http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O3d8EP-HPUo
Of course. We're looking forward to some fun fights and nice exp.
It is well known that these "Frisians" are nothing but devil-worshiping heathens. Too long have they run amok with no objections from those who are of the chadzian faith. As none have been willing to stand up to the devil, the noble Crusaders of Acre have taken it upon themselves to wipe these sinners off the face of the Earth. Let the banners wave, the armies march, and blood be spilt.I officially endorse you surrendering to your Frisian overlords.
As the battle tonight against Acre and the battle a couple months ago against Occitain proved, Frisia is protected by the divine. It also has insanely difficult to take fiefs.Indeed they are, for Mork the Goat God!
Welcome to strat ACRE. Get dunked on nerds. 8-)
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Yeah good game.
Welcome to strategus!
Be sure to come out and play again after Kesh ungrounds you.
ACRE Clearly has the advantage here, all we have to do is extend our arms and grab your legs. We'll just let gravity do the rest. ;D
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ACRE Clearly has the advantage here, all we have to do is extend our arms and grab your legs. We'll just let gravity do the rest. ;D
I believe this is an accurate representation of how the war will end.
As James VII sat in his home, by the fire in the beautiful snowy village of New Slezkh, maniacally sharpening his longsword and daydreaming of goring frisians a rider arrived from Yruma. It was Brother Kilge coming to bring word of enemy troop movements by the filthy frisians. “Sir the heathens ride near our lands” announced Kilge.
With a grin on his face James threw more of the frisians threats and shitpost letters into the fire and said to Kilge “A great day is coming. Send word to our brothers, if the fools are bold enough to attack we will smash them on our walls and cut them down in the fields. In the name of Good King Reinhardt , Acre and for the Holy chadz we must do our duty to defend our lands and rid Nova Calradia of the frisian scourge that plagues the promising and growing Nova Calradia.”
James couldn’t help himself but to feel the adrenaline flow through him at the thought of the opportunities that would come for him to sink his steel into frisian flesh that would come. He retired to his room filled with refugee frisian women who were able to escape the clutches of the filthy deranged frisians.
Upon waking and letting the train of whores leave his accommodations James issued the order that all frisian shitposting be delivered to him personally for its humorous and laughable nature. Surely nothing could be so funny as to see a bunch of tired trolls attempt to win a war through words. Truly there was no better feeling than to be on a crusade to purge the world of evil.
James pondered the suggestion of one of the fraisins of a scrimmage, perhaps it could be arranged in the coming weeks.
If you intend to attack our armies in the field, I readily invite such a move. Perhaps we'll even get a large hill to sit our asses on. If not, kindly allow us to attack your villages repeatedly. We've been rather upset that you've not made but a single attack on us after making this thread, so we decided we may take the fight to your doorsteps rather than wait on you. It seemed that you weren't keen on coming after our fiefs; maybe you'll be eager to attack our warbands instead.I've got a four inch and three quarter sized penis, seeming you've not excelled at anything else in life will you pleasure me for money?
Why can't the Frisian leader Daruvian ever make any good posts? Is he too brain dead from acid to do so?
Lawless Draculian thugs
It had been a late night. Lawless Draculian thugs had appeared with haste to siege Karindi. Not so much as a declaration of war from them, James wondered if there was a shred of noble customs left in this great land of Nova Calradia.
A knock at the chamber door proved to be Brother Whoopsie appearing with yet another frisian letter. "Sir the frisians have sent more homo erotic literature".
James replied " I simply haven't the time for it now burn it with the rest of the shite they've sent us".
"Gladly...perhaps we ought to save some of it to burn the heretics with when we have captured them." replied Whoopsie.
As Whoopsie left James reflected on the violent behavior of his men in recent months, training had done them well. They were turning into true weapons of God.
As he headed out to inspect the soldiers barracks James looked at another pile of delivered notes referencing a strange substance called "Acid". The context seemed to imply it had some effects similar to milk of the poppy, a dulling of the senses. Perhaps this is what they speak of. Strange days these indeed.
As one of the Draculs proclaimed that he himself was the law James made a point to explain to his men that an attitude as such is exactly why and how one would become a lawless thug. "Any decent man should have the balls to declare his war to his enemies" He proclaimed to his men.
*edited for rp continuity please forgive posted quickly without thinking of the RP*
Warning to Acre: You are shitting in our backyard. There will be consequences.
James chuckled at the raven lies. They were attempting to say a declaration of war was made when all that was threatened was "consequences". They claimed that their defense pact was known to the realm. Truly a jest of epic proportions. It struck James that often the dogs with the loudest bark have a weak bite. It was evident that many of the older established factions feared the rise of Acre.(click to show/hide)
James chuckled at the raven lies. They were attempting to say a declaration of war was made when all that was threatened was "consequences". They claimed that their defense pact was known to the realm. Truly a jest of epic proportions. It struck James that often the dogs with the loudest bark have a weak bite. It was evident that many of the older established factions feared the rise of Acre.
James gathered his men in the courtyard for a faction council. "Crusaders of Acre, a faction of treacherous knaves claims that it is their right to attack us for purchasing a castle they had falsified claims upon" James commenced. "Let not their falsehoods dismay you brothers for we are the sword of the light in the darkness" James continued. "We can not and will not respect factions acting outside of the proper Noble behaviours, as is their choice they must be labelled as lawless bandits, every frisian or raven head brought to my doorstep shall be tarred pissed on and mounted on the battlements" James finished.
A chorus of agreement and hear hear's filled the courtyard. The council conversation drifted towards tactics and strategy, the opinions of all Acre crusaders weighed and analyzed by Good King Reinhardt and his faithful Lords. Upon finishing discussions of important strategic matters the council was moved to the New Yruma Crusader Pub where many an ale were consumed discussing the coming opportunities to mutilate ravens, draculs and frisians.
James was content in knowing that no matter the outcome of the war should the frisians and raven scum lay slain on the battlefield or should he be slain and his lands taken he would continue his mission for he was a soldier of the lord and no heretics or heathens could keep him from his quest.
Do not try to twist my words around, even for a RP post. We had a publicly known defense agreement. Reread what I typed: "Warning to Acre: You are shitting in our backyard. There will be consequences."
The key part of that sentence is the word WILL.
Ask Frisia, ask Dracul, ask FCC, ask anybody who has had any strat dealings with us. We keep our word in all things.
I do agree you keep your word. But I also think "there will be consequences" is very vague and you keep saying you had a public defence agreement... but where is it and how come no one else knew about it? I certainly didn't know about it until it was used as a justification for attacking Acre.
Why would you be assuming anything?
The only thing that was ever publicly announced was the dissolution of our shared faction tag.
Just to play devil's advocate here (not saying one side is right or wrong with their analysis), why does an alliance, or defense pact, or any other agreement need to be public knowledge?
Couldn't it just be a situation of "you fucked with the wrong faction who has big brothers you didn't know existed"?
Moar wars prz
Either way, they are slimpickings, a new faction that got on the wrong side of a large war thanks to FCC calling their shots. Not gonna bat an eyelash over them getting wiped.
Lol, talk about counting your chickens before they hatched. Not exactly weak either. Large war? Are you admitting your vassalage to occitan now?
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Viva la French Canadia.
Acre stacking their troops like that in their castle is a cowardly move and sends a message to everyone in strat that you guys are craven and plan on turtling after losing your fiefs. Even FCC doesn't stack their castles like that (last time I checked).
If anything should have been received from this message it is that N James ain't got nothing. And also, prepare your anuses choirboys.
I swear that I , jack1, will hereby dig a long narrow hole, cut a tree down, put it in that hole, fill in the sides so it stands strait and true. Then shit in a bucket, smear pre-stated shit on this post, then I will attempt to mate with said post. Thus allowing me to become one with the shitpost. Then I shall comeback and be on keshes ass like killer bees are on tommy boy.
? Does this mean frisians will actually being doing the attacks for once instead of watching dracul and ravens do the attacks for them and then talking shit and pretending like they did something?
If you want me to pull up links for battles where frisians attacked, I can, but not now, cause I'm on my phone, and your a fatty.
GF GF all around, we almost had ya
The once prosperous town of New Karindi had become little more than a macabre ghost town. The corpses of many great warriors lay strewn about. A sea of white tabards draped the landscape. The Draculites laying before me had fought long and hard. For every one of them lying about dead, there were two or three of Acre's acolytes impaled upon their weapons. The battle had been a close one for sure.
If only I had been quicker.
I had stepped off of my horse to more thoroughly examine the damage, when I heard the familiar sounds of a struggle coming from down the road. My boots bore loud noises as they crunched over the chainmail laden torsos of the corpses. By now the blood of my comrades had soaked my boots, and the lubrication made my sprint even more difficult than it already was on this treacherous and morbid terrain.
I rounded the corner of a lodge to see a circle of crusaders prodding at something with their weapons. I let loose my Langes from her scabbard, and the dawns light gleamed from her blood groove. The blood soaked mud would not detriment me this day. With all of my momentum, I picked my legs up off the ground, and slid forward, ducking under the swing of a poleaxe. My blade wrought havoc upon the mans leg, and he fell forward, clutching at the severed tendons. Now apparently pissed off, the others descended upon me. I scampered up onto my feet, but as I did, a well placed blow to my hand knocked my sword from my grasp. A foot came hurtling towards my abdomen. I grabbed the boot with both of my hands, and twisted the mans leg half circle. With a loud snap, his bones popped out of place and ripped out of his flesh at awkward angles. As soon as I could turn around, another blade swung upon me. I propelled my fist upward, deflecting the blow with my gauntlet. A wound up punch from my right hand then made love to his face, and scattered his teeth throughout the mud. A quick elbow followed, striking his temple, and it sent the back of his head whirling into the stone wall of the building behind him. His body slumped down the wall, a vibrant streak of blood tracing his descent.
Yet another blade was slung at me, a longsword no less. I jumped out of its initial arc, and while ducking down I drew my langes from the ground. An overhead strike soon followed, but I was ready. I parried the blade away, and sent my foot forcefully into the longswordsman's knee joint. He lost his footing, and I buried my langes messer deep in his clavicle. The blade pulled out with a slurch, and blood spewed from the wound. The pommel of my langes met his forehead with a loud crack. He hit the floor like a sack of hammers.
Severed Leg Man(TM) writhed about the floor in pain. I stuck my sword deep into his sternum, pinning him to the floor, and twisted the blade deep through his flesh. His comrade had made it a few meters away from me, crawling through the mud like a dying dog. I curb stomped his contorted leg, and he yelped in great misery. I then hefted him up against the wall and held him by his shoulders. The expression of fear on his face was a priceless thing in deed. I could feel the fear in his eyes. What a brilliant idea it gave me. I forcibly plunged my thumbs deep into his eye sockets, and continued applying pressure until his pathetic screaming had ceased.
I could hear a gasp coming from behind me. I turned to see a fellow Draculmancer laying on the ground before me.
It twas Necrowave, the leader of this expedition. I knelt over him and held his shaking head still. His mouth opened, and he spat a tablespoon of blood. "Deltah, pull it out."
"This is no time for your eroticisim, you asshat." I replied.
"I meant the crossbow bolt."
Sure enough, a well aimed bolt lay stuck in his groin. No doubt a trademark shot of the infamous dbrookz.
I grabbed ahold of the shaft, and pulled the sucker out.
"I suppose no more late night romps with the lads for you then, my brother."
He chuckled. "You can't get rid of me that easily. My phallus was too small of a target for the bolt."
If he wasn't bleeding to death in my arms, I would have slapped him.
"So, Coach, am I gonna make the big game or what?"
I slapped him anyway.
By now, my staff had finally caught up with me. They marveled at the mayhem that lay in my wake.
I called for one of my captains. "Go get the Apothecary and tell him to bring the salve of herbs from the Old One's garden." He rushed off, post haste.
"You think you can keep your lights on till he gets here and patches your ass up, Necro?"
"Only if you twiddle my noodle while we wait," he replied.
I let go of his head and stormed off to go get my Langes.
The rest of my personal guard and lieutenants stood before me, anxious for orders. I pulled the blade out from the corpse, and held it up to the dawn.
" Tonight their hearts will quake with the sound of our boots. They will know fear. For we shall drag these self-righteous sons of bitches down to hell, and show unto them the true meaning of Christmas."
Meanwhile Dracul Lord Vesarius swears a jihad on his own clan for shitty timing of every fuckin battle. Oh sweetest of irony if the draculians leaders were all impaled on spikes...Fin
Actually, Tkov has 21k, MB in Uxkhal with 12k...
As long as, they allow them to attack without wasting tickets, then it's all good.
To be fair anders, they are all my troops in uxhaul. And I endorse frisia always
(click to show/hide)
Having been away on important faction matters (a glorious name day celebration) James had not been with his men at the time of the siege of Yruma. He had been unable to think of much else but the siege. As he and his small group of knights pulled up to the castle it was obvious that the battle had been a lengthy and bloody one. The shattered remains of a fallen siege tower lay broken on the slopes surrounding the castle. As James asked the peasant folk for tidings of the battle it became clear that the Crusaders of Acre had held their own and slain many opposing knights. "Allers killed 400 men by himself!" said one peasant, "I saw Brother Axeman cut a man clear through from his shoulder" said another. James knew that the claims about Allers were most likely an exageration but he had heard speak of Allers in many an inn and tavern and would not put it past him.
Some repairs to the castle would be needed but James could see that the peasants and architects were already hard at work repairing the castle for the next siege. As James wondered where the majority of the Crusaders were (having seen only a few Acre men organizing repairs), he stumbled into the Yruma pub and found the remaining men.
A chorus of some song he had not heard before was making its way through the pub."O' they came to climb our walls
But alas we smashed them in their balls
We laughed at all their fucking falls
Oh no they shall not take these halls
Yruma the fortress it shall hold
Our enemies thought themselves so bold
Ten thousand men or more strong
O' Ravens your wait it may be long
Crusaders stay strong and believe
For yours is the truest of all deeds
To fight for the King and chadz
Our enemies shall for ever be mad"
James spent the rest of the night and much of the morning drinking and talking with the men to hear of the strategies used by the enemy and of the glory attained by all the Crusaders and Holy Mercenaries who came to help our cause. After wading through a sea of whores James was able to find the King, " My King I have arrived from my engagements, I am pleased to see the battle has gone in our favor, also that is quite a catchy song the men are singing perhaps it should be put to paper" James said. "Indeed James, indeed" Replied the King as he called Delson to arrange for 50 more bottles of wine to be brought to the pub. Dissapointed in himself for not being there to see the glorious siege himself James assured the men he would fight in the next defense of the fortress and began trying to consume his own weight in wine.
As the sun came over the battlements James retreated to his quarters very satisfied with the valor and heroics shown by his men.
the shitlordscrusadershold their walls with a false sense of pride. Apollo sits on his toilet and ponders the latest plight atYrumaRindyar Castle.
What did they do to deserve this castle? How have they not strangled themselves from being so bad?
Apollo released he suddenly had better shit to do. The whispering winds of shit carry him to a land far away, known as "DOTA" where there are more worthy opponents.
Fixed. :wink: Also, good riddance - may all the shitlords join you and daruvian and make this community so much better without being filled with juvenile insults, poop and gay jokes of 12 year olds in the "something awful" gaming group. Also, Crusaders actually paid for their castle ina business transaction - they didn't just suck FCC cock like Frisians did at the time for Rindyar castle.
maybe when he realized you had the backing of 85% of the map defense was the better part of good sense.
never once fighting a castle or city attack yourself.
Why when LCo was doing nothing but defending against Tkov did we not hear these same cries of shame?
I believe that not all small factions have the luxury to attack castles/cities as much as others, assuming you meant attacking and not fighting
You guys recruit like crazy and are actually one of the larger factions on the map with 38 members as of the NA wars and alliances page with a significant portion very active from looking at your battle rosters. Larger than ravens and dracul in playerbase and yet they seem to have the balls to actually attack a castle and a city. They actually had to take Halmar for you since you didn't have the organization to take Halmar yourself.
Oh yeah - thanks for reminding me - halmar by sucking Raven cock, never once fighting a castle or city attack yourself. i have to admit Frisians have some of the top pro cocksuckers in crpg. hats off to you.
Raven promised a castle+village or a city to Frisia at the very start of Fimbulvetr. At no point in the HoC war did ANY Frisian ask for anything from us. We gave them what we said we would. By insinuating they did, you are insulting us, Kesh. Consider this a diplomatic warning, watch your words more carefully.
I almost thought of something witty to say... but then I realized you were the leader of BS. :mrgreen:
The fact of the matter is that we're not fighting Acre because we think they wrongfully own the castle. I am, at the very least, personally putting forth my faction's resources because we want to fucking expand. This is the first war Dracul has ever fought for personal gain, every other war has been either defensive or a call to arms.
We've taken three or four villages now, and so far only actually kept one for ourselves. I think out of the 10 or so months we've been active on the map we've only actually been at peace for a grand total of one. Using the numbers you see for a faction is just silly, everyone should know that not everyone in a faction is going to be 100% active.
Anyway, go ahead and look at our position on the map, I'm sure you'd like us to attack the m8's (aka Occitan) but fuck that. Acre is 'technically' a neutral faction, right? Where else are we supposed to go? We've been after a castle since day one and this is our best shot at getting one, so FCC, kindly just turn around and walk away.
Arty you know I respect you guys and hell I was a huge reason you guys got on the map to begin with. In just about any other situation I would be fighting along side you and ravens. We have proven that time and again. In this case we sold acre that castle we can not let it just be taken away. We are giving them merc support as i told you we would before you guys started attacking. maybe after it is all decided neither side will hold any grudges, especially since what is conquest if it is easy. I am sure we will be fighting side by side again in time.
Fixed. :wink: Also, good riddance - may all the shitlords join you and daruvian and make this community so much better without being filled with juvenile insults, poop and gay jokes of 12 year olds in the "something awful" gaming group. Also, Crusaders actually paid for their castle ina business transaction - they didn't just suck FCC cock like Frisians did at the time for Rindyar castle.
This whole thing kinda sounds like frisia started an assault and got butthurt when they got their asses kicked, or am i reading things wrong?
Keep up the walls of text btw, currently more interesting then EU drama :mrgreen:
Sure, if we were fighting anyone else.
Which I find humorous because we have literally spent this entire round of Strategus trying our best to NOT fight you, and we've always signed up for you guys. Even recently, we pretty much broke up Fimbulvetr because we didn't want to fight you. Not because we're scared of getting wiped out, but because we held a large amount of respect for you. You seem to forget that in our past we've reinforced you, we fought Hero Party way back when together. The first thing we did upon receiving our village was declare war on the same person you were fighting.
But yeah, I get it, Acre gave you troops and would have kept giving you troops if we wouldn't have marched over and started fighting them. Let the siege continue!
well now this is interesting.When your crew were being attacked three times we rushed to your aide. Asked nothing for it and felt it was our duty to help regardless if it was asked for or needed.
When you all decided to make war on us. You sent your armies and we sat back and let it happen, because we did not want to fight friends. We defended ourselves but did not launch a single counter attack even when we could. Because you were friends who had a duty to your alliance so we did nothing.
There is a dwindling number of clans not under the LCO umbrella. We can not stand aside and watch one of them get wiped without at least merc support. We could have given them gold troops and gear but because of who you guys are we merc and let the dice fall as they will.
This whole thing kinda sounds like frisia started an assault and got butthurt when they got their asses kicked, or am i reading things wrong?
Keep up the walls of text btw, currently more interesting then EU drama :mrgreen:
This whole thing kinda sounds like frisia started an assault and got butthurt when they got their asses kicked, or am i reading things wrong?
Keep up the walls of text btw, currently more interesting then EU drama :mrgreen:
I will plus one that Sandy.. Skipped a couple of things but generally speaking that sums it up.
I can now see why you guys hate us so... much... no wait not really..
Can you write a longer one where I understand why you wanted to punch Santa Claus (fcc)
This thread just seems silly now, considering Acre only has 2k troops left lol
They've got a whole lot more than that, they're just forcing us to fight regenerating population.
Well, if it works the same for castles as it does for villages, the population does not regenerate above 200. Perhaps its like 500 for castles or something, but it certainly does not regenerate infinitely.
They've got a whole lot more than that, they're just forcing us to fight regenerating population.
Now, things were pretty much two-sided even back then, and goddamn did Semenstorm, Occitan, Hospitaller etc hate FCC.
A lot of shit went down in past Strats between NE and FCC, so that's no surprise. Hell, whenever we find ourselves without an immediate threat, the question is always asked, "who should we fight now?" "Hosp!" "Occitan!" Personally, I'd like to not have Frisia added to the list of forever enemies, but you guys seem pretty determined at this point.
I was absent the whole time we were working with you guys, so that was a nice read. I came in right at the Fimb war wondering "who are these dicks and why do they hate us so much?"
Damn I miss those times when we could just refer to Hosps as evil superpower, LLJK as looney wildcards, FCC as underdogs with a bite, and call it a day.
I love the FCC, but I hate being in something that is considered the bad guys, honestly.
We need an image consultant. Who's up for the job?
I love the FCC, but I hate being in something that is considered the bad guys, honestly.