Damn, i hate taking a shit at work
Normally, i can always hold it in until i am back home, but today was one of them rare occasions, when i had to unload no matter what...
It was a perfect plan! Waited until late hours, so there is not much action in the hallways, and everyone who had to shit after lunch - are done with their business. Monitored the area in front of the toilets for a minute, to insure there were no co-workers nearby. All sound and quite! Rushed to the handicap cabin, since it is separated from the others, and is more spacious and comfortable. Placed some paper in the bottom, to silence the splashing as much as possible. Took my pants down and pushed hard for a quick release!
Jesusallmightygod it was huge! Felt like i am giving birth to a fucking whale! No sound what so ever... Hmm... Knew right away that something is wrong! As further inspection revealed - my log of shit was so long and came out so quickly, that it penetrated the water surface and reached the bottom without breaking... Half of it was just laying comfortably on the inner side, almost reaching the toilet seat.
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loginMaa-aaa-aaan, even after 3 consecutive flushing it was still standing firmly straight in the middle! Had to break that mfucker using a toilet brush, and literally push the parts IN the toilet! Imagine my face, when i realized that my shit blocked the pipe, and water is filling the bawl without actually going any further! O-M-G! Fuck fuckeddy fucking fuck!!! Brown-yellow stinky soup, almost up to the edge! Luckily, a few seconds of desperate brush twisting in the toilets center unclogged the shit-dam, and my feces rushed into abyss! All was still quiet outside, as i sneaked back to my place. Pffff... What an intense end to long and boring working day!
True story! Took me 20 minutes to write it down, and I am ready to go home! Freedom!