Go easy on me guys, first time RP coming at you.
Rubes woke up disoriented to the cry's of thousands. Where was he? What was happening? What time was it? The last thing Rubes remembered was relaxing and smoking a bowl to pass the time until his army's assault on New Emerin. Then it hit him. He had smoked himself retarded and passed out right before the battle! He rushed to put his armor on, while worrying about how his friends were faring in the battle. He hoped Dr. Pepper wasn't dead, Pepper had a nice ass that he couldn't wait to take to pound town. Rubes strongly suspected Dr. Pepper even enjoyed Ass to Mouth. Rube's then grabbed his Persian Battle Axe and set out towards the hill that overlooked the village. When he reached the top of the hill, he was relieved to see that his men were doing a great job, Pibb was leading the army and had even managed to cut down a couple hundred of the Aggregate scum, thus evening the numbers. The spirit of Rhalzo was truly with them tonight. That's when Rubes noticed Kesh standing on a roof releasing arrows into his friends. It both angered and aroused him, he hated himself for admitting it, but Kesh was looking fucking sexy in that oh so tight Kuyak, he idly wondered whether Kesh would be interested in being tag teamed by himself and Dr. Pepper. 'Well' he thought 'If we win this battle, she wont have a choice.' Rubes let out a mighty roar filled with both rage and lust, then charged down the hill, letting his boner lead him to his men and victory.
Several hours later, Rubes and his surviving army stood in the village of New Emerin, surrounded by the bodies of the Aggregate child soldiers, Rubes felt no guilt for slaughtering the numerous 12 year olds in the RoR army. In fact, he was very pleased with his men. Dr. Pepper had done a great job leading the army in his absence, and he looked amazing covered in blood, brains, and smoke. His troops were celebrating the victory with alcohol, some sweet sativa picked from the fields of New Emerin, and each others company. He saw his friend Sanderson blind folded surrounded by men playing a victory game of "Who's in My Mouth?". Canary and his Crew were already planning for the next battle, and Arrowaine was fingerpainting in blood. There was so much joy around him, but Rubes couldn't help but feel a little sad that Kesh had managed to escape with some of the Free Companie's survivors. Sensing Rube's sorrow, Dr. P looked at him and said "Don't worry buddy, we'll get that sweet ass eventually, but in the mean time, we spared a few of RoR's child soldiers, how about we go make them our bitches?". Immediately cheered up, Rubes and Pepper started walking towards the prisoners, letting their boners lead the way.