The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians

[Relit]

From a nearby snowy hill top overlooking Yruma Castle, the Chieftain watched and listened as the Crusaders celebrated their victories.

"Why are these fools celebrating? We have butchered their peasants and take from their lands whatever we wish, as they sit in their castle drinking.", he said to nobody in particular. The men standing around him, his men of distinction, watched and waited.

"Perhaps they would be more keen to come forth from their castle if we impaled a few hundred of their people before this castle, if they truly are men of honor and sworn to protect their people then they must come out." said Artyem of Dracul, as he walked up with his own procession of men.

"Agreed. I think it is time we showed these 'holy warriors' its not just the Frisians who they should be scared of." the Chieftain replied as he motioned for Shadow Axebitten to approach.

"Take the village elder of  New Karindi and preform the blood eagle."

Shadow Axebitten had no expression on his face as he walked away to do as he was ordered. But all the men knew that he would be smiling soon.

[njames89]

Knowing that in times of war the good people of the villages of the countryside suffer it brought James great pain to see the enemy butchering innocent civilians. The enemy thought this would cause his men to foolishly fight in unfavorable conditions. Having experienced this tactic before James was quick to explain to his men that while the enemies of Acre could kill and maim the peasantry of Karindi or Slezkh they would gain no ground from such tactics. "They will have to answer for these crimes of war upon our beloved plebs I SWEAR IT BEFORE chadz" James exclaimed as he slammed his fists on the ramparts.

Knowing nothing could be done for the Elder James swiftly issued the order and dispatched riders to take the remaining peasants into Yruma so they may shelter in the courtyard safe from the reach of the twisted Raven torturers.

[Equal]

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[njames89]

On the night of the 4th siege of Yruma James and King Reinhardt stood on the southern wall of the castle looking out towards the enemy encampment. The King, having seen to the defenses of the castle was running over some final strategic preparations with James. "The enemy has been employing heavy use of siege equipment have the mercenaries arrived?" the King asked. "Yes sir we have brought in the finest crossbowmen and archers in the area as well as several renowned eastern knights" James replied. "Good, prepare the men the enemy will attack soon" replied the King as he walked off down the wall to talk with Cameron and Delson on watch in the gatehouse tower.

Informants had delivered knowledge to the Crusaders that the enemy planned to attack just before midnight. As he looked out to the valleys below James noticed that it was beggining to snow and a slight fog was rolling in. A good omen for certain. The men were prepared and had been briefed on the likely enemy tactics. All that was left now was to wait.

***

The snows had truly been a blessing. Their catapults slaughtered their own troops as they climbed to the walls of Yruma. Their men lay frozen dead covered by the snows that guaranteed the safety of Yruma. As the fight raged the snows and fog intensified, effectively disabling enemy siege teams. The Crusaders and the skilled mercenaries that had been brought in for the defense were able to use the conditions to their advantage and fight back attackers even through a breach of the castle wall.

Losses had been minimized and equipment uses next to none. The castle was in stellar shape considering the recent assaults. Morale was high as the men congratulated each other on a successful defense, all knowing that more would come. James couldn't help but take the snows and fog as a sign from above that Acre's mission had the divine blessing of chadz.

Thanks to swift riding by Cameron 400 crates of the finest EU whiskey had been smuggled into Yruma under cover of darkness on his way back from his EU vacation, thus making it a strategic faction movement. James arranged for several of the crates to be stored in his office and retired for the eve.

[Artyem]

It was a very cold night, and the Raven / Dragoni alliance had suffered yet another loss in their siege on New Yruma.  Morale was getting low, and the troops were looking to be entertained.

"Dracul is shit, gf" said Carac, the leader of the army that had just retreated.

"Fuck Ravens" replied Artyem.

"dolla dolla bill, yall" chipped in Bataan, son of Vesarius.

The camp was then filled with chatter, everyone was discussing the next siege and how we would one day crush their skulls and take their wrongfully earned home.  Necro said something about splitting protons with his dick to his squire, Random Pizza Guy, who had just returned from a pizza delivery.

Damn that guy can make a good pizza.

[Apollo]

Apollo sits on his toilet and ponders the latest plight at Yruma Castle.

These crusader ninnies declare war on the beloved, gay supporting Frisians, but only attack once? Now they cower with fear in their castle and taunt all the realms of Caldaria.  Being a crusader by definition means to attack aggressively. Even as the most competent engineers bombard their walls with sacks of shit and semen from the camps, the shitlord crusaders hold their walls with a false sense of pride. What did they do to deserve this castle?  How have they not strangled themselves from being so bad?  Why is that gatehouse impenetrable? Why do women have rights?

All these questions Apollo cannot answer.

As Apollo gingerly wipes his asshole and lower ball area (necessity from splashes), he proceeds to throw the rag at a rough sketch of the king of the "crusaders", (enclosed).

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Apollo released he suddenly had better shit to do.  The whispering winds of shit carry him to a land far away, known as "DOTA" where there are more worthy opponents.

[Sandersson Jankins]

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Please note that Acre has attacked as many times as The Republic of Hoff.

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one of those was a fief transfer

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before you say some shit about them being gang-banged they had roughly 1 and 1/2 months to attack us after they declared war in this topic, but they performed only one attack

[BaleOhay]

if you are going to be using the... They have not attacked and do not deserve that castle game. They have had it for over a month. I can point at a couple of groups who have done about the same with a much longer time frame... yet I do not see you all trying to take their land from them.

[BaleOhay]

maybe when he realized you had the backing of 85% of the map defense was the better part of good sense.


Why when LCo was doing nothing but defending against Tkov did we not hear these same cries of shame?

[Keshian]

the shitlords crusaders hold their walls with a false sense of pride.  Apollo sits on his toilet and ponders the latest plight at Yruma Rindyar Castle.

What did they do to deserve this castle?  How have they not strangled themselves from being so bad? 


Apollo released he suddenly had better shit to do.  The whispering winds of shit carry him to a land far away, known as "DOTA" where there are more worthy opponents.

Fixed.     Also, good riddance - may all the shitlords join you and daruvian and make this community so much better without being filled with juvenile insults, poop and gay jokes of 12 year olds in the "something awful" gaming group.  Also, Crusaders actually paid for their castle ina  business transaction - they didn't just suck FCC cock like Frisians did at the time for Rindyar castle.

[Bronto]

Fixed.     Also, good riddance - may all the shitlords join you and daruvian and make this community so much better without being filled with juvenile insults, poop and gay jokes of 12 year olds in the "something awful" gaming group.  Also, Crusaders actually paid for their castle ina  business transaction - they didn't just suck FCC cock like Frisians did at the time for Rindyar castle.

Just wanted to point this out. I have no dog in this fight so to speak, just don't like people being hypocritical is all.

[Keshian]

Oh yeah - thanks for reminding me - halmar by sucking Raven cock, never once fighting a castle or city attack yourself.  i have to admit Frisians have some of the top pro cocksuckers in crpg.  hats off to you.

[Nightingale]

maybe when he realized you had the backing of 85% of the map defense was the better part of good sense.

I almost thought of something witty to say... but then I realized you were the leader of BS. 

[Jack1]

never once fighting a castle or city attack yourself.

I have done this many times, assuming you meant that word for word.

I believe that not all small factions have the luxury to attack castles/cities as much as others, assuming you meant attacking and not fighting

Why when LCo was doing nothing but defending against Tkov did we not hear these same cries of shame?

Probably because VE declared war upon Occitan and then they attacked. We never declared war on acre.

[Keshian]

I believe that not all small factions have the luxury to attack castles/cities as much as others, assuming you meant attacking and not fighting

You guys recruit like crazy and are actually one of the larger factions on the map with 38 members as of the NA wars and alliances page with a significant portion very active from looking at your battle rosters.  Larger than ravens and dracul in playerbase and yet they seem to have the balls to actually attack a castle and a city.  They actually had to take Halmar for you since you didn't have the organization to take Halmar yourself.