Author Topic: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)  (Read 30983 times)

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Offline LordBerenger

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Offline IR_Kuoin

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #151 on: June 09, 2012, 03:27:30 am »
+1
Elf for winner!
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Offline Nasturtium

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #152 on: June 09, 2012, 04:37:52 am »
+1
I am working 12 hour shifts till tuesday so expect me to delete all my looms and jizz all over my screen while recording it for you assholes  :shock: announce a winners by froonsday.

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Offline RandomDude

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #153 on: June 09, 2012, 02:30:11 pm »
0
Nice ><

What about updating the OP with all the stories spoilered to make it easier for people to read them and stuff?

Offline oohillac

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #154 on: June 09, 2012, 03:13:42 pm »
0
Nice ><

What about updating the OP with all the stories spoilered to make it easier for people to read them and stuff?

YES YES YES

Offline djavo

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #155 on: June 10, 2012, 01:09:38 am »
+1
I put great effort in this:


   It all started when our overrated adventurer, chadz, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly frustrated, chadz grabbed a gerbil, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). As if it really mattered he realized that his beloved money was missing!  Immediately he called his so-called best friend, Loooshus. chadz had known Loooshus for (plus or minus) 153 years, the majority of which were curious ones.  Loooshus was unique. He was smart though sometimes a little... funny-smelling. chadz called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

   Loooshus picked up to a very glad chadz. Loooshus calmly assured him that most venomous koalas yawn before mating, yet legless puppies usually surreptitiously yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting chadz.  Why was Loooshus trying to distract chadz?  Because he had snuck out from chadz's with the money only three days prior.  It was a striking little money... how could he resist?

   It didn't take long before chadz got back to the subject at hand: his money. Loooshus yawned. Relunctantly, Loooshus invited him over, assuring him they'd find the money. chadz grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Loooshus realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the money and he had to do it deftly. He figured that if chadz took the Jap Trap, he had take at least five minutes before chadz would get there.  But if he took the Donkey?  Then Loooshus would be abnormally screwed.

   Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Loooshus was interrupted by eight insensitive squirels that were lured by his money. Loooshus belched; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling worried, he thoughtfully reached for his wolverine and thoughtfully stroked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the haunted thicket, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief.  That's when he heard the Donkey rolling up.  It was chadz.

----o0o----

   As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Wal-Mart to pick up a 12-pack of potatos, so he knew he was running late.  With a inept leap, chadz was out of the Donkey and went indiscriminately jaunting toward Loooshus's front door.  Meanwhile inside,  Loooshus was panicking.  Not thinking, he tossed the money into a box of bananas and then slid the box behind his giraffe. Loooshus was stunned but at least the money was concealed.  The doorbell rang.

   'Come in,' Loooshus surreptitiously purred.  With a inept push, chadz opened the door.  'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some annoying self-righteous ass in a noise-polluting import,' he lied.  'It's fine,' Loooshus assured him. chadz took a seat conveniently far from where Loooshus had hidden the money. Loooshus shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness.  'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted.  But chadz was distracted. Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, Loooshus noticed a insensitive look on chadz's face. chadz slowly opened his mouth to speak.

   '...What's that smell?'

   Loooshus felt a stabbing pain in his ear when chadz asked this.  In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the money right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what?  I don't smell anything..!'  A lie.  A dimwitted look started to form on chadz's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's wolverines from when she used to have pet man-eating capybaras.  She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. chadz nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Loooshus could react, chadz deftly lunged toward the box and opened it.  The money was plainly in view.

   chadz stared at Loooshus for what what must've been three hours. A few unfulfilled decades later, Loooshus groped charismatically in chadz's direction, clearly desperate. chadz grabbed the money and bolted for the door.  It was locked. Loooshus let out a eccentric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, chadz,' he rebuked. Loooshus always had been a little oafish, so chadz knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Loooshus did something crazy, like... start chucking potatos at him or something. Just as zero people expected he gripped his money tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

   Loooshus looked on, blankly. 'What the hell?  That seemed excessive.  The other door was open, you know.' Silence from chadz. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for chadz. 'Oh.  You ..okay?' Still silence. Loooshus walked over to the window and looked down. chadz was gone.

----o0o----

   Just yonder, chadz was struggling to make his way through the foxy forest behind Loooshus's place. chadz had severely hurt his scalp during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength.  Another pack of feral squirels suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the money.  One by one they latched on to chadz.  Already weakened from his injury, chadz yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed.  The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of squirels running off with his money.

   About four hours later, chadz awoke, his armpit throbbing.  It was dark and chadz did not know where he was.  Deep in the broad fanstic pumpkin patch, chadz was abnormally lost. Absolutely thrilled, he remembered that his money was taken by the squirels. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life.  That's when, to his horror, a bloated squirel emerged from the bush.  It was the alpha squirel. chadz opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the squirel sunk its teeth into chadz's ear. With a faint groan, the life escaped from chadz's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

   Less than nine miles away, Loooshus was entombed by anguish over the loss of the money.  'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened dangerous oil-soaked rag.  With a hasty thrust, he buried it deeply into his fingernail.  As the room began to fade to black, he thought about chadz... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him.  But he would die alone that day.  All that remained was the money that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise.  And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant squirels, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come.  Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead.  So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(
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Offline mcdeath

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #156 on: June 10, 2012, 02:28:00 am »
-1
I am doing too much work for school right now so I can't do this myself but please winner donate to me a loom point.
McDeath: This guy doesn't shut his lip, but he's one of the funniest players in-game.

Offline IR_Kuoin

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #157 on: June 10, 2012, 02:30:25 am »
0
I am doing too much work for school right now so I can't do this myself but please winner donate to me a loom point.

I did my essay AT school  :lol:
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Offline Gomer

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #158 on: June 10, 2012, 06:34:36 am »
-5
Gomers Submission

(Please give + or -)
(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: June 10, 2012, 08:27:41 am by Gomer »
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Offline PieParadox

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #159 on: June 10, 2012, 06:39:59 am »
+5
Hot elf princess' essay may be the best work of our time.

Offline Klauwaert

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #160 on: June 10, 2012, 07:46:40 am »
-1
The unfortunate assasination of chadz.
By A_Hot_Elf_Princess
Fief of Glunmar Elementary School, Grade 3

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One day in the enchanted forst a elf was playing game on her computer (it is made of vines and leafs and the mouse is a big acorn). She was a elf princess. She was playingh the game "CRPG" for Mound & Blade computer game. the elf was playing realy good and was at the top of board. She shooted her bow and hit pheasant. She shotted her bow and kill a horse. "Sorry horsey" she said, but it wasnt the horses fault. His owner was an Evil Night. Then she shooted the Evil Knight because he was SLOW and made a fat joke at him.
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   The evil night died but he came back soon. He was really angery and told his hole team “kill the elf she is not worth living!” They couldnot find her because she was in the hey stack and hiding. The evil knight said “we have lost our pray, now we wil have to find someone else to get!” and all the bad soldiers agreed. As they marshed across the land kiling everyone, the Evil Night turned around and told them “wait our own guys is archer” and they killed the archer and there score went down but they did not care because they were very angery mob.
   The Evil Knight found his new target later. It was the king of the city chadz. He was a good king and gave coins to his pesents so they could go buy a candy bar at the store if they harvestered all their wheat and finched their home work on time. But the Evil Nihgt was angery about his died, and he went to fight king chadz.
King chadz was havin a feast right when the Evil Night attacked. He said “oh not now!” and stood up real fast. His food fell, all the equus africanus asinus hambubgers, his smashed potatos, all the peas, and even his milk got spilled.
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   The evil night nocked on his castle door and said “chaz I come for you’re blood now! I lost my hunt and now you will pay!” chadz was scared because his army was on vacation at Disney world this week. They went to the beach too and drank out of a coconut. He put on his armor and sord and says to himself “I will do my best but I cant beat them all allone”
Juts then, a window breaked and the elf princess came in. she said “elfs are good at hearing and I hear you are in troubel good king.. that bad night is after me” they made a high five and kicked the door to go  beat the Evil Night.
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Evil night was listening the whole tim and he was ready to murder! He took out his big axe and said “come fight me I will chop your head off! And then I will kick it out the window!” his army was so scared they hided under the tables and slipped on chadz’s spilled food.
Chads fought with honor and power but the evil night was making a rage at him. He almost nocked the sord out of chaz hands seven times! The elf princess took out her bow & arrows and made her aim. She waited for the perfect time to shot her arrow into the evil night and make his end.
She let go of her fingers and the arrow went. chadz moved in the way and it went threw the middle of his head and he died
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WHAT THE FUCK. EVERY TIME. TAKE OFF THAT HELMET IT IS MADE OF MAGNETS THAT SUCK MY BODKINS RIGHT INTO YOUR BRAIN YOU TARDJOB. PRESS M. I DARE YOU PRESS M AND SEE WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS NEXT
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Best one till now. Gotta love the pictures.  :twisted:

Offline Gomer

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #161 on: June 10, 2012, 07:52:14 am »
-3
For the record, let the judges of this contest be impartial towards the illustrations contained in this or any other essay posted.  As stated, this is an essay contest.  Essay are composed of words and not pictures therefore judgment on the best essay must be restrained to the quality and content of the words alone.

 :P  I'm sure it will be very entertaining nonetheless.

Best one till now. Gotta love the pictures.  :twisted:
Pictures are not supposed to be part of it! Unfair advantage!!!! :O
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Offline FRANK_THE_TANK

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #162 on: June 10, 2012, 11:16:36 am »
0
jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz jizz or give them to some poor loomless scum.
Fammi un pompino!

I think I have ball cancer in my right nut :(
Good news everybody! It's not nut cancer :)
Bad news everybody, I got dumped :(

Offline oohillac

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #163 on: June 10, 2012, 08:19:43 pm »
0
bump

Offline T_Apolon

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Re: CraZy Loooshus, CrPg Loom giveaway and essay contest. (17 loom points)
« Reply #164 on: June 10, 2012, 11:22:59 pm »
+1
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I want some loom point
Hoping for you