Off Topic => General Off Topic => Topic started by: Clockworkkiller on March 12, 2015, 02:38:06 pm
Title: Stomach flu
Post by: Clockworkkiller on March 12, 2015, 02:38:06 pm
I never knew liquid shit and vomit can come in a wide arrange of colors!
The vomiting is particularly painful, and the shits never stop flowing from the butt...
Hope this only lasts a day because dear lord have mercy on my soul
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Panos_ on March 12, 2015, 02:39:23 pm
The real deal comes when you think you need to fart, but you end up shitting your self.
Been there, done that. :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Molly on March 12, 2015, 02:42:32 pm
i dont even
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on March 12, 2015, 03:38:38 pm
I just got a 5 day "vacation" thanks to the nasty little thing that's going around. I lost several pounds. If i can just keep getting sick I'll be cut and ripped like a model in no time!
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Hirlok on March 12, 2015, 03:46:20 pm
I just got a 5 day "vacation" thanks to the nasty little thing that's going around. I lost several pounds. If i can just keep getting sick I'll be cut and ripped like a model in no time!
You might want to add a few handstand pushups while vomiting to achieve that result... ;-)
Get well you poor bastards!
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: LordBerenger on March 12, 2015, 04:09:55 pm
Try having mega version when you need to shit and puke at the same time.
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Leshma on March 12, 2015, 07:08:17 pm
Dunno how it is in the rest of the world, but I have't seen worse flu season in a decade. We went though bird and swine flu scares but it was mostly false alarm. This season however, record number of (mostly younger) people have died from complications throughout the country. I usually feel ill for couple of days before I bounce back but this thing has completely immobilized me for full 5 days and I was feeling the symptoms for two weeks. Nasty stuff.
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Armpit_Sweat on March 12, 2015, 08:44:37 pm
The vomiting is particularly painful, and the shits never stop flowing from the butt...
What's wrong with you man?.. A short time ago you were about to die from an expired can-food, and now this!
You probably have to stop buying food from wherever you are getting it from... Do you have any sort of state-controlled certificates for food-related businesses in USA? We have a "smiley-ordning" in Denmark, and everyone who sells food is forced to have it hanging - this way you can avoid places that have problems with hygiene and such.
Or, someone might be trying to poison you! Think about it
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Ikarus on March 13, 2015, 12:16:43 am
Try having mega version when you need to shit and puke at the same time.
aaand it reminds me of this story again
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Clockworkkiller on March 13, 2015, 02:36:36 am
The vomiting has stopped, thankfully. But the shits are still coming, albeit fewer in amount and size.
The headache and fever has lessened too, I can now think straight My legs are weak(due to sitting on toilet or lying in bed since 5am) makes it hard to walk, ima try to be a bit more active tomorrow.
The big thing currently is my loss of appetite, I can't each much more than jell-o Ima try to force some crackers down. I've been drink plenty of water and Gatorade, trying to fight dehydration. Ima be out of action tomorrow, but Saturday should be fine.
On the bright side, I got two packages coming tomorrow, filled with goodies.
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: lombardsoup on March 13, 2015, 03:01:43 am
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Daunt_Flockula on March 16, 2015, 01:41:53 am
Get well, you poor bastard. I can deal with any stomachache but persistent liquid-grade diarrhea makes you want to just die instead of seeing yourself trash about in agony.
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Leshma on March 16, 2015, 01:49:25 am
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persistent liquid-grade diarrhea makes you want to just die
lolno
It isn't pleasant thing to experience but it is far from being the worst. Far worse is the complete opposite thing, when you can't have a dump for weeks. That will make you contemplate suicide.
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Daunt_Flockula on March 16, 2015, 01:52:07 am
Strangely enough, I never had to experience constipation. But I had several brutal diarrhea attacks, which were totally life ruining.
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Algarn on March 16, 2015, 10:34:47 am
Why do we always find this kind of threads on melee gaming forums ?
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Daunt_Flockula on March 16, 2015, 12:36:37 pm
No idea. But we obviously need a subforum dedicated entirely to shit. The crpg community deserves it :lol:
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Torben on March 16, 2015, 01:09:10 pm
https://youtu.be/VhqbSf_fb1g
just sayin
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Casimir on March 18, 2015, 05:14:06 pm
It helps against virtually all diseases, the ones that hit the stomach in particular.
What do you mean by cleaning up your diet in practice? What would a simplified, clean diet look like, and as opposed to what?
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Angantyr on March 21, 2015, 04:39:44 pm
OP has made at least two topics on diarrhea plus two on some kind of stomach disease. Also energy drink is mentioned a lot of times. Dispensing with those would be a good start, I guess.
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Leshma on March 21, 2015, 06:03:31 pm
Sodas certainly have an effect on your stool and can cause diarrhea.
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Siiem on March 21, 2015, 06:46:45 pm
You guys are high, I'm on a diet of beer, meat and whiskey. I never get sick.
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: Teeth on March 22, 2015, 12:14:28 am
OP has made at least two topics on diarrhea plus two on some kind of stomach disease. Also energy drink is mentioned a lot of times. Dispensing with those would be a good start, I guess.
What's wrong with energy drinks?
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on March 23, 2015, 05:40:47 pm
A lot of them have artificial sweeteners instead of / in addition to sugar. Most of those will make you shit rivers if you take too much over a short period. See also Reveiws on Amazon for 5 lbs of sugar-free gummy bears: (http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears/dp/B008JELLCA)
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Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!
First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.
BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.
Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.
But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.
AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.
I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.Read more ›
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The place: BMO Harris Bradley Center The event: Bucks VS Spurs The snack: Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears made by Haribo
I recently took my 4 year old son to his first NBA game. He was very excited to go to the game, and I was excited because we had fantastic seats. Row C center court to be exact. I've never sat that close before. I've never had to go DOWN stairs to get to my seats. 24 stairs to get to my seats to be exact.
His favorite candy is Skittles. Mine are anything gummy. I snuck in a bag of skittles for my son, and grabbed a handful of gummy bears for myself, to be later known as Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears, that I received for Christmas in bulk from my parents, and put them in a zip lock bag.
After the excitement of the 1st quarter has ended I take my son out to get him a bottled water and myself a beer. We return to our seats to enjoy our candy and drinks.
..............fast forward until 1 minute before half time...........
I have begun to sweat a sweat that is only meant for a man on mile 19 of a marathon. I have kicked out my legs out so straight that I am violently pushing the gentleman wearing a suit seat in front of me forward. He is not happy, I do not care. My hands are on the side of my seat not unlike that of a gymnast on a pommel horse, lifting me off my chair. My son is oblivious to what is happening next to him, after all, there is a mascot running around somewhere and he is eating candy.
I realize that at some point in the very near to immediate future I am going to have to allow this lava from Satan to forcefully expel itself from my innards. I also realize that I have to walk up 24 stairs just to get to level ground in hopes to make it to the bathroom.Read more ›
that's just the first page of reveiws. they never end
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See all 879 customer reviews
Title: Re: Stomach flu
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on March 23, 2015, 05:44:47 pm
If you are more of a visual learner, perhaps this will aid you more: