Author Topic: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG  (Read 9652 times)

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Offline TurmoilTom

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #30 on: April 15, 2012, 06:46:49 pm »
+1
Cross-Dressing was literally impossible.

Offline Lactose_the_intolerant

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #31 on: April 15, 2012, 06:49:08 pm »
0
Hords of people ask nowadays who would win between a samurai and a european knight!

Information about the result must have been lost in time because these battles happened everyday.

Offline Teeth

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #32 on: April 15, 2012, 06:50:05 pm »
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The Shogunate that was led by a Russian emigrated from Japan to Minor Asia and founded the Byzantine Empire.

Offline Brrrak

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #33 on: April 15, 2012, 07:11:28 pm »
+1
  • Medieval soldiers never, under any circumstances, swung at an angle that wouldn't cause the weapon to collide with anyone in a general five foot radius.
  • Whistling was the most terrifying battle cry, seconded only by hordes of women crying 'Shut up!'
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Offline Vote

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #34 on: April 15, 2012, 07:15:09 pm »
-1
The Shogunate that was led by a Russian emigrated from Japan to Minor Asia and founded the Byzantine Empire.

Isnt he georgian like stalin?

Offline Tzar

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #35 on: April 15, 2012, 09:31:05 pm »
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Pikes and spears could teleport trough people an objects
I've never played a server where people split up as much or as often as on EU1.  No wonder range is having a field day.

Offline Banok

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #36 on: April 15, 2012, 09:37:56 pm »
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Holding a shield grants 180 degree forcefield, even if its a 9 inch buckler.

Offline Darkmos

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #37 on: April 15, 2012, 09:54:46 pm »
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If men would siege a city, the city would be magicly taken over if a flag was taken down and replaced.

Offline B3RS3RK

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #38 on: April 15, 2012, 09:59:07 pm »
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That might be a bit offtopic, but FUCK!

Banok your Signature is just too fucking funny :lol:
Maybe it woud be better for me to find out where you life and kill you when you are satch a Soziopath. You have enough now.
"I don´t believe in anything, I´m just here for the violence."

Offline Herkkutatti

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #39 on: April 15, 2012, 09:59:42 pm »
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If men would siege a city, the city would be magicly taken over if a flag was taken down and replaced.
I read something about that, if the flag is replaced the castle is same as lost or something :D
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Offline Loar Avel

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #40 on: April 15, 2012, 10:05:55 pm »
+1
Shield could only block when being hold in front of you.

If a warrior hit is friend five time or more, he could be strike an killed by the god.

Poll where made when a soldier dislike the battlefield.

Poll could also be made against a soldier judged annoying by his pair.

Dead soldier became ghost and often bring movie or book to wait for their resurrection.
The world is split in two categorie.
The one digging, and the one with the loaded crossbow.

But never forget that the one digging, got a big shovel.

Offline Sir Gilinor

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #41 on: April 15, 2012, 10:32:16 pm »
+8
1. When armies would clash and a river or lake was in the way, they would simply walk down to the bottom of the lake/river (ignoring any scientific laws of the density of the human body) and walk up the other side of the lake/river rather than swim across.

2. The soldier did not get to pick and choose which army he was a part of. Either God put him through a random placement generator, thus placing him on the according army, or if his family happened to have the same coat-of-arms as another individual, he would be grouped with him, whether or not any connections between the two existed.

3. The medieval world must have had relatively few artists because of the great lack in the amount of coats-of-arms.

4. Soldiers were not allowed to swing at any angle. Each was forced to swing in only 4 different directions.

5. Annoying punks we find nowadays MUST be descendants from Horse Crossbowmen.

6. One was completely capable of carrying a polearm or two handed weapon that lacked a scabbard on their back by simply shoving it through the chinks in their armor, and were also very capable of being able to pull it out in a very timely fashion.

7. When a soldier was carrying a secondary weapon and wished to switch to it from the weapon he then possessed, there was no such proccess called "sheathing your weapon". The scabbard/belt of the individual had a magnetic mechanism that pulled the weapon he was then carrying into the respected place, giving the time it would originally take to put your weapon back in place to grab his secondary weapon.

8. Every 30 seconds in a battle, a soldier, whether he were living or in the arms of death, would find a bag of gold on the ground with varying amounts (this depended on how well his army was performing) within. Along with that, he would also have a moment of enlightenment that made him/her more of an experienced fighter (this 'enlightenment' came along with the finding of the bag-o-gold).

9. There was no such word as 'endurance' or 'catching-your-breath'; medieval knights and soldiers could run freely, no matter the weight of what they were carrying or wearing, and as long as their hearts desired. This rule applied to horses as well; they did not require the need to be fed/watered/rested.

10. Sticking hundreds of pounds of armor on top of your horse, as well as adding the weight of the plate armor you wore on top of it, did not dull its performance.

11. Peasant soldiers could easily take a spike/blade/knob the head or face, and still perform perfectly fine in battle. You then come to the conclusion that this was the result of grueling work on the farm under the burning sun.

12. Some 'two-handed' weapons were easily used on horseback as a 'one-handed' weapon.

13. Hordes of soldier, with verying cultures and backgrounds, often invaded a village in waves in order to take possession of a young woman (who is presumably the only resident of the village).

14. If a soldier was lacking a shield and happened to spot one in the heat of battle, he/she was able to pick it up as well as paint their coat-of-arms on the shield in a very neat and artistic manner within the matter of milliseconds.

16. When someone was placing a helmet upon their head, the individuals head would lose every strand of hair, becoming bald, in order to place the helmet on.

17. Beards must have been quite strong; they were able to go through the chainmail one wore upon his head.

18. The defenders of a castle would usually break a chunk out of the wall in order to let the besiegers place their siege equipment against it.
 :D
"Deus, deduc armis semper saecula."
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Offline Andy

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #42 on: April 15, 2012, 10:44:34 pm »
+2
Horses were fine after running face-first, full speed into a brick wall. They instantly stopped just inches away.
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Offline brianr1989

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #43 on: April 15, 2012, 11:18:07 pm »
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After each battle waged, each soldier was forced to pay their respective commander a heavy amount of gold to repair their equipment. Failure to do so resulted in said soldier being forced to fight the next battle naked. Luckily most soldiers carried with them a set of peasant clothing to make sure the other soldiers did not notice.

Offline Logen

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Re: Things we learned about Medieval times playing cRPG
« Reply #44 on: April 15, 2012, 11:27:51 pm »
+13
that a kick to the balls was considered a proper greeting