Word from the GOBBLIN KING has just arrived, and the word is WAR MOTHERFUCKERS.
In his infinite wisdom, the GOBBLIN KING, has decided that New Reindi Castle is to kept as a spoil of war, instead of being returned to the Warriors of the First Age. The reasons for this is as follows:
First and foremost, your refusal of GOBBLIN KINGS mercy. In a shocking moment of humanity, the GOBBLIN KING looked down upon the Warriors of the First Age in PITY and decided to be merciful by offering to return New Reindi Castle to its former owners, in return for their vassalage. While deep down in their hearts, some GOBBLINS didn't feel the WFA were worthy or deserved the honor of being a vassal of the almighty GOBBLIN KING, the GOBBLIN HORDES had an enormous amount of respect (as well as fear) towards their King, and would follow his every command with unquestioning loyalty. However, In a fit of misplaced arrogance, the WFA recklessly refused the GOBBLIN KING'S offer of friendship and a chance to serve faithfully, by refusing this most generous offer. This has displeased the GOBBLIN KING greatly.
Secondly, the WFA's blatant disrespect and continued challenges towards the GOBBLIN KING's ABSOLUTE AUTHORITY as stated in extremely exaggerated RP posts. Not only was the GOBBLIN KING'S offer refused, it was disrespectfully slapped away and SHAT upon in the following RP post
After the battle...
"And then the rot skinned creature declared us his vassals! HAH!!! I laughed so hard I could barely hold my axe! With tears in my eyes I told the runt who called himself the "herald of the Goblin King" of how the Warriors of the First Age would gladly become the Goblin Kings vassals... that is after I had severed each of his limbs. His head came off cleanly afterward with that confused look on his face still stamped on it!"
"Radsvid, mellon (friend), you should not speak so lightly after these events. It is a cruel thing indeed that so soon after Anders joined our banners that his garrison was overwhelmed. Those men had looked over those walls for many a year and their hair was grey."
"Indeed Thalion Menelvagor, that was a sorrowful battle. The Goblin King and his minions may say what they wish. Methinks they would be speaking differently had they faced one of our forces. That battle may still yet come, but according to our scouts, the orcish horde has moved on in search of more plunder. We shall go forth and finally take this castle. It is unfortunate that instead of feasting, we must cleanse the stones of blood and rebuild those destroyed by the enemy's siege engines."
"Aye Finnian, yet my dwarven fold and I will be glad in part to move stone and mortar again, even though it not be that of the mountains, stone is stone!"
Thus the Warriors of the First Age finally came into full possession of Reindi Castle, though the sky above it was darker than before.
Upon reading this message, the GOBBLIN KING laughed so hard he shit his GOBBLIN armor, then used to the message to clean the shit out of his armor, after which he went to the archives and looked up the KDR of the WFA's members, and continued to laugh until he lost his voice.
While the GOBBLIN KING FEARS NO NERD WHO PRETENDS TO BE A DWARF, such challenges and disrespect cannot go unanswered as it insults the reputation of the GOBBLIN HORDES.
Last but not least, the WFA's repeated misspelling of GOBBLIN infuriates us. We will no longer tolerate being called goblins. if this terrible tradition continues, I will be forced to longer recognize The WFA, and instead will simply refer to them as HoC #2.
The WFA's disrespect, threats, and inability to spell GOBBLIN has forced the GOBBLIN KING'S HAND.
NO QUARTER WILL BE GIVEN. THE WFA'S VIRGINITY WILL BE FORCEFULLY TAKEN, YOUR EVERY ORIFICE IS NOW THE PROPERTY OF THE GOBBLIN HORDE. OUR JEW VASSALS HAVE MENDED OUR PLATE. ATTACK US IF YOU WISH BUT LET IT BE KNOWN THAT NO MAN FUCKING SHIT SHALL STAND AGAINST THE GOBBLIN HORDES. NO MAN, ELF, OR DWARF CAN DEFEAT THE GOBBLIN KING. LET WFA'S DEFEAT BE A LESSON TO EVERY FACTION, BECOME OUR VASSALS OR DIE.
DEATH TO THE WARRIORS OF THE FIRST AGE
