After detailed analysis came to conclusion that I am, in fact, reicarnation of the Arthur Schopenhauer. If that gf stands for grandfather, sure I am game.
Most clinically depressed folks lack ability to bear ordinary life, therefore end up killing themselves at some point. Not Arthur and certainly that wont be me. Clinical depression is a bit like running while lacking stamina. At first things go well, then they start getting worse and worse and you just want pain to stop, but if you endure all that usually you stop feeling pain and can keep going until body start failing in more mechanical ways. As painful it can be, chemically induced pain can be managed by our brain. With strong enough will and desire we can overcome it. Mechanical injuries we cant. Pain steming from depression is result of chemical reactions in our body and is not result of direct physical injury. Therefore if your will is grand enough you can go from I just want to die to I want to live forever. Sadly its not yet possible to live forever because our body wears off over time. But you can overcome clinical depression and lose most of the human emotions in the process, Arthur did it and I am doing it for past ten years or so.
Have a theory that in fact all murderers, people diagnosed sociopaths and psycopaths have went through mental trauma which triggered depression in their minds. Those who could not bear it, killed themselves. Those who overcame it, deviated to sociopaths and psycopaths because they were stripped of emotions and feelings of morals and empathy. You need to find logic in empathy and good natured behavior towards other members of humanity because emotions wont give you the nudge whats good and whats wrong. Rare can be emotionless and not turn into dangerous individuals.
In my example, logic tells me that hurting other people for no good reason is stupid way of behavior. But honestly, if some disaster strikes and 99% of humans die from it, I would not shed a single tear would actually feel kinda relieved as an act of logical empathy towards this planet and its ecosystem. Because humans are cancer of this planet.
