Author Topic: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG  (Read 9627 times)

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Offline Christo

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #90 on: April 16, 2012, 10:36:45 pm »
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Offline Tanken

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #91 on: April 16, 2012, 10:37:01 pm »
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- Blocking down around your waist blocked even the most obscene angles of a thrust.
- Shields had additional force-fields around them.
- Just because an axe appeared to be in someone's head, it was most likely in their shoulder.
- Calradia was the name of Europe back in the day.
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Offline Teeth

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #92 on: April 16, 2012, 11:27:53 pm »
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aaah you beat me to it christo!  :evil:
That after every battle all the remaining soldiers released their attacks. Sometimes this resulted in grevious wounds and even death to comrades.
And Christo got beaten to it too.

Offline Christo

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #93 on: April 16, 2012, 11:30:23 pm »
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And Christo got beaten to it too.

 : o
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Offline Lactose_the_intolerant

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #94 on: April 16, 2012, 11:37:54 pm »
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Offline wanteds

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #95 on: April 17, 2012, 12:06:12 am »
+1
People played football in medieval times, with swords!
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Offline Vote

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #96 on: April 17, 2012, 12:25:43 am »
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I say let Tzar make the balance!

Offline Christo

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #97 on: April 17, 2012, 12:42:02 am »
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Offline wanteds

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #98 on: April 17, 2012, 12:50:01 am »
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There was a holy virgin in medieval times who would keep her virginity, after countless waves of rapage by horny peasants.
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Offline Kafein

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #99 on: April 17, 2012, 01:04:05 am »
+5
Holy texts say that when you died because one of your allies killed you, you were asked by god wether should he in your opinion be stricken by godly lightning and vanish from existence.

People could look all around them without moving their heads, and while doing absolutely anything, even running forward as fast as they can.

People could turn their right arm around their shoulders freely, even doing multiple turns in a certain direction. This was very useful for axe throwers.

Instead of nodding, people faked blocking an high attack.

You had to pass several shield use exams and get a license before being allowed to use certain shields.

Melee weapons and armours had very precise fitness requirements. If you did not meet them, there was simply no way you could use those pieces of equipment.

When people carrying shields were close to each other, their shields where all individually stronger and faster to use.

All battles were fought until one side was completely obliterated, or after a very elusive flag that all soldiers wanted to appear sooner and less randomly was capped. An army never ever retreated. Ever.

If a man or woman felt and died, he or she necessarily hit the ground with the head first. At least that's what the forensics always said when they wrote the battle reports.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2012, 01:05:23 am by Kafein »

Offline Remy

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #100 on: April 17, 2012, 01:13:05 am »
+1
It was common for arrows, stones, javelins, bolts and various other ranged weapons to pass straight through an enemy soldier without said individual coming to harm.
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Offline Tomas_of_Miles

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #101 on: April 17, 2012, 01:18:35 am »
+2
The medieval predecessor of football did indeed use swords, but the ball itself was passed between players and shot with pure rage energy.
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Offline polkafranzi

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #102 on: April 17, 2012, 01:30:10 am »
+1
When people died in medieval times, the second their heart stopped beating, their bodies magically became made out of nothing but thin air, however you could still see the body. 
Meaning sometimes, if you were double teaming someone, you'd likely hit your friend if he got the kill first and you were still swinging at the dead person.
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Offline Tomas_of_Miles

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #103 on: April 17, 2012, 01:32:21 am »
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When people died in medieval times, the second their heart stopped beating, their bodies magically became made out of nothing but thin air, however you could still see the body. 
Meaning sometimes, if you were double teaming someone, you'd likely hit your friend if he got the kill first and you were still swinging at the dead person.
For some reason your mallet swinging into my royal highness after a fail ambush where I threw some smoke bombs comes to mind...
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Offline Son Of Odin

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #104 on: April 17, 2012, 02:35:24 am »
+3
-In medieval fight a man could magically move himself through his enemy and hit him in the back.
-Great lances were almost the worst cavalry weapons right with meat cleaver and wooden stick.
-It was fairly usual sight to see someone strong beating plate armored knights to death with a cudgel.
-Sadly there was no donkeys to ride.
-Kebab could be sliced with big axe
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