Author Topic: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND  (Read 9592 times)

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Offline SP1N

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #120 on: September 26, 2013, 04:59:01 am »
+5
The armies Anders mentioned are heading into a dangerous area.
Flocks of ravens and chaotic birds backed by dragoons and gobblins, not a smart place to be near, silly dogs.
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Offline KaMiKaZe_JoE

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #121 on: September 26, 2013, 05:49:09 am »
+20
Joe observed a scene of beauty, leaning out of the window of his room in the castle keep. The walls and towers of Nova Jelbegi castle were dusted with snow, and still more fell from a sky made silver by moonlight. Despite the hour, men and women roamed the streets below, buying and selling, their voices sending a steady murmur up to Joe from below. The sound reminded him of the ocean.

Joe put his head between his legs and sucked his own dick. The length of his cock made this maneuver easy.

After a few minutes of sucking his dick to no avail, he decided that he needed to cum, come hell or high water.

His dick was going down.

He ran to his dresser, flung the top drawer open, and slammed his dick in it. He was surprised by how much this hurt. He started to cry.

Now weeping, he ran from his room with his pants around his ankles. He ran down the stone stairs, falling on his face at the bottom. He wiped away his tears and, blubbering uncontrollably, kicked off his pants and regained his feet. He ran past Kesh's room, and out of the castle keep onto the streets below. People stared, awe-struck.

Joe sniffled. "I-I-I-I-I n-n-n-n-need my dick sucked." He stammered at the crowded city streets. Not knowing what else to do, he began to chant: "Dicks, dicks, dicks, dicks..."

A woman with a child cradled in her arms took up the chant. "Dicks, dicks, dicks, dicks..."

Then, the blacksmith. "Dicks! Dicks!"

A passing horse cried out in ecstasy, "DICKS! DIIIIIIIICKKKSS!"

The whole city was soon chanting in unison. All of Jelbegi was chanting "Dicks", and Joe was happy. They were all in agreement, then. He stopped chanting, but the crowd continued. He gestured towards the woman with the child, and she heeded his call, walking towards him as if in a trance. She got on her knees and, tossing the baby aside, started sucking Joe's dick, still garbling the wet chant of "Dicks!"

It felt good.

Then the blacksmith, then the horse, then the whole city surged toward Joe's penis. Everybody wanted a piece of the penis pie, and Joe was ready to serve it up baby, serve it up. Hundreds of tongues caressed his cock

A man approached, then. He was not chanting. He wore the heraldry of FCC, though Joe couldn't recognize his face. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Dicks!" Joe frowned. "Sorry. I'm roleplaying, is what I meant to say. Come, suck my dick with me." He put his head between his legs, and joined the sucking crowd.

Joe's frenzied typing was suddenly interrupted by the bursting open of the door to his dorm room. His roommate stumbled in, completely naked, a little drunk and sopping wet. He'd just showered. "Andrew," he slurred, "Andrew, I'm naked don't look." He fell, then got up again and stumbled to the window sill. "I didn't do my laundry, so I have to dry myself with paper towels." And he did just that, hissing like a cat while he did so.

Joe cracked open another can of Milwaukee Special Reserve Light. He drank, and his world spun a little. He lifted his head from his dick and stared out at the crowd of peasants and craftsmen, all of them chanting "Dicks, dicks!" He blinked, then removed his penis from the reach of their mouths. Confused, he backpedaled, falling off his bed and into a pile of empty beer cans on the floor.

He looked up, and saw a terrible creature. It was ugly, squat, and green. "THE GOBBLIN KING WISHES FOR THE PROUD CAVALIERES TO JOIN THE GOBBLIN HORDE!"

"Dad, please." Joe lurched to his feet and stumbled away from the ugly monster. He fell through the door to his room and rolled on the ground, into the hallway outside. The building was quiet at this hour.

The GOBBLIN KING chased Joe outside. "PLEASE RESPOND!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Joe screamed, then ran down the hallway and out of the building. He leapt upon the back of the nearest horse and kicked it into movement. It screamed and ran down the street, it's feet kicking against pavement.

After a while Joe pulled on the reigns and the horse stopped. He was in a dark forest somewhere, alone with the trees and chirping peepers and the moon. He looked around for a computer, wanting to type up another insulting roleplay, but all he saw were the silhouettes of trees and the shimmer of moonlight on pond, a few feet distant. He peed in it, shattering a perfect reflection of the moon with a healthy stream of urine.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2013, 05:55:21 am by KaMiKaZe_JoE »
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Offline dynamike

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #122 on: September 26, 2013, 06:15:22 am »
+8
I don't even know what I just read and I like it.
For while the fire in the heart of a single Remnant still burns... can Stratia truly have fallen?

Offline GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #123 on: September 26, 2013, 06:44:31 am »
+5
The GOBBLIN KING chased Joe outside. "PLEASE RESPOND!"

10/10

Offline Krosis

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #124 on: September 26, 2013, 03:45:20 pm »
+1
Well, at least we know that Daruvian has no respect for his own word. Tsk tsk. And here I thought that Daruvian would actually be true to his word. Just like all the other strat nerds and strat bads. Cares to much for pixels to be a true sportsman and listen to his own words.

He doesn't even deserve his GOBBLIN anymore. Only someone who shows he's worth that respect will get it.


Quote
I hope you actually target the south(west?) block too, and not just targets in the North (east?) block.

You started a grand war, lets see what happens now... :lol:

You sound like Kesh...

Offline Lt_Anders

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #125 on: September 26, 2013, 03:50:42 pm »
+1
You sound like Kesh...

Well, when he says all targets are his enemies, and then upon talking to him he says he won't attack 4 factions, all of which belong to one side. Yes, I'll be suspect until he proves otherwise.
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Offline Krosis

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #126 on: September 26, 2013, 03:58:03 pm »
+1
Well, when he says all targets are his enemies, and then upon talking to him he says he won't attack 4 factions, all of which belong to one side. Yes, I'll be suspect until he proves otherwise.

GOBBLIN King can do as he pleases, attack anyone at any time in any fashion!

Stop trying to persuade him to attack a certain part of the map, it's somewhat funny coming from you, with the neutral stance... and well it wouldn't work anyway.


You just sound butthurt.

Offline Canuck

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #127 on: September 26, 2013, 04:08:15 pm »
+4
I'm assuming he isn't attacking certain people because of RP purposes, some have already pledged their allegiance to the REALM OF THE GOBBLIN KING

Offline Lt_Anders

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #128 on: September 26, 2013, 04:33:37 pm »
0
GOBBLIN King can do as he pleases, attack anyone at any time in any fashion!

Stop trying to persuade him to attack a certain part of the map, it's somewhat funny coming from you, with the neutral stance... and well it wouldn't work anyway.


You just sound butthurt.

Sound butthurt? Even if I still had my castle and he was attacking others, I'd still call him out on it.
BTW the four factions are: FUPA(joined him, understandable), Astralis, LCO, Frisia. At least, that's who he claims.

I just want him to actually live up to his promise of "XP for everyone." If he only targets "one block" so to speak, then I'll deride him. Of course, they have only attacked 1 faction, so I'll wait and see. I do believe he WILL target both blocks, but until he proves it, I won't stop deriding him. Same as any other faction that makes lofty promises and refuses to  go through with them.

For more info:
Quote
The Frisian Freedom
Les Chevalier Occitans
The Kingdom of Erzoth
Knights Union of the Tundra Territories
The Republic of Mates
Free United Peoples of Ahmerrad
Astralis

So if FCC and TKOV join this, what's left? every small faction. That's already basically 1 block. Like, yea, that's not "GOBBLIN HORDE ATTACKS WHOEVER" it's "I Attack the other side cause I don't like them." It's Hypocritical really. Only FUPA actually joined him, none of the other factions have, so, until they join the GOBBLIN KING, I'll deride daruvian's little "adventure" as nothing more than another face in the already stale NA war.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2013, 04:37:10 pm by Lt_Anders »
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Offline Krosis

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #129 on: September 26, 2013, 04:47:03 pm »
-1
Quote
I just want him to actually live up to his promise of "XP for everyone."

Clearly that's not what you want.. because it shouldn't matter who he attacks as long as there's attacks that give out xp.

Offline Lt_Anders

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #130 on: September 26, 2013, 04:52:52 pm »
+1
Clearly that's not what you want.. because it shouldn't matter who he attacks as long as there's attacks that give out xp.

BTW, If I didn't want XP for everyone, the first Reindi Battle wouldn't have happened.

If you are going to play talking head, at least try and be intelligent and respond to the whole post instead of Kesh posting a response to 1 line in that post.
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Offline Matey

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #131 on: September 26, 2013, 05:54:53 pm »
+4
I share anders skepticism. But hey, either Daruvian will surprise me by living up to his RP or he will just send lots of attacks out on behalf of mega-block #1 and I'll get a bunch of xp fighting in more battles. It's win win.

Offline Krosis

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #132 on: September 26, 2013, 06:14:06 pm »
0
BTW, If I didn't want XP for everyone, the first Reindi Battle wouldn't have happened.

If you are going to play talking head, at least try and be intelligent and respond to the whole post instead of Kesh posting a response to 1 line in that post.

the rest of your post is pretty much all about how why you're deriding him and how you think he's going to attack both blocks but you will still deride him until he does..


and honestly, who gives a shit what you think.. he doesn't.

Like I said, you care about xp for everyone yet you were sitting in that castle the whole strat without provoking or attacking on your own, I understand you have limited resources, but we shouldn't be thanking you for the xp on reindi when you had all strat to prepare for such a thing and even then had mediocre gear.

btw your "intelligence" insults are hilarious, keep em coming.

Offline GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #133 on: September 26, 2013, 06:39:35 pm »
+11
Well, when he says all targets are his enemies, and then upon talking to him he says he won't attack 4 factions, all of which belong to one side. Yes, I'll be suspect until he proves otherwise.

So if FCC and TKOV join this, what's left? every small faction. That's already basically 1 block. Like, yea, that's not "GOBBLIN HORDE ATTACKS WHOEVER" it's "I Attack the other side cause I don't like them." It's Hypocritical really. Only FUPA actually joined him, none of the other factions have, so, until they join the GOBBLIN KING, I'll deride daruvian's little "adventure" as nothing more than another face in the already stale NA war.

Yo m8 you've never talked to me about who I will and won't attack, so I don't know where you heard that (wrong) second-hand information from. If you mean it's from the post saying who are my vassals, you should know being my vassal doesn't mean I won't attack you and assimilate you.

What kind of a view point is "WHAT IF EVERY BIG FACTION NA JOINS HIM? LOL THAT WOULD BE SO STUPID. THEN IT'S JUST ONE BIG BLOCK"... Surely having a totally new event in Strategus would be so terrible as compared to the last three months of no XP and castle camping. Well we don't think so because we have an end game designed for when (if) we conquer all of NA Strategus.

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The people in this community feel to entitled to judge and presume about the intentions of factions like mine. People don't attack for weeks, months, half a year, a whole year... and then they come to me on Steam or on the forums and try to critique every little action I make down to my themed gear; it's humorous. It is standard internet procedure--contribute nothing, critique everything.

Also you forgot the existence of HoC, MB, and Chopass. Don't you worry though I'll prove the strength of THE REALM OF THE GOBBLIN KING in due time. It's not easy organizing a faction entirely by yourself, you know? Stuff takes time and strategy.

Everyone just stop worrying and forum posting and just go back to being AFK or talking about how FCC/Frisia/Occitan/LL is gay or something until I get my shit together.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2013, 06:45:18 pm by GOBBLIN KING GREAT LEADER »

Offline Phantasmal

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Re: THE ADVENT OF THE GOBBLIN KING IS AT HAND
« Reply #134 on: September 26, 2013, 07:57:54 pm »
+16
I pledge my allegiance to the GOBBLIN KING! May he rescue NA strat from the XP drought of the last two weeks.
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