cRPG

cRPG => General Discussion => Topic started by: Tzar on April 15, 2012, 05:32:52 pm

Title: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tzar on April 15, 2012, 05:32:52 pm
Ill start.  :lol:

1. Pikes an spears was used as close range assault weapons.
2. Arabian horses could move around like a go cart.
3. If weapons had a wooden shaft an where in the polearm category they worked just like a modern day taser gun.
4. It rained 24/7
5. Archery where close range support weapons an used like shotguns
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Fartface on April 15, 2012, 05:34:45 pm
1. lancers are like frogs and infantry are flys.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Arn_Magnusson on April 15, 2012, 05:36:47 pm
1. The medieval society was homopfobic.
2. If you'd like to be good 2h, you need to learn dancing salsa, jife etc.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tyr_ on April 15, 2012, 05:38:46 pm
Do not forget that a completely armored tincan is able to hunt down light armored archers
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tomas_of_Miles on April 15, 2012, 05:41:26 pm
It's really easy to make a catapult, you just need some wood and some more wood and chuck it together, bish bash bosh, catapult.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Prpavi on April 15, 2012, 05:42:32 pm
Usain Bolt aint got shit on medieval archers.
Everybody could run forever.
Huge poleaxes and swords were actually feather light and you could swing them around forever.
If you come out of your castle 15 seconds late a Hun will mow you down with an undefendable attack.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Rebelyell on April 15, 2012, 05:43:02 pm
really can someone do something with lolstabs?????

just reduce rotation on stab and ability to fatst moving pikes up and down
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: bosco on April 15, 2012, 05:44:13 pm
- Peasant women could easily block two-handed overhead attacks by plated knights, using only their wooden spoons, and were therefore used as front line infantry by most commanders
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Fartface on April 15, 2012, 05:46:48 pm
samoerai´s ganged up with ninja , templars , huns , eastern soldiers , northern soldiers. And they became an undefeatable force.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tomas_of_Miles on April 15, 2012, 05:47:09 pm
Cross dressing was popular in the early medieval times, but was outlawed on pain of death for reasons unknown in the later era.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: XyNox on April 15, 2012, 05:47:38 pm
1. Warriors approached the battlefield nude every now and then
2. Engineers with no arms in hand were instantly killed and banned from the battlefield by god himself
3. Several arrow, axes and spears sticking out of your body was no reason to stop fighting with full efficiency
4. Ramming a 3m pike through someones head was in no way lethal
5. Shields were high powered magnets back then.
6. Under some circumstanses a couched lance to the arm will kill you instantly, while a sword blow to the naked head can be survived
7. Horses feel no pain, they are either alive or dead
8. In medievil times men could only hold their breath for 20 seconds
9. A horseman in full armor riding a plated charger and carrying a crossbow can compete with a M1A2 battletank
10. Once arrived at the battleground there was only one strategic option available: charge straight forward
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: bosco on April 15, 2012, 05:48:00 pm
- The use of battering rams during sieges is an invention of historical revisionists. In reality, attackers simply bashed down any gates using their melee weapons.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Vote on April 15, 2012, 05:48:59 pm
Shields are thin than your body.
1h weapons miss or glance at close range.
Ranged used a crosshair.
Block with wooden weapons (poleaxe...) a sword.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tomas_of_Miles on April 15, 2012, 05:49:30 pm
Mongolians were a mighty force and swept across the world with their army. Oh wait...
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Kyza on April 15, 2012, 05:50:39 pm
Crossbows were easily hand-cranked on horse back, completely nullifying the need to wear armor. One horse archer would have transformed the 100 year war to a war that was still going 1000 years later because flags didn't spawn.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Herkkutatti on April 15, 2012, 05:51:57 pm
Bows had sniper rifle accuracy
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Brrrak on April 15, 2012, 06:04:09 pm
Going to war with many people involved was a great pain, as there would always be one asshole keeping everyone from respawning so the war could be fought over again.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Kafein on April 15, 2012, 06:04:39 pm
Quote from: Tzar on April 15, 2012, 05:32:52 pm
2. Arabian horses could move around like a go cart.

But it is still worth noting that humans, unlike horses, had quantum singularity devices planted in their bottom, reducing the weight of their body to 10g at will. This forced horse breeders to emphazise on maneuver, although despite their efforts even the best horse couldn't remotely compete with the fattest soldier with the heaviest armor on the battlefield in terms of agility. This technology has long since been forgotten though.

It is also interesting that most warriors weren't interested in using any armor heavier than mail, despite being financially able to. Bows could reliably hit and pierce plate armor at 50m, so the best protection actually was mobility.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Adamar on April 15, 2012, 06:05:17 pm
Taking an arrow to the chest would under no circunstances kill you.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: JennaHaze on April 15, 2012, 06:08:16 pm
God can nerf people
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Kafein on April 15, 2012, 06:12:05 pm
Quote from: Brrrak on April 15, 2012, 06:04:09 pm
Going to war with many people involved was a great pain, as there would always be one asshole keeping everyone from respawning so the war could be fought over again.

lmao

Quote from: Adamar on April 15, 2012, 06:05:17 pm
Taking an arrow to the chest would under no circunstances kill you.

It still does not. Depending on the spot you were hit you die let's say 10 minutes later out of blood loss (ofc. if a critical zone is hit you can be neutralized immediately).
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Laufknoten on April 15, 2012, 06:14:59 pm
Everyone used danish swords and russian armors.
People had infinite stamina.
Men were men, women were men and children didn't exist.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: kinngrimm on April 15, 2012, 06:16:09 pm
- all shields were built to break as easy and soon as possible (only increasing your agility enables you to increase your shield durability), thats why you cant see any shields in any museum nowadays which had been in battle, they are all broken
- even a broken weapon can be used to attack or block stuff and breaking only happens after the fight is done like age of a century comes over them in an instance
- some weapons hit you while you saw them not scratching you(=magical weapons here called ghost weapons also)
- when people moved defensively backwards while fighting they were able to hit faster then the dude driving them furisly backwards
- female warriors really enjoyed pain  :lol:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Adamar on April 15, 2012, 06:19:53 pm
Kafein, this isn't a discussion thread, but as far as the chest goes, taking an arrow to the lungs, heart, livor at least would put a guy down, not to mention the movement limitations you'd get from pinned tendons anywhere in the body. Well, apparently that didn't happen...
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Vote on April 15, 2012, 06:26:42 pm
Medieval Combat was like that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic4PQ-tnwJw
 8-)




Quote from: Adamar on April 15, 2012, 06:19:53 pm
Kafein, this isn't a discussion thread, but as far as the chest goes, taking an arrow to the lungs, heart, livor at least would put a guy down, not to mention the movement limitations you'd get from pinned tendons anywhere in the body. Well, apparently that didn't happen...

An arrow from some range could not penetrate padded coat with mail.
Quote
50lbs, 15 feet: the maille/gambeson stopped the arrows, causing them to rebound from the target. Some of the links were bent, one was broken.

50lbs, 20 yards: the maille/gambeson stopped the arrows, causing them to rebound from the target. No damage to the links at all.

70lbs, 15 feet: 2 out of three arrows pierced the maille/gambeson and imbedded themselves in the pell. The third arrow broke two links but bounced off, stopped by the gambeson underneath.
http://www.myarmoury.com/talk/viewtopic.php?t=11131
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Kafein on April 15, 2012, 06:29:09 pm
Quote from: Adamar on April 15, 2012, 06:19:53 pm
Kafein, this isn't a discussion thread, but as far as the chest goes, taking an arrow to the lungs, heart, livor at least would put a guy down, not to mention the movement limitations you'd get from pinned tendons anywhere in the body. Well, apparently that didn't happen...

That is true. But in medieval times no matter what happened to you, you were either alive or dead.

Also, there was no way one could grab someone else or prevent him to move in a given direction by standing somewhere, with the paradoxal exception of horses at low speeds, which couldn't push people away.
People had very weird battle shouts like "man the siege tower".
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tennenoth on April 15, 2012, 06:30:24 pm
- I have the power of a God and can smite people for a plethora of reasons. (Or cut out their tongue and replace it on a whim.)
- Equipment passed down through generations would become stronger, not weaker. I.E. Straw Hat would probably rot away over ~ 120 years.
- Ramming a sword blade into someone while holding the blade itself doesn't inflict pain.
- Changes in the wind really did set your face in stone forever.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: zottlmarsch on April 15, 2012, 06:34:22 pm
Quote from: Tennenoth on April 15, 2012, 06:30:24 pm
- Equipment passed down through generations would become stronger, not weaker.

and people would pay some crazy amounts of gold for that shit too!
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Leshma on April 15, 2012, 06:45:01 pm
Medieval battles were epic dress-up parties.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tomas_of_Miles on April 15, 2012, 06:46:39 pm
The Kingdom of England was founded by an american.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: TurmoilTom on April 15, 2012, 06:46:49 pm
Cross-Dressing was literally impossible.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Lactose_the_intolerant on April 15, 2012, 06:49:08 pm
Hords of people ask nowadays who would win between a samurai and a european knight!

Information about the result must have been lost in time because these battles happened everyday.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Teeth on April 15, 2012, 06:50:05 pm
The Shogunate that was led by a Russian emigrated from Japan to Minor Asia and founded the Byzantine Empire.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Brrrak on April 15, 2012, 07:11:28 pm
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Vote on April 15, 2012, 07:15:09 pm
Quote from: SgtTeeh on April 15, 2012, 06:50:05 pm
The Shogunate that was led by a Russian emigrated from Japan to Minor Asia and founded the Byzantine Empire.

Isnt he georgian like stalin?
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tzar on April 15, 2012, 09:31:05 pm
Pikes and spears could teleport trough people an objects
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Banok on April 15, 2012, 09:37:56 pm
Holding a shield grants 180 degree forcefield, even if its a 9 inch buckler.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Darkmos on April 15, 2012, 09:54:46 pm
If men would siege a city, the city would be magicly taken over if a flag was taken down and replaced.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: B3RS3RK on April 15, 2012, 09:59:07 pm
That might be a bit offtopic, but FUCK!

Banok your Signature is just too fucking funny :lol:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Herkkutatti on April 15, 2012, 09:59:42 pm
Quote from: Darkmos on April 15, 2012, 09:54:46 pm
If men would siege a city, the city would be magicly taken over if a flag was taken down and replaced.
I read something about that, if the flag is replaced the castle is same as lost or something :D
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Loar Avel on April 15, 2012, 10:05:55 pm
Shield could only block when being hold in front of you.

If a warrior hit is friend five time or more, he could be strike an killed by the god.

Poll where made when a soldier dislike the battlefield.

Poll could also be made against a soldier judged annoying by his pair.

Dead soldier became ghost and often bring movie or book to wait for their resurrection.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Sir Gilinor on April 15, 2012, 10:32:16 pm
1. When armies would clash and a river or lake was in the way, they would simply walk down to the bottom of the lake/river (ignoring any scientific laws of the density of the human body) and walk up the other side of the lake/river rather than swim across.

2. The soldier did not get to pick and choose which army he was a part of. Either God put him through a random placement generator, thus placing him on the according army, or if his family happened to have the same coat-of-arms as another individual, he would be grouped with him, whether or not any connections between the two existed.

3. The medieval world must have had relatively few artists because of the great lack in the amount of coats-of-arms.

4. Soldiers were not allowed to swing at any angle. Each was forced to swing in only 4 different directions.

5. Annoying punks we find nowadays MUST be descendants from Horse Crossbowmen.

6. One was completely capable of carrying a polearm or two handed weapon that lacked a scabbard on their back by simply shoving it through the chinks in their armor, and were also very capable of being able to pull it out in a very timely fashion.

7. When a soldier was carrying a secondary weapon and wished to switch to it from the weapon he then possessed, there was no such proccess called "sheathing your weapon". The scabbard/belt of the individual had a magnetic mechanism that pulled the weapon he was then carrying into the respected place, giving the time it would originally take to put your weapon back in place to grab his secondary weapon.

8. Every 30 seconds in a battle, a soldier, whether he were living or in the arms of death, would find a bag of gold on the ground with varying amounts (this depended on how well his army was performing) within. Along with that, he would also have a moment of enlightenment that made him/her more of an experienced fighter (this 'enlightenment' came along with the finding of the bag-o-gold).

9. There was no such word as 'endurance' or 'catching-your-breath'; medieval knights and soldiers could run freely, no matter the weight of what they were carrying or wearing, and as long as their hearts desired. This rule applied to horses as well; they did not require the need to be fed/watered/rested.

10. Sticking hundreds of pounds of armor on top of your horse, as well as adding the weight of the plate armor you wore on top of it, did not dull its performance.

11. Peasant soldiers could easily take a spike/blade/knob the head or face, and still perform perfectly fine in battle. You then come to the conclusion that this was the result of grueling work on the farm under the burning sun.

12. Some 'two-handed' weapons were easily used on horseback as a 'one-handed' weapon.

13. Hordes of soldier, with verying cultures and backgrounds, often invaded a village in waves in order to take possession of a young woman (who is presumably the only resident of the village).

14. If a soldier was lacking a shield and happened to spot one in the heat of battle, he/she was able to pick it up as well as paint their coat-of-arms on the shield in a very neat and artistic manner within the matter of milliseconds.

16. When someone was placing a helmet upon their head, the individuals head would lose every strand of hair, becoming bald, in order to place the helmet on.

17. Beards must have been quite strong; they were able to go through the chainmail one wore upon his head.

18. The defenders of a castle would usually break a chunk out of the wall in order to let the besiegers place their siege equipment against it.
 :D
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Andy on April 15, 2012, 10:44:34 pm
Horses were fine after running face-first, full speed into a brick wall. They instantly stopped just inches away.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: brianr1989 on April 15, 2012, 11:18:07 pm
After each battle waged, each soldier was forced to pay their respective commander a heavy amount of gold to repair their equipment. Failure to do so resulted in said soldier being forced to fight the next battle naked. Luckily most soldiers carried with them a set of peasant clothing to make sure the other soldiers did not notice.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Logen on April 15, 2012, 11:27:51 pm
that a kick to the balls was considered a proper greeting
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: polkafranzi on April 15, 2012, 11:38:33 pm
Eastern Europeans would come into your house while you slept and steal all your inherited gear.

Then on the battlefield they would wait in the back somewhere, wait to see who was the winning side and then join them, strangely they got paid more quickly than others for doing this, but also smited most often because they made it pretty obvious.

Sometimes a guy would turn up for a battle and just do nothing but stand there, whilst others punched him.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: wayyyyyne on April 15, 2012, 11:45:10 pm
Vikings used to fight samurais in the Saharan desert.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: SquishMitten on April 15, 2012, 11:47:12 pm
Russia conquered America
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Berserkadin on April 15, 2012, 11:59:04 pm
That after every battle all the remaining soldiers released their attacks. Sometimes this resulted in grevious wounds and even death to comrades.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Cosmos_Shielder on April 16, 2012, 12:34:57 am
Quote from: Kafein on April 15, 2012, 06:12:05 pm
lmao

It still does not. Depending on the spot you were hit you die let's say 10 minutes later out of blood loss (ofc. if a critical zone is hit you can be neutralized immediately).
if the armor take most part of the hit , the arrow only wound you flesh and muscles but doesn't hit vital part
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: wanteds on April 16, 2012, 01:43:53 am
-Men didn't know what swimming was in medieval times, but instead they had the ability to walk under water. First they needed no air, but then they developed lungs.
-Horses had (long lost) perfect brake abilities which stopped them outright while running 100 mph.
-There existed knowledge of indestructible shields. (which was called inhuman and forbidden by the Gods)
-In medieval times, men did not try to improve their weapons and gear over time, only nerf them.
-Agility would determine how good you could aim.
-If a mellee fighter approached an archer and came too close, the archer would be bumped as if a horse had bumped him.
-Horses would bump you even from 2 meters distance.
-There was waves of angry peasants, bandits, nomads, weaboo's, sea raiders,... all to rape 1 virgin.


And here it comes, the shocking facts:

The creator of the medieval times was a donkey.  :lol:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: RandomDude on April 16, 2012, 01:55:47 am
-Peasants and farmers would regularly hide behind trees and rocks, and sometimes hold their breath for hours under water, all to escape the fighting.
-Soldiers of the same lord would regularly hit and slash each other "for fun".
-Flamberges were indeed useless in medieval times. There were no fields big enough to use them in.
-If a soldier was angry, he might kill his own men and then run away.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Herkkutatti on April 16, 2012, 01:57:51 am
-one man could push a siege tower forward,  just by standing near it  .
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: SirProto on April 16, 2012, 02:08:11 am
- In medieval times when attempting to throw something up into the sky people gained very bendy spines
- A throwing lance to the chest was no worry to a warrior and he could run about as normal, but a stone to the face could kill him outright
- Armies only had 6 minutes to capture a castle if they were laying siege to it
- During a siege, defenders would carefully leave indestructible ladders at random points in their castles

 :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Patoson on April 16, 2012, 05:01:27 am
Quote from: joosto on April 16, 2012, 01:57:51 am
-one man could move a siege tower forward by just standing next to it.

Corrected :P
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: EyeBeat on April 16, 2012, 05:32:10 am
Crossbows can be loaded at full speed making crazy zigzags patterns up and down hills on horses. 

For the love of fucking god get rid of horse crossbows.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: MrShine on April 16, 2012, 06:17:18 am
I've learned that medieval warriors would erect siege ladders using their minds.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Vkvkvk on April 16, 2012, 06:18:12 am
Quote from: MrShine on April 16, 2012, 06:17:18 am
I've learned that medieval warriors would erect siege ladders using their minds.

I can erect my ladder using my mind all day.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Blashyrkh on April 16, 2012, 06:34:20 am
all medieval warrior whined on forums about nerfing, xbow cav, crushthrough, horsearchers, samurais, ninjas, pole stagger, archers etc.... and how their god is destroying their lives
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Son Of Odin on April 16, 2012, 06:37:04 am
- Horses were made of glass
- If you got bumped and overrun by horse, you didn't die and only had minor damage.
- You could throw shit at people even if they are less than half meter away from you.
- You could carry ladders in your arse and pull them out and throw them with one hand.
- You could kill a man by kicking him in the nuts
- Arrow to the knee was serious injury
- 2h sword outreached all lances
- Katana was a viable weapon against heavy armored opponents
- Horses broke and had to be fixed
- All Russians were archers
- Nordic warlord helmet was the most used helmet in every culture
- Ninjas and Samurais only walked backwards and swung their sword mindlessly when they saw an opponent (I still wonder what would happen if these two met  :mrgreen:)
- Templars were 13 year old boys
- Crossbow bolts went through shields
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Huey Newton on April 16, 2012, 06:37:49 am
-cav is hard
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Vibe on April 16, 2012, 07:42:26 am
- flying carpets and fireballs out of staves
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Soviless99 on April 16, 2012, 09:07:24 am
If archers tried to pick up an arrow that didn't match the arrows in their quiver, they would accidentally drop their quiver. Once they picked it back up, the arrow they were trying to pick up could be found in their quiver magically turned into one of their original arrows.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Rhygar666 on April 16, 2012, 09:09:41 am
with a bit jumping pikes could hit trough shields
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Bobthehero on April 16, 2012, 09:29:13 am
Plate armor was uselss and slowed you down as if it weighted a ton or three.

Swashbucklers were in need of a buff back then.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Fluffy_Muffin on April 16, 2012, 10:40:30 am
Once on the battlefield men were allowed to say only a preset ammount of commands, they had to say it in the same voice sometimes with different pitch. Women had even less rights and were only allowed to say the most basic of commands

Uttering more commands in a row was very dangerous as the soldiers were suddenly struck by the gods and died
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Jallah on April 16, 2012, 11:45:27 am
I learned that in the Dark Ages, it was not necessary to touch an opponent with your weapon to kill them.  Swinging it near them was often just as effective.

I learned that the Roman Empire fell because stabbing with a sword, such as a gladius, did not penetrate armor, but instead glanced off.  Only the slashing attacks favored by the "barbarians" were effective.  How Gibbon missed this in The Decline and Fall I cannot imagine.

I learned that all male horse archers were homosexual, and that such terms were also applied to women should they mount a horse with bow in hand.

When approached by cavalry, a medieval swordman would spring three feet into the air and slash horizontally, killing the rider but leaving the horse unscathed.

In olden times, it was standard practice for infantry and cavalry alike to wander across the archers' line of fire, calling the wrath of god upon their bowmen should they take hurt.

Early in the dark ages, a method was found to place ladders atop other ladders with perfect stability.  In this way, great sequences of ladders were constructed on many battlefields.  Santa's Elves would often do this, and then leap from atop the wooden trail, hurtling down from above like bats out of hell to bring joy and good cheer to all.

I am grateful to C-rpg for teaching these things that no surviving manuscript records, but which one can easily see must have been fact.

- Jallah
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: dynamike on April 16, 2012, 01:52:34 pm
 Horses standing in shallow water are suffering unexpected heart attacks, causing sudden death. Evolution just recently made them lose their underwater abilities they had due to their apparently close ties to their aquatic cousins, the sea horses
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: wayyyyyne on April 16, 2012, 02:22:22 pm
Quote from: Son Of Odin on April 16, 2012, 06:37:04 am
- Templars were 13 year old boys

That isn't even too far off considering there's been a child cursade.

-showing up with a wooden stick at a battle was a perfectly viable choice of weaponry if you knew how to block
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Teeth on April 16, 2012, 02:22:45 pm
Quote from: Son Of Odin on April 16, 2012, 06:37:04 am
- Horses were made of glass
- If you got bumped and overrun by horse, you didn't die and only had minor damage.
- You could throw shit at people even if they are less than half meter away from you.
- You could carry ladders in your arse and pull them out and throw them with one hand.
- You could kill a man by kicking him in the nuts
- Arrow to the knee was serious injury
- 2h sword outreached all lances
- Katana was a viable weapon against heavy armored opponents
- Horses broke and had to be fixed
- All Russians were archers
- Nordic warlord helmet was the most used helmet in every culture
- Ninjas and Samurais only walked backwards and swung their sword mindlessly when they saw an opponent (I still wonder what would happen if these two met  :mrgreen:)
- Templars were 13 year old boys
- Crossbow bolts went through shields
This post just screams butthurt at the top of its lungs.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Razzer on April 16, 2012, 02:29:09 pm
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Brrrak on April 16, 2012, 04:10:27 pm
Quote from: Loar Avel on April 15, 2012, 10:05:55 pm
Poll where made when a soldier dislike the battlefield.

Poll could also be made against a soldier judged annoying by his pair.

No, this didn't happen.  God kept on turning off polls so it wouldn't, and forgot to turn them back on when he went off for whatever reason.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: dodnet on April 16, 2012, 04:34:46 pm
Backstabbing spies weren't killed, they were (vote)banned and just disappeared.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Elindor on April 16, 2012, 04:47:27 pm
- In medieval times, when a combatant fell off a wall and died, the gods punished them by not only giving them an additional death toll - but by also REMOVING one of their kill points.

- In most castles, the walls actually had little to no defensive significance.  The real place to defend the castle was an arbitrary flag somewhere in the keep.

- In medieval times, the damage a weapon dealt was widely variant and sometimes an overhand chop from a veteran soldier with a 2handed sword to the top of an unarmored peasants head did not in fact KILL that peasant.  Truth.

- At one point in history, soldiers could carry massive massive ladders with them (and still fight, albeit slower moving) ....then one day the gods decided this was stupid and took the ladders away. 

- Ladders could not be pushed down by defenders atop the walls if there was even 1 person on the ladder.  Physics was a mystery....Isaac Newton hadn't been born yet.

- Often, an army would lug catapults across the lands to attack a castle, but upon arriving, not use them at all.

- I wont mention the incredible speed of heavy axes and polearms, or the ability to stab a target 2 ft away with a 16 ft pole, etc...because im sure those have already been mentioned...but they were staples of medieval combat I assure you  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: wanteds on April 16, 2012, 04:58:02 pm
In medieval times when commanders would give out orders, only women could refuse those orders by simply and bluntly responding "No".
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Scrambles720 on April 16, 2012, 05:33:50 pm
-All men and women were the same height and weight
-Unfun men and women would show up for a day or two as a highly skilled, ill equipped warrior then be smitten from all existence because, "There can be only one."
-Weight of armor in no way affected the height you can jump
-Medieval people believed highly in civil rights and the gods would smite you if you spoke ill of another race
-In a siege you could die multiple times, but in a battle you could die only once
-You have to capture or defend a castle 3 times in order to move on to the next castle
-You would randomly switch sides because the gods willed the teams unfair
-Farmer Nate should be unsmitten
-Women were equal to men in both speed and strength
-Metal and wood could not be broken
-Shields that break stay together but are only broken in your mind
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: SirProto on April 16, 2012, 05:47:30 pm
- It rained. Every day. All day. Every month. Every Year. Also at night.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: soeldnerraimund on April 16, 2012, 05:50:52 pm
And I know an another aspect: Sure, every one had armoury and a sword    :?
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: KaMiKaZe_JoE on April 16, 2012, 06:07:04 pm
Horsemen mind-melded to their horses, driving them every which way at a whim.

Also, every single warrior was gay.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Son Of Odin on April 16, 2012, 06:10:29 pm
Quote from: SgtTeeh on April 16, 2012, 02:22:45 pm
This post just screams butthurt at the top of its lungs.
I didn't make my sarcasm clear enough again? Doh!

It wasn't supposed to be "NERF THIS NERF THAT, BUFF THIS AND THAT AAAGHHH!!! YOU FUCKING IDIOTS"- post. It was for lulz like every other post in this thread (weird that you didn't call butt-hurt on them :wink:). Then note that I listed many things I do myself like kicking, using Nordic Warlord helmet with every armor I got, shooting through shields with arbalest etc...

Btw was it the samurai part that got you, ex-Shogunate/Ninja(I cant remember)? :D I meant to mock random weeaboos who mostly like to backpeddle and spam. I had respect for shogunates even if I never liked the armors etc. (I would be stupid if I didn't after those pike/long spear tactics.)

Couple more:

- Polearms were used the same way as 2h swords, 4 attack directions usually. No hooking or wrestling was involved in polearm fighting.
- Men sometimes became so angry that they totally quit and walked away from the battlefield. This was called "The Great GTX" in medieval times.
- Leshma was never a girl.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: BlueKnight on April 16, 2012, 06:59:52 pm
- You could easily block the horseman's lance with your fists, you just had to know when to hit the lance.
- During small battles 1 archer could win the whole fight.
- If you killed too many enemies, you had to fight for them.
- There were invisible forces that didn't let you leave the field of battle and therefore you couldn't visit the ugly part of the world.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Kafein on April 16, 2012, 07:23:02 pm
A mail coif offered a lot less protection than boerk and solak helmets, which may let us think that Turks had vastly superior technology, hiding a small scale kynetic shield in what looks like a hat, and at the same time making you look like a retard, which is a superior tactic.

Sometimes soldiers would meet in a very friendly environment and repeatedly fight in duels to the death.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: ThePoopy on April 16, 2012, 08:29:13 pm
medieval ppl had very weak brains, if to much stuff happened around them it would give short blackouts
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Teeth on April 16, 2012, 09:15:26 pm
Quote from: Son Of Odin on April 16, 2012, 06:10:29 pm
(click to show/hide)
My sarcasm detector didn't go off, sorry. It was the 2h swords outreach all lances part that got me.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Lactose_the_intolerant on April 16, 2012, 09:49:01 pm
On the battlefield, A warrior named Sir agor was the most valourous
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Bulzur on April 16, 2012, 09:56:44 pm
Quote from: Lactose_the_intolerant on April 16, 2012, 09:49:01 pm
On the battlefield, a warrior man named Sir Agor was the most valourous.

Fixed. But nice one indeed. :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: djavo on April 16, 2012, 10:27:05 pm
Medieval raindrops were so heavy that birds couldnt fly when it rained.
There were no birds.
Moon wasnt in high definition back then.
Cavalry bumped their army on start of battle for fun.
You could carry maximum of 48 stones in your hand.
Bald women were common.
You could jump only 2 times in a row from height of 5m before dying. If you jumped from 10m height, you would die instantly of heart attack.
You had to kill everyone that didnt have flag above their heads.
Medieval folks never opened their mouths or blinked.
They also loved maths, they loved most when they had to multiply with 5.
Ranged infantry was strangely attracted by roofs, and had to climb on them to check chimneys. Later they were forced to stop it, because ladders didnt exist anymore.

Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Bulzur on April 16, 2012, 10:31:29 pm
I believe one should make a compilation of the best ones.


-A common excuse, after hurting one's teammate was "sorry, banner bug". Historians still wonder if they got the good traduction.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Christo on April 16, 2012, 10:34:34 pm
After a glorious battle, the remaining victors couldn't resist holding their attacks because of some heavenly command, this led to many friendly casualties.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Lactose_the_intolerant on April 16, 2012, 10:36:09 pm
aaah you beat me to it christo!  :evil:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Christo on April 16, 2012, 10:36:45 pm
Quote from: Lactose_the_intolerant on April 16, 2012, 10:36:09 pm
aaah you beat me to it christo!  :evil:

Hehehe.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tanken on April 16, 2012, 10:37:01 pm
- Blocking down around your waist blocked even the most obscene angles of a thrust.
- Shields had additional force-fields around them.
- Just because an axe appeared to be in someone's head, it was most likely in their shoulder.
- Calradia was the name of Europe back in the day.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Teeth on April 16, 2012, 11:27:53 pm
Quote from: Lactose_the_intolerant on April 16, 2012, 10:36:09 pm
aaah you beat me to it christo!  :evil:
Quote from: Berserkadin on April 15, 2012, 11:59:04 pm
That after every battle all the remaining soldiers released their attacks. Sometimes this resulted in grevious wounds and even death to comrades.
And Christo got beaten to it too.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Christo on April 16, 2012, 11:30:23 pm
Quote from: SgtTeeh on April 16, 2012, 11:27:53 pm
And Christo got beaten to it too.

 : o
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Lactose_the_intolerant on April 16, 2012, 11:37:54 pm
Quote from: Christo on April 16, 2012, 11:30:23 pm
: o

eat it christo!  :twisted:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: wanteds on April 17, 2012, 12:06:12 am
People played football in medieval times, with swords!
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Vote on April 17, 2012, 12:25:43 am
I say let Tzar make the balance!
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Christo on April 17, 2012, 12:42:02 am
Quote from: Lactose_the_intolerant on April 16, 2012, 11:37:54 pm
eat it christo!  :twisted:

you too  :twisted:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: wanteds on April 17, 2012, 12:50:01 am
There was a holy virgin in medieval times who would keep her virginity, after countless waves of rapage by horny peasants.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Kafein on April 17, 2012, 01:04:05 am
Holy texts say that when you died because one of your allies killed you, you were asked by god wether should he in your opinion be stricken by godly lightning and vanish from existence.

People could look all around them without moving their heads, and while doing absolutely anything, even running forward as fast as they can.

People could turn their right arm around their shoulders freely, even doing multiple turns in a certain direction. This was very useful for axe throwers.

Instead of nodding, people faked blocking an high attack.

You had to pass several shield use exams and get a license before being allowed to use certain shields.

Melee weapons and armours had very precise fitness requirements. If you did not meet them, there was simply no way you could use those pieces of equipment.

When people carrying shields were close to each other, their shields where all individually stronger and faster to use.

All battles were fought until one side was completely obliterated, or after a very elusive flag that all soldiers wanted to appear sooner and less randomly was capped. An army never ever retreated. Ever.

If a man or woman felt and died, he or she necessarily hit the ground with the head first. At least that's what the forensics always said when they wrote the battle reports.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Remy on April 17, 2012, 01:13:05 am
It was common for arrows, stones, javelins, bolts and various other ranged weapons to pass straight through an enemy soldier without said individual coming to harm.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tomas_of_Miles on April 17, 2012, 01:18:35 am
The medieval predecessor of football did indeed use swords, but the ball itself was passed between players and shot with pure rage energy.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: polkafranzi on April 17, 2012, 01:30:10 am
When people died in medieval times, the second their heart stopped beating, their bodies magically became made out of nothing but thin air, however you could still see the body. 
Meaning sometimes, if you were double teaming someone, you'd likely hit your friend if he got the kill first and you were still swinging at the dead person.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tomas_of_Miles on April 17, 2012, 01:32:21 am
Quote from: polkafranzi on April 17, 2012, 01:30:10 am
When people died in medieval times, the second their heart stopped beating, their bodies magically became made out of nothing but thin air, however you could still see the body. 
Meaning sometimes, if you were double teaming someone, you'd likely hit your friend if he got the kill first and you were still swinging at the dead person.
For some reason your mallet swinging into my royal highness after a fail ambush where I threw some smoke bombs comes to mind...
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Son Of Odin on April 17, 2012, 02:35:24 am
-In medieval fight a man could magically move himself through his enemy and hit him in the back.
-Great lances were almost the worst cavalry weapons right with meat cleaver and wooden stick.
-It was fairly usual sight to see someone strong beating plate armored knights to death with a cudgel.
-Sadly there was no donkeys to ride.
-Kebab could be sliced with big axe
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Burr1ck on April 17, 2012, 03:14:43 am
- Everyone had Shpongled's vocal cords with some of them varying in pitch.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Brrrak on April 17, 2012, 07:15:50 am
Quote from: djavo on April 16, 2012, 10:27:05 pm
Medieval raindrops were so heavy that birds couldnt fly when it rained.
There were no birds.

I have a pissed-off neighbor now.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: reaperkiller on April 17, 2012, 07:22:33 am
back in medieval times Men and women alike suffered from crazy frenzy psychopathic moments where when they saw a horse they usually butchered and killed the poor thing for apparently no reason.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Horst_Kurmoottaja on April 17, 2012, 09:53:46 pm
- Silent ninja-assasins actaully used a long pikes to assasinate their targets.

- Horses did actually levitate and thus so they galloped quickly on dunes and other treacherous enviroments .

- Superglue prank-areas were commonly used by castle architects.

- Gods had mercy many times for soldiers -> Even though axe did go through victims skull Lagcronos god of bad connection intervened and nothing happened!

- It was feared amongst even most fierce warriors that heinous disease called WINDOWS UPDATE will ruin ones eyesight and brains...
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Ragni_Bross on April 18, 2012, 12:10:49 am
- It was common knowledge that longer weapons were a lot faster than their shorter counterparts.
- By spinning wildly you could cut your opponent with your extremely long sword, even when he was far behind your blade, and the move would still be considered a thrust. Soldiers capable of executing this highly random move were considered elite.
- Nobody used shields back then, but those who did quickly realized that using a buckler as a shield rather than have it follow and protect your sword arm, was just as effective if not more than using something that would actually cover most of your body.
- Visors did not impair your vision at all.
- The best way to beat plate armour was to punch right through it and apparently plate armour was soft as butter.
- Kicking would in no way compromise your balance and would certainly not leave you incapable of blocking attacks from a huge and fearsome morningstar with a much smaller sword.
- People with expensive equipment were considered better fighters for simply having it.
- Blocking attacks with a pike was easy and very effective seeing as it did not require any room or time to move around but strangely enough it was under no circumstances possible to deliver high thrusts with a pike or to brace it against the ground.
- Wearing plate mittens would save your life if you took a blow to the shoulder.
- While some axes were considered unbalanced and too cumbersome to be tossed around madly others were not and thus the longest axes also proved the fastest.
- Heavy doors and even huge gates could be opened by briefly touching said object resulting in people being pushed backwards on the other side.
- Picking up a weapon you found would force you to repair said item if it ended up being damaged. You were even required to pick up objects you had discarded earlier and repair those too.
- If not held at a perfect angle a shield becomes transparent and utterly useless against attacks.
- People were mainly Russian back then.
- Small Arabian horses were most common in Europe. Even knights tended to use them caring about nothing but efficiency.
- Knives and daggers were never used. Because of this many soldiers brought wooden daggers with them seeing as they wouldn't need real daggers.
- Upon dying soldiers could make their weapons disappear by shoving them up their arses.
- People would offer their friends useless things such as hats or stones for vast sums of money.
- Ageing didn't work like it does now back then. Age was meassured in combat efficiency.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Tzar on April 18, 2012, 05:29:02 pm
When people died they became instantly shaped in ghost form making weapons an objects fly straight trough em an often injuring fellow comrades in arm and it caused lots n lots of rage  :lol:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Kafein on April 18, 2012, 06:27:37 pm
Quote from: Ragni_Bross on April 18, 2012, 12:10:49 am
- Ageing didn't work like it does now back then. Age was meassured in combat efficiency.

The average medieval soldier was about 45 years old.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Ragni_Bross on April 18, 2012, 07:56:24 pm
Quote from: Kafein on April 18, 2012, 06:27:37 pm
The average medieval soldier was about 45 years old.

So being around level 30 is s'posed to be the equivalent of an average soldier back then? Incredible how they got to get so old when they had to go through 30 years of near uselessness.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Frell on April 18, 2012, 09:19:12 pm
That people were in fact lawnmowers because this game isn't that realistic at all.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Brrrak on April 18, 2012, 10:19:38 pm
Quote from: frell on April 18, 2012, 09:19:12 pm
That people were in fact lawnmowers because this game isn't that realistic at all.

bracket img bracket http://www.imageshack.us/guyoverheadwarcle.gif bracket slash img bracket
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: _Sebastian_ on April 19, 2012, 08:14:00 am
- There were no wind
- All trees looked ugly
- There were horses but no other animals exist
- No enviroment sounds
- Fire wont burn you to death
- You couldnt enter the most buildings

- People used a chat to communicate
- Noone knew how to climp up a 1meter tall wall
- People couldnt sprint, but they had infinite stamina

- Attacking while jumping was the most effective way to kill someone
- Tincans were professional dancers and they were able to dogde missiles with ultra fast movements
- Mail- and Plate-armors were used for sneak attacks, because they wont make any noises
- Heavy armor wont slow you down

- One handed weapons were super fast and dealt the same damage as two handed weapons
- Everyone could spam his weapon without loosing stamina, because there were no stamina
- Shields were super heavy and could only used for blocking and not for attaking
- A quiver with 24 arrows weights 5 kilos, because the arrowheads were heavy stones
- Bows also were heavy stones
- All ranged weapons are used with animated crosshairs
- A bow could be drawn at its maximum for a week without breaking
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Beauchamp on April 19, 2012, 09:01:00 am
- There were many kings, overlords, lieges, captains... but the world was ruled by a donkey
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Bobthehero on April 19, 2012, 09:55:21 am
- People can't type donkey properly.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: bilwit on April 19, 2012, 10:37:55 am
There were a lot of weaboos.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Beauchamp on April 19, 2012, 10:57:44 am
Quote from: Bobthehero on April 19, 2012, 09:55:21 am
- People can't type donkey properly.

how did u avoid that stupid filter?
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: polkafranzi on April 19, 2012, 10:58:46 am
Quote from: Beauchamp on April 19, 2012, 10:57:44 am
how did u avoid that stupid filter?

simple html.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Vibe on April 19, 2012, 10:59:03 am
Quote from: Beauchamp on April 19, 2012, 10:57:44 am
how did u avoid that stupid filter?

Quote him and see
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Bobthehero on April 19, 2012, 11:06:05 am
By using ancient Panos the mighty my old friendcher on a donkey magic.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Kafein on April 19, 2012, 11:25:17 am
Quote from: _Sebastian_ on April 19, 2012, 08:14:00 am
- Heavy armor wont slow you down

Well no, this mod shows us that in real medieval times, armors were indeed heavy and cumbersome like depicted in 20th century movies, and not fine works of smithing actually lighter and better balanced than the equipment of modern armies as historians experts of that domain say and factual evidence proves.


But we also learned that wearing a "heavy plate armor" would turn you into some kind of blackhole that could be seen when you turned your chest.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: polkafranzi on April 19, 2012, 11:26:07 am
Quote from: Bobthehero on April 19, 2012, 11:06:05 am
By using ancient Panos the mighty my old friendcher on a donkey magic.

you forgot to mention that the mod is dead
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Argatil on April 19, 2012, 01:01:36 pm
1-Cavalry was really rich person and always attacks by under  :lol:
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Fluffy_Muffin on April 19, 2012, 01:57:10 pm
Quote from: Argatil on April 19, 2012, 01:01:36 pm
1-Cavalry was really rich person and always attacks by under  :lol:

Indeed, cavalry was usualy rich nobles that could afford a horse
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Butan on April 19, 2012, 06:33:55 pm
* Javelins/arrows/projectiles would never go deeper than 1 inch into a target.


* When you went into the sacred ruins of duel, accepted a duel with someone and killed him, all your wounds were automatically sealed, healed and your blood restored into your body, thus making it possible to chain duels without risk of injury if you can succeed at each one, even if your body is splattered with 5000L of blood by the end of the day.


* Great Lance and Jousting Lance could not be used as a pike when not on horse and could only be held into one's lap.


* Fighters couldnt speak on the battlefield, except through basic prerecorded female voices, so that when someone wanted to say things like "good job", "I see you", "lets fight honorably"; he had to do an overhead block and hold it toward his interlocutor.


* People often jumped and spinned mid-air multiple times to show off, mock someone or simply to show spirit before/during/after battle.


* To avoid projectiles, meleist often danced or held swing attacks while bending their body at a 90° angle.


* To test the power of one's weaponry, people often invited acquaintances to be hit at various bodyparts until death occured; thus calculating the average hits needed to kill a man.


* There was no way tu surrender, and the battlefield could not be fled from, thus everyone fighted to the last man; the only other option was to commit suicide by heart attack (always through the head).


* A battle was considered a victory when one of the two sides had been completely obliterated at least 4 times, more if the rules of war were modified by demi gods before or during the battle itself.


* Having a strangely shaped head was commonly bragged about and ugliness was often the mark of one's skill.


* Sometimes, after a battle, a horse would spring back from the dead without a scratch, and a horse dealt with no blows would suddenly break and need repairs to use it at top efficiency.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Ubereem on April 19, 2012, 11:11:42 pm
Quote from: Arn_Magnusson on April 15, 2012, 05:36:47 pm
1. The medieval society was homopfobic.

Who at the same time appear to be openly gay.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Son Of Odin on April 19, 2012, 11:59:45 pm
Quote from: polkafranzi on April 19, 2012, 11:26:07 am
you forgot to mention that the mod is dead
Or that

I used to play in EU 1, until I took an arrow to the knee
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: Kelugarn on April 20, 2012, 12:09:07 am
The gods maintained a repository of souls that connected to the physical world via portals in the astral plane. If these connections were ever severed then every man and woman in the world would lose their unique identity and they would all become clones with identical physical capabilities until the connection to the repository of souls could be reestablished.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: POOPHAMMER on April 20, 2012, 12:33:03 am
It is fully 100% possible to reload a full sized crossbow on horseback while riding and turning and stopping and doing everything else with no hands!

I tried it myself irl, but I fell off and broke my back the moment I started to reload. It must be some long forgotten skill of our warriors and horse whisperers of the past.
Title: Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
Post by: SeQuel on April 20, 2012, 12:42:14 am
Flying carpets actually existed.