Welp, you made me log in...
SO much improvement! The over-annunciation in that verse, you can hear it, we all can, so that's something to look at. The best thing I can say is, let your words do the talking for you, and if people understand what you're saying and what you're saying does actually rhyme it'll work. You don't have to over emphasize or over sell it, if that makes sense. As for the beat/song, I really dig it. Sounds so old school and just has a good vibe to it. I would say it reminds me of Ghetto Boys or something, and that is really great man. Great job finding your voice too man, you sound confident and like you're finding your style. Keep writing, keep recording, and keep doing what you love. Good on you m8.