Joe stood on a windy hill top, looking down on a dismal scene. Some distance away, the village of New Ayyike was besieged, encircled by an army whose tents and patrols bore a red banner.
He couldn't make out the heraldry, but he knew that Le Chevaliers Occitans had Ayyike surrounded.
He turned to face his beloved Champion Courser. "Chevaliers," he spat. "The good Cavalieres."
She gave him a worried look. "I don't think either of those are things anymore, Joe."
He mounted her, a single, fluid motion. "Lies," he said, "Evil, Hospitaller rumors. Don't let those EU vassal scum put lies into your head like that."
They galloped back to the rest of Joe's army, and after deliberating with his subordinates, decided that now would be the best time to reinforce Ayyike.
Joe lead his army towards the Occitanian fortifications at a brisk trot, in single file. He had so many horses that most of his men were able to ride on two horses at once, which doubled their rate of movement.
The train of mounted soldiers moved steadily towards the enemy's perimeter. Tents and barricades loomed before them, and red banners flew.
Then, suddenly, they were amongst them.
Men with twirly mustaches in bright chainmail stood in small groups on either side of Joe's still-moving army, but none made a move to intercept them. The air was filled with the enemy's strange language.
Champion Courser whispered. "What are they saying? Why aren't they stopping us?"
"I do not know, my love," Joe hissed back. "They're speaking Spanish, and so are likely busy with their quesadillas."
Her eyes widened, but her face steeled itself with new resolve. She continued to weave through clumps of soldiers. "Remember the Maine," she said.
Joe's gaze took in the armored men. They all seemed busy eating their strange, flat sandwiches to pay Joe's 400 strong army any attention. Their mustaches were gooey with cheese. Joe and company managed to get inside the village without any trouble.
What he found shocked him.
More of the Spanish dogs. They filled every crack and crevice of the small village, intermingled with FCC soldiers.
Kesh approached, smiling. "Joe," she said, "Glad to see you could make it." She followed his worried gaze. "Don't worry about them, they're just waiting to besiege us after the upcoming battle."
"I see. They were all to busy with their panini's to bother us outside." He dismounted and saluted his leader. "Remember the Maine!"
"Yeah, Joe. We'll make them suffer for, whatever that means."
