Roaming the Stark desert, somewhere between New Tilimsal and Nova Fisdnar...
"My Lord, urgent news from Stark leadership!"
Device, rudely awakened from his evening nap, groaned, "what is it this time? Did Tristan nick the edge of his favorite blade once again? Perhaps our innocent Virgin has found this mythical 'Furnavi' and wishes me to meet with him?"
"The Legionaires have claimed House Stark to be a vassal of Acre and lain siege to Nova Durrin," the messenger relayed in carefully recited words.
"Oh. Well, uh, shit."
"My Lord?"
Device pondered the news. "This isn't too surprising. Dutchy always did seem like a cunt of an invertebrate too lacking in any sort of spine to pick on Kingdoms his own's size."
"Are you calling him a Squid, my Lord?"
"Hah! He may not be by name, but we all know his true place in the world."
"My Lord, if I may interject," the messenger was clearly worried, "the Legionaires have the superior armies, they hold the Northern Steppes, and they are in good standings with the Wardens of the North. I know I speak out of turn, but I must ask, how could the Starks intend to win a war against such impossible odds?"
"Now
that is a good question." Device carefully thought over the situation. After a long time, he replied.
"I suppose we'll just have to kill them."
Not sure what all this buzz about us being Acre vassals is about. Considering who's launching the first attack, I'm guessing Mind_Calamari just has a mad case of the butthurt and wants any excuse to drag House Stark into a war it has nothing to do with.
You can hold that shield up all you want in the strat battles to come, friend. I'll just have to break it before I stab you in the face.
