In the place of a post containing a deluge of drama of the likeness to llamas, I instead I submit to the autistic fopwits of this community, a translation of the great poem of Beowulf.
                   -Finnian Tiercel, 
A son was soon brought forth to him ( Scyld Scefing, the good king, 
still) young in this land, whom God sent to the people for relief; 
(Beowulf) perceived the dire distress 
15 that they before suffered a long while without a king;  The Lord, 
Lord of Life of Heaven, had granted him (Beowulf) worldly honor, 
Beowulf, son of Scyld, was renowned-- (his) glory widely spread in the 
land of the Danes. 
  
 
20 Thus shall the young man, (while) in his father's lap, goodness carry 
out, and often give out splendid costly gifts, that dear companions in 
old age, when war comes, serve the person; lofty deeds 
  
  
 
25 for the tribe shall on every occasion (cause) one to prosper. 
Scyld went, he who was very strong, to the fated hour in to the Lord's 
keeping; 
28-31 As long as words came to him, Scyld, friend of the Danes, dear 
prince of the land, bade that they bear him away on the current of the 
waters (just as) one's own companion. 
  
 
32-> At the harbor stood a ring-prowed ship, vessel of a prince, covered 
with ice and ready to set out, the dear beloved king,
35 dispenser of the circlet, laid down in the lap of the ship, whose 
mast was glorious.  The ship made ready to burn, there were many 
precious valuables of decorated armor brought from distant lands, I know 
no guardian so nobly kept with weopons, armor, 
 
40 and sword; He in the lap lay on the multitudinous precious treasure, 
that with him should far in the floods (be his) possession.  They 
furnished no less their little gift, people's treasure, 
 
45 than did they in the beginning when he was sent forth alone as a 
child.
Then they set a golden banner 
high over his head, let the water carry him, 
gave him unto the sea;  sad was their spirit, 
mournful their hearts.  Men, neither hall-counselors, 
 nor warriors under the heavens, cannot 
say truthfully  who received the cargo.
        Then in the cities (fortified places) was Beow(ulf) of the Scyldings, 
beloved king of the people, who was for a long time 
renowned among nations  -- his father had gone elsewhere, 
lord away from his land --, until later 
great Healfdene was born to him;  as long as he lived, 
old and fierce in battle, he upheld the glorious Scyldings. 
To him then four children all told 
were born into the world, to the leader of the bands, 
Heorogar and Hrothgar and Halga the good, 
I (have) heard that  [.... was Onela's queen, 
dear bed-companion of the Swede (Heatho-Scilfing).
        Then was Hrothgar given success in war, 
glory in battle, so that his retainers 
gladly obeyed him, until that youth grew 
into a great band of young warriors. It came to his mind 
that he would command men to make a hall-building, 
a great mead-hall that the children of men should hear of forever, 
and there in the hall, he would give 
 to the young and the old all that God had given him, 
except folkshare (common-land) and the bodies of the warriors. 
Then I (have) heard that work was bidden among 
many nations far and wide throughout this middle-earth, 
that they should adorn the dwelling-place.  In time it came to pass, 
--speedily among men-- that it was finished, 
the greatest of hall buildings;  the poet named it Heorot, 
he who ruled far and wide with his words. 
He didn't fail to perform a promise, gave out 
rings and treasure at the feast.  The hall stood tall, 
high and wide-gabled; it would wait the hostile flame 
of hateful fires; nor was it long then (yet), 
that the sword-hate (between) father-in-law and son-in-law 
should arise after deadly hate.
Then the powerful demon, he who dwelled in darkness, suffered impatiently 
each of the days he heard the loud joy in the hall; there was the sound of 
the harp, the clear song of the bard. He (the bard) sang plainly the 
creation of mankind far quoted [well known far and wide], said that the 
Almighty created the earth, the beautiful field, which the water 
surrounds,<;> set triumphant the sun and moon, luminary to light the 
land-dweller <;> and adorned the regions of the earth with light and leaf, 
and created life for each living thing that moves.  So the warriors 
mirthfully lived, happily, until that one, a fiend from hell, approached 
doing wicked deeds; he was the grim ghost called Grendel, famous wanderer in 
the waste borderland, he who held the moors, fen and fast <dry land>; <the> 
unhappy man occupied for a time the home of a race of monsters, since the 
Creator had condemned him with Cain's kin -- the killing <begat> misery 
<from> the eternal Lord, because he <Cain> slew Able; he <Cain> had no joy 
there from the feud, but God banished him far from mankind for his crime. 
Then the evil brood all awoke, giants and elves and monsters (orcs!!), <who 
were> also giants. Then they strove against God a long time; he <God> repays 
(them) that reward. He <Grendel> departs to go see, when night comes, the 
exalted houses, how the High Danes had stayed <there in the house> after 
beer drinking. He then discovers there inside <the house> the prince's 
retainers asleep after the banquet; the men knew not <replace with 
"neither"> sadness <nor> misery. 
  
Right. Here's my translation (this stuff is fantastic!!):
(lights to dim, please. . . start the heroic music and pipe in the fog--more 
fog--and . . . ACTION!)
(hear the wet sounds of enormous feet shmucking and smacking in the mud; 
hear the rasped breathing of our character as he glides slowly through the 
moore clutching what appears to be a crushed hoard of limp bodies swaying 
with his haunched gait. . . )
(Ln.#120b)Creature of illness and evil, fierce and greedy, savage and 
furious, was ready soon enough and seized thirty thanes from their sleep; 
with proud plunder he went away again, going home with that abundant 
slaughter seeking out a dwelling (pl. wica but sing. meaning). 
(Ln.#126)Then, in that obscurity just before dawn, even with daybreak, the 
war-craft of Grendel was known to men; then, after feast, lament and much 
morning-cry was upraised. The mighty chief, noble king old-good, sat 
unhappy, endured thane-sorrow, and suffered severely after they scanned the 
foe's footprints, those of the cursed demon. That strife was too 
strong--loathed and lengthy! Nor was it a long time, after but one night, he 
again caused more murder-death and mourned not for it, hostile deed and 
wicked act; he was so fixed upon them. (Ln.#138)Then that was easily found, 
bed among bowers, to him that sought rest eslewhere, further off [from the 
hall, that is], when the hate of hall-thanes was shown to him, truely told 
with clear token; he held himself afterwards further back and safer, he who 
escaped the foe. (Ln.#144)Thus he ruled, one against all, and fought against 
what is right until the finest hall stool idle. The space of time was great, 
the time of twelve winters the friend of Scyldings suffered trouble, all 
miseries, spacious sorrows; and thus to men, to human sons, [it] became 
clearly known [and] sadly by means of songs that Grendel fought--waged 
enmity--a while against Hrothgar with wicked act and hostile deed for many 
seasons, continual attack; (Ln.#154b)he would not with any men in the army 
of the danes desist deadly-evil, with fees settle peace, nor then any 
wisemen needed to hope for bright bounty at the hands of the slayer. 
  
but the monster, dark death-shadow, was pursuing, 
[it] lay in wait and ambushed proven retainers and young warriors; 
perpetual night held the misty moors;  men do not know 
whither such demons in motion go. 
  Thus many wicked deeds of the enemy of mankind, 
[the] terrible solitary one often accomplished, 
severe injury;  [he/Grendel] inhabited Heorot, 
richly decorated hall, with dark night;- 
never may he approach the throne, 
treasure for God, nor know His kind thoughts.- 
That was great misery to the friend of the Scyldings, 
[a] breaking of [their] spirits.  Many often sat down, 
mighty in council, campaign considered, 
what might be best for the strong-minded 
to do against awful horror 
Meanwhile they vowed at heathen temples, 
sacrificing to idols, with words entreated 
soul-slayer to provide them with help 
against the distress of the people.  Such was their custom, 
heathens' hope, they bore hell in spirit, they knew not God, 
the judge of deeds, they wished not God, 
Nor indeed did they know how to praise Heaven's Protector, 
Ruler of Glory.  Woe be to them that through sever affliction thrust 
[their] soul into the fire's embrace, not to think of solace, 
in any way change!  Well be them that may on account of death-day, seek the 
Lord 
and ask for protection from the embrace of the Father. 
Thus in the care of the times the son of Healfdene 
always brooded; the wise hero might not turn aside misery; 
that strife was too strong, grievous and enduring, then cruel violent 
persecution 
befell the nation, the greatest night-evil.
 So that from the home of the Gaets, Hyglac's thane, learned by inquiry (with 
good) of Gendel's deeds.  On that day of his life of mankind, he was 
strongest of might, noble and great.  He called (that) a good wave-traverser 
(be) prepared  said, he wished to visit the war-king over the swan-road, the 
famous chief since, he was in need of men, (Done?) the wise men blame him 
very little for the expedition, he was beloved to them;  they urged the 
valient, behold the omen.  The good, from the tribe of the Gaets, had chosen 
brave warriors who he might find, one of fifteen, the men sought the ship, 
he showed the way of the shore to the sea-skilled men, time went forth;  the 
ship was on the waves, the boat under the cliffs.  The warriors went 
entirely to the prow, the sea (became?), water with sand;  Men bore bright 
weapons on the bosom of the boat, adorned armor;  Men shoved the (wudu 
bundenne), men on a wished journey.  Then over the billowy sea, impelled by 
wind like a bird, the foamy-necked ship (?), until the near of the other day 
the curved prow had come, the seaferers saw the sea cliffs shine, the steep 
cliffs, the large headlands;  Then was the sea crossed, sea voyage at the 
end, Thence upwards quickly, the people of the Gaets, stepped onto the land; 
moored the ship;  shirts of mail rattled, wardress;  They thanked God that 
the  way across the waves became easy to them.