You're missing the point of my post sir.
I apologized in public, repeatedly. I admitted I was in the wrong, publicly. When you felt a similar feeling of guilt over your own posts, you apologized in private and maintained the nature of your posts in public which were responsible for your feelings of guilt, after a very slight hiatus. This indicates to me that you are more concerned with your reputation on the public forum than with how you demonstrated the quality of your character within private conversation.
I am not doubting your character. All I am asking is why you try so hard to create an image of yourself in the public forums, but within private conversation you retreat from that image which you have established publicly? I believe sir that you are in conflict. It is also my belief that one in conflict with himself will never be satisfied, no matter their actions, provided they remain in conflict.