War of Northern Aggression

[CrazyCracka420]

Excellent more battles, more fun organized fights, more EX PEE FOR ALL!

*checks c-rpg battle page* ... no battles tonight

 

[Relit]

Excellent more battles, more fun organized fights, more EX PEE FOR ALL!

*checks c-rpg battle page* ... no battles tonight

 

Soon Huesby. Soon. (and not Blizzard soon either, god I hate them)

[Bronto]

Can't we all just fucking stop killing eachother for a good month, farm some damn troops, and invade EU using Fisdnar as our foothold? We all know that North America is superior to these fief camping shits, and I think we stop talking about it and just fucking do it. We already have tons of large groups (FCC, CC, Chaos, SS, Occitan, Astralis, TKoV, Hospitallers, LL) If we stop shit-talking eachother, use the GOBBLIN momentum and rush these EU nerds, it will be a ton more fun.

Do you have any idea how much I've typed this?

[CrazyCracka420]

Well not only would be get destroyed (even if we were fighting on equal ping, due to their sheer numbers of troops and gold) but we'd also be fighting with 150+ ping at terrible times (due to night time settings). 

I think we should continue yolo'ing in NA until we have no more troops/gold.

[SP1N]

If it were up to me, then everybody would own their own fief. We'd set up fun battles with kitten catapults and all the armor designs would make us look like children pretending to be knights.

visitors can't see pics , please register or login


But alas, I am no dev and this is a video game people take too seriously. Let's just have fun and get some XP yeah?

[KaMiKaZe_JoE]

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Joe rode into the sunny, sea-side  town at the head of a company of completely naked men. The bare-backed horsemen rode slowly, with confused and embarrassed looks on their faces. They had initially resisted Joe's order to strip (it was Naked Time), so he'd had to reassert his dominance over them by naked oil-wrestling their strongest men. Neither of the men that he'd wrestled had actually resisted, or even been told that the combat was going to happen, but fuck it #yolo.

The soldiers cantered into the collection of bungalows and huts and fanned out. They had forged several miles inland from their initial encampment at the beach, and the men were tired from marching. But, they were also eager. They had come to this collection of obscure tropical islands looking for Reinhardt's lost heir, Ronald McDonald. They would not leave until they found their man. Joe wouldn't let them.

Two of the soldiers dragged an old, struggling woman to Joe. She had thick, sun-tanned skin and grey, wispy hair. Her scared eyes darted from naked soldier to naked soldier, confused. Joe's men threw her at the feet of his horse. He stared imperiously down at the quivering woman, his hand gripping a Masterwork Heavy Lance with white-knuckles. He hissed down at her, like an angry cat.

She frowned.

"Where is the Wandering Scotsman?" he asked.

"I dunno."

Joe didn't have time for this wench. His mission as one of life and death--all for Kesh's love. He started shrieking, his tongue sticking straight out of his rounded mouth. "SPREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The woman recoiled. "OH GOD!"

Joe's beloved Champion Courser started barking at her. The rest of the men, catching on, starting yelling at her in a mighty cacophony of verbal abuse.

Joe let out another hyena's shriek and leapt off his horse at the old lady, tackling her to the ground. He yelled in her face, "WHERE'S RONALD MCDONALD?!"

She sobbed incoherently, apparently overwhelmed by Joe's interrogation techniques. He dismounted the trembling woman and remounted his beloved Champion Courser. He gestured for everyone to stop yelling. He stared at the woman, eyeing her up like a bowler hat would eye up a fresh piece of kiwi. She had to die. He raised his Masterwork Heavy Lance high, ready to spear her dumb, kiwi body...

Then he stabbed her and she died.

Suddenly, there was a great commotion behind Joe. He turned in the saddle to see a band of swarthy men in tri-cornered hats, brandishing pistols (they don't work, there's no gunpowder yet) and curvy swords approaching his band of naked men. A booming voice shouted out from the midst of the band of funny men. "Joe! Joe! Where be yee?" A great, bearded man--the most glorious piece of man-pirate that Joe had ever seen--pushed to the front of the group of interlopers. He walked on a little peg-leg.

It was Matey. Matey frowned at Joe, up on his horse. "Joe, by the high seas what're yee doin? Ain't ya heard about the Confederacy?" He stared at Joe.

Joe scratched his balls.

"Fucks, man! They be invading us! WITCHCRAFT sent me to haul yer arse back home to fight t' good fight. He, err, said that 'Ronald can wait', whatever that means."

Joe surveyed his men, naked and looking expectantly at him. He looked at the dead old kiwi. He looked down at his horse, who looked back at him and nodded. He looked back at Matey, who had pulled a French fry out of his beard and was eating it. WITCHCRAFT was right, Ronald could wait. He was just a means to an end, and this Confederacy business would stall Kesh's rise to dominance long enough to spare Joe from his quest for a while. "Matey," Joe said, "Floop da whop whoop diddily doo."

Matey nodded and they went back to FCC land to beat up the shitty Confederacy of bad factions right in their nerdy dumb dumb, moonshine brewing, bible sniffing faces.

[Real_Dece_Guy]

There's a lot of butthurt and responding butthurt in this thread already, but I never learned to leave well enough alone, so I'll stick my oar in.

First off, if the declaration of war starting the thread had been "we want XP, fuck you", it would have been an honest statement, and a lot of these problems would have been avoided.

Instead, we get "Casus belli: Diplomatic insult, Border frictions, and Violated Sphere of Influence."

Since you said that, we're entitled to an explanation.  Please, enumerate those insults, frictions, and violations.  There has been no interference by any FCC member with any CC troops, traders, or fiefs, including the villages you hold deep inside the FCC's own sphere of influence, and have enjoyed peaceful possession of since the end of the last war.

Then there's your "War goal":  "End of FCC Hegemony over much of the map."  I'll post an image later, but for now, anyone can take a look at the map and count the number of fiefs FCC and your Confederacy have.  Take one of ours and you'll have a larger (and far more solid) hegemony than we possess.

It only adds insult to injury when you act surprised and offended that FCC members object to you trying to reform the anti-FCC carebear alliance (Occitan/Hospitallers/LL/Frisians) that just broke up a few weeks ago, only this time with Ravens, Dracul, and TKoV added into the mix.  You even try to suborn the GOBBLINS into the exact kind of Mega-bloc war they started their faction to avoid.  I find this disappointing.

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Hospitaller and LL are already actively fighting FCC, so I'm not even sure why you sent them an invitation. 

Ill tempered insult expunged after reflection

[DaruviansUnmutedAccount]

There's a lot of butthurt and responding butthurt in this thread already, but I never learned to leave well enough alone, so I'll stick my oar in.

First off, if the declaration of war starting the thread had been "we want XP, fuck you", it would have been an honest statement, and a lot of these problems would have been avoided.

Instead, we get "Casus belli: Diplomatic insult, Border frictions, and Violated Sphere of Influence."

Since you said that, we're entitled to an explanation.  Please, enumerate those insults, frictions, and violations.  There has been no interference by any FCC member with any CC troops, traders, or fiefs, including the villages you hold deep inside the FCC's own sphere of influence, and have enjoyed peaceful possession of since the end of the last war.

Then there's your "War goal":  "End of FCC Hegemony over much of the map."  I'll post an image later, but for now, anyone can take a look at the map and count the number of fiefs FCC and your Confederacy have.  Take one of ours and you'll have a larger (and far more solid) hegemony than we possess.

It only adds insult to injury when you act surprised and offended that FCC members object to you trying to reform the anti-FCC carebear alliance (Occitan/Hospitallers/LL/Frisians) that just broke up a few weeks ago, only this time with Ravens, Dracul, and TKoV added into the mix.  You even try to suborn the GOBBLINS into the exact kind of Mega-bloc war they started their faction to avoid.  I find this disappointing.

(click to show/hide)

Hospitaller and LL are already actively fighting FCC, so I'm not even sure why you sent them an invitation. 

Some of us don't like being fed bullshit.  If you're attacking, attack, but don't come up with fake justifications for your aggression and try to play the injured party.  It leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth (including, I hope, your own).

Ya see dude, the thing is, they don't give a fuck what you or anyone else thinks about it.

[Real_Dece_Guy]

Ya see dude, the thing is, they don't give a fuck what you or anyone else thinks about it.

Then why make the excuses in the first post?  Inquiring Autistic minds want to know.

[Torben]

+1 for great music 

[CrazyCracka420]

Then why make the excuses in the first post?  Inquiring Autistic minds want to know.

Because it's a war game and it's better "ARE PEE" to actually have a reason for going to war with someone than just saying "fuck you, XP TIME!"

They'd never win anyways, even if they said it was just for fun you'd still have FCC and FCC apologists coming in here complaining about something. 

[Matey]

Because it's a war game and it's better "ARE PEE" to actually have a reason for going to war with someone than just saying "fuck you, XP TIME!"

They'd never win anyways, even if they said it was just for fun you'd still have FCC and FCC apologists coming in here complaining about something.

The sunglasses in your picture are reflecting back some of the FCCs glory. I kindly ask that you stop redirecting our glory in such an offensive manner without our permission and in directions not of our choosing.

[njames89]

James had been so drunk of Curavian ice wine he'd barely remembered that Delson had come into the whorehouse in the wee hours of the morn to deliver a communication. The Central Confederacy had openly declared war on the Free Companies. James pondered the implications. It had seemed as though such a declaration was inevitable.

Distraught James walked the walls of Curaw, having recently taken over its operations he was seeing to it that the defences and facilities were in top operating order. "Send word to the northern lumber camps to increase production as much as possible. We will have to store enough lumber and supplies to see us through a winter conflict" James spoke to the steward of the fortress city. A conflict through the snows was a sick and twisted idea, there was no doubt that the forests of the tundra and the surrounding areas would yield a foul crop of thawing bodies come the spring. James wondered when if ever he would see an end to this conflict to the wars that enveloped the land he loved so much. So much blood had been shed at Yruma. Would there be more to come?

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JK lol this should be fun! XP!!!! Looking forward to more battles also yes good music.

Here is some more epic musix

James was ready, since taking over the faction the Crusaders had prepared fortified and enhanced their positions. The men were itching for battle. The time had come. Adressing his men in the courtyard James spoke "In the honor of the passed King Reinhardt the Crusaders of Acre swear to defend our holy land and slay the infidels, We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in the tundra, we shall fight in the forests and planes, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the field, we shall defend our land, whatever the cost may be". As the King finished a powerful cheer of "Deus Vult!" came from the men who had for these recently passed weeks had little to do but sharpen their blades and pray.

[The Last Ironside REDGAR]

I, like everyone else, am looking forward to the clash of these two particular factions simply because of the enormous resources they both have, leading to many fun fights and tons of XP, and for no reason other than that.  I do have to say, however, that while Relit is simply the messenger of a decision made by others, if indeed this war is only for XP, claiming that FCC has committed 'atrocities', listing Cassius Belle of violations and the like, and naming a goal of essentially wiping FCC off the map, or at least greatly reducing their size while the CC grows, looks much like an insult and adds much hostility that would not exist if war was simply declared for an XP war. 

I think y'all need to cool your jets for just a minute.  Let's have a fun war. FCC, you guys have been looking to expend extra resources on fighting in interesting places already. Hell, now you'll have the perfect opportunity to fight at Halmar and Narra.  Central Confederacy, you guys have been bored as shit for the past few months and everyone knows it. I don't object to this war, for what it's worth.  But maybe you shouldn't make FCC out to be such bad guys, personal relations, even though they are GOOD, aside.  That is to say, I don't think FCC has done anything to deserve being insulted. From what I know of the past few weeks, setting this discussion with Dracul aside for a moment, both sides have completely honored the peace; there's been more fighting with HoC recently and that was an accident. So why don't you guys just take the knife away form each others throats, shake hands, and then proceed to demolish each other's armies gloriously, but for the sake of XP, not these so-called atrocities. As far as attacking your neighbors goes, hell, FCC can fight LL and KH and whoever, especially because it's mutual fighting. Hell, I'm just surprised that FCC hasn't fought the Gobblins yet, or really, visa versa.   And speaking of Gobblins, I'd be very disappointed if Daruvian accepted such an alliance; accept defeat or be defeated, that is the Gobblin way, is it not?

As for HoC, we are officially remaining neutral in this conflict militarily. Besides, there are Gobblins running wild that still have it out for us!

[Relit]

There's a lot of butthurt and responding butthurt in this thread already, but I never learned to leave well enough alone, so I'll stick my oar in.

First off, if the declaration of war starting the thread had been "we want XP, fuck you", it would have been an honest statement, and a lot of these problems would have been avoided.

Instead, we get "Casus belli: Diplomatic insult, Border frictions, and Violated Sphere of Influence."

Since you said that, we're entitled to an explanation.  Please, enumerate those insults, frictions, and violations.  There has been no interference by any FCC member with any CC troops, traders, or fiefs, including the villages you hold deep inside the FCC's own sphere of influence, and have enjoyed peaceful possession of since the end of the last war.

Then there's your "War goal":  "End of FCC Hegemony over much of the map."  I'll post an image later, but for now, anyone can take a look at the map and count the number of fiefs FCC and your Confederacy have.  Take one of ours and you'll have a larger (and far more solid) hegemony than we possess.

It only adds insult to injury when you act surprised and offended that FCC members object to you trying to reform the anti-FCC carebear alliance (Occitan/Hospitallers/LL/Frisians) that just broke up a few weeks ago, only this time with Ravens, Dracul, and TKoV added into the mix.  You even try to suborn the GOBBLINS into the exact kind of Mega-bloc war they started their faction to avoid.  I find this disappointing.

(click to show/hide)

Hospitaller and LL are already actively fighting FCC, so I'm not even sure why you sent them an invitation. 

Some of us don't like being fed bullshit.  If you're attacking, attack, but don't come up with fake justifications for your aggression and try to play the injured party.  It leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth (including, I hope, your own).

Let me go ahead and spell out everything you want answered real quick. It is not going to resolve anything and your going to get upset and ask more questions and take umbrage some more. But since you asked so nicely I will do that for you.

Diplomatic Insult: Matey said that "Raven is in eternal war with HoC" - This is a lie and hurt our relations with HoC. It is the very definition of a diplomatic insult. Border Frictions: We have 3 villages FCC claims and that we also claim, again this is literally the definition of a border friction. Violated Sphere of influence: FCC is attacking our neighbors and yet again the definition of violating our sphere. Did you even attempt to understand what these three casus belli's even were before bringing them up? Somebody needs to play some more EU3/4 and CK2. Let us not also forget the recent numerous armies FCC marched straight through Dracul's section of traitor land without so much as a "by your leave".

Under war goals it literally says XP is part of what we are after. So I do not know how to make it more clear to you. Seriously did you even read it? Or did you just get angry because other people did. Ive seen this in areas under a riot, a certain section of the crowd becomes aggressive then the rest sort of lemming along with them.

"Hegemony" is a sort of open interpretation. FCC has the ability to hit just about every corner of the map effectively and in force more so than just about any other faction (except us). This war goal was mostly added as a sort of joke, you know like most of the opening post. The "South" accused the "North" of asserting its hegemony in places where it did not belong during the Civil War, its why I added that. Because it was funny.

Calling it a carebear alliance, does not actually make it one, I hope you are aware. And no we are not trying to form a alliance with the clans that were listed (except TkoV, weve been allied with them since practically strat began), it was more of a call to arms of like minded (read: At war with FCC) people. And adding the GOBBLIN's was a slight mistake apparently they are NOT at war with FCC, a recent skirmish between them confused me slightly.

As far as being fed bullshit, perhaps you should take a step back and realize the majority of the post was a humorous homage to the American Civil War with a crpg twist on it. This is a war game. Game. Settle down.