cRPG

Off Topic => General Off Topic => Topic started by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 01:55:45 pm

Title: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...(mean jokes)
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 01:55:45 pm
Barman: Oh, you must be American.

American: You can tell from my order and accent, huh?

Barman: No, because you're the fattest fuck I've ever seen.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 01:56:35 pm
Polish guy walks up to the counter:

Pole: Can I get some kielbasa please?

Cashier: Oh you must be Polish.

Pole: So if I get a taco I must be Mexican, if I get a pizza I must be Italian?

Cashier: No, it's just that this is a hardware store.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 01:57:25 pm
You know why norwegians always have one swedish friend?

So they can park in handicap spots.
Title: not very funny
Post by: Vibe on December 15, 2015, 01:57:51 pm
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 01:58:50 pm
A polish boy comes home from elementary school very excited.

"Mom! Mom! Today the teacher asked a question and I knew the answer!"

"Really, son? What was the question??"

"Who farted?"
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 02:01:31 pm
"What's your name?", asked the teacher.

"Mohammad," he replied.

"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Mike.

" Mohammad returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohammad?", his mother asked.

"My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Mike”.

"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"

And his mother beat the shit out of him. Then she called his father, who beat the shit out of him again.

The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his fresh bruises.

"What happened to you, Mike?", she asked.

"Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two fucking Arabs."
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 02:02:13 pm
Two black men are walking down the street and they see a sign that says "Be white for 99 cents!" The first man says he has the dollar on him, the second man only has 98 cents. The first man says, okay, I'll go in and if it works, I'll give you the penny. First first man goes in and comes a while later. The second man asks "Can I have the penny?" The first man replies "Get a job!"
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 02:08:38 pm
Two Pakistani men are sitting at a bar, one of them turns to the other and says "I bet I'm more Scottish than you,"

he continues, "I wear a kilt, I drink whiskey, I eat haggis, and I know all the words to Flower of Scotland."

The other, only half listening turns to him and says "get tae fuck ya paki cunt."
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 02:09:49 pm
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Golem on December 15, 2015, 02:13:47 pm
All women would look like hookers?
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:40:35 pm
A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:41:32 pm
"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?"
"The wheelchair"
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:42:54 pm
If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist
black people would rob me
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:45:42 pm
A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes, the Greek guy says, "well, we have the Parthenon."
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "we have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "we Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."
The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "but we built the Roman Empire"
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "we invented sex!"
The Italian thinks for a couple of seconds and replies quietly, "that is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women!"
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:47:52 pm
3 Greeks and 3 Turks are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the 3 Turks each buy tickets and watch as the 3 Greeks buy only a single ticket.
"How are 3 people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one Turk. "Watch and you'll see," answers one Greek.
 They all board the train. The Turks take their respective seats but all three Greeks cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, " Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
 The Turks saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Turks decide to copy the Greeks on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Greeks don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Turk. "Watch and you'll see," answers a Greek. When they board the train the 3 Turks cram into a restroom and the 3 Greeks cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Greeks leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Turks are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:48:39 pm
A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese go into a bar and order a drink. Who picks up the bill?
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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:50:54 pm
Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece.
The mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered aloud how on earth he could afford such a house.

The Spaniard replied:‘You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to construct a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, I could build this place.’

The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek mayor's house: gold taps, marble floors, diamond doorknobs, it was marvellous.

When he asked how he’d raised the money to build this incredible house, the Greek mayor said:‘You see that bridge over there?’

The Spaniard replied:‘No.’
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:55:21 pm
A Catholic couple is about to get married, and the woman sits the man down for a heart-to-heart the day before the wedding. She says, "Honey, before we do this, I have something I need to get off my chest. You see, a few years back, my family was very poor, and for a while I had to work as a prostitute."

The man leaps out of his chair and shouts, "Oh no, absolutely not! I can't get married to you!"

The woman starts crying, and begs him to forgive her, "Please don't leave me - surely you can live with a woman who used to be a bit of a whore..."

The man sits down and says, "Oh, that's fine. For a minute I thought you said Protestant."
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:56:46 pm
A Catholic Priest and a Jewish Rabbi are hanging out at the park. A little boy walks by and the Priest says to the Rabbi: Wanna fuck him? The Rabbi replies: Out of what?
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:57:59 pm
NSFL :
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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 04:59:06 pm
OK one last and I`ll stop for today

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Beauchamp on December 15, 2015, 06:02:38 pm
girl gets completely drunk at a party and in the morning she wakes up below a cow. looking up she says: "well... the order is up to you guys, but the last one drives me home!"

Why wasn't Jesus born in Russia?
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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Angantyr on December 15, 2015, 06:46:53 pm
What's the difference between an Afghani Military Base and a Pakistani Elementary School?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: darmaster on December 15, 2015, 06:48:29 pm
Another good reason to reset the forums
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Angantyr on December 15, 2015, 06:52:06 pm
What separates humans from the animals?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: pogosan on December 15, 2015, 07:12:43 pm
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Clockworkkiller on December 15, 2015, 08:46:33 pm
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Jap, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a bar...

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Asheram on December 15, 2015, 09:08:23 pm
An Italian, a Jew and a Greek... all die at the same time and find themselves in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells them "You three barely qualify for Heaven. You screw up one time here, and you're going to Hell!"
He tells the Italian "You're a glutton. You eat too much pasta. Have any pasta here, and you're going to Hell!"
He tells the Jew "You care too much about money. Don't even think about getting money here, or you're going to Hell!"
He tells the Greek "You fornicate too much. You'll bugger anything with a hole in it. If you even think about sex, you're going to Hell!"
So the three walk down Heaven's gold-paved streets until they pass an Italian restaurant. The Italian smells the delicious sauce and says "I think I'll have some lunch." The other two tell him "Don't go in there! You heard what St. Peter said about eating pasta!" The Italian says "Aw, they're not going to worry about one little plate of spaghetti."
He goes, orders a plate of spaghetti, and when he takes his first bite, he disappears.
So the Jew and Greek continue their walk. Soon, they see a ten-dollar bill laying on the sidewalk. The Jew walks toward it, and the Greek says "Don't pick up that ten-dollar bill! You heard what St. Peter said about getting money!"
The Jew says, "Aw they're not going to worry about ten measly dollars." So he bends over to pick up the bill, and the Greek disappears.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Kafein on December 15, 2015, 09:11:59 pm
A cRPG archer walks into a bar.

There is no counter.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Asheram on December 15, 2015, 09:26:32 pm
A cRPG plater tried to walk into a bar but couldn't fit through the door with all the arrows and throwing lances sticking from him.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Jona on December 15, 2015, 10:09:06 pm
Have you heard about the new car designed by the Jews?

It stops on a dime and then picks it up.



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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Paul on December 15, 2015, 10:09:23 pm
A Greek guy walks into a bank.

Greek guy: Give loan.

Bank employee: But you didn't pay back your last one yet.

Greek guy: Fuck you, malaka! It's your fault I didn't pay it back.
You fuckin loan shark. The interest is too damn high. I bet your mother lay with a Turk. Anyway, why don't you pay back the loan first your grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-uncles aquaintance took from my mother-side grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grand father's donkey masseur 200 years ago? Ye, you won't see a dime until this is settled, dickhead. Anyway it's all Merkel's fault. Refugees took ma job. Don't you know any mercy? I barely surviving on 3 warm meals a day, you fcking nazi. If golden dawn was in power they'd kick out parasites like you and make us true blooded Greek rich by drilling for oil on the Turkish occupied part of Cypria. What can possibly go wrong? Give the loan now, asshat! We Greek basicly invented everything. Show some respect! I wish Putin would see this so he could bomb the shit out of your zionist-enabling ass. FUCK YOU. Because of Alexander the Great anything belongs to Greece anyway. And no, there weren't any gays back then. If you shave them boys hair there they count as girl, idiot. Gayness was invented by Turks to bad-mouth us Greek. You didn't know that, right? Get some education AFTER you handed me the money.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 10:16:36 pm
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Turks & Gentlemen, German humor at its finest  :lol:
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 10:24:14 pm
An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital. A nurse comes out and says to the men "I'm sorry, but there's a been a mix-up and we don't know which baby belongs to which mother. Any chance one of you could come in and see if you can help?" The Englishman stands up and says that he'll help. He walks into the ward and, a couple of minutes later walks out with what is obviously a Pakistani baby. The Pakistani man stands up and shouts "What do you think you're doing?!" And the Englishman said "Look, one of those babies in there is Welsh, and I'm not taking any chances."
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 10:24:47 pm
how does a Welshman find sheep in tall grass?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 10:27:24 pm
Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 15, 2015, 10:33:06 pm
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Angantyr on December 15, 2015, 11:35:28 pm
What's white and carries a bucket of water on its head?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Angantyr on December 15, 2015, 11:53:51 pm
I'm not a racist, some of my best friends are from London.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: the real god emperor on December 16, 2015, 10:31:35 am
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.  He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak.  His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail.  He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father."  The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed"  At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.  A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Beauchamp on December 16, 2015, 12:50:56 pm
A guy in Russia is drowning in the icy cold river, two cops are standing just 5 meters from him but they don't do anything ignoring him in whatever he is doing. Desperately not knowing what to do, in the last breath he shouts: "The president is an imbecile!!!!!!".

Both cops immediately jump into the water, as they pull him out they yell: "You're arrested for offending the head of the state".

Guy quickly counters: "But I meant American president!"

Cops:"You won't fool us, we know very well which president is an imbecile"

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Vovka on December 16, 2015, 01:06:29 pm
Guess who's a racist, who's turk hater and who's russofobic  :P
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Paul on December 16, 2015, 02:47:19 pm
Guess who's a racist, who's turk hater and who's russofobic  :P

The Turk hater is a mere racist but the russophob is a nazi. The very definition of nazi is someone who doesn't like Russians.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Vovka on December 16, 2015, 02:58:06 pm
The Turk hater is a mere racist but the russophob is a nazi. The very definition of nazi is someone who doesn't like Russians.
I have to inform your sponsor that you spend too much time on the forum in the spam section during working hours
sure I'll get a free hat or t-shirt  :P
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: the real god emperor on December 16, 2015, 03:36:50 pm
Russia gib gas pls
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Angantyr on December 16, 2015, 05:00:36 pm
How do you convince Americans to get involved in a world war?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Falka on December 16, 2015, 05:04:22 pm
There are so many Syrian  immigrants to the United Kingdom, the place hardly feels like Poland any more.


Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
Because we couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Gryph_Hawkshade on December 16, 2015, 07:22:06 pm
Parallel Lines have so much in common, too bad they will never meet.

My wife accused me of being immature, I told her to get out of my pillow fort.

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make, then they call me ugly and poor.

How many germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb, one, they are very effecient but not very funny.

Whoever stole my microsoft office, you're gonna pay, you have my word...

What green, fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree would probably kill you... A pool table.

Apparently someone in london gets stabbed every 52 seconds... poor bastard.

I went to a really emotional wedding the other day, even the cake was in tiers.

I have a genetic disposition to diarrhia, it runs it my jeans.

Someone stole my mood ring... im not sure how I feel about it yet.

I tried to catch fog yesterday, I mist.

Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors, because if it had four doors it'd be a Sedan.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Kafein on December 16, 2015, 08:36:45 pm
I have to be honest I feel good with myself about my activity in this thread.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: pogosan on December 16, 2015, 08:55:11 pm
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Angantyr on December 16, 2015, 09:42:02 pm
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a kitkat Chunky?"

The lady behind the till gets him a kitkat Chunky and brings it back to him.

"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal kitkat, you fat bitch."
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: gallonigher on December 16, 2015, 10:18:40 pm
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?


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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: the real god emperor on December 16, 2015, 10:56:57 pm
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a kitkat Chunky?"

The lady behind the till gets him a kitkat Chunky and brings it back to him.

"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal kitkat, you fat bitch."

wish i could upvote twice

"I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world."

Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world."

Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Tristan_of_Erzoth on December 17, 2015, 01:24:34 am
Fathers day, the most confusing day in the ghetto!


Why weren't there any blacks in the flinstones? They were still monkeys!


What did God say when he made the first blackman? "Damn I burnt one!"


A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”


Whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boy scouts come back from their camps!

School is like a boner: Long and hard unless you're Asian.

How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do an essay

Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Sir_Hans on December 17, 2015, 02:58:43 am
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Asheram on December 17, 2015, 03:04:59 am
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Paul on December 17, 2015, 04:31:25 pm
I have to inform your sponsor that you spend too much time on the forum in the spam section during working hours
sure I'll get a free hat or t-shirt  :P

You write this as if you were actually doing your job. Oh well, you probably are. Enjoy your 50 cent.
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: darmaster on December 17, 2015, 04:31:41 pm
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: mcdeath on December 17, 2015, 07:01:25 pm
What's the difference between iron and steel?
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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Utrakil on December 18, 2015, 07:09:01 pm
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Clockworkkiller on December 18, 2015, 07:12:16 pm
KEBAB WALKS INTO SERBIA

GETS REMOVED

HAHAHA, VERY FUNNY, DA?
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Angantyr on December 18, 2015, 07:44:19 pm
How does an American change a light bulb?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: the real god emperor on December 18, 2015, 08:02:16 pm
What did the black man said when judge said "Order in the Court!"

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Asheram on December 19, 2015, 01:38:51 am
So, there's a man crawling through the desert...

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: gallonigher on December 19, 2015, 02:08:58 am
So, there's a man crawling through the desert...

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visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 24, 2015, 04:18:22 pm
What do you call a muslim husband?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 24, 2015, 04:18:56 pm
where can you pick up syrian girls?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 24, 2015, 04:20:15 pm
How do you pick up a Jewish girl?

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and how do you get her number?
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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 24, 2015, 04:21:26 pm
What's black at the top and white at the bottom?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 24, 2015, 04:24:53 pm
A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 24, 2015, 04:25:43 pm
What do black people and bikes have in common?

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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 24, 2015, 04:29:16 pm
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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 24, 2015, 04:29:57 pm
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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...
Post by: Panos_ on December 24, 2015, 04:31:08 pm
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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...(mean jokes)
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on December 25, 2015, 05:26:43 am
It is the 1800s, and the great empires have sent explorers to the darkest heart of Africa. One party of explorers is made up of a Frenchman, and Englishman, and an American. While hiking in the jungle, they are caught in a pit trap by wily and scheming pygmy headhunters. The tiny black in spanishes bring the three explorers back to their village. The tribal chief comes before them, and speaks.

"You have trespassed on our ancestral lands. We will flay you alive, and turn your skin into leather for our canoes! It is our custom to allow you one last dignity: you may choose a weapon and end your own life. If you do not, we will torture you for weeks and watch you beg for the sweet release of death!"

The Frenchman asks for a knife. He holds it to his throat and says "Vive la Nation! Vive la Roi!" before slashing his neck open. The headhunters drag the body away and begin peeling off his skin.

The Englishman asks for a pistol. He holds it to his head and says "Long live the queen!" before blowing his brains out. The headhunters drag the body away and begin peeling off his skin.

The American asks for a fork. He begins stabbing himself all over his body and yells "Good luck with the canoe, friends!"
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...(mean jokes)
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on December 25, 2015, 05:33:49 am
A blind man is hitchhiking, and a kind driver lets him get in for a ride. They make small talk, and head down the road. After a while the drivers yells "oh shit!" and the blind man hears

*thump* *thump*

"What was that?" asks the blind man. The driver says "Hit a raccoon. He was a big one."

They drive along for a few more hours and the driver says "oh fuck!"

*thump* *thump*

"Another raccoon?" asks the blindman. "Naw, it was a stray dog!" says the driver. "Dang thing was half starved to death."

They drive along some more, and then the blind man hears

*thump* *thump* *thump* *thump*

"What was it that time? Caught you off guard, eh?" Asks the blind man. "Fuck no," says the driver. "Saw a friend crossing the road. Had to back up since I saw him getting up in my rear view mirror!"
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...(mean jokes)
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on December 25, 2015, 05:40:22 am
Three New Yorkers get on a plane at JFK Airport, and the flight begins to leave the city. There is heavy cloud cover, and it is difficult to see the ground from their windows. One of them says "We're flying over Manhattan." The other two ask "How can you tell?" The first guy smugly says "I think I can see the sI love youcraper where I work. My executive suite is on one of the top floors."

The second passenger disagrees. "We're flying over Staten Island. I think I can see the Statue of Liberty."

The third passenger throws his hands up. "Naw, ya both wrong. We over the Bronx." He crosses his arms and smiles. "Well, how can you tell?" ask the other two passengers. "Cuz my wallet and my phone been stole!"
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...(mean jokes)
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on December 25, 2015, 05:53:00 am
Two dirty old Jewish men are standing outside the deli, chatting. The discussion turns to prostitutes and whorehouses. The first Jew says "I've been to a brothel that can't be beat! You go in, ask for this girl named Freida. Tell her you want "the special." She put scoops of ice cream, chocolate syrup, chopped nuts, whipped cream and cherry on my dick and ate the whole thing! It felt amazing!" The second Jew is interested, and gets directions to the brothel. They head home.

The next week, the first Jew is standing outside the deli. The second jew walks up to him, looking really angry. "What's wrong?" he asks. "I went and saw Freida." the second Jew says. "...and?" The second Jew scowls and says "I went into her room, lie down, and she puts a bagel on my dick. Starts smearing cream cheese on there. Tops it off with smoked salmon and some fresh dill..." The first Jew is confused. "What's the matter? Wasn't it great?" The second Jew yells "No! It looked so good that I couldn't help it, I ate it myself!"
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...(mean jokes)
Post by: Asheram on December 28, 2015, 04:39:02 am
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Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...(mean jokes)
Post by: Nickleback on May 10, 2016, 10:24:20 am
god damn why did u ban clockwork
Title: Re: An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser...(mean jokes)
Post by: Gurgumul on June 04, 2016, 12:44:52 am
This is the new French flag:
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Because the white in France is replaced by black.