According to the vast majority of pundits, news show talking heads, academics, cover their ass politicians, et al in the US and around the world, all the assholes are on the right and cannot be on the left.
Hey guys -- Centrist here. As you might imagine I'm a sensible and educated person (IQ off the charts) who deals only in facts, logic, and REALITY. I'm simply too intelligent to identify with either side of the political spectrum. After countless hours of research, I've empirically determined the following to be the correct political stances:
- Climate change is real, entirely caused by humans, and will bring about the apocalypse if we don't redistribute wealth to 3rd world countries.
- Police should become an arm of the federal government.
- Healthcare should be taken over by the federal government-- all insurance companies put out of business.
- Gay marriage and workplace gender equality enforced by the state.
- America was built on the back of racism, so we owe reparations to blacks, arabs and mexicans.
- Genetic differences don't exist, however whites are genetically racist and therefore inferior to other races.
- Immigration should be completely unlimited and nonwhite, and all should be given welfare and basic income.
- I'm opposed to all wars, but honestly we need to save those Syrian kids and put an end to Russian aggression.
- Systematic christian terrorism is more prevalent than lone-wolf rampages committed by groups of misunderstood individuals who coincidentally affiliate themselves with Islam.
- I went over each presidential candidate with a razor comb... and needless to say Evan McMullin was the only one deserving of my precious vote. However he wasn't on the ballot so I voted Hillary.
- I'm fiscally conservative.
LOL having trouble defining me, brainlets? As you can see, my politics are an intricately crafted work of art. The best part of course, is that all my views are correct because -unlike you- I'm unbounded from political groupthink. Sometimes it takes a brave thinker like myself to just stand up and say that both sides are wrong-- the answer lies somewhere in the middle.
