cRPG

Strategus => Diplomacy => Topic started by: Built on February 19, 2015, 12:44:42 am

Title: War with the Whore
Post by: Built on February 19, 2015, 12:44:42 am
As we rode into town this day, a crier sang out in such a way "Hence forth and hither to, I have news to bring to you. Hark now to my words that shall be heard if you are wise enough to evade the lies. Be it known to all that the King of Mithrim has put out a call to every bannermen in the land, all are to come to follow his hand as we march off to war against the Stark lands."

Seems Mithrim is off the deep rim and going to war with the forces of the Starks and what have you.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Talanarsis on February 19, 2015, 01:37:39 am
Why does everyone think i'm a whore? I'm a virgin! I welded on my chastity belt for pete's sake!
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 19, 2015, 01:40:44 am
Rumors came flying at me as I passed by the Warden lands of Slzeskh and Yruma. "War, war is coming! War against the Starks!". "War?" I scoffed, "Why would the Wardens want to go to war with us. First they demand our peace with the Squids, and we give it to them, then they demand my Queens hand in marriage and the exile of one of her most loyal followers, and the Queen does her best to satisfy them. Clearly this is not enough to satisfy that warmonger Thalion." I continued my ride through the Warden controlled North flying my Stark banner high above my head.

As I rode towards the lands of New Karindi one of my scouts rode up towards me. "My lord! My lord! JayJrod has fielded an army! They come this way!" he shouted, out of breath. "Those cowardly Wardens, they don't even have the balls to declare war before attacking. They must rely on surprise, trying to catch me off guard. Very well, rouse the troops! If its a fight they want, its a fight they shall get" I responded, gripping my sword out of anger. "Call the troops, we shall hold here and engage them in battle. We will show them what it means to attack a Stark!"

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Built on February 19, 2015, 02:34:15 am
Why does everyone think i'm a whore? I'm a virgin! I welded on my chastity belt for pete's sake!

THATS THE JOKE
Title: Re: War with the Whore (Read 32 times)
Post by: MountedRhader on February 19, 2015, 02:50:59 am
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Re: War with the Whore (Read 32 times)

Mod dead.  :(
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on February 19, 2015, 04:34:12 am
The night wind blew cold on the desert, and many of the caravan guards huddled beside the pack horses for warmth while the rest tried getting some sleep under the fluttering noise of their wind whipped tents.  A small distance off the main encampment a small fire blazed.

"Oh Great and Mighty Mardook," one man at the fire intoned.

"Marduk"  corrected the other man.

"Oh Great and Mighty Marduk.  Protect us in your savage lands.  Grant blessing upon this lowly caravan that we make shitloads of money.  Make us filthy, filthy rich.  I'm thinking cartloads of silver.  In exchange, I offer you this wine."  The man speaking spilt a few drops on the sand.

"I think you're supposed to pour the whole goblet out."

"Dammit Dirk, we're getting low on booze.  He's a bloody god!! Can't he make his own wine with a snap of his fingers?"

"I think its the idea, Bryggan," Dirk answered.

"Oh damn," Bryggan said, "very well."  And he poured out the rest of the goblet.

"So, what are you going to do with all the silver we're gonna make on this run?" Dirk asked.

"Hmmm.  Don't really know.  I sorta had it all as high king.  And honestly, I found most of the luxuries quite boring.  Feather beds are too soft, I'd take a bed roll on the ground any day; them fine wines and fancy foods give me heart burn- I like my sour red and hard bread.  And all those bloody servants.  Damn, they got under my skin.  Not a moment's peace with them about.  And them bloody large palaces!  I tell you..."

"Sir!"  he was interrupted by a messenger, who handed him a parchment then left.

Bryggan opened it and perused its contents by the firelight.  "Hmm", he grunted, "well, well, well."

"What is it?" Dirk asked.

"I don't know, I can't read!" shouted Bryggan, throwing the letter at him.

Dirk picked it up.  "Wow", he said, "the guild master was attacked in Curaw.  The Wardens have declared war on House Stark.  In fact, they called her a whore."

"BEL'S BEARD!!!" Bryggan shouted, punching the sand.

"Um, I think you meant Marduk's beard- we're in the desert."

"Oh, damn, right," Bryggan said, "does Marduk have a beard?"

"Maybe 'Marduk's mustache' would be an appropriate curse."

"Well, by whatever god's whatever facial hair, this is no good.  The Wardens of the North have apparently decided to become the Wardens of Everywhere.  Such ambitions at empire building!  Who on earth could have inspired that?!?!"

"And there is the insult to Not So Innocent Virgin's chastity," Dirk added.

"Yes.  Oh when Albus and Sitvek hear what they said about their moth... about this lovely lady, they will demand blood!"

"So," smiled Dirk, "are we going to keep trading?"

"No dammit!," Bryggan snarled, then yelled to one of the caravan guards.  "Order the men to mount up!  We strike camp and leave immediately!"

"Fuck off!" the caravan guard replied.

"Oh, ok," Bryggan said, chastised, "we leave tomorrow."

Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 19, 2015, 04:52:00 am
Hi my name is Jona and what's going on here?
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on February 19, 2015, 05:08:43 am
Hi Jona!  I'm Bryggan.  I will be your guide to the current state of political affairs in NA politics.

Some people attacked some people, and some other people helped the people attacked.  Then those people declared war on those people.

Hope I helped clarify things.

The thing is, it is a new war, and I'm sure nobody really knows what side they are on at the moment.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 19, 2015, 05:16:14 am
AFAIK, Virgin attacked Curaw, then Thalion got mad and said if we won he would declare war on us(after we had already attacked), Rostam comes and deposits a bunch of gear in Curaw(we didn't stop him because we didn't want a war with the Wardens), then we lose the siege of Curaw and I go on my computer today to see I've been attacked by JayJrod. Thats all I know.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on February 19, 2015, 05:40:25 am
Kinda curious why you attacked Curaw.  A peaceful trading town of a peaceful merchant guild (faction).  One Dirk and I had joined, in fact.  Of all the fiefs in all of Calradia, she had to walk into mine.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 19, 2015, 05:42:29 am
Idk, I spoke to Thalion, he's been sick and not taking care of strat stuff for the past couple days... so yeah.

And we deposited gear since blue may or may not have been left defenseless, only seemed fair to give him a fighting chance.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Built on February 19, 2015, 05:53:41 am
Allow me to clarify that it was concluded by Finnian, the actual leader of the wardens that we are going to WAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Was amusing
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 19, 2015, 06:00:41 am
Its the seat of the North. Virgin went to go and claim the land of her birth after the fall of the Kingdom of the North. And I wouldn't call them "peaceful". Blue threatened Camulos to try to intimidate him into giving all his fiefs.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Talanarsis on February 19, 2015, 06:09:54 am
Kinda curious why you attacked Curaw.  A peaceful trading town of a peaceful merchant guild (faction).  One Dirk and I had joined, in fact.  Of all the fiefs in all of Calradia, she had to walk into mine.

I went there looking for a room full of diamonds, but you were the only diamond I found
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Taser on February 19, 2015, 06:38:06 am
"Sire, a message for you."

Taser stirred from his bed.. "Five more minutes..."

"Sire.. it- its urgent." the messenger stammered. "Fine, give it here you cur. Stirring me from my beauty rest..." Taser mumbled. He grabbed it and started reading..

"To war! We must keep all eyes upon the north. For many things are unknown to those not among our council..

(click to show/hide)

So bring up all men, all reserves and be ready. The war has only just begun.


P.S. Taser please remember to bring your donkeys. We must have least 10 asses per man (no homo)."

A brief smile crossed Taser's face before reverting to a grim state.

"We've barely just ended a war and we go forth into a new one. Where are the blasted ships when you need them?," he said with a sigh. "At least Ned's dead...," Taser mused," that man was fearsome and would probably rally enough bannermen to his side that we'd be left with scarcely enough to man a pantry let alone a garrison."

Taser ringed his bell and his french maid came in ready to start the daily routine. "Not today I'm afraid. Send for my steward and raise a levy. We're bound to need it soon. Oh and.. get me a stuffed roll will you? I'm starving."
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 19, 2015, 09:01:39 am
(click to show/hide)

Nifty, thanks pal.


Its [Curaw is] the seat of the North.

Seat of the north my arse! Sargoth is the capital of the Nords in native, and it is actually modeled to look like a viking village/town/city... the true capital of the north if there ever was one!
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Lethwin Far Seeker on February 19, 2015, 12:08:04 pm
Mae Govannen lords of Calradia.

Thoroughly pleased to see you guys still have will enough to read this stuff.  Radsvids declaration was poetic but there seems to be some confusion as to the decision to declare war on the Starks.  So I'm hopefully going to clarify.

The principal cassus belli is that the Starks have now twice made aggression on our allies.  They first attacked the Squids who were (by Squids I mean MIND CALAMARI) helping us in our war against Bryggan's Empire.  This was said to be an accident so we didn't respond harshly- though it was sort of a wedding crasher.  More recently the Starks marched an army through our lands and attacked Blue in Curaw.  Curaw is in some sort of client state agreement with us.  Blue is independent in governance but is offering some trade benefits in exchange for military protection.  Thus we intervened and helped defend Curaw as the agreement dictates.  Following this attack, Tristan was sighted with a second army right on our doorstep.  His intentions were unknown but given the circumstances we were not willing to risk another attack that would put us at a disadvantage (Rostam's reinforcement of Curaw was a close thing I hear).  The majority of Mithrim's council voted in favour of declaring war due to there being little hope of sustaining peace and to address the attacks on our allies leaving me without reluctance in declaring war.

Whether the Stark's radical expansionism is a true threat to the North is undetermined and thus Taser and the HoC are not obligated to take part.  Thats right Bryggan, The Warden's are a confederation, not an empire.  Mithrim in reality only holds a small portion of the strat map. 

We hope that the end result of this will be removing the Starks from our borders and securing our selves against their vandalism.  We are not pursuing a total wipe out or a large scale land grab. 

Hope that clears things up and I hope to see you on the field soon!

Signed and sealed,

Finnian Tiercel, Lord Warden of the Wardens of the North and King of Mithrim



EDIT:  I see you guys have attacked some HoC villages....   :3    HAVE FUN WITH BONESAW
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Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 19, 2015, 02:20:02 pm
Following this attack, Tristan was sighted with a second army right on our doorstep.  His intentions were unknown but given the circumstances we were not willing to risk another attack that would put us at a disadvantage (Rostam's reinforcement of Curaw was a close thing I hear). 
You attacked me literally as I was leaving your guys land. Try and rationalize it as you will, but it was fairly obvious I was leaving. Also you could haveve just as easily messaged me(I'm friends with you, Thalion, Jona, JayJrod, Finian, Bonesaw, etc on steam or on the forums). I was forbidden from attacking you anyways as we had treaties(despite your constant threats to the Queen and my fellow bannermen).
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EDIT:  I see you guys have attacked some HoC villages....   :3    HAVE FUN WITH BONESAW
(click to show/hide)

Yeah believe it or not, when you declared war on us we decided to actually fight back. Not a huge shocker IMO. I'm sure you'll attack some of our fiefs as well.


I think the real sketchy thing is why WOTN are declaring war on us AFTER they gave us the troops to attack Curaw with, and then after a good chunk of them were mercing for us switch sides to help defend mere hours before the battle begins. For those who speak so much about honor and vandalism you seem to have little of the former and do much of the latter.


EDIT:
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Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Sharpe on February 19, 2015, 02:30:00 pm
Can someone please explain to Sharpe what is going on, Sharpe is as lost, well, as lost an idiot stumbling through the encyclopedia.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 19, 2015, 02:42:32 pm
Here's a chronological recount from Tristan(warning may be wrong, I am known for being kind of a retard):
1. I attacked New Ahmerrad because I thought Squids were dead and wanted a city
2. MIND_CALAMARI was apparently not dead so he came and bopped my army's booty then attacked my city, which i successfully defended.
3. After months(literally) of trying to get Thalion to respond to marriage proposals we decided to attempt to ally with KOTN since Bryggan would actually talk to us(and KOTN wasnt mercing against us in literally every single battle we did), we decided to switch our focus towards helping KOTN over WOTN.
4. We figured Squids were still AFK and dead and attacked them claiming a ton of their fiefs(all except Narra I believe(but also I mean really, those fiefs were doing nothing. They dont even play anymore whats the harm in letting actually active players take some fiefs))
5. Thalion told us to stop taking their fiefs and broker peace in exchange for marriage to I believe JayJrod
6. We agreed to peace with the Squids and me and Dr_Device went away from Narra and abandoned our dreams of taking it.
7. Wick was a retard and thought we were joking when we told him not to attack. He got rekt and lost his army and all of his gear. This made Thalion PO'd and he told us to exile Wick to EU or some shit.
8. Legionnaires rebelled and killed KOTN. This left Curaw open. Me and the Queen planned a campaign North to reclaim her homeland(Curaw).
9. We rode north together, with my army acting as her escort. There we went to New Yruma castle and were given 1,000 troops by JayJrod to go and take Curaw in exchange for armor and weapons for his castle.
10. The Queen besieged her home city to reclaim it. I stood guard outside the city to prevent any reinforcements from coming in. When Rostam was spotted, I was instructed not to engage him as we wanted to avoid hostilities with the Wardens.
11. JayJrod and a few other Warden members sign up for our roster early on. Things are looking well. Then a few hours before the siege starts Jay and a few others switch to defense and then all of WOTN is rostering against us as well. I was camping so I was basically out of the fight so I could only sit and watch as we were slaughtered on the walls.
12. I was told not to extract revenge on Rostam by the Queen and turned to leave the North, stopping by New Karindi village to pick up trade goods to sell back in my lands to the South.
13. JayJrod attacks me just outside New Karindi. Radsvid gives the lamest war declaration(Which wasn't even really one, it was just he heard rumors saying he heard that there might be a war coming(and I also wasn't sure it was serious or not when he posted it)). Some people posted RP stuff in the forums.



P.S. I'm stil salty
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Thalion_Menelvagor on February 19, 2015, 05:27:21 pm
First order of business, I'd someone with a penchant for chivalry I have to apologize to Not So Innocent for our Master of Coin's crude sense of humor. He is a good fellow, but spends most of his time with dwarves and bankers and as such his tongue is sharp and lacks restraint.


Secondly, - wait what? -  we gave you 1000 troops to take Curaw? *Goes back to perform faction internal audit*


Thirdly, it would have been nice if you had let us known you had designs on Curaw or some ancient homeland claim. 

Fourthly,  I told Jay he could stay on your roster because he said he would fight for y'all before he knew we had a pact with Blue. I'm not sure why he switched.  I was hiding in my sleeping bag shivering with fever most of that day and only came out to take my place on the walls for a few minutes before crawling back off try to swallow a few sips of hot broth before curling up in a fetal position in my bed again.

Fithly, honestly I forgot what all else I was going to say and my lunch break is almost over. 

Title: Re: War with the spectacular, glamorous, beautiful, God-Queen Virgin
Post by: Talanarsis on February 19, 2015, 07:39:04 pm

Thirdly, it would have been nice if you had let us known you had designs on Curaw or some ancient homeland claim. 


I'm pretty sure I told you I was planning on attacking Curaw. I guess I just thought I did or you forgot... And I hope that fever goes away! Get well soon!
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Taser on February 19, 2015, 07:45:01 pm
Whether the Stark's radical expansionism is a true threat to the North is undetermined and thus Taser and the HoC are not obligated to take part.  Thats right Bryggan, The Warden's are a confederation, not an empire.  Mithrim in reality only holds a small portion of the strat map.

While this is true, you think I'm going to stand idle while a war begins? C'mon now. Not going to let you hog all the fun.

Besides HoC is in it now, I refuse to be the sole man out.

Be ready.. taser's coming.

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Title: War on the Beavers
Post by: Talanarsis on February 19, 2015, 07:50:12 pm
While this is true, you think I'm going to stand idle while a war begins? C'mon now. Not going to let you hog all the fun.

Besides HoC is in it now, I refuse to be the sole man out.

Be ready.. taser's coming.

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Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife! And hide yo husband, cuz they be tazin' everyone up in here!
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Taser on February 19, 2015, 08:00:45 pm
Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife! And hide yo husband, because they be tazin' everyone up in here!

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Title: Re: War with the Twinks
Post by: Talanarsis on February 19, 2015, 08:15:56 pm
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If you're bringing that beast into battle i'm running!
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 19, 2015, 10:26:01 pm
Whether the Stark's radical expansionism is a true threat to the North is undetermined and thus Taser and the HoC are not obligated to take part.

Yeah, well seeing how they did take the fight to us...

In the words of mah main man Nine-Toes:

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/borderlands/images/4/48/You_Woke_The_Wrong_Dog_Aww_Yeah.ogg/revision/latest?cb=20131002072558

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 19, 2015, 10:34:31 pm
Thirdly, it would have been nice if you had let us known you had designs on Curaw or some ancient homeland claim. 

I've at least known there were plans to get it since December 2014. Its basically been the main goal of the Starks. It would've been nice if you guys had let us know there was some secret pact between you guys and the Merchants of Curaw. I did tell the Queen to post a RP thread in this forum about the siege but it didn't happen.

Yeah, well seeing how they did take the fight to us...
Yeah we are the aggressor party when you guys attacked me first. Makes sense.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 19, 2015, 10:52:52 pm
It would've been nice if you guys had let us know there was some secret pact between you guys and the Merchants of Curaw.

Most people tend to keep secrets, well... secret.  :wink:

Yeah we are the aggressor party when you guys attacked me first. Makes sense.

I didn't call you the aggressors, I acknowledge the fact that the WotN (as a faction) made the first move. However, the entities that make up our faction are still more or less independent, and the Hounds had yet to officially get involved. Can't blame you guys for not being able to know what goes on behind our closed doors... it's merely an unfortunate turn of events for you guys, is all.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Built on February 19, 2015, 11:21:04 pm
First order of business, I'd someone with a penchant for chivalry I have to apologize to Not So Innocent for our Master of Coin's crude sense of humor. He is a good fellow, but spends most of his time with dwarves and bankers and as such his tongue is sharp and lacks restraint.


  I was hiding in my sleeping bag shivering with fever most of that day and only came out to take my place on the walls for a few minutes before crawling back off try to swallow a few sips of hot broth before curling up in a fetal position in my bed again.

Fithly, honestly I forgot what all else I was going to say and my lunch break is almost over.

Sorry to hear about the fever, get well. Yes my tongue lacks restraint because once you take the heel off a beast it never wants to be under it again.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Lethwin Far Seeker on February 19, 2015, 11:21:09 pm
I've at least known there were plans to get it since December 2014. Its basically been the main goal of the Starks. It would've been nice if you guys had let us know there was some secret pact between you guys and the Merchants of Curaw. I did tell the Queen to post a RP thread in this forum about the siege but it didn't happen.
Yeah we are the aggressor party when you guys attacked me first. Makes sense.

I've at least known there were plans to establish Blue in Curaw with defense\trade pact since James pulled another James.

I did tell the Viceroy to post an RP threat in this forum about the pact but it didn't happen.

Yeah we are the aggressor party when you guys attacked our allies first.  Makes sense.

(Accident or not, effect is the same.  The Charge of the Light Brigade was an accident too yet the Russians didn't lower their guns and politely wave)
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Lord Camulos on February 19, 2015, 11:34:17 pm
Its the seat of the North. Virgin went to go and claim the land of her birth after the fall of the Kingdom of the North. And I wouldn't call them "peaceful". Blue threatened Camulos to try to intimidate him into giving all his fiefs.

I want all to know I was not told first hand of this. I was warned by two other Lords by this; I did confront Blue and he did tell me he only wanted to purchase my fiefs; but I don't know how true that is any more, since reading that he had a pact with the wardens and now the wardens are attacking the Starks. who is on who's side here; People who I thought where on side switch sides.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Lord Camulos on February 19, 2015, 11:40:18 pm
we can stop all these wars if only we had jobs :lol:
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Lethwin Far Seeker on February 19, 2015, 11:56:14 pm
we can stop all these wars if only we had jobs :lol:

I have a job  :(

So does Thalion and Tristan I hear.  We could stop all these wars if weren't all weird individuals intent on creating a simulation of medieval politics, warfare, and combat. We could stop all these wars but then we wouldn't be the almighty diviners of time zealously wielding dots and lines to achieve what is best in life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkSFIWzi7aA
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 20, 2015, 12:25:29 am
I am pretty sure most of us have jobs, albeit most likely only part-time ones since we're for the most part students, I reckon. That said, being a student, having a part-time job, and actively looking for full-time employment come summer (like I am) probably amounts to more time than a regular 9-5 job would. So no, I don't think getting jobs is the problem here. It's being severe nerds, and that cannot be cured. Besides, better to have wars 24/7 than to have none at all. You want strat to die?
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Lord Camulos on February 20, 2015, 01:28:26 am
you must of not known  what I was referring to when the state department said if only Isis had jobs they would not fight.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Talanarsis on February 20, 2015, 01:59:55 am
you must of not known  what I was referring to when the state department said if only Isis had jobs they would not fight.

I knew what you were talking about! Nice to know someone else watches the news
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on February 20, 2015, 07:00:10 am
I knew what you were talking about! Nice to know someone else watches the news

But when I mentioned the Isis that collected her husband's body parts and brought him back to life, you had no idea.  But still, I may have left my diamonds and riches in Curaw, but I finally found the one true treasure that gives meaning to my virtual life.

But this looks like a border skirmish that escalated into a war due to lack of communications.  NOT VERY MEDIEVAL AT ALL, GENTS!!!  Oh, wait...  totally medieval.

But, I feel I must leave my peaceful trading faction and support the underdogs (sorry Blue).  I was never comfortable being the overdog- was never my style.

BUT ALL I ASK IS PLEASE PEOPLE, SUPPORT THIS WAR!!!  We understand that most of you are allied to the Warden Empire*.  But, if you use a pseudonym to keep battles decent, we'll be quiet.  Plus you have the added bonus of hanging with some of the coolest Strat players in history.

(click to show/hide)

*to keep things even, and keep the precious, precious Xp going, come to our roster and use a pseudonym.  We'll keep quiet as long as we have awesome battles.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 20, 2015, 07:40:01 am
We had some great, fun fights tonight, guys! Looking forwards to more in the future. Pretty even rosters and such, was a good time.


That said... now you know how we Hounds defend! Currahee!

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Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 20, 2015, 07:51:33 am
This is basically how I imagine the Warden of the North war council went down on deciding whether or not to attack me:
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Talanarsis on February 20, 2015, 08:37:48 am
This is basically how I imagine the Warden of the North war council went down on deciding whether or not to attack me:
(click to show/hide)

Well that made me laugh more than it should have...
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: njames89 on February 20, 2015, 06:23:00 pm
I've at least known there were plans to establish Blue in Curaw with defense\trade pact since James pulled another James.

Oh fuck off you cunt
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Lethwin Far Seeker on February 20, 2015, 06:49:42 pm
This is basically how I imagine the Warden of the North war council went down on deciding whether or not to attack me:

Yeah its called a preemptive strike.  Its what you do when events leading up to the present (attacks on Squids and Curaw) give you cause to believe that something will happen (another attack) and you act to prevent predicted event (you using that army to attack something else).  I'm sorry your army got wiped in this time of abysmal population and I am even more sorry that you weren't present for your battle.  Much is risked in war.

Bryggan, I've already specified how and why we are not an empire.  As a former emperor or "High King" you mock your self by falsely accusing us of being such.  For other's sake I will again clarify that we are a confederation or union of factions, namely Mithrim, HoC, and Taser (Mind Calamari?).  Unlike your former empire we do not have a centralized government.  Compare to the European Union. 
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: CALAMARI on February 20, 2015, 07:09:08 pm
Estoc, Great Sword, and Broad One Handed Battle Axe; all +3 and 30% off @ New Slezkh.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 20, 2015, 11:46:41 pm
Okay, really guys... raiding? Raids are what you do to kill off strat. There is literally no purpose behind raiding (unless you are an EU-level play-to-win tryhard, and just look how fun their strat is... some of their active players came to NA), and it simply isn't advisable in this stage of strat. You take the gear out of the village, the village gets attacked the next night, the village is taken since defense has no gear... and... what is gained? Another pixel fief for you guys? Are we really having a war here to get as many pixel points as possible, or are we fighting to have some fun battles? We minds well leverage the free population that fiefs provide us to get some fights going since producing tickets is hard for both sides here.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 21, 2015, 12:37:57 am
Okay, really guys... raiding? Raids are what you do to kill off strat. There is literally no purpose behind raiding (unless you are an EU-level play-to-win tryhard, and just look how fun their strat is... some of their active players came to NA), and it simply isn't advisable in this stage of strat. You take the gear out of the village, the village gets attacked the next night, the village is taken since defense has no gear... and... what is gained? Another pixel fief for you guys? Are we really having a war here to get as many pixel points as possible, or are we fighting to have some fun battles? We minds well leverage the free population that fiefs provide us to get some fights going since producing tickets is hard for both sides here.

I just woke up, and changed it to a siege(Woke up just in time to do it too). DaBirds(UKillMe or whatever his forum name is) and the Queen can get PO'd at me if he wants. Fuck raiding. If we start raiding you guys you'll start raiding us and then no one will have fun.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 21, 2015, 12:54:37 am
Much appreciated, and glad that we're on the same page. Raiding will make strat get real nasty real quick.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Taser on February 21, 2015, 04:03:01 am
I just woke up, and changed it to a siege(Woke up just in time to do it too). DaBirds(UKillMe or whatever his forum name is) and the Queen can get PO'd at me if he wants. Fuck raiding. If we start raiding you guys you'll start raiding us and then no one will have fun.

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Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on February 21, 2015, 08:13:51 am
Bryggan, I've already specified how and why we are not an empire.  As a former emperor or "High King" you mock your self by falsely accusing us of being such.  For other's sake I will again clarify that we are a confederation or union of factions, namely Mithrim, HoC, and Taser (Mind Calamari?).  Unlike your former empire we do not have a centralized government.  Compare to the European Union.

Well, I was obviously using rhetoric.  I know your RP isn't imperial, but I will continue to imply it for propaganda purposes.  And I should add that the Romans were a republic when they started their empire.  When someone was dangerous, they would attack and occupy.  Also, any one who needed their protection started off as a 'friend and ally', but later became a subject state.

So the democrats of Rome had an empire.  An empire is not such a bad thing.  I really enjoyed mine, but we did not have a centralized government.  In fact, there was no control at all.  I was just a High King among the kings, and could not order people about.  i asked favours and kissed a lot of ass.  My job was to keep the peace between the kingdoms (which I failed utterly at), but I could not order people about unless I had permission from their monarch.

But you eschew the Roman Imperial comparison. There are other examples in history.The Mukden incident, when the Japanese attacked China for their attack on a railway- a purely defensive move... oh, wait, the Japanese had an emporer then!  I guess there was the time the Germans attacked Czechoslovakia cuz the Czeckz and Slovaks were about to kill the Sudentland Germans.  A purely defensive move, and I think we all applaud it.

But yet I, lover of freedom and peace, see the Wardens steamroll all the lesser factions, either through battle or forcing them to be client states (yeah, you're free, but trade for us and give us money and don't raise armies), I just feel I cannot stand still and watch.

As you all know, I have always been a supporter of the 'trade simulator' envisioned by our most holy devs.  Yet some individuals feel the need to destroy that dream by having battles.  As i weep thinking of how low Strat has become, I am also inspired.  To achieve our dream of trade simulator, we must attack the filthy, evil, scoundrelly, smelly Wardens and deny them their evil plan of total authoritarian control.

As anyone who knows me knows, I hate to  fight.  But to stop this oppression, I will take up arms!  And I invite you all to join me in this bloody crusade!!!!
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 21, 2015, 11:39:28 pm
1. What's happening?

Not even I know... there's some weird shenanigans, and definitely some witchcraft going on. Like shit... time travel is now a feature?!?

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Anyone else see that on the top of their archived NA battle list? The details of that battle make it even weirder... it shows that no one showed up, yet defenders lost all their troops, attackers lost none, and yet... defense won. LOGIC.

2. How can i profit from this?

Attack things. Attack all the things.



And can we please try and avoid all these early morning battles and try and keep it all more or less in primetime? 4:45pm was alright for today, since it was a weekend, though definitely not preferable. But 7:45am?  :?
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Talanarsis on February 22, 2015, 12:03:45 am
Not even I know... there's some weird shenanigans, and definitely some witchcraft going on. Like shit... time travel is now a feature?!?

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Damn, he noticed it... Alright boys, throw the Naz! scientists in the truck and get that time machine out of here!
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 22, 2015, 01:18:17 am
Shit they know about our time traveling army. We better attack their fiefs with it in the future before they figure out how to kill it in the past by finding out where it'll be!

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 22, 2015, 01:39:19 am
...nighttime settings set for primetime?  :cry:

http://c-rpg.net/index.php?page=strategusbattlesupcoming#!?page=strategusinfobattledetail&id=3758
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 22, 2015, 02:06:13 am
At least its only at midnight? I'll message him about changing it though. That is kind of lame to have night time set to NA prime time.


Edit: Just remember the east coast is a thing
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 22, 2015, 02:28:54 am
Yeah... I'm east coast and we attacked at 6:30-7pm. Battle got postponed to 3am. :?
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on February 26, 2015, 10:41:20 am
You scoundrels!!!

Yes, you pigs in wolf's clothing!  In typical Strat fashion, the lines have been drawn.  To quote some leader of some country at some time, "Those who are not for us are against us."

That sort of bro-coding annoys us to no end.  So hear this!  All of the 13 Knights will support whoever we deem to be the underdog (except Dirk- he's stuck in camp again, and is quite happy to trade for Blue and his neutral faction to ensure a strong, defendable trading simulating group.
Which is all good for them, but my blood boils at the thought of the Wardens crushing everyone they think that they may stand in their way!  I am putting a call out for support against the tyrannical rule of these self righteous low lifes! (this is for propaganda purposes only; I personally like Finnian, Thalion and Rostham (and probably the rest) and 'm sure we'd be bffs if we lived closer together- but that's not the point- I am trying to incite you to war!).  Um, where was I?  Oh yeah- scoundrelly, lousy, evil-minded, grasping, belligerent A-holes.  And by A, I mean Asgard, in which they create a hole to send our ticks to Asgard.

So, all you licentious dick for brains, man up, sharpen your weapons, and stand in the shieldwall of justice! (just kidding, we stopped making people sit in shieldwalls a long time ago.  A Euro tactic, where they like everything neat and ordered.  you sit there, get shot at by arrows, and when the first shield breaks due to range (about the same time most NAers fall asleep), you charge.  And then everyone hacks til everyone is dead, then you do it again.

BUT!  Neither I or the Wardens insisted on such tactics.  We both like guys with initiative (you've been playing NA1 forever, you know what to do), wither flanking, or chasing for getting chased (a good way to tie up four of the enemy- they love to chase peasannts).  But go in TS so we have a slight idea of what you are doing- and can give the gentle reminder that you are being stupid- which happens to us all battle raged individuals sometimes.

So, when I go to war (which I will do after some shopping), I beg and plead of you to keep the rosters even.  AS much as you hate me or love the Wardens, remember your first love- a good battle.  And i know on both sides we had some glorious defeats, i which we lost, but the battle itself was so epci it made everyone happy.  We also remember the gankings, in which it was as miserable for the winner as it was the loser.

So, even though an oath made me quit; I'll break that oath if we have decent roster support.  And I'm sure our honourable, worthy, wonderful (oops, propaganda) nasty, Bolshevik, back-stabbing enemies would agree on this.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 26, 2015, 11:33:39 am
Hello, yes, I am the underdog please, thank you

All hail the mighty Empire!
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 26, 2015, 06:50:58 pm
Oh yeah, might have to rename faction, since that gold armour came out I couldn't resist looming the full set to +3 in Uxhaul (all at -20%+ discount, only 5% tax buy now!), so now long-story short I now have a ton of pimped out golden plate which doesn't really fit the Empire theme.

But... I can't wear plate now!  :(
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on February 26, 2015, 07:08:13 pm
Do I look like a strength crutch to you?  :lol:













<------- [See description]
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Balikar on February 27, 2015, 03:41:16 pm
Do I look like a strength crutch to you? 

Do you REALLY want to know what you look like?  I kid, I kid..
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on February 27, 2015, 05:23:52 pm
Any cav out there with 22 strength?  I have a lot of great lances I can't use :(
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Dutchydave on February 28, 2015, 09:13:22 am
I got to say that all these battles just attacking pop of villages is so boring.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on February 28, 2015, 09:41:27 am
I got to say that all these battles just attacking pop of villages is so boring.

The war is just in its early stages, I'm sure there will be bigger battles to come. I myself just got back to NA from my all-expense-paid vacation to EU(thanks for that JayJrod, the scenery was lovely and the locals were great) and am working on rebuilding my army. There will probably be bigger battles in the weeks to come once everyones armies are reoutfitted from the patch and things get organized.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on February 28, 2015, 04:38:12 pm
I got to say that all these battles just attacking pop of villages is so boring.

If only there was some kingdom with a lot of money, men and gear that would get involved...  You know, you could really mess things up and attack both sides.  A little threesome would be nice.  Plus rosters would be interesting- one battle you're fighting a guy, the next you are fighting beside him.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: njames89 on February 28, 2015, 06:25:18 pm
lol Bryggan. Well played.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on March 01, 2015, 05:53:58 am
I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! :'(
We're all relying on you Heskey.  Turn this Bullshit around, or go die:( :( :(* :( :(
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on March 05, 2015, 04:33:10 am
Attacked while I'm at work again. Gdi. Good thing I just put a bunch of gear in there.

Edit:
Quote
Mithrim forces are preparing an assault on a stronghold of the Stark Insurgency. We are well equipped and ready for this battle, despite Stark forces seeking to avoid battle via nighttime settings

You guys do know the point of night time settings is so you can avoid times where you can't make battles right? I set mine from 12pm to 8pm PST. Thats the time I can't make it, its not "trying to avoid battles" its "making it so I can actually attend the defenses of my army/fiefs". If I wanted to avoid battles I would have set them from 4pm to 12am, making it 3am your guys time.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Dr_Device on March 05, 2015, 04:48:42 am
Quote
[...] despite Stark forces seeking to avoid battle via nighttime settings
Classy.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on March 05, 2015, 06:44:59 am
Yeah, I'm not sure who put that there... maybe someone who now can't make it since it's too late for them? (I'm not sure how long the attack was actually delayed). It's just tricky to balance this out, seeing how NA is split over 4 timezones. While 8pm is perfectly reasonable for you guys on the west coast, for us on the east coast a battle that may go on for a while (one can hope we can get a good fight) starting at 11pm is a bit of a nuisance. Being the night owl that I am, 11pm doesn't bother me much, but there are some who are quite the opposite.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Taser on March 05, 2015, 06:55:03 am
But Jona.. West coast best coast.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on March 05, 2015, 07:37:18 am
Yeah, I'm not sure who put that there... maybe someone who now can't make it since it's too late for them? (I'm not sure how long the attack was actually delayed). It's just tricky to balance this out, seeing how NA is split over 4 timezones. While 8pm is perfectly reasonable for you guys on the west coast, for us on the east coast a battle that may go on for a while (one can hope we can get a good fight) starting at 11pm is a bit of a nuisance. Being the night owl that I am, 11pm doesn't bother me much, but there are some who are quite the opposite.
Judging from when people starting hiring mercs in the Journal, it was only delayed an hour.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: StonedSteel on March 05, 2015, 09:14:20 pm
But Jona.. West coast best coast.

OYE!!!

EAST COAST BEAST COAST BEST COAST U FUCKIN WEST HOS ARE LESBOS U WAN STEP YO YOU'LL GET REKT BRO LETS GO!!!

Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Talanarsis on March 06, 2015, 02:25:05 am
OYE!!!

EAST COAST BEAST COAST BEST COAST U FUCKIN WEST HOS ARE LESBOS U WAN STEP YO YOU'LL GET REKT BRO LETS GO!!!

Even though I live on the west coast myself, I agree with this statement.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Sharpe on March 06, 2015, 04:35:28 am
It doesn't matter what coast you live on, you're a motherfucking American, start fucking acting like it.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Thalion_Menelvagor on March 07, 2015, 12:05:43 am
I actually put that briefing on there because I had work in the morning on friday (and i'm on eastern time) and was grumpy about having to stay up late and get up early.


If was a fun battle though, more like a strat fight should be. 
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on March 07, 2015, 08:42:10 am
A Plea from Tristan of Erzoth

If you're in House Stark/Wardens of the North please consider your night time settings. If both sides start fucking with their settings to late night/early morning to screw with each other(8am east coast would be 5am West, 10pm West is 1am east, etc). Try not to set them like an asshole, and only use them to block out times you can't make on a DAILY basis and please try not to block out prime time. 

Thanks
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on March 07, 2015, 12:03:16 pm
Here's a handy guide HESKEYTIME!

STEP 1:
(click to show/hide)

STEP 2:
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on March 09, 2015, 06:00:26 am
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(click to show/hide)

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Jona on March 09, 2015, 08:12:12 am

Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Lord Camulos on March 09, 2015, 12:57:57 pm
lol that was funny Jona
Title: Surrender of the Whore
Post by: Talanarsis on March 10, 2015, 04:53:39 am
House Stark Surrenders to the Wardens of The North

   Not even a month has past since the Wardens of The North declared war on House Stark, and we've already lost our stomach for war. When I attacked Curaw I had no idea they were in league with the Wardens. I foolishly charged in head first and paid the price. Since then, we have lost nearly every battle with them due to their large numbers and elite troops. I have decided enough is enough. I wish to end all hostilities between both of our great factions, and bring peace to Calradia. I am prepared to relinquish my claim on Curaw for peace.

Not so Innocent Virgin,
Queen of the North,
Mother of flagons,
Cutter of manhoods
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on March 10, 2015, 05:00:41 am
I apologize for trying to stand against the Wardens.  They have showed their might, crushing all opposition.  Their mercs makes numbers meaningless, and we now know if we attack the with a 1000 shiny against 200 heavily armed they will win.

So, I beg all of you independant factions, offer vassalage.  If you don't, they will lend you troops, but give your enemies gear.  Then they will declare war, and you cannot win.

I say this as the one time Winter King, the High King of the North.  I came with the sword out of nowhere, a noob with a dream.  But I was crushed due to their superior tactics.  I tried and I failed and now I just dream of trading and making money. Under a Warden peace.  Accept them as you overlords, cuz there is no bloody way you'll beat them on the battlefield.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on March 10, 2015, 05:02:52 am
There is no shame in surrendering when all hope is lost.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: StonedSteel on March 10, 2015, 05:21:02 am
There is no shame in surrendering when all hope is lost.

wait wot?

YES THERE IS!!!

BRYGGAN!!! U HAVE TO BELIEVE!!!! BEL>.....IEVE!!!!

now redouble your fucking efforts and wipe those fucks out.

YOU CAN DO IT! NOW DOEEEEEEEEEEEET!
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Dutchydave on March 10, 2015, 05:22:30 am
Peace is only a dream
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on March 10, 2015, 05:35:40 am
wait wot?

Blah blah blah

Says the man who only rostered for us once, and that was an accident.  And so many others that would not roster for us cuz we sullied our hands by fighting with Acre.  Whom, oddly enough, never rostered for us before that because i had fought for the Squids.

The lines are drawn, the bro-codes made.  Some people have the right rosters, and others don't.

"“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
    says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
    Everything is meaningless.”
3 What do people gain from all their labors
    at which they toil under the sun?
4 Generations come and generations go,
    but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises and the sun sets,
    and hurries back to where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
    and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
    ever returning on its course."
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Dutchydave on March 10, 2015, 05:42:03 am
The lines are drawn, the bro-codes made.  Some people have the right rosters, and others don't.

I think you will find that is a false statement, rumour has it that Wardens will merc either side of the pools now they are neutral.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Bryggan on March 10, 2015, 05:51:51 am
That would be awesome... but if the Wardens are neutral, who's gonna fight?  There is only two factions with men and money..
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on March 10, 2015, 06:30:15 am
News of our surrender reached my ears although I was far off in EU. Disgusted, I leaned to the side and spat on the ground.
"These Wardens wont stop until they control everything. First they use treachery to cause the fall of the Kingdom of the North, then they attack us with little provocation and no warning." I muttered to my few bannermen that had managed to survive our last encounter with them.
"Sir, is this truly the end? We can't let them get the last laugh!" young Furnavi shouted, "We must continue fighting! Never falter, thats always been our motto!"
I leaned back in my saddle, looking up at the sun overhead. Many thoughts raced through my mind. What will Calradia be like, with every faction firmly under the Wardens thumb? Surely the few who remained "neutral" or are "friends" will be taken under their fold completely. After the fall of House Stark only Acre really remains by itself.
"We must not be rash and act quickly. We will get back to the glorious lands of NA and see the situation ourselves. Only then we will act." I said after a few long moments of consideration.
I turned my rouncey to the rest and rode off, my pace slowed by a feeling of looming despair.

"This isn't the end, only the beginning"

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Taser on March 10, 2015, 09:35:04 am
Well was an.. interesting war while it lasted. I did shit all on the strat map for this war.

But we got this out of the war, what little we did.

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(click to show/hide)


So.. mission accomplished.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Sharpe on March 10, 2015, 11:28:58 am
]Good war guys, you managed to beat a bunch of strat noobs. I'm sure you're all very proud of yourselves. Be sure to congratulate Jona and JayJrod for carrying your guys rosters for most of the battles.

You seem a bit edgy. I mean come on you had hardened strat veterans of Acre at your command.
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Dutchydave on March 10, 2015, 11:40:50 am
Well was an.. interesting war while it lasted. I did shit all on the strat map for this war.

But we got this out of the war, what little we did.


So.. mission accomplished.

Is Taser taking claims to Acre Vassal?
Title: Re: Surrender of the Whore
Post by: Lethwin Far Seeker on March 10, 2015, 11:26:45 pm
House Stark Surrenders to the Wardens of The North

   Not even a month has past since the Wardens of The North declared war on House Stark, and we've already lost our stomach for war. When I attacked Curaw I had no idea they were in league with the Wardens. I foolishly charged in head first and paid the price. Since then, we have lost nearly every battle with them due to their large numbers and elite troops. I have decided enough is enough. I wish to end all hostilities between both of our great factions, and bring peace to Calradia. I am prepared to relinquish my claim on Curaw for peace.

Not so Innocent Virgin,
Queen of the North,
Mother of flagons,
Cutter of manhoods
`

Well said Talanarsis.  On behalf of Mithrim and the states within the confederation known as the Warden's of the North, I happily accept the surrender of the Starks.  The circumstances that led to this war were riddled with failures in communication and now many condemn the actions of me and my people, but we did what we needed to do to fulfill our oaths and it is done.  There will be no reparations demanded of the Starks and no grudges will be held.  Furthermore I understand that this war has made life difficult for some of Calradia's merchants, and I am offering 1000 trade goods to any of the renowned traders who visit Ismirala Castle to help them rebuild their fortunes.

Finnian Tiercel
Lord Warden of the North and King of Mithrim
Title: Re: War with the Whore
Post by: Taser on March 11, 2015, 12:14:58 am
Is Taser taking claims to Acre Vassal?

Tasa Clan takes no claim to Acre. For now I'll retire to my castle and recharge.

If things start up again, I'll be sure to try out for the next war. Or the current one with you and Acre. Atm, I'm just going to talk to my soldiers and tell them to make shit up when they get back to their families so my actual war contribution of zilch is covered and people don't think me and the soldiers went on a nice trip across Calradia. Even though we did and took some nice pictures as well. I had many painters working round the clock. That might have contributed to my lack of contribution but at least its well documented.