This is a great plan.
approaches girl
girl: hey you need somethin?
dude: I am building a siege tower!
girl: what?
dude: I am building a siege tower! I need help at the siege tower! ... Man the siege tower!
girl: ...
dude: I am defending the flag! Defend the flag carrier!
girl: ok well my friends are waiting for me over there, so... c ya.
dude: Those Bastaaards!
girl splashes drink in face.
...
...
...
dude: You'll pay with your life!
Cops show up
dude: shoot! shoot! shoot! Retreeeat!
*dude approaches girl*
dude: I need help
girl: oh hello there, how can I help you?
dude: Follow me! I need help!
*she follows him into some back alley*
dude: I am attacking! Open the gate!
girl: what?
*he stairs at her ass*
dude: open the gate!
girl: ok, this is a bit weird, I'm gonna go
*he suddenly grabs her*
dude: Infantry! Hooooooooooooooooooold!
girl: omg, what are you doing?
dude: I am opening the gate!
girl: omg nooooo, dont touch me, somebody help!
dude: No! (silent)
dude: I am attacking! I'm going for the flag!
girl: I beg you, I'm still a virgin. Not there, not there!
*he bends her over and positions her into doggy style*
dude: I am deploying equipment!
dude: Incoming infantry from behind!
girl: AAAAAAAA
dude: FOR THE DAWWWG!!!
*some time later*
dude: shoot! shoot! shoot! Release Arrows!
Archerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs!
The End.