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Off Topic => General Off Topic => Topic started by: Armpit_Sweat on March 07, 2013, 02:48:45 pm

Title: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Armpit_Sweat on March 07, 2013, 02:48:45 pm
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A realistic scenario in case of a Dragon invasion in your country:
 
A single Skyrim-type dragon appears in the center of your city. Some limited property damage, multiple injuries and few deaths have been reported. Live news streams all over the internet, TV and radio. Dragon appears to be chaotically hostile - think a predator-in-a-trap behavior patterns. 

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What will happen in the next 24 hours?
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Here is my bet for Copenhagen, Denmark:
 
Multiple police, ambulance and fire trucks arrive to the scene within the first half an hour. Extreme panic among the general population in 1 km radius. Police does not engage the dragon, only secure the safe evacuation of the civilians. National alarm system is activated. Live tv broadcasts on every channel within the first hour, encouraging people to flee from certain areas and stay at home.
Home-guard arrives within the 1-2 hours to support the police efforts. Still no shots have been fired. Attempts to pacify the Dragon using sedative darts fail, due to thickness of dragon scales. Dragon attacks police helicopters. Level of panic increases, though only in the limited area around the epicenter.
Government allows the use of deadly force. A small number of military trucks engage the Dragon using heavy MGs. Trucks go up in flames. Police, Home-guard and most military personal are evacuated from the area. Finally, 4-6 hours since the first contact, jet planes and military helicopters lure the Dragon out to the sea, and terminate it using air-to-air missiles.
Emergency traffic is restored within 8 hours, most of the debris is removed within 16 hours and property restoration work is initiated. Panic is completely neutralized short after the Dragon termination is confirmed. Everyone acts like nothing happened within 48 hours. Total number of human casualties are under 10 dead, and 100 injured. An insane financial damage to the property. Taxes are raised to cover the restoration expenses - Danes blame immigrants for failing economy. Everyone votes for national-socialists during the next election.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Casimir on March 07, 2013, 02:58:48 pm
If a dragon attacked and burnt down half of south wales, no-one would notice. It's already a desolate wasteland of ruined industry and towns.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: the real god emperor on March 07, 2013, 03:02:53 pm
İstanbul, Turkey 12 hours later:

They will start making a mega dragon-kebab.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Armpit_Sweat on March 07, 2013, 03:07:33 pm
Quote from: Kratos on March 07, 2013, 03:02:53 pm
İstanbul, Turkey 12 hours later:

They will start making a mega dragon-kebab.

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Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: enigmatic_stranger on March 07, 2013, 03:10:24 pm
Russia:

After an hour entire internet flooded with dash cam videos of awesome dragon destroying everything. People don't give a shit. Government nukes dragon. The end.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Zlisch_The_Butcher on March 07, 2013, 03:16:01 pm
Quote from: Armpit_Sweat on March 07, 2013, 02:48:45 pm
Taxes are raised to cover the restoration expenses - Danes blame immigrants for failing economy. Everyone votes for national-socialists during the next election.
From what I've seen in Denmark this sounds like a realistic scenario.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Prpavi on March 07, 2013, 03:31:39 pm
Croatia:

as the dragon pillages so do the people, not a single store is left untouched, corrupt goverment makes a deal with the dragon not to touch them, people volunteer spill blood and kill the dragon, 10 years later nobody cares about the veterans and their PTSD so they start taking their own lives, politicians richer than ever and safe.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Molly on March 07, 2013, 03:47:09 pm
In Germany, Scientists would start to develop some medication immediately. Something like an injection to avoid getting bird flue from the dragon. The government would instantly order millions of injections for the population from the pharma industry.
While those orders are fulfilled, the USA leading the NATO would have shot down the dragon, all injections bought for billions of € are useless now and the taxpayer has to watch while the injections getting destroyed cuz of being useless and close to date of expiry...

(This actually really happened - beside the dragon)
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Latrinenkobold on March 07, 2013, 03:47:36 pm
If a dragon would attack Germany i would just call this guy...

http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/11/17/parents-name-child-dovahkiin-earn-a-lifetimes-worth-of-bethesda-games/ (http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/11/17/parents-name-child-dovahkiin-earn-a-lifetimes-worth-of-bethesda-games/)
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Vibe on March 07, 2013, 03:55:12 pm
Slovenia would unleash their glorious airforce upon the dragon.

This is our airforce:

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Christo on March 07, 2013, 03:58:38 pm
Currently not governing Socialist party would blame the governing party for bad policies regarding national defense.

Currently governing political party would blame the socialists for not preparing for dragon attacks when they governed and stealing the money for preventing dragon attacks, to bolster their propaganda.

(really, this is what our so called leaders are doing up here all day. There's no progress.)

But they all won't do a thing, many civilians die.

Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Overdriven on March 07, 2013, 03:59:19 pm
UK: Dragon attacks London. UK waits to see what the US will do.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: IR_Kuoin on March 07, 2013, 04:03:51 pm
Dragon comes to Norway, real Dragonborn appears.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Torben on March 07, 2013, 04:31:18 pm
we might clone it and finally invade England with dragon mounted storm troopers.

or lend it to greece,  dunno.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Dezilagel on March 07, 2013, 06:49:19 pm
Sweden:

DIY Dragon Defense Kits. That is all.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Kafein on March 08, 2013, 01:55:49 am
Belgium :

Dragon cannot find any unbuilt area to land and wanders somewhere else, very confused.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Andy on March 08, 2013, 04:34:42 am
Even though I don't live in russia, I just can't help it.

1) Initial contact. Dragon appears and begins destroying houses, stores, ect. Civilians attempt to play the hero and take out the dragon themselves. Their attempts however are useless, even those two badass guys who came charging in on bear-back.
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(They were cool)
2) Militery arrives and contains the dragon with heavy duty netting and cables. Scientists take DNA samples, and afterwards the dragon is killed.
3) In our labs, we clone dragons and raise them as our own.
4) Finally take over world with our heat-seaking, missile-launching, dragon army!
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Nehvar on March 08, 2013, 06:39:11 am
[US] Our leaders, in an effort to force themselves to resolve the dragon issue, will put into place a set of country-sabotaging measures.  These measures would bet set to automatically activate should the leaders fail to meet their self-imposed deadline.  They will, of course, utterly and completely fail to do anything whatsoever before the deadline is up.  Somehow they still keep their jobs.

In an act of outrage the masses will then feed our useless leaders to the dragon.  The dragon, having gorged itself on the gamy, high-cholesterol flesh of fat, corrupt politicians, will die as a result of a massive coronary event.  It will be remembered as a hero and its image will replace the Bald Eagle on all American iconography.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: enigmatic_stranger on March 08, 2013, 07:38:16 am
Quote from: Casimir on March 07, 2013, 02:58:48 pm
If a dragon attacked and burnt down half of south wales, no-one would notice. It's already a desolate wasteland of ruined industry and towns.
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Torben on March 08, 2013, 09:01:12 am
Quote from: enigmatic_stranger on March 08, 2013, 07:38:16 am
(click to show/hide)

aHAHAHAHAA


and andy.  you got russia all wrong.

dragon would breath fire on first dude he encounters.  dude explodes because his blood is actually vodka.  dragon dies because vodka flames are op.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: donib on March 08, 2013, 09:23:23 am
In Holland:
The parliament would raise questions and would probably disband the current government. 
The right wing would blame the muslims and the supporters would rally and shout that the dragons go back to their own country.
Some parties would discuss dragon rights.


Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Arathian on March 08, 2013, 09:54:44 am
In Greece we already have dragons

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Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: [ptx] on March 08, 2013, 10:02:11 am
In Latvia, a dragon would stumble in the center of Riga and take a piss on the Monument of Freedom, after which it would be quickly apprehended by the honor guard stationed next to it.

Afterwards it would be revealed that the dragon was actually fake and part of a marketing campaign by one of the mobile networks.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Lennu on March 08, 2013, 10:31:52 am
Quote from: Kafein on March 08, 2013, 01:55:49 am
Belgium :

Dragon cannot find any unbuilt area to land and wanders somewhere else, very confused.

Dragon wanders to Finland. It cannot find any infrastructure whatsoever, but only endless amounts of forests, rivers and lakes. Dragon gets confused and wanders somewhere else.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Smoothrich on March 08, 2013, 10:43:59 am
In NYC our senate would grant the illegal dragon citizenship so he could fulfill his american dream.  Now that he is an American citizen, Obama would authorize a drone strike to take him out.  Then I will have to deal with dirtbag schizos outside the subways for the next 5 years telling me how the dragon was an inside job by the government and tell me the truth is on youtube.  Eventually we will invade a new middle eastern or north african nation to stop the dragon training programs there.  The dragon's distant reliative will eventually get a job on fox news as a pundit talking about how Liebrals are ruining the country and wishing for the good ol' days like when his first relative lived the american dream.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Berserkadin on March 10, 2013, 09:27:40 am
Or the dragon just comes flying in, suicide crashing into the 9/11 memorial. Then USA will declare war on all dragons and invade their country of Iran.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Son Of Odin on March 10, 2013, 10:17:31 am
Quote from: Lennu on March 08, 2013, 10:31:52 am
Dragon wanders to Finland. It cannot find any infrastructure whatsoever, but only endless amounts of forests, rivers and lakes. Dragon gets confused and wanders somewhere else.
Good but this is what really would happen.

Dragon wanders to Finland and instantly gets to a fight with Finnish lake troll Mustakrakish.

After couple hours Dragon is ded. Mustakrakish rules the country. Everyone is happy.
The end.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Germanicus on March 11, 2013, 02:00:38 am
In germany they would try to talk with the dragon but because this wont work they blame the german people for not having enough understanding of foreign races , invite more guest workers from the east and well now its turI love you problem germany doesnt exist anymore
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: isatis on March 11, 2013, 02:18:26 am
In Canada : Dragon will first try to find people... after about one or two years, he will find population and he will try to burn them. Canadian won't even feel the flame because they are frozen. Dragon will become depressive, our gouvernement will apologize to the dragon and he will be send in a psychologist institute to restore his mood.

Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Laufknoten on March 11, 2013, 02:59:05 am
Germany:
The dragon will instantly begin killing hundreds of people because no one has a weapon and the police consists only of old wimps and blonde chicks who can barely hold a gun. After he killed another thousand or so people the government will eventually realize that the dragon is a threat (while leftist f*cks and libmy old friends will still blame the people "because they are racist dickbags and they don't understand the dragons culture blabla") and sends the army after him. Then they realize they sold all their Panzers and weapons to israel and other countries.
While they're discussing what to do next the dragon is fed up with eating germans because they taste like shit and kebab. He then wanders of to other countries to see what they taste like and eventually gets to China. The chinese somehow speak his language and manage to persuade him to be their ally.
Together with the dragon they conquer the whole world and everyone is happy. 
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Latvian on March 11, 2013, 03:04:25 am
In Latvia dragon will be confused and start helping people instead of killing them. Maybe grow some potato, potato good.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: no_rules_just_play on March 11, 2013, 03:40:35 am
belgium:
do we actually have a government?
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Joseph Porta on March 11, 2013, 09:29:11 am
We would flood the main land before realising it can fly  8-)
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Grumpy_Nic on March 12, 2013, 01:58:39 pm
Austria:
People would start complaining about the dragon and the heat of the dragons flames. Politicians would pretend to discuss about it.
The dragon would probably try to eat some austrians but spit them out again because they taste somewhat sour and fly to germany.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Casimir on March 12, 2013, 02:16:11 pm
Everyone knows dragons hate SOURkraut.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: BlindGuy on March 12, 2013, 02:29:29 pm
UK (where I live atm): Dragon attacks. Dragon finds Underground network and makes a nest in London, being easily provided by food from southern fairy Londoners taking the tube train to work, refusing to admit that the dragon is a danger and expressing disbelief in the actual existence of the dragon. London becomes complete no go zone due to endless traffic jams caused by all the southerners flocking to the 2 marches, the first protesting lack of government action against dragons, the second protesting the suggested cull on dragons. A third group arrives, protesting for the banning of Dragon Hunting.

The police finally locate the dragon, track it into the Underground, and shoot and kill a Brazilian electrician and 2 black kids.

Wales writes to England and offers support, since they have been dealing with dragons for thousands of years. Government finds solution by consensus: Remove catalytic converters from cars and remove filters from factory chimneys, massively increasing pollution: Air is now so thick with particles it is ruled unsafe for air travel, dragon is not allowed to fly, problem solved.

Northern England and Scotland barely take any notice: anything bad that happens to London is more than deserved and also they are safe in the knowledge that if the dragon started shit North of the Watford Gap, locals would come forward and beat the living shit out of it with the first thing that comes to hand.


In Spain (where Im from): Government would complain it is hampered in its ability to deal with dragon related crisis because of nonpayment of taxes by the workforce: workforce then goes on massive national strike to protest the proposed dragon tax. Entire army is overseas, on peacekeeping duty with the UN. National hysteria rises as dragon burns the north, moves south and destroys the central plain, decimating population of Madrid and cutting off the government from outside communication. Everyone comments how dragons never were dangerous when Franco was in power. Eventually dragon moves south into Andalusia: first old Andalusian peasant's wife it encounters hit it with her stick so hard it FUCKING DROPS DEAD, while she yells "Chaaaaaape, Bicho!", she then lifts it on her own, calls the goats in, butchers the dragon and makes sausages.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Zox_Fury on March 14, 2013, 06:17:14 pm
If a Dragon attack France.... wow

After only a shadow of a wing seen on our ground we shoud use our "alert ladder":
(click to show/hide)

After a huge council , decision is taken to armed our glorious army with awesome weapons :
(click to show/hide)
(click to show/hide)

The war promise to be hard and after few seconds the terrible report fall: Millions of pants soaked and  one toe broken .

Time for the president to raise ladder at the top :
(click to show/hide)

Time for us to collude and to know what every country think to us
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Panos on March 14, 2013, 06:37:44 pm
If a dragon attacks Greece there are three possible scenarios :

A) Greek government asks from the dragon to pitch in some euros to the debt.

B) The dragon destroys the city, because everyone was to lazy to give a fuck.

C) The dragon comes to Greece and retires at young age.

Beat that fuckers  :lol:
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Osiris on March 14, 2013, 06:51:29 pm
If dragon attacks London see guys answer!

If dragon attacks wales it will see the desolation and think some dragon has been here before! Then it will fly to Ireland and burn all the potatoes until it is destroyed by a wild leprechaun spell.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Tibe on March 14, 2013, 07:44:39 pm
Well Estonia:
Our primeminister would go with his usual words:"Everything is fine, get back to work".
Other ministers:"There is no dragonthreat", while half the coutry is burning.
Or if thats not enough to please us peasants, the primeminister would say:"Its lots worse somewhere else"(usually that place is Latvia muahahaha :mrgreen:)

Yea, thanks mister primeminister, the fact that someone has it worse helps me survive slightly longer.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Uther Pendragon on March 14, 2013, 08:11:18 pm
Poland
He first gets lost in Russia because americans told him that Poland is a province in Siberia, then when he finally reaches Poland his first thought is: "wait, weren't I here already?" and then he would get a ticket from our cops for flying too fast, some people would find papers about his parents being communist agents and his reputation would be destroyed. Then he would become an alcoholic and a scourge of the society.

And a politician, like every potato in this country
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Hunter_the_Honourable on March 14, 2013, 08:41:16 pm
London: Dragon burns hospitals and unleashes super bugs, dragon catches super bugs and gets ill animal right activists protest and demand we don't kill the dragon and that because his foreign he is allowed benefits and housing.  During this time London citizens have started to riot police try and arrest as many rioters as possible. Riots calm down after about a week the rioters then proceed to sue police for "assault" and mistreatment during the riots. Dragon gets put into the NHS however dies a few days later due to the fact doctors "failed to see" that he suffered from a heart condition. Once the dragon died and the riots died down everyone is mad that tax payers money is being given to India and third world countries when our own economy is poor. Once everything is over Mercia send in troops to "help" kill the dragon and proceed to kill everyone's pet bearded dragons.

The end.





Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Germanicus on March 15, 2013, 05:37:09 pm
Quote from: Zox_Fury on March 14, 2013, 06:17:14 pm
If a Dragon attack France....

then you would see a lot of white flags waving
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Sniger on March 16, 2013, 04:48:32 pm
dw, if dragonz hit Scandinavia, I will summon

(click to show/hide)

 :lol:

Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Sniger on March 16, 2013, 04:54:23 pm
Quote from: Andy on March 08, 2013, 04:34:42 am
...badass guys who came charging in on bear-back.
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(They were cool)

lol, that is two hardcore chaps indeed
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Havoco on March 16, 2013, 05:16:58 pm
If the dragon attacked the US, it would be caught on video immediately. The video would become an instant hit on YouTube and the dragon would be offered a job in the next hobbit movie. The dragon gets more fame and becomes an A list celebrity. He then is elected as the governor of California. Through a series of bribes and threats, the dragon is able to run for president, even though he isn't a citizen. All the liberals and minorities vote for him just because we never had a dragon as a president. We would then be taken over by China because the dragon was born there.

The end

Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: Leesin on March 16, 2013, 06:42:55 pm
England - Police attempt to subdue Dragon with pepper spray and batons, it fails. Government offers the Dragon a home to live in and a ton of benefits, it accepts and lives off of the taxpayers money, enjoying cigarettes and cheap cider whilst its 5 kids roam the streets all hours of the night.
Title: Re: How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
Post by: BlindGuy on March 17, 2013, 06:50:08 pm
Quote from: Leesin on March 16, 2013, 06:42:55 pm
England - Police attempt to subdue Dragon with pepper spray and batons, it fails. Government offers the Dragon a home to live in and a ton of benefits, it accepts and lives off of the taxpayers money, enjoying cigarettes and cheap cider whilst its 5 kids roam the streets all hours of the night.

Ultimatly England wins vs the dragon, cause it dies young of multiple sclerosis complicated by a massively imflamed liver and kidneys, and a host of pnemonia like symptons caught from smoking too many ciggies.

Unfortunatly its young have no means of support and the cicle of goverment support for unenployed dragons continues. The one upside is the british military gets a big firepower (see what I did there?) boost when multiple members of the dragon family join the armed forces because they have no hope in any other area.