In a not so distant land and a time far far away, the Draculmancers were perched inside the steel belly of a great hawk-like blackbird, preparing for their next raid on the cossack threat that has been spoiling what was once the great steppes. Readying themselves for war, they sat in the hollow bird. Among their company was the glorious leader Artyem(peace be upon him), McDeltah The O'Fearless, Larry the Mystically Cheetallic, and a travelling spiritual doppelganger of the "Old One."
After a long chat over a magically entuned sound reception talisman, Artyem called out " Hey brethren, I hearsay FCC and Fimbulvetr are going to war back in the old realm of sword and horsery." "I don't give a fuck." Replied McDeltah. "I really want to buy a nova scotia arms .30-69 spudular cannon," said Larricus, out of context. The Old One then said something so sensible that his fellow Draculmancers couldn't even comprehend, and they went about their business as though he had said nothing at all. He does that from time to time.
The belly of the avian beast churned open, and the Draculmancers dropped forth onto the ground.
The air was thick with sand, but even thicker with the screams of angered steppe residents. They began to pelt the party with stones flying with excessive speed. The company retorted with their own arms. Deltah's below-decks mounted trebuchet began making waste of the assailants with due haste. Thin leaden shells filled with quicklime began to fill the air.
After a long and drawn out engagement, the Draculmancers licked their wounds, and formed around a campfire whilst Artyem called forth another bird.
"Where the fuck is the Saucey one?" exclaimed Deltah. " "The Whorelock Celinthe has entwined him in her own cartoonish dimension and set him to an endless grind," replied The Old One. Deltah wanted to drive forth into the land, slay the sultry enchantress, and free his battle brother. But this dimension was one he knew well. It was one they had all known well. Even McDeltah The O'Fearless, a man who would hula-hoop with lucifer's own nightmares just to boast of it afterwards, shivered with disgust at the mere mention of its name.
And so there our heroes sat. Not giving a fuck.
