Acre had been establishing a Trade Federation in the south as James received word of the declaration. He was amused by the fact that the Dutchy felt the need to make an open declaration. After his insults, threats and rages in countless personal letters it was clear to all of Acre what his intentions were.
In a letter to the realm James wrote
"Brothers, Sisters, Friends, Old Enemies, People of Calradia,
We have not been the aggressor since leaving the combat zone between Legionaires and Kingdoms of the North (RIP) in accordance with the terms of the Legionaires and have in good faith been rebuilding. They again come to war with us, with the goal of wiping us from the map as described to me personally by their leader.
In this unjust war of personal hatred by the tyrannical Dutchy, of the Legionaires, I appeal to all of you to fight alongside the Acre Trade Federation. Let us preserve the right of Traders across the realm! We will fight to the end. Glory, Gold, and Silver await those who aid our holy Trade Federation!"
If you had any balls at all dutchy you guys would attack the Wardens... The faction that didn't just lose a war. That said I look forward to kicking your slumping corpse off my blade.
The really sad thing about Strat is that there is no strategy. It's all about rosters. If I had a thousand man shiny army, with Jack1 (RIP), Jona, JayJrod, Plumbo, St. Joan and my lads Albus and Sitvek in my roster I could conquer the whole map. Sad, but true.
Pshhh till you ran into my army of 300, with Kaoklai, Lubu, DeadHorse, ChesterOtab, Bob, and my lads Tyefire and Dionysus.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#FreeSAN2015
This is a bunch of vassals if ever there was, sire.
http://forum.melee.org/diplomacy/house-stark-declares-war-on-the-republic-of-squids/
This is a bunch of vassals if ever there was, sire.
http://forum.melee.org/diplomacy/house-stark-declares-war-on-the-republic-of-squids/
*sigh*... i'm going to castrate you...
That was LONG ago with a different Acre. The minute they joined KoTN our treaties dissolved. I am bum chums with Acre though...
Any one who declares war on my ex-vassals declares war on me. And if I can convince myself Talanarsis looks like that avatar rather than being a dude, I'll probably marry... her. So that, with my eternal hatred to you for rebelling against my just and kind rule, we will be Eternal Enemies in you Eternal war!
Just kidding Dutchy- Love you like a brother mate, but gotta stay in the RP
Roaming the Stark desert, somewhere between New Tilimsal and Nova Fisdnar...
"My Lord, urgent news from Stark leadership!"
Device, rudely awakened from his evening nap, groaned, "what is it this time? Did Tristan nick the edge of his favorite blade once again? Perhaps our innocent Virgin has found this mythical 'Furnavi' and wishes me to meet with him?"
"The Legionaires have claimed House Stark to be a vassal of Acre and lain siege to Nova Durrin," the messenger relayed in carefully recited words.
"Oh. Well, uh, shit."
"My Lord?"
Device pondered the news. "This isn't too surprising. Dutchy always did seem like a cunt of an invertebrate too lacking in any sort of spine to pick on Kingdoms his own's size."
"Are you calling him a Squid, my Lord?"
"Hah! He may not be by name, but we all know his true place in the world."
"My Lord, if I may interject," the messenger was clearly worried, "the Legionaires have the superior armies, they hold the Northern Steppes, and they are in good standings with the Wardens of the North. I know I speak out of turn, but I must ask, how could the Starks intend to win a war against such impossible odds?"
"Now that is a good question." Device carefully thought over the situation. After a long time, he replied.
"I suppose we'll just have to kill them."
Not sure what all this buzz about us being Acre vassals is about. Considering who's launching the first attack, I'm guessing Mind_Calamari just has a mad case of the butthurt and wants any excuse to drag House Stark into a war it has nothing to do with.
You can hold that shield up all you want in the strat battles to come, friend. I'll just have to break it before I stab you in the face.
I never thought I'd see the day Bryggan would advocate a 7 vs 82... Shame on you!
And shame being brought on their good name isn’t going to happen. They’re good people. Again sorry to squish your dreams of us two fighting it out.
Bryggan specifically stated that the shame wouldn't fall on individual people ;).
Look heres a quote saying just that
A client kingdom is a client kingdom. If the Wardens shirk their responsibilities in abiding by their half of the contract (to provide protection), then let shame dwell on all their faction, and on all their clans, but not their individuals, cuz individuals don't care.
I never thought I'd see the day Bryggan would advocate a 7 vs 82... Shame on you!
You guys are the aggressors here my dear squiddy boy. If someone declared war on the US and then got pissed off that Canada, Mexica, the UK, and France, and a shit load of other countries all dog piled them then its kind of their fault. Also I still think its hilarious you jumped ship on WOTN the second the war ended to join a different faction to continue fighting us.
Nerp, New Zealanders are my weakness
You make my womanhood tremble!
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Dammit trying to exploit happy's weakness... women. Sneaky
I never thought I'd see the day Bryggan would advocate a 7 vs 82... Shame on you!
I wept when I saw that. You know, as well as I do, that numbers mean nothing. I became high king with just one other member- Dirk. Albus had joined us, but was destroyed by Goretooth. But with the 3 of us, and much later, the four of us, we ended up owning one of the largest NA empires ever. The thing is, we had decent numbers, and great gear that we looted from KBW trying to hunt down Goretooth (who attacked the fledgling Albus).
And we had the best merc support ever. Like "Kabaam!" you're dead merc support.
So numbers mean nothing in this "strategy" game. When I reestablished James, i lost a lot of merc support. I had control of Acre, but most were 'whatever' Strat players. You can't force people to play.
But a few people held on, and we had some great battles. like nail biting ones, in which you didn't know if you'd win or lose right til the end. It was a completely awesome feeling when you lost a battle, yet all your mercs were still excited about and kept on talking.
So yeah, I completely confesss to trying my damndest to instigate a war with the Wardens and the Legionairres. Both Dutchy and Finnian can attest to that. They're not fools; they knew exactly what I was doing. But I fed them my bullshit according to the rules of RP. And they both squirmed, fearing an equal battle (authors opinion, mybe not theirs). One has roster support, and one has shitloads of Eu money and men. Would have been a great war. And the one true failure that I am ashamed of is not getting them to fight.
So, to reiterate, player numbers mean nothing. Money, gear, troops and a few active commanders mean everything.
Oh, and rosters. Rosters mean everything. So everyone, quit being a pussy and support your local underdog. No one does ninjah rosters anymore, so just sign up for the lower roster. There is more shame in ganking than there is being gankedd.
A City Under Siege
I sat at my desk in New Ahmerrad, pouring over a map of Calradia. "Logically, the first place they would attack would be Ahmerrad, especially after taking Durrin. It would secure their front line and give them a solid front..." I mumbled to myself.
"My Lord! My Lord! sJimmy has made his move! He lays siege to your glorious city, New Ahmerrad!" the messenger sputtered out, winded from his long hard ride. I stood from my chair, knocking it over to the ground in my haste as I strode to the window. I looked out over my city, past the walls, and saw a mass of men setting up camp and constructing siege ladders.
"How many do the scouts say there are?" I asked, not looking away from the scene.
"Our best guess is around 1,500 men. Enough to take the city if they're organized enough." he replied solemnly.
"Very well, you are dismissed. Send Furnavi in here, we must discuss our defenses." I said, already deep in my own thoughts. A few minutes later I heard the door shut behind me.
"Tristan, I see we are on the defense yet again. I just inspected the armory and found it lacking to say the least. How are we planning on pulling this off?" He asked, picking up my chair from the ground and sitting in it.
I turned from the window towards him and leaned against the window sill.
"Yes, unfortunately I have been away from my lands for too long. I didn't expect an attack on them this soon after the end of our war with the Wardens..." I said grimly. "Maybe all is not lost, perhaps an ally from Acre could make it and supply us with gear? Are any close? Maybe MURDERDEATH? She was nearby last I heard."
Furnavi chewed his lip for a moment before responding "Unfortunately our scouts report the nearest Acre armies are over by New Durquba and would be unable to get here in time. MURDERDEATH is said to be across the mountains outside of the desert. It seems we must fight on our own with what we have."
I walked over to the table and rolled up the map I was looking at and put it back in a pile of others. I quickly searched through the pile and pulled out another and spread it on the table. A map of New Ahmerrad.
"Come. Let us plan our defenses" I said motioning Furnavi to join me at the table.
A few hours passed and we were still working hard. The hot desert sun was starting to set over the horizon when a loud knock came from the door. Looking at Furnavi questioningly, he gave me an innocent shrug before looking back at the map. I got up and walked over to the door and opened it. I was surprised to see a Guard standing there.
"Yes? What is it?" I asked curiously. The Guard stood there as if questioning what he was about to tell me before speaking.
"Uhm, you see my Lord uh. Well, another large group as appeared to the south of the city. It appears to be about a thousand people." he said nervously.
"What!" I shouted in surprise. "Whose banners do they fly? Are the friend or foe?"
"This could turn out even worse than we thought" Furnavi muttered still looking at the map and moving some markers towards the south wall.
"Well, thats just it my Lord. They aren't flying any banners. In fact, it appears to be a very very large group of courtesans." he sputtered out.
"Courtesans?" I asked, not sure if I was being lied to or not.
"Yes sir, they are prostitutes." the Guard replied.
"Yes yes, I know what they are. Very well, lead me to the South Gates. We shall see what they want" I said while grabbing my sword and strapping it to my waist. "Continue with the planning Furnavi, I should be back soon." I said as I walked out the door and shut it behind me, on my way to meet a large bunch of whores.
Link to battle: http://c-rpg.net/index.php?page=strategusbattlesupcoming#!?page=strategusinfobattledetail&id=3922
Device felt like a 16 year old again.
It must have been a sight to behold. A lord confidently riding toward the besieged New Ahmerrad with only his household guard and nearly a thousand courtesans in tow. Not those brutes the Northerners called girls, but proper Southern girls, with beauty and grace that surpassed even their luxurious cotton dresses. The smell of sweet perfume women of their stature wore was strong enough even to fend off the general stink of sweat and shit that followed a marching army. Most who looked upon his advance would see a lord with an almost inhumanly voracious appetite, but him and his guard knew these courtesans were not simply tagging along for pleasure, but also hiding crate upon crate's worth of weapons and armors under their dresses.
Device rode a short distance ahead of his company, there was a foul smell on the wind. He called for the head of his guard.
"Devak, inform the me- inform our escort that we've almost reached New Ahmerrad."
Devak squinted out toward the horizon of the seemingly endless desert. "I see nothing."
"If you can't find a city with your eyes, search with your nose. When the smell of shit gets stronger, the city gets closer."
"Very wise, my Lord. I still can't believe you convinced so many courtesans to relocate to a besieged city."
Device laughed. "If there's one thing we Starks protect more vigorously than our cities, it's our brothels. Besides, Legionaires need quality women as much as us Starks. Win or lose, proper courtesans will only gain from all the traffic. Hold up during the battle then make a fortune afterwards. If any of the men want to pay for one last romp before the city is in view, tell them it's already too late, so to hurry it up. They'll need to find a way to do it on horseback, we're not stopping."
Within the hour, New Ahmerrad came into view. Almost as impressive as the magnificent monolith that was the city walls was the sea of men camped outside them. Even while still a good distance out, the pleasant rhythmic hum of blacksmiths hammering weapons and armor into shape, the laughter that came with soldiers playing games of dice, and the confusion of seeing nearly a thousand beautiful women covertly sneaking supplies to one's enemy filled Device's ears. A nervous looking lad along with some twenty men rode out to receive him as his horse confidently marched toward the massive army.
"G-g-good day, m-my Lord."
"Quit stammering and grow a damn spine boy. What are you, a Squid?" Device felt sorry for the boy. He was clearly just a squire assigned to question all those entering and leaving. He wasn't prepared to handle a situation like this. Nobody was. It took a brave man to stare down a thousand impatient women and hold his cool.
"M-my apologies. What are you and your - er, companions doing riding toward Ahmerrad, my Lord?" The boy had regained some composure.
"I plan to stand on the battlements with my brothers in defense of Ahmerrad. I have that right, do I not?"
"Of course, my Lord. It's just, uh, what is the purpose of all these, uh, fine ladies at your heels?"
"You think I'm going to cross this damnable desert without plenty of fine wine and fine girls? Are you Legionaires some kind of celibates? Or perhaps you fear whores taking up arms against your army now?"
There was laughter both from Device's guard and from the twenty men in company of the boy. "Of course not, my Lord! It's just an unexpected sight to behold such fine ladies entering such a dangerous place. Also, well, some of them look a bit strange." The boy had grown defensive, but managed to redirect the conversation appropriately.
"Strange how?" Device growled.
"Well, that one over there, for instance. She's quite plump," the boy said pointing to a courtesan with a massive lump, roughly the size of a man's torso, bulging out from under her dress.
"She's pregnant," Device said instantly.
"Pregnant?"
Device looked back. The men hadn't had time to pull apart every piece of plate armor they'd brought with them, so they'd simply shoved an entire torso section of Milanese Plate under the girl's dress. The result was an incredibly bulbous and misshapen growth that appeared to be sprouting from the girl in question. It was easily the most ridiculous sight he had ever seen. He turned back around. "It's a fat one," he said, holding as straight of a face as he could manage. It was the most difficult challenge he'd ever faced in his life.
"As you say, my Lord. Would you like one of our doctors to take a look at her and make sure she's okay? She looks-"
"No no. We have people of our own to take care of that. I simply want to enter the city."
"Well, I mean, something about this just doesn't seem quite right, and I-"
"Are you refusing a Lord his right to enter his own House's damn city, boy?! If you're so unsure, why don't you go call upon sJimmy for his input. I'm sure he's busy with war preparations at the moment. Likely to take your head for disturbing him over such a trivial matter, now that I think about it. But if you're so uneasy, it may be best to bring him over. Run along now."
The boy's eyes suddenly widened in terror "N-no! My Lord, I apologize for my horrible rudeness. Please, enter the city, you and your companions. Neither I nor my brothers in arms shall challenge you."
"Good. Glad to see some sense in one such as yourself, boy. Keep it up and you may become a leader one day." Device whistled back to his cohorts, kicked at his horse, and rode off into the city.
--
Soldiers stared as they rode by. The courtesans smiled, batted eyelashes, and made suggestive looks at the Legionaires as they passed. A short spat with the gatekeeper passed, and the gate was opened just enough to allow Device's escort through, prepared to shut in an instant if the Legionaires tried to take advantage of the opening.
To Device's surprise, Tristan was already waiting for him at the gate when he arrived. "Ah, Tristan, you old neerdowell, you've gotten fatter," Device greeted him.
"And you've made some new friends, I see. I take it there's more to this story?" Tristan was worried, the situation at Ahmerrad was weighing on his mind, he was clearly in no mood to play games.
"Indeed there is. Come, to the keep."
They rode through the city. Civilians took time away from attempting to fortify their homes to gaze upon the more-than-welcome sight marching through their streets. However, they didn't dally among the citizens. They marched with purpose, directly to the keep. Ahmerrad was under siege, and there was little time left to prepare.
Upon arriving, Tristan was perplexed at the sight of nearly a thousand courtesans in his keep's main hall, almost more than it could hold. His jaw proceeded to fall, leaving his mouth agape, as the whores proceeded to lift their dresses and shower steel onto the floor beneath them. Device simply smiled.
Quick shout out to the Legionaires for not contesting us on reinforcing our fief before the siege. Glad to see more interest in having a fun strat battle than ensuring a victory.
You captured those troops from Kingdoms of the North after we followed Bryggans commands to stand down. Gosh Jimmy you really are so tough.
I'm shaking in my shynbaulds :lol:
What i would like to see is tiptoe tell us why he had to screw us and leave with all the men a equipment we gave him... Coulda been used for some good battles but now they have to be wasted by us crushing him.
Apparently he is a "Just A HornyYellowGummyBear Running Around On Strat Fucking Shit Up." So yeah, that answers... everything.
Quote taken from his bio on the crpg site.
Device and Tristan sat in the the main hall, sharing drinks with the soldiers who stood in the defense of New Ahmerrad. The lords had drawn straws to determine who would help the men shovel the bodies of fallen Legionaires off the outer wall, and the Not So Innocent Virgin's straw had come up the shortest. Device felt somewhat guilty rigging the game, but not guilty enough to condemn himself to working with the body flippers under the hot sun. Talanarsis could manage a day of hard labor.
Tristan poured a cup of wine and said, "The battle was almost disappointing. I feared for the city, but the siege was won handily. A closer battle would have brought more glory."
Device snorted "Hah! Sucks to your glory. It's hard to reap the benefits of glory or, more importantly, drink wine and fuck girls when you're dead. I'll take my sure-footed victories over your narrow battles any day. Besides, I rounded up every single courtesan I could find East of New Ahmerrad. If you'd have lost the city we'd have lost the women. If that had happened, there would have been no point in you surviving the battle. Afterwards, I would have killed you myself."
For a time, they simply sat and drank. As the day was coming to an end, the soldiers began returning to the keep. An exhausted Not So Innocent Virgin returned with a shovel over her shoulder and men nipping at her heels. A messenger ran into the hall.
"My Lords! Urgent news from New Durquba. A massive Legionaire force of multiple thousands has been spotted on the approach. They intend to take the city!"
Device immediately looked at Tristan with a face of contempt. "Let me guess, you have some damn fool notion that we should ride to Durquba and stand with them on the ramparts."
Tristan said nothing.
"You want to drink up all the glory of some magnificent battle against a superior force, and you want to drag me down South with you in your crusade of stupidity."
Device's rambling was met with more silence.
Device gave a long sigh, then said "Well, I suppose we'll have to ride down and kill them then. Never let it be said Device of House Stark has the courage of a Squid."
And that was that. With barely an afternoon of rest after the siege of New Ahmerrad, the two packed up their gear and rode to the Southeast, where the weather was hotter and the Legionaires were ripe for the slaying.
So a couple of things for this spoiler.
First, I'd condemn Mind_Calamari for glitching himself out on a ladder to kill people off at the end of the most recent Durquba Siege, but I can't really say I expected better of him. He should definitely add himself to his "Top Scumbags of cRPG" list though.
Second, this shit with the third siege against Durquba is not okay. You want to take Durquba down through attrition, I get it, that's cool. What isn't cool is sieging 3 days in a row at progressively later times. 11:30 PM on a Sunday night is a terrible time for me. I wake up at 6:30, or 7 if I'm feeling ballsy, for Monday classes. When you factor in that plenty of other people either have to also deal with class or deal with work, and that some of these people are probably East Coasters dealing with a 2:30 AM siege, scheduling just gets ridiculous.
If you can't take Durquba by force, you should learn when you're beaten and just piss off. Don't try to dick people over through both attrition and bad time scheduling.
To the City:
The desert sun was hot, my armor was even hotter, and Devices complaints didn't make any of it more bearable. Leaving the vast host of our troops at Ahmerrad in case of an assault, Device, our Queen Not_So_Innocent_Virgin, my fellow bannermen DaBids and Wix, and myself where the only relief we could send to our allies in Acre. After a few long days ride we reached the outskirts of the city. Literal thousands of Legionnaires were amassed outside, with one purpose. To get in.
After a few moments of staring in awe at the sight of so many soldiers, Device was the first to speak.
"How exactly are we supposed to get past that?" he mused. "I doubt they'd let an armed group of lords and their enemy Queen waltz past their army and into the city".
As I cast a sour look at Device I opened my mouth to speak. However before I could, Wix chimed in.
"Maybe they'd let us tango on in?" he said with a grin, "Or maybe salsa?"
"We could Jive on in!" DaBirds said laughing, slapping Wix on the back with merriment. A loud sigh came from our Queen as she rubbed her temples.
"After we castrate these Legionaries, I swear I might just castrate the lot of you as well. Tristan, I sent you on a mission to New Tamnuh to ask around on how we could get into the city. Any luck?"
"Yes my Queen. We have found out about a water system that leads from the nearby lake into the city. Its how the city gets its water. We can swim up it going with the current to get to the city. We might have to ditch some of our equipment, but I'm sure we will be able to make it in.
Scoffing, Device looked at me as if I was mad. "Swim underground into the city? Thats madness. And if we found out about it so easily, why hasn't our enemy tried it?"
"Well they might not know about it. And we could always seal it up after we get into the city to prevent them from following us." I retorted. Device opened his mouth to debate but was cut off by the Queen raising her right hand.
"All of you be quiet. We will try Tristans plan. Lets head out." she said simply. We all turned our horses to the lake. We rode the short ride in silence, and upon arriving we all dismounted. After that we all just stared at the lake waiting for the first one to speak. After a minute, Wix walked up to the lake and poked his finger in the water.
"Wow, its actually surprisingly cold. This might be rather refreshing." he said while undoing his sword belt and dropping it on the ground. He took of his helmet and threw it on the ground and was removing his aketon before DaBirds spoke up.
"What are you doing? Stripping in the middle of the desert, in front of the Queen?" He asked, somewhat incredulously.
"Well its not like I'm going to wait all day, I recommend you all join me so we can get to our allies as fast as possible." before tossing his aketon on the ground and going for the shoes. Somewhat reluctantly, the rest of us followed in stripping out of our gear. After we were all in our small clothes, we dived in and started for the tunnel. It was a long swim and by the time we managed to surface my lungs were burning. I burst through the surface and gasped in air greedily. After a moment I took a look at my surroundings. I very quickly noticed the large amount of crossbows and bows aimed at us.
"Who are you? How did you get in here?" demanded the Sergeant, in an Acre surcoat.
"Is this any way to greet allies?" Device asked sarcastically. Splashing him with one hand to silence him, I spoke up.
"Greetings good Sir. We are the Lords of House Stark and have come to help in the defense of your city. We had to take a somewhat secret route to get in, as I'm sure you've noticed there are several thousand Legionnaires outside city. I'm sure if you take us to King James he can confirm our identities." I said, doing my best to keep my voice from wavering as I shivered from the cold of the water. After a few moments of considering our ludicrous story, the Sergeant motions for us to come out of the water.
"Very well, I'll take you to see the King. But any sudden moves and I'll cut you down." and so with that, we went to meet the King.
Meeting With James:
After drying off and given some clothes to put on, we were in the Great Hall of Durquba. King James himself sat on the Throne, flanked by Axeman and Voren who stood on guard. After looking at us for a moment, he let out a hearty laugh.
"I barely recognized you Stark dogs from all the dirt you're under. Have you come to help us against the Legionaires?"
Stepping forward, the Queen did a curtsy fit for a King and began to speak.
"Long have Acre and Stark been allies, and we are here to honor that. Our swords shall be yours in the battles to come. Those Legionnaires may have numbers, but any who fight for gold lack heart and conviction. We shall stand resolute together for we must, less we stand alone and fall."
James sat there and pondered for a moment. "Well said M'lady. But I'm sure you're tired from your travels. We will have you shown to your rooms and food sent there, but keep at the ready. They may attack at any moment." Once he was finished speaking, his servants led us from the hall and we were taking to our chambers. I had barely eaten and drifted off when the horns blew...
Sieges of Durquba:
The first assault on the first day happened in the evening. Normally, I'd be up at this time but I had retired early for the battle. After being awakened by the horns of war, I quickly grabbed my sword, shield, and crossbow and sallied to the walls. On the way I met up with Device. Together we stood firm with our men, pushing back wave after wave of Legionnaires. Eventually they pulled back and stopped their attacks for the night. Tired and exhausted to the bone, I went to my rooms and passed out.
The next day I got up early, rested from the battle before. Upon arriving on the walls, I noticed our troops were mismatched and we had no crossbows or bows for our ranged fighters. I walked over to the Sergeant and asked him what was going on.
"Well you see sir, after gaining all the loot from last night, our armory is full and we cant get to the ranged weapons, and ladders, as they are in the back of the armory and there's a pile of equipment in the way. Dont worry, as we use it up we will get access to it. Maybe. If we are lucky." I stood there for a moment just taken aback at the stupidity I had just heard. After recovering I tried to stop myself from yelling at this man.
"Couldn't we just move the equipment? How does it make any sense to leave all the junk in the way to not use the useful stuff?" the Sergeant looked at me and replied as if I was an idiot.
"Well obviously we can't just get rid of the junk, our enemy attacked us. It would be dishonorable to get rid of it now. So we shall use it." I gave the man my biggest look of contempt and turned around and went to my post. Unable to get a crossbow(as it had apparently been buried in junk) I grabbed a sword and a shield, ready to engage in melee. However, I spent most of the day waiting, as the Legionnaires attacked later in the night than before. This time the Legionnaires left nothing out. Apparently in the night, two legendary warriors Allers and Miley had arrived. The two of them led the charges on our walls and hacked a swath through the defenders. However, our luck held strong and the small last vestiges of defenders pushed the attackers out of the city, causing them to retreat once again. This time, they had used up most of the forces. Feeling relieved that we had defeated two massive waves, the remaining defenders celebrated into the night. However, upon waking up my eyes saw new horrors. More had come in the night, and laid siege to us once again. When I found Device he was pacing back and forth, cursing their names, my name for bringing him into this city, and his own stupidity for letting me. I decided to let him be and went to stand on the walls once more. I dozed off in one of the towers when the horns rang out again.
"An attack this late at night? These Legionnaires really are getting desperate. Very well, I shall bring the fight to them."
Wrote a bit longer than I intended. Split it up into spoilers so it isn't a massive wall of text.
When did I say we where only attacking the desert?
All right Gentlemen, here’s a deal, we hoping to have some battles. So, we are going to attack your fiefs in the Desert Area and the Desert Area only. After we have attacked your villages, castles, city’s, we will consider the war over and hand them back. What say you?
Here to hoping nighttime won’t be a problem nor crazy attacks from your side at piss poor hours.
You technically didn't, but your faction leader did.(even though it totally seems like he's just a figure head)
Give him one of your other 50 fiefs, not that Stark earnt any of them, they have all been taken unchallenged off AFK clans.
Its a war game and just because you guys like the pretty pink writing that dont really mean anything from the way you took all your fiefs. If you cant defend them then you are at risk of losing them, so stop crying about it and just give him another fief. :rolleyes:
Lol. Like you earned any of your stuff? You just buy peoples loyalty with the millions of gold you made back in Strat 1 when you could make assloads easy mode. All you fucking do is throw a few million gold around to buy the best mercs loyalty. At least we actually show up and fight in our strat battles and make somewhat of a difference. Also, before you go "B-b-but muh ping is 200+" thats your fucking problem for playing on an NA server? And congrats you are good at shooting a catapult lets see you actually charge the breach in something that isn't full plate with a shield and then end up doing jack shit and going 1:40 or whatever in the battle. Let me know when you are done gargling on Allers/Mileys/Voncrows cocks for winning all your battles for you my old friend.
Yes I'm mad. Dutchy is just the Supreme Overlord of my old frienddom and gets me mad.
wait what.
Dont ya remember love, Cha Ching, it was the Wedding of the North.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECewrAld3zw
James came to stand at the massive round table that had been carved for the great hall of Durquba. As he looked out at the group of veteran Lords and Knights seated around him he thought back fondly of the journey they had shared, and the crusaders who had not lived to see the southern lands of their forefathers retaken. After taking a strong pull from his chalice of spiced wine he spoke.
"Though large tracts of Calradia and many old and famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of the Legion and all the odious apparatus of Scumlord rule, we shall not flag or fail.
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in the sands, we shall fight on the mountains and plains, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength, we shall defend our lands, whatever the cost may be.
We shall fight in the villages, we shall fight in the castles, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight on the hills; we shall never surrender, and if, which I do not for a moment believe, this federation or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our loyal Knights and Allies, armed and guarded by the will of chadz, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old."
Hey if I'm going to kiss anyones ass with my +'s its gonna be the HOLY FUCKING EMPEROR BRYGGAN
Not mine? Thanks alot you worthless piece of sh!t...
Jk, you know I love ya bae
So, word is is that Bryggan married NSIV, and at the wedding everyone elected Bryggan to become Emperor, provided he appointed a senate or a house of lords or something to keep that madman in check. Not quite democracy, but a seedling of such. Besotted by NSIV, who actually looks just like her avatar, Bryggan succumbed. He also said he'd stop drinking... so....
As Emperor. along with his Empress, they grant amnesty to the steppe folk, and wish them to join them. But, of course, due to past transgressions they insist that thsy give up all cities and castles, and the arms that lay within, and that they shall limit themselves to armies of 200 and shall only use monies gained to equip such men. Any extra men, money or arms, shall be transferred to the nearest proven loyal lord in our realm.
A small price to pay, and on would be a fool to pass on it.
;)
To James & Bryggan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaIJKM0sjdo
P.S. Bryggan "your wife" to quote Austin Powers "THAT'S A MAN BABY!"