It's obvious everyone wants your sword...and that's decidedly NOT a euphemism.  No one can help it if you're a crotchety old man who won't crack a smile at even the most preposterous animated gifs.  Dangling a danish sword over the heads of crpg addicts is not the same as dangling a danish pastry over the heads of fat-camp kids.  Eventually crpg addicts will become disillusioned, angry, and they'll turn against their puppet master by poisoning his symbolically decorated wine cup while he recovers from the after-glo of repeated sexual favors.
Don't take my word for it...history repeats itself over and over.  BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH.