Author Topic: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians  (Read 15211 times)

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Offline GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2013, 07:32:47 am »
+14
The Story of His Holiness, The Gay Knight of Frisia
       Chapter One -- The Beginning


The following is an account of legends and hearsay from the people of Calradia; as with all great tales the true details of these stories may be lost to the cleansing seas of time, but even mythic tales of old contain at least some truth. Learned men and those of the peasantry have different views of The Gay Knight, but both groups agree that the story of the legendary Gay Knight of Frisia began on the same day as all other life...

God desired to fill the Earth with life, and so he formed three figures from the clay of the ground. He nourished them with the water of the sea, and blew life into them with the air of the heavens... but God saw that each of his three creations was different.

The first was beautiful, strong, and perfectly in his image. It inspired hearty warmth and confidence in the creator. It represented the unity and the common beauty of existence and of the creator's form. So he spoke aloud, saying "This form shall be named the Statue of Man." God then placed the Statue of Man upon the Earth to roam and adventure and partake in the wholesomeness and bountifulness of this new world. And so it was.

The second statue was far different. It was not beautiful and strong like the first, nor was it in his image. In truth it inspired revulsion in the creator when he looked upon it, for it was not what he had foreseen. So God pushed it aside saying "This one shall be named the Statue of Revulsion, for it is all things wrong, and must exist as an example of all things wrong, an anti-force of the Statue of Man." God saw that he could not place the Statue of Man and the State of Revulsion both on the same plains of the Earth. To host the Statue of Revulsion he created a cold, dark Underworld befitting the statue--the Realm of Basements. And so God placed the Statue of Revulsion in the Realm of Basements, and with a final, concerned thought before looking to the third statue spoke aloud "This Statue... The Statue of Revulsion... shall be known to man as Keshian." And so it was.

Finally the creator drew his eyes to the third statue. The third was neither the perfect image of the creator seen in the Statue of Man, nor the image of disgusting qualities seen in the Statue of Revulsion. The third statue was something entirely different. The more The Lord stared upon it trying to divine its qualities, the more he found himself confused yet attracted to this statue. This emotion was new to God, and he spoke of his feelings towards the figure saying "this feeling shall be called Gay, and it is the ruling quality of this figure." So God, seeing that the new figure was admirable with noble qualities, fit to walk among man, and ruled by the feeling of Gay, declared "This form shall be known as the Statue of Gay, and it shall live upon the Earth with the Statue of Man. The Statue of Gay is honorable and strong, and shall protect the Statue of Man by guarding the Gates to the Underworld so that the Earth may not be overrun by the hissing cries and struggles of the Statue of Revulsion to corrupt the Statue of Man." Then with a final thought before placing the Statue of Gay upon the Earth, The Lord commented "Let the Statue of Gay be known to man as Daruvian, the Gay Knight."

And so it was....
« Last Edit: June 10, 2013, 07:36:00 am by Daruvian »

Offline Havelle

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« Last Edit: June 10, 2013, 10:05:35 am by Havelle »

Offline Jack1

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #17 on: June 11, 2013, 02:37:06 am »
+5
Not enough spewing on this thread!

I will thus create gossip to create the spew: acre has received many glitches, enough for 100k troops. They have also received around 99,999 troops Fromm FCC.

Daruvian has cheated on sandy with havelle.

Plex and badoon are creating a hack to get Frisia anything they want.

I now have given you the tools, so spew foam from your mouths or I will do nothing!
We're all nerds here, so it doesn't really matter.

Offline Apollo

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #18 on: June 11, 2013, 08:07:25 am »
+5
Welcome to strat ACRE. Get dunked on nerds.  8-)
You don't need to ban or anything just for future reference or something because he's rude to me.
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Offline Sir_Winston_Churchill

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #19 on: June 11, 2013, 08:27:03 am »
+5
As the battle tonight against Acre and the battle a couple months ago against Occitain proved, Frisia is protected by the divine. It also has insanely difficult to take fiefs.

Offline Zlisch_The_Butcher

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #20 on: June 11, 2013, 08:29:32 am »
+1
As the battle tonight against Acre and the battle a couple months ago against Occitain proved, Frisia is protected by the divine. It also has insanely difficult to take fiefs.
Indeed they are, for Mork the Goat God!
1H stab is the fastest, strongest and longest 1H animation. There's no reason NOT to use it in all instances. I don't know if it's OP, but it's boring. 1H used to be fun because you had a fast (left), long (right) and the most devastating attack (stab) and had to choose the best attack for each occasion.

Offline Duster

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #21 on: June 11, 2013, 08:43:09 am »
+26
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Offline Penguin

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"As you gaze upon the cross, and long for conformity to him, be not weary or fearful because you cannot express in words what you seek. Ask him to plant the cross in your heart. Believe in him, the crucified and now living one, to dwell within you, and breathe his own mind there."

Offline ROHYPNOL

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you're rough around the edges.
This is the reason people don't like you if anyone ever did.

Offline GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #24 on: June 11, 2013, 09:10:54 am »
+8

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Literally the best picture I've ever seen on the forums, I can't stop laughing.

Offline Gristle

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #25 on: June 11, 2013, 02:21:41 pm »
+4
I am in awe.

And so it was, that a .jpg secured a victory far greater than any siege ever could. God be with you, paladins of Acre.


"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a b-ball player, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.
Now you play a pretty good b-ball, boy, but give the Devil his due.
I'll bet a ball of gold against your soul 'cause I think I'm better than you."

The boy said, "My name's Reinhardt, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the best there's ever been."

Reinhardt, rosin up your dunk and play your b-ball hard.
'Cause Hell's broke loose in chadzia and the Devil deals the cards.
And if you win you get this shiny b-ball made of gold,
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But if you lose the devil gets your soul!

Offline Reinhardt

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #26 on: June 11, 2013, 05:32:46 pm »
+6
Good fight, guys. The army was originally made to be destroyed and bleed your tickets. I think we did alright given your insanely defensible fiefs, but good win nonetheless.

Also, shout-out to all the guys who signed up for the Acre side.



And so Acre was forced to fall back and bide their time. But rest assured that they will be back, and in greater numbers.

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"A leader is a dealer in hope."

Offline Keshian

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #27 on: June 11, 2013, 08:56:24 pm »
-9
Yeah good game.

Welcome to strategus!

Be sure to come out and play again after Kesh ungrounds you.

Who is Kesh?  And why would he ground anyone?  Please don't involve me in your father-son spanking fantasies anymore.  Thank you.
http://keshoxford.com/  - Where middle-eastern meets red-hot and spicy!

"[Strat 5]... war game my ass, tis more like a popularity contest"  Plumbo

Offline Jack1

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #28 on: June 12, 2013, 05:05:16 am »
+3
Me too, babe.

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We're all nerds here, so it doesn't really matter.

Offline Working_Class

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Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« Reply #29 on: June 26, 2013, 09:38:39 pm »
+3
Kesh i want to ravage your plump little butthole
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