A declaration of war

[Bronto]

It wasn't a poem, it was from Shakespeare's Richard III

Don't get mad, get even!

Ah Shakespeare, where for art thou Shakespeare. In America they barely teach us what books are, let alone who wrote them. My wife, she's the English Major, me, I'm just good at maths and being awkward in social situations.

[Bryggan]

Am I not enough for your armies? For your glory?

Crash against my walls and see how your armies are nothing but placeholders for my arrows and swords.

Bring forth the might of the SQPR and we'll see just how strong they are.

(click to show/hide)

Seriously though, you don't want to do a war against me? I got the men and the gear. I got dis. Come at me bro.

Hmm.  Well, I gotta fight somebody, and yes, you would a worthy foe, but your castle is so far away from our lands.  You know I like my maps to look all neat and bunched together.  Maybe you could trade Jelbegi castle for something nearer?  Oh, and I was thinking rather than risk having our armies stuck in an eternal 'preparing for battle', we could just flip a coin or something to see who wins.

But of course it is the consuls who decide who we go to war with, I am just a mere servant of the state.

*Oh Heskey, I confess I did laugh at your old post about the 'discount tents'.

[Jona]

I volunteer to be the dungeon master strat master for your future conflicts to keep strat rolling even while the site isn't. I've got a nice assortment of coins should we go with an even 50/50 chance of victory for either side... your fate can be decided with a penny, nickel, dime, quarter, half dollar, golden dollar, regular dollar coin, chocolate gelt, or some shekels from assorted countries (even some loonies and toonies hailing from Bryggan's own country)... and for each quarter flipped you can choose the exact US of A state represented on the back should you wish to have a strat conflict resolved in a battle of the Dakotas. If you prefer we go the RISK route and use dice, well I've got a nice selection of, uhh... white, red... and maybe off-white dice (that used to be white 50 years ago) to select. I DO have black dice, however those just might happen to be loaded, so uhh, being the non-partisan strat master that I'd be, I would reserve those for HoC's use for you know... reasons.

[Jona]

The great thing about being the strat master is I don't need to come up with any contrived plot... it's all up to the players. Y'all move around on the map, rp as you want, and then when you would have a conflict make a post about it and boom, coin flipped (or dice rolled). Easy. 

[Bronto]

I'm going to rep. Pennsylvania because it's where I live. According to HESKEYTIME our savior im attacking Bryggan and USE THE BLACK DICE!!!!!! Remember though, I have 600 HEAVILY ARMED TROOPS AND THEY'RE FUCKING PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tristan_of_Erzoth]

I'm going to rep. Pennsylvania because it's where I live. According to HESKEYTIME our savior im attacking Bryggan and USE THE BLACK DICE!!!!!! Remember though, I have 600 HEAVILY ARMED TROOPS AND THEY'RE FUCKING PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm mercing for Bryggan, as a 37th level crossbowman i believe that gives him either an extra dice or one free reroll.

[Bronto]

Maybe you didn't see my 600 HEAVILY ARMED TROOPS, they negate your level and perceived xbow prowess. They are heavily armed, and they are PISSED!!!!!!

[Jona]

and they are PISSED!!!!!!

Being PISSED adds +1 to your dice roll. Having to deal with an enemy xbow increases your mens' PISSED level by 5, adding another +1 for a total of +2 to your dice roll.

[RD_Professor]

Clearly crpg is not meant to be played on the computer. This forum posting system is far more in-depth and intuitive than the so-called "controls" and "graphical interface" of current crpg. I demand that the devs cease all work on whatever it is they're up to and release cRPG: Pen&Paper Edition.

[Taser]

Hmm.  Well, I gotta fight somebody, and yes, you would a worthy foe, but your castle is so far away from our lands.  You know I like my maps to look all neat and bunched together.  Maybe you could trade Jelbegi castle for something nearer?  Oh, and I was thinking rather than risk having our armies stuck in an eternal 'preparing for battle', we could just flip a coin or something to see who wins.

But of course it is the consuls who decide who we go to war with, I am just a mere servant of the state.

*Oh Heskey, I confess I did laugh at your old post about the 'discount tents'.

I've tried to trade it actually with HoC but Jona (*ahem*) just doesn't want the best castle ever held by a Taser. Doubt anyone else would want it surrounded by HoC. HoC is cuddly and all that but most people, not tasers of course, might be concerned to be surrounded on all sides by green hounds.

I don't mind waiting until strat is fixed (lol) or rping with dice rolls to see who wins. Not sure how to set that up tho because my army isn't pissed. Not sure what bonuses to dice rolls I get with an all taser army.

Maybe you didn't see my 600 HEAVILY ARMED TROOPS, they negate your level and perceived xbow prowess. They are heavily armed, and they are PISSED!!!!!!

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[Tristan_of_Erzoth]

Being PISSED adds +1 to your dice roll. Having to deal with an enemy xbow increases your mens' PISSED level by 5, adding another +1 for a total of +2 to your dice roll.

If me and Bryggan group up with Dr. Device and write another long winded three part RP post what kind of bonuses would we be looking at?

[Jona]

If me and Bryggan group up with Dr. Device and write another long winded three part RP post what kind of bonuses would we be looking at?

You can expect a 2 point morale boost, which will then make your men to follow your orders 3.2% more frequently, giving you an total boost of [Commanding skill]^(0.032*[Troop Reliability]).

[Taser]

If me and Bryggan group up with Dr. Device and write another long winded three part RP post what kind of bonuses would we be looking at?

Aw fuck. RP bonuses?

As GrandTaser of Tasa Clan, I will assassinate you and your people before the unholiness of your RP bonuses can affect the yet to occur slapfights we call a war.

[RD_Professor]

Aw fuck. RP bonuses?

As GrandTaser of Tasa Clan, I will assassinate you and your people before the unholiness of your RP bonuses can affect the yet to occur slapfights we call a war.

What a shocking turn.

heh.

[Taser]

What a shocking turn.

heh.

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