Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG

[Scrambles720]

-All men and women were the same height and weight
-Unfun men and women would show up for a day or two as a highly skilled, ill equipped warrior then be smitten from all existence because, "There can be only one."
-Weight of armor in no way affected the height you can jump
-Medieval people believed highly in civil rights and the gods would smite you if you spoke ill of another race
-In a siege you could die multiple times, but in a battle you could die only once
-You have to capture or defend a castle 3 times in order to move on to the next castle
-You would randomly switch sides because the gods willed the teams unfair
-Farmer Nate should be unsmitten
-Women were equal to men in both speed and strength
-Metal and wood could not be broken
-Shields that break stay together but are only broken in your mind

[SirProto]

- It rained. Every day. All day. Every month. Every Year. Also at night.

[soeldnerraimund]

And I know an another aspect: Sure, every one had armoury and a sword   

[KaMiKaZe_JoE]

Horsemen mind-melded to their horses, driving them every which way at a whim.

Also, every single warrior was gay.

[Son Of Odin]

This post just screams butthurt at the top of its lungs.

I didn't make my sarcasm clear enough again? Doh!

It wasn't supposed to be "NERF THIS NERF THAT, BUFF THIS AND THAT AAAGHHH!!! YOU FUCKING IDIOTS"- post. It was for lulz like every other post in this thread (weird that you didn't call butt-hurt on them ). Then note that I listed many things I do myself like kicking, using Nordic Warlord helmet with every armor I got, shooting through shields with arbalest etc...

Btw was it the samurai part that got you, ex-Shogunate/Ninja(I cant remember)? I meant to mock random weeaboos who mostly like to backpeddle and spam. I had respect for shogunates even if I never liked the armors etc. (I would be stupid if I didn't after those pike/long spear tactics.)

Couple more:

- Polearms were used the same way as 2h swords, 4 attack directions usually. No hooking or wrestling was involved in polearm fighting.
- Men sometimes became so angry that they totally quit and walked away from the battlefield. This was called "The Great GTX" in medieval times.
- Leshma was never a girl.

[BlueKnight]

- You could easily block the horseman's lance with your fists, you just had to know when to hit the lance.
- During small battles 1 archer could win the whole fight.
- If you killed too many enemies, you had to fight for them.
- There were invisible forces that didn't let you leave the field of battle and therefore you couldn't visit the ugly part of the world.

[Kafein]

A mail coif offered a lot less protection than boerk and solak helmets, which may let us think that Turks had vastly superior technology, hiding a small scale kynetic shield in what looks like a hat, and at the same time making you look like a retard, which is a superior tactic.

Sometimes soldiers would meet in a very friendly environment and repeatedly fight in duels to the death.

[ThePoopy]

medieval ppl had very weak brains, if to much stuff happened around them it would give short blackouts

[Teeth]

(click to show/hide)

I didn't make my sarcasm clear enough again? Doh!

It wasn't supposed to be "NERF THIS NERF THAT, BUFF THIS AND THAT AAAGHHH!!! YOU FUCKING IDIOTS"- post. It was for lulz like every other post in this thread (weird that you didn't call butt-hurt on them ). Then note that I listed many things I do myself like kicking, using Nordic Warlord helmet with every armor I got, shooting through shields with arbalest etc...

Btw was it the samurai part that got you, ex-Shogunate/Ninja(I cant remember)? I meant to mock random weeaboos who mostly like to backpeddle and spam. I had respect for shogunates even if I never liked the armors etc. (I would be stupid if I didn't after those pike/long spear tactics.)

Couple more:

- Polearms were used the same way as 2h swords, 4 attack directions usually. No hooking or wrestling was involved in polearm fighting.
- Men sometimes became so angry that they totally quit and walked away from the battlefield. This was called "The Great GTX" in medieval times.
- Leshma was never a girl.

My sarcasm detector didn't go off, sorry. It was the 2h swords outreach all lances part that got me.

[Lactose_the_intolerant]

On the battlefield, A warrior named Sir agor was the most valourous

[Bulzur]

On the battlefield, a warrior man named Sir Agor was the most valourous.

Fixed. But nice one indeed.

[djavo]

Medieval raindrops were so heavy that birds couldnt fly when it rained.
There were no birds.
Moon wasnt in high definition back then.
Cavalry bumped their army on start of battle for fun.
You could carry maximum of 48 stones in your hand.
Bald women were common.
You could jump only 2 times in a row from height of 5m before dying. If you jumped from 10m height, you would die instantly of heart attack.
You had to kill everyone that didnt have flag above their heads.
Medieval folks never opened their mouths or blinked.
They also loved maths, they loved most when they had to multiply with 5.
Ranged infantry was strangely attracted by roofs, and had to climb on them to check chimneys. Later they were forced to stop it, because ladders didnt exist anymore.

[Bulzur]

I believe one should make a compilation of the best ones.


-A common excuse, after hurting one's teammate was "sorry, banner bug". Historians still wonder if they got the good traduction.

[Christo]

After a glorious battle, the remaining victors couldn't resist holding their attacks because of some heavenly command, this led to many friendly casualties.

[Lactose_the_intolerant]

aaah you beat me to it christo!