But that's not fun... I don't want to sit in a group of players and do nothing. I want to have fun, but of course you can't, because any fight will be ended by an arrow, bolt, throwing axe, or lance to the back.
I suggest you play single player. In that you can totally dominate without any worries. If you put damage down to a quarter and buy some plate, you can pretty much walk into any situation and destroy everyone.
Or else play cRPG for the fun of playing. I am the most useless dueler out there, but I take that into account and still have a lot of fun. I'm a 1 hander/thrower so I go for opportunistic kills when I can, or try help my teammates kill. When people are dueling I'll dance around with a jarid pointed at the enemy, which really throws their melee skills off, or I'll be the bait for when people are hidden behind walls for ambush, or just try draw guys out so archers or cav can finish them for me.
In fact, you're probably dying- "fight will be ended by an arrow, bolt, throwing axe, or lance to the back," because you're falling for all the tricks team players use to kill the foolhardy. So yeah, my advice is play single player.
PS. When cav kills me I feel nothing but shame