Author Topic: Bootlegging Moonshine  (Read 8330 times)

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Offline poonerplox2

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #45 on: June 07, 2015, 03:53:46 am »
+2
Woah hold on a minute, why would you order me such a lowly drink as a Warden's Wrath. Everyone knows that I only drink aged items such as the classic, the Squid's Demise.

Offline Tristan_of_Erzoth

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #46 on: June 07, 2015, 04:28:50 am »
+2

At the moment, an out of breath Tristan burst into the room.  'There you are Bryggan!  I have him!  I have it on great authority that he's out by Suno.  It's a long trek, but I can be there in a few weeks.  We can get him!" He raised his fist defiantly as he strode over to their corner.

"Tristan..."

"I know I can do it.  I can ram my sword deep into his stomach, and watch the light fade from his eyes... it will be glorious..."

"Tristan..."

"With him out of the way, I think opposition will falter even further!  We will take all of Calradia!" 

"Tristan!"  Bryggan slammed his fist on the table.  "You have no clue what you are talking about.  Suno is far out of the way, and it would be very unlike Moonshine..."

"Bryggan, I received this!"  He reached into his cloak and pulled out a parchment.  "It's from Moonshine himself!  He has challenged me to battle!"

"Tristan, I've received reports from Camulos that Moonshine was at New Shulus.  I heard from Albus that he's in the Steppes.  There were reports that he purchased a large order of ales from Sargoth, and Sharpe's special blend out of Veluca.  I have even heard he died."  Bryggan sighed.  "You need to understand, not every enemy charges up the middle.  Moonshine is a flank fighter.  He attacks from the shadows, and causes misdirection among the army he faces.  He lets you see what he wants you to see."

"But...Bryggan, he signed this by his own hand.  He challenged me out in the fields of Suno..."  A frown crossed the great Lord's face.  He brow furrowed in thought.  "Surely he'd keep his word and face me..."

"Do what you wish.  But if he said Suno, he'd be more likely to attack Nova Suno, and you'd be the fool to chase him out to the other..."

"Regardless, I do not need permission.  I will find him, and bring you his head."  Tristan folded up the parchment, and put it back in his cloak.  "Then we will see who the greater fool is."  He turned and left.



As Tristan left the Nova Curaw in a heat, he rode out to where his army was camped. "Gather the camp up men, we leave within the hour." I shouted while riding for my tent. Once inside, I strode over the table and unfurled my map of NA.
"I fucking knew it, theres no such thing as Nova Suno. I"ll need to get more horses for my ride to EU. But where to get them..." I mumbled to myself, before hearing a cough from behind me. Furnavi, my loyal second in command was standing there.
"Talking to yourself and not seeing the obvious as usual I see. However your'e stubborn, so I'm not going to even try to dissuade you. If we need horses, your bannnerman General Swagathor was recently gifted New Kelredan Castle. Rumor has it after the bezerk army broke on its walls they left thousands of horses. Let us go there to acquire what we need." he said, cutting straight to the point.
"Swagathor? He has always been true. Very well, send a messenger ahead of us to tell him of our arrival." I replied, before rolling up my map and preparing for the ride. Furnavi bowed and exited the tent to carry out my orders. Soon after we were out on the road again heading towards New Kelredan. Half a day's ride to the south we were there, and Swagathor met us on the gates.
"Whats up bundle of sticks?" he greeted me. Reminding myself of his crude manner I just let it slide.
"Greetings Swagathor. I have come to request some horses from you to aid me in my hunt of Moonshine." I said as we walked back to his keep.
"Hmm, I could do that. But I like my horses. However, Arms has been camping near my castle and I dont like that homo. So if you kill him I'll give you a few thousand palfreys." I gave it a few moments thoughts before accepting. Killing arms was probably in my best interest anyways. With that I rode out to attack his army...
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Offline Sharpe

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #47 on: June 07, 2015, 01:32:13 pm »
0

As Tristan left the Nova Curaw in a heat, he rode out to where his army was camped. "Gather the camp up men, we leave within the hour." I shouted while riding for my tent. Once inside, I strode over the table and unfurled my map of NA.
"I fucking knew it, theres no such thing as Nova Suno. I"ll need to get more horses for my ride to EU. But where to get them..." I mumbled to myself, before hearing a cough from behind me. Furnavi, my loyal second in command was standing there.
"Talking to yourself and not seeing the obvious as usual I see. However your'e stubborn, so I'm not going to even try to dissuade you. If we need horses, your bannnerman General Swagathor was recently gifted New Kelredan Castle. Rumor has it after the bezerk army broke on its walls they left thousands of horses. Let us go there to acquire what we need." he said, cutting straight to the point.
"Swagathor? He has always been true. Very well, send a messenger ahead of us to tell him of our arrival." I replied, before rolling up my map and preparing for the ride. Furnavi bowed and exited the tent to carry out my orders. Soon after we were out on the road again heading towards New Kelredan. Half a day's ride to the south we were there, and Swagathor met us on the gates.
"Whats up bundle of sticks?" he greeted me. Reminding myself of his crude manner I just let it slide.
"Greetings Swagathor. I have come to request some horses from you to aid me in my hunt of Moonshine." I said as we walked back to his keep.
"Hmm, I could do that. But I like my horses. However, Arms has been camping near my castle and I dont like that homo. So if you kill him I'll give you a few thousand palfreys." I gave it a few moments thoughts before accepting. Killing arms was probably in my best interest anyways. With that I rode out to attack his army...


Good man, you understand that quality RP's are to be written in italics.
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“I like the cover," he said. "Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day.”

Offline Balikar

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #48 on: June 07, 2015, 11:57:07 pm »
0
Modified the RP piece to reflect Blue's preferred ale...

Offline Balikar

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #49 on: June 08, 2015, 04:52:56 am »
0
Moonshine arrived back at New Tash Kalun in time to the chadzian defenders huddled up in the square.  Many of their siege shields were in tatters.  Their dead strewn all about the battlefield.  They still held their weapons high, as they chanted, "For Bryggan and the Once Upon a Time Virgin!"   Then they braced themselves for the worst.  The Bootlegger army took no mercy.  To the last man, every chadzian was cut down, and their entrails were left for the crows.

"Well then, now onto the real business.  Round up the townsfolk!"  Moonshine shouted.

"Will you butcher us too?  Put our wives in the brothels, and sell our children off to the slaver's market?"  A voice cried.

"No.  These lands have known far too many battles.  Too many lives from your town have been lost needlessly.  In fact, you've lost far too many since you were under Squidian control."  Moonshine smiled upon the people, and he waved some men forward from the rear of the line.  "Take these supplies.  Blankets, and food."

One of the men stepped forward.  He was dressed in the finest of robes, with gold around his neck.  "You are a great man."

Moonshine smiled down upon the man.  "I have not declared my terms.  This village has known crime for a long time, and I'd like that to continue.  There are two taverns, and a brothel."

The man paused.  "We do... the chadzians have their vices."

"That they do my friend."  Nimble of foot, Moonshine dropped to the ground.  "That they do.  I have no quarrel with your people.  My quarrel is with the chadzians, and their troops...  My first term.  Your public brothels will be filled with any woman in the village that carries a disease.  Any of the cleaner, younger maids... are to be kept in private.  They may service the armies that pass through, but should any chadzian step foot in this village, they are to only be served by those in the public brothel.  I expect the chadzians may be through here soon.  If you could make that happen, I'd be most grateful."

The man tilted his head, with a confused puppy dog look upon his face.  He furrowed his brows, trying hard to understand.  "That is a most odd request."

"Aye, it is.  You see, a disease that kills the chadzian troops, is a friend to me.  The less they have to fight me, the safer my own troops will be.  Plus, your pox ridden whores need work.  This will ensure they have coin to survive.  And the archer who chafes, with an uncontrollable itch on his crotch, may not find his arms so steady."  Moonshine paused.  "Your name, good sir?"

The man smiled.  "Dirkde.  I think I see where you are going.  And your second request?"

"It involves the taverns.  Bring forth the tavernkeepers.  Have no fear, I mean no harm."

Two men stepped forward next to Dirkde.  "Yes sir?"

"It is really quite simple.  Your stock of spirits...  You have plenty of chadzian Ale, do you not?"  Both of the men nodded.  "Good.  One of you will  serve the chadzian troops. You will not order more of it.  No, you will water it down.  Four fifths of every mug, served to a soldier of theirs must be water."

One of the men looked aghast.  "But business will plummet, and... and..."

Moonshine raised his hand.  "Stop.  The other will remove the signs, and go underground.  There, you will serve the patrons of this village, and anyone wearing a standard other than chadzian that passes through.  Squid's Demise, Warden's Wrath, and the Vineyards of Veluca will be your staple.  I will ensure an ample supply.  You'll split the profits.  As for the chadzian tavern... improve your menu.  They'll still spend the coin, and they'll still manage to get drunk.  Trust me."

"But they may fight more, and become unruly..."

At that moment, Dirkde chimed in.  "No, i think not.  They won't linger.  They'll spend their money, get their drink, become disease ridden, and then leave the village.  I think that's this Lord's goal..."

Moonshine smiled at him.  "That's why I leave you in charge Dirkde.  Ensure my terms are met, and the town is yours.  It's really good business for everyone."

And with that, Moonshine and his army melted into the forest.... 

Offline njames89

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #50 on: June 08, 2015, 10:47:06 pm »
+2
Vaguely amused James pissed from the ramparts in the general direction of the bootleggers of tash kulun. Turning to Prince Behemoth James said something along the lines of "shitpuppets everywhere, fucking shitpuppets".

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Offline Talanarsis

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #51 on: June 09, 2015, 06:12:42 am »
+2
Vaguely amused James pissed from the ramparts in the general direction of the bootleggers of tash kulun. Turning to Prince Behemoth James said something along the lines of "shitpuppets everywhere, fucking shitpuppets".

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Offline Doom_Carrot

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #52 on: June 09, 2015, 03:31:58 pm »
+1

"Whats up bundle of sticks?"


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EDIT: mcdeath how could you downvote patrick.... poor starfish  :cry:
« Last Edit: June 09, 2015, 08:46:24 pm by Doom_Carrot »
It was fun while it lasted.

Offline Balikar

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #53 on: June 10, 2015, 05:52:44 am »
-1
Shortly after the battle for New Tash Kalun, Moonshine returned to the map.  He knew that the chadzian armies might be moving towards the village.  Typically, they hated losing anything.  He had no plans of staying close.  He believed in maneuverability.  And thus, he had to figure out what to do with the ownership.

"There was a lad who wished to rally the lands against the chadzians.  I could offer it to him."  He thought, and he quickly got to his quill.  "It's a good offer.  A fair offer."

But alas, it wasn't meant to be.  The young lad, Doom_Carrot, wrote "I wish I could revoke my alliance. However, I need the support of the HCE should stronger factions raid my land as much as the HCE needs people like me to tend their land and create buffers between them and their enemies."  He wished to become their vassal.  From 'Rise up, and fight!'  To 'Grab the plow and till!'

There was no real fervor.  No real passion.  Back to the maps he went.  He studied them long and hard.  He could move south, and hit the chadzians in the desert.  He could head west, back towards Dhirim and the Eastern Plateau... or perhaps North.  Instead, he chose to head west.  He moved his piece, a miniature beer mug, into the forests of New Dashbiga, and there, he waited. 

Imagine his surprise when he realized that the lands the new vassal would tend, happened to be his next target.  With King James still in the village, Moonshine signaled his men to move forward... 


Offline njames89

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #54 on: June 10, 2015, 05:59:32 pm »
0
Easy now Propoagandalf
(click to show/hide)
Doom Carrot was given a fief personally by a member of the HCE, because he seemed very interested in strat. None of us even knew about the transfer until quite late.

Also, hate to piss on your parade but I'm nowhere near you, and there are a few thousand of our men with pointy sticks standing in between you and I.

Offline mcdeath

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #55 on: June 10, 2015, 06:29:37 pm »
+1
EDIT: mcdeath how could you downvote patrick.... poor starfish  :cry:

Did you miss the part where I declared war on vegetables?
McDeath: This guy doesn't shut his lip, but he's one of the funniest players in-game.

Offline Balikar

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #56 on: June 10, 2015, 07:49:31 pm »
+2
Easy now Propoagandalf
(click to show/hide)
Doom Carrot was given a fief personally by a member of the HCE, because he seemed very interested in strat. None of us even knew about the transfer until quite late.

Also, hate to piss on your parade but I'm nowhere near you, and there are a few thousand of our men with pointy sticks standing in between you and I.

Forgot who I'm talking to.  My bad.  I need to dumb things down.

One:  It was a roleplay piece.  I'm sure everyone other than you figured that out...
Two:  Roleplay pieces don't always jive with how things actually happen.  Example, I doubt Bryggan was in Curaw.  I doubt Tristan was in Curaw.  I doubt Tristan minded being involved, and i highly doubt he's actually heading to Suno like HIS piece stated.
Three:  You were the only defender to show.  If you hadn't shown up for that battle, then the transfer wouldn't have occurred.  I was giving you a hat tip, and figured I'd involve you solely for that reason. 
Four:  Even if you WERE in the fief, it's not like I could capture you.  Captures don't happen in this game... it'd be cool if they did, but they don't. 

Caught up now?  Ok good. 

Offline StonedSteel

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #57 on: June 10, 2015, 08:26:54 pm »
+1
ROFLFMAO

lol

propagandalf...

LOL


thats right up there with Liam Nerdson.
I REMEMBER PLAYING IN RAIN
THROUGH THE NIGHTFALL WITH FOG
THAT CLOGGED UP OUR EYES
BUT IM MORE HORRIFIED OF A MOD
I NO LONGER RECOGNIZE

Offline Tristan_of_Erzoth

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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #58 on: June 10, 2015, 08:53:40 pm »
0
Forgot who I'm talking to.  My bad.  I need to dumb things down.

One:  It was a roleplay piece.  I'm sure everyone other than you figured that out...
Two:  Roleplay pieces don't always jive with how things actually happen.  Example, I doubt Bryggan was in Curaw.  I doubt Tristan was in Curaw.  I doubt Tristan minded being involved, and i highly doubt he's actually heading to Suno like HIS piece stated.
Three:  You were the only defender to show.  If you hadn't shown up for that battle, then the transfer wouldn't have occurred.  I was giving you a hat tip, and figured I'd involve you solely for that reason. 
Four:  Even if you WERE in the fief, it's not like I could capture you.  Captures don't happen in this game... it'd be cool if they did, but they don't.

Caught up now?  Ok good.

Jokes on you I am in curaw. And I was going to suno until some other things happened and I was needed elsewhere. And I always enjoy being included in rp
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Re: Bootlegging Moonshine
« Reply #59 on: June 11, 2015, 04:38:31 am »
+4
The tavern was empty, save for one table where 3 men were quietly enjoying a beer together.  They were not talking, just enjoying the peace and solitude of the inn, staring into the fire which was the tavern's only source of light.  In their false sense of security they did not see the robed individual quietly glide out of the shadows.

"Tristan!" the stranger cried, slapping the king on the back, "I..."  but he had no time to finish what he was saying, for Tristan's instinctive reactions snapped him out of his reverie, and he had leaned forward, kicking his own chair backwards hard into the stranger's shins and had fell forward into a roll during which he had drawn his dagger and ended up in a crouch, dagger pointed at the newcomer.  Not that it mattered, for his two companions had drawn their swords in less than a heart beat, and had the stranger covered.

"Damn you guys," the stranger said, "James, Blue- put your bloody swords away.  It's me, Bryggan!"

The three burst out laughing. "Hah," Tristan said, "the man who took on Black Company and Acre with just one comrade still lives in fear of his wife."

"Shaddup", Bryggan grumbled, "she's a fine woman.  Bloodthirsty and treacherous, just like I like em.  It's just the anti drinking stance I don't like... and most of my enemies never had access to my bedroom before."

"Damn," James laughed, "Rather than fighting you, I should have just got Witchcraft to marry you.  But still," he said, raising a finger, "I'm not complaining.  Things have gone well with you as a leader."

"True," Blue added, "With you as Emperor, or, back in the day, as High King, things went well.  I guess it's because..."  Blue stopped, a blank look on his face.

"Hmmm," Tristan said, scratching his head.

"Whatever Bryggan does or does not do is beside the point," James snapped, then turned to Bryggan.  "Have a beer, old friend, "he said, "we have a jug of Karindi Kickass Ale here, and by chadz, they really improved it."

Bryggan sat down and poured himself some ale.  "Well," he said, taking a large sip, "things seem to be going well.  King James, you are doing a great job of controlling trade.  Crime is down and our members are getting wealthy.  I cannot thank you enough for the job you're doing of running our fiefs."

"Yes, well I should thank Wix for his input," James said, "he devised a map, setting trade routes for two types of traders- the short traders, who keep S&D down in short trades, and the long distance haulers who make the profits.  Here, I'll show you his map:
"Brilliant!" Bryggan said, "though I hope this does not fall in the hands of our enemies- it is far too important.

"Which brings me to my next point," he continued and turned to Tristan, "My good 'Sword of the South.  First of all, congratulations on yet another victory.  But what are you going to do with these villages in the steppes?  They are outside our realm of influence and, quite frankly, I have no interest in expending troops to protect them."

"I've been trying to sell them for awhile,"  Tristan said, "a few nibbles, but no real offers.  So I decided to give them to this new faction, some immigrant.  Goes by the name of Doom Carrot, of the Pelagor Empire."

"Pelagor Empire?" James mused, "he must be far from home."

"Doom Carrot..." Bryggan said, "I know that name... Doom Carrot, Doom Carrot...  Oh by Armagon... um, sorry James, by chadz!  That is the new fellow who was preaching against the rise of our empire!  Yelling in the forums and all that."

"Oh yeah, I know," Tristan answered, "but I couldn't just give it to a friend or ally of us.  Dutchy would attack immediately; and if not him, any of the other factions would strike, knowing we have no real military presence there.  Just to piss us off."

"Like we attacked those villages just to piss Dutchy off," laughed Bryggan.

"Well, despite his animosity to our empire, I thought if we gave him lands, he might start his own faction- one that would be hopefully neutral in our wars.  Perhaps start his own adventures, rather than tagging onto the ones we are on."

Blue, who had kept himself busy staring and occasionally scribbling in his ledgers, finally joined the conversation.  "It looks like Doom Carrot has already started his own adventures," he said, "Moonshine got it into his head to attack him."

"Moonshine!" the other three exclaimed.

"Now why the hell would Moonshine attack an avowed enemy of ours," Bryggan asked, "I thought his whole plan was to try hurt the empire?"

"Well, he has been sitting in his castle doing nothing for so long, he must have gone insane," James suggested.

"Oh, that's true beyond the shadow of a doubt," Tristan said, " going on a 'rampage' with a couple hundred men.  I can't believe I almost marched to Suno... I was expecting an actual army... a fight... a glorious battle."

"You overestimate our enemies' honour as much as you overestimated their strength," James sighed, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again- we are surrounded by shitlords."

"I get the idea that Moonshine considers himself some sort of rogue guerrilla fighter," Bryggan said, "his little show in Curaw proved that.  Like his little gnat bites would hurt the empire. I thought we'd let him buzz around til someone ran into him.  But I can't understand why he would attack our enemy?"

"I think Moonshine is a little less of an idealist and a little more of a brigand," Blue suggested, "Dashbigha has 300,000 silver in it.  Moonshine never traded, and the taxes from his fief would not build a suitable army.  He needs money, and I guess silver is more important to him than fraternity."

"Oh, that scoundrel," Bryggan murmered, pouring himself another tankard, "So what do we do?  Do we help this enemy of ours to prevent another enemy getting the silver?  With Doom Carrot in charge of Dashbigha, I'm sure he will make some pact with Dutchy."

"You really ought to leave the south more," Blue said, "weren't you gentlemen just in Curaw?  Well, if you had left the taverns once in awhile, you would have heard Dutchy threaten Doom Carrot.  Pretty much said that anyone who was not a direct vassal of his will be crushed and their lands taken back."

James guffawed in a rather unkingly manner, but the situation demanded it.  "Now that is rich," he said, "here the world is saying we are the evil empire, yet when we give away lands to a newcomer, they pounce on it like crows on carrion!"

"Well, I gave away these lands in good faith," Tristan said, "I feel it would besmirch my honour to not help Doom Carrot hold it at least for a little while."

"Very well," Bryggan said, "we go help our enemy defend against our enemy.  And I think we should take efforts to protect this particular enemy's independence.  Nothing has been signed concerning peace with Dutchy... the war with him just kinda petered out."

The others were all about to comment, but Blue raised a hand.  "The senate, gents," he said, "the senate."