Off Topic => General Off Topic => Topic started by: Jeade on September 09, 2014, 10:37:10 pm
Title: Penis Homes
Post by: Jeade on September 09, 2014, 10:37:10 pm
Quote from: Pastor Driscoll
The first thing to know about your penis is, that despite the way it may seem, it is not your penis. Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply borrowing it for a while.
While His penis is on loan you must admit that it is sort of just hanging out there very lonely as if it needed a home, sort of like a man wondering the streets looking for a house to live in. Knowing that His penis would need a home, God created a woman to be your wife and when you marry her and look down you will notice that your wife is shaped differently than you and makes a very nice home. (http://www.salon.com/2014/09/08/evangelical_megachurch_begins_closing_branches_after_pastor_calls_women_penis_homes/)
This is real.
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: Xant on September 09, 2014, 11:21:02 pm
Why wouldn't it be real? What's wrong with what he says?
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: [ptx] on September 09, 2014, 11:21:48 pm
Don't answer.
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: Christo on September 09, 2014, 11:27:53 pm
wat
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: Armpit_Sweat on September 10, 2014, 12:49:49 am
Good stuff:
Quote
Therefore, if you are single you must remember that your penis is homeless and needs a home. But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not. And, though women other than your wife may look like a home, to rest there would be breaking into another man’s home. And, if you look at a man it is quite obvious that what a homeless man does not need is another man without a home.
I am willing to bet a large amount of money that, if everyone would have been like "Oh god, how horrible, people invading other people's privacy", xant would have accused you all of e-knighting and that they had it coming for being stuck up rich bitches in the first place.
Where's my money
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: darmaster on September 10, 2014, 01:09:16 am
Isn't an intestine shaped more like a home to a penis? I mean vag gets wider and has two corridors unreachable to the penis while the intestine just goes on for like feets and perfectly fits and warms your fallus, isn't it?
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: CaptBob on September 10, 2014, 02:30:30 am
What about the shape I make with my hand
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: Butan on September 10, 2014, 02:37:18 am
That is some unholy dark age level preaching.
Funniest is that it is criticized for sexism instead of mere stupidity.
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: Leshma on September 10, 2014, 02:38:55 am
Fuck this stupid rant, Armpit opened my eyes. This fake priest is a pure genius and masterwork troll :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: lombardsoup on September 10, 2014, 02:42:16 am
And with this the pews will stay empty.
But seriously: can I foreclose on my penis home? She's a male hating feminist.
edit: the shit from this guy one ups the Westboro trolls a thousandfold, well done
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: Leshma on September 10, 2014, 02:48:05 am
Isn't an intestine shaped more like a home to a penis? I mean vag gets wider and has two corridors unreachable to the penis while the intestine just goes on for like feets and perfectly fits and warms your fallus, isn't it?
Home without children is no home. It is just an ordinary building. Proper home brings children and therefore home spreads and other people get home for themselves. Of course, you could steal children from another home, but that makes you an evil person. Same goes for a person who leaves his home and children, forcing them to live inside the building without penis (therefore not home).
Title: Re: Penis Homes
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on September 10, 2014, 05:44:40 am
I was expecting like, I dunno... A website where you could by a miniature sweater or scarf for your little man.