Stomach flu

[Clockworkkiller]

I never knew liquid shit and vomit can come in a wide arrange of colors!

The vomiting is particularly painful, and the shits never stop flowing from the butt...

Hope this only lasts a day because dear lord have mercy on my soul

[Panos_]

The real deal comes when you think you need to fart, but you end up shitting your self.

Been there, done that. 

[Molly]

i dont even

[WITCHCRAFT]

I just got a 5 day "vacation" thanks to the nasty little thing that's going around. I lost several pounds. If i can just keep getting sick I'll be cut and ripped like a model in no time!

[Hirlok]

I just got a 5 day "vacation" thanks to the nasty little thing that's going around. I lost several pounds. If i can just keep getting sick I'll be cut and ripped like a model in no time!

You might want to add a few handstand pushups while vomiting to achieve that result... ;-)

Get well you poor bastards!

[LordBerenger]

Try having mega version when you need to shit and puke at the same time.

[Leshma]

Dunno how it is in the rest of the world, but I have't seen worse flu season in a decade. We went though bird and swine flu scares but it was mostly false alarm. This season however, record number of (mostly younger) people have died from complications throughout the country. I usually feel ill for couple of days before I bounce back but this thing has completely immobilized me for full 5 days and I was feeling the symptoms for two weeks. Nasty stuff.

[Armpit_Sweat]

The vomiting is particularly painful, and the shits never stop flowing from the butt...

What's wrong with you man?.. A short time ago you were about to die from an expired can-food, and now this!
 
You probably have to stop buying food from wherever you are getting it from... Do you have any sort of state-controlled certificates for food-related businesses in USA? We have a "smiley-ordning" in Denmark, and everyone who sells food is forced to have it hanging - this way you can avoid places that have problems with hygiene and such.
 
Or, someone might be trying to poison you! Think about it

[Ikarus]

Try having mega version when you need to shit and puke at the same time.

aaand it reminds me of this story again

[Clockworkkiller]

The vomiting has stopped, thankfully. But the shits are still coming, albeit fewer in amount and size.

The headache and fever has lessened too, I can now think straight
My legs are weak(due to sitting on toilet or lying in bed since 5am) makes it hard to walk, ima try to be a bit more active tomorrow.

The big thing currently is my loss of appetite, I can't each much more than jell-o
Ima try to force some crackers down. I've been drink plenty of water and Gatorade, trying to fight dehydration.
Ima be out of action tomorrow, but Saturday should be fine.

On the bright side, I got two packages coming tomorrow, filled with goodies.

[lombardsoup]

jell-o
Gatorade

Assuming this is another run of the mill reference filled thread.  In the extremely unlikely event you're serious:

What the fuck are you doing eating and drinking that shit?  Put down the sugar and don't eat an American diet, you'll live longer.

[WITCHCRAFT]

Assuming this is another run of the mill reference filled thread.  In the extremely unlikely event you're serious:

What the fuck are you doing eating and drinking that shit?  Put down the sugar and don't eat an American diet, you'll live longer.

electrolytes are POISON

lombardsoup discovers one weird trick of a stomach flu

doctors HATE him

[lombardsoup]

electrolytes are POISON

lombardsoup discovers one weird trick of a stomach flu

doctors HATE him

MMMMMMMMMMMM more sugar more salt

Doctors will love getting paid to perform liposuction and diabetes treatments

[lombardsoup]

GAME still isn't finished!

Lombard is FURIOUS!  Learn this weird old tip to increase productivity and stifle laziness, HURRY before it gets taken down!

[DaveUKR]

The real deal comes when you think you need to fart, but you end up shitting your self.

Been there, done that. 

You sound like you're proud of that