Author Topic: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...(mean jokes)  (Read 5030 times)

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Offline Jona

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #30 on: December 15, 2015, 10:09:06 pm »
+4
Have you heard about the new car designed by the Jews?

It stops on a dime and then picks it up.



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Offline Paul

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #31 on: December 15, 2015, 10:09:23 pm »
+5
A Greek guy walks into a bank.

Greek guy: Give loan.

Bank employee: But you didn't pay back your last one yet.

Greek guy: Fuck you, malaka! It's your fault I didn't pay it back.
You fuckin loan shark. The interest is too damn high. I bet your mother lay with a Turk. Anyway, why don't you pay back the loan first your grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-uncles aquaintance took from my mother-side grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand father's donkey masseur 200 years ago? Ye, you won't see a dime until this is settled, dickhead. Anyway it's all Merkel's fault. Refugees took ma job. Don't you know any mercy? I barely surviving on 3 warm meals a day, you fcking nazi. If golden dawn was in power they'd kick out parasites like you and make us true blooded Greek rich by drilling for oil on the Turkish occupied part of Cypria. What can possibly go wrong? Give the loan now, asshat! We Greek basicly invented everything. Show some respect! I wish Putin would see this so he could bomb the shit out of your zionist-enabling ass. FUCK YOU. Because of Alexander the Great anything belongs to Greece anyway. And no, there weren't any gays back then. If you shave them boys hair there they count as girl, idiot. Gayness was invented by Turks to bad-mouth us Greek. You didn't know that, right? Get some education AFTER you handed me the money.

Offline Panos_

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #32 on: December 15, 2015, 10:16:36 pm »
0
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Turks & Gentlemen, German humor at its finest  :lol:
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Offline Panos_

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #33 on: December 15, 2015, 10:24:14 pm »
+13
An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital. A nurse comes out and says to the men "I'm sorry, but there's a been a mix-up and we don't know which baby belongs to which mother. Any chance one of you could come in and see if you can help?" The Englishman stands up and says that he'll help. He walks into the ward and, a couple of minutes later walks out with what is obviously a Pakistani baby. The Pakistani man stands up and shouts "What do you think you're doing?!" And the Englishman said "Look, one of those babies in there is Welsh, and I'm not taking any chances."
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Offline Panos_

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #34 on: December 15, 2015, 10:24:47 pm »
+6
how does a Welshman find sheep in tall grass?

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Offline Panos_

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #35 on: December 15, 2015, 10:27:24 pm »
+7
Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve?

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Offline Panos_

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #36 on: December 15, 2015, 10:33:06 pm »
+8
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
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Offline Angantyr

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #37 on: December 15, 2015, 11:35:28 pm »
+1
What's white and carries a bucket of water on its head?

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Offline Angantyr

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #38 on: December 15, 2015, 11:53:51 pm »
+2
I'm not a racist, some of my best friends are from London.

Offline the real god emperor

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #39 on: December 16, 2015, 10:31:35 am »
+14
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.  He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak.  His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail.  He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father."  The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed"  At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.  A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."

Offline Beauchamp

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #40 on: December 16, 2015, 12:50:56 pm »
0
A guy in Russia is drowning in the icy cold river, two cops are standing just 5 meters from him but they don't do anything ignoring him in whatever he is doing. Desperately not knowing what to do, in the last breath he shouts: "The president is an imbecile!!!!!!".

Both cops immediately jump into the water, as they pull him out they yell: "You're arrested for offending the head of the state".

Guy quickly counters: "But I meant American president!"

Cops:"You won't fool us, we know very well which president is an imbecile"

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OOODDIIINVALHALLAAAAAAA on the 20th of April 2011: What I know is that... heh, eh ja how can I explain? ...deh feeling to believe in Odin is right, dat is what I say, ja?!

Offline Vovka

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #41 on: December 16, 2015, 01:06:29 pm »
0
Guess who's a racist, who's turk hater and who's russofobic  :P
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Offline Paul

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #42 on: December 16, 2015, 02:47:19 pm »
0
Guess who's a racist, who's turk hater and who's russofobic  :P

The Turk hater is a mere racist but the russophob is a nazi. The very definition of nazi is someone who doesn't like Russians.

Offline Vovka

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #43 on: December 16, 2015, 02:58:06 pm »
0
The Turk hater is a mere racist but the russophob is a nazi. The very definition of nazi is someone who doesn't like Russians.
I have to inform your sponsor that you spend too much time on the forum in the spam section during working hours
sure I'll get a free hat or t-shirt  :P
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Offline the real god emperor

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Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
« Reply #44 on: December 16, 2015, 03:36:50 pm »
0
Russia gib gas pls