An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...(mean jokes)

[Panos_]

A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese go into a bar and order a drink. Who picks up the bill?

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A German.

[Panos_]

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece.
The mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered aloud how on earth he could afford such a house.

The Spaniard replied:‘You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to construct a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, I could build this place.’

The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek mayor's house: gold taps, marble floors, diamond doorknobs, it was marvellous.

When he asked how he’d raised the money to build this incredible house, the Greek mayor said:‘You see that bridge over there?’

The Spaniard replied:‘No.’

[Panos_]

A Catholic couple is about to get married, and the woman sits the man down for a heart-to-heart the day before the wedding. She says, "Honey, before we do this, I have something I need to get off my chest. You see, a few years back, my family was very poor, and for a while I had to work as a prostitute."

The man leaps out of his chair and shouts, "Oh no, absolutely not! I can't get married to you!"

The woman starts crying, and begs him to forgive her, "Please don't leave me - surely you can live with a woman who used to be a bit of a whore..."

The man sits down and says, "Oh, that's fine. For a minute I thought you said Protestant."

[Panos_]

A Catholic Priest and a Jewish Rabbi are hanging out at the park. A little boy walks by and the Priest says to the Rabbi: Wanna fuck him? The Rabbi replies: Out of what?

[Panos_]

NSFL :

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Chinese guy walks into a bar. Black bartender.
Chinese guy says, "Give me a jigger, friend."
Black bartender says, "Yo, man, that's not cool. You can't come in here and say that to me."
The Chinese guy just smiles from ear to ear. "Give me a jigger, friend."
The black bartender says, "How would you like it if you were behind the bar and I came up and said something like that to you?"
The Chinese guy shrugs, "I don't care."
So the Chinese guy gets behind the bar, the black bartender goes outside, walks in and says, "Give me a drink, chink!"

The Chinese guy says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve friends in here."

[Panos_]

OK one last and I`ll stop for today

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

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A: Punch her.

[Beauchamp]

girl gets completely drunk at a party and in the morning she wakes up below a cow. looking up she says: "well... the order is up to you guys, but the last one drives me home!"

Why wasn't Jesus born in Russia?

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He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

[Angantyr]

What's the difference between an Afghani Military Base and a Pakistani Elementary School?

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I don't know, I just fly the drone.

[darmaster]

Another good reason to reset the forums

[Angantyr]

What separates humans from the animals?

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The Mediterranean.

[pogosan]

[Clockworkkiller]

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Jap, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a bar...

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The doorman stops them and says sorry i cant let you in without a thai.

[Asheram]

An Italian, a Jew and a Greek... all die at the same time and find themselves in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells them "You three barely qualify for Heaven. You screw up one time here, and you're going to Hell!"
He tells the Italian "You're a glutton. You eat too much pasta. Have any pasta here, and you're going to Hell!"
He tells the Jew "You care too much about money. Don't even think about getting money here, or you're going to Hell!"
He tells the Greek "You fornicate too much. You'll bugger anything with a hole in it. If you even think about sex, you're going to Hell!"
So the three walk down Heaven's gold-paved streets until they pass an Italian restaurant. The Italian smells the delicious sauce and says "I think I'll have some lunch." The other two tell him "Don't go in there! You heard what St. Peter said about eating pasta!" The Italian says "Aw, they're not going to worry about one little plate of spaghetti."
He goes, orders a plate of spaghetti, and when he takes his first bite, he disappears.
So the Jew and Greek continue their walk. Soon, they see a ten-dollar bill laying on the sidewalk. The Jew walks toward it, and the Greek says "Don't pick up that ten-dollar bill! You heard what St. Peter said about getting money!"
The Jew says, "Aw they're not going to worry about ten measly dollars." So he bends over to pick up the bill, and the Greek disappears.

[Kafein]

A cRPG archer walks into a bar.

There is no counter.

[Asheram]

A cRPG plater tried to walk into a bar but couldn't fit through the door with all the arrows and throwing lances sticking from him.