I've lived in exile so long, I don't know where I'd start if I were to come back.
I've been a dick, I've been a toxic player. I can't say I've been an overall negative influence in the community. I've played this game for 6 years. Its one of the only video games I like, sadly. I've got to know a lot of players in the community, I took a personal interest in a lot of them and consider some to be some damn good internet friends. I often helped new players and gave out gold back when I was a rich man.
I've done a lot of shitty things though, for the sake of my own sick laughter. A couple things come to mind, purposefully griefing other players, implicating admins in irl money loom sales, avoiding bans. Most of all, and what the admins really want me to address was my treatment of Dupre. We had a real feud there, and I won't pretend it was all one sided, sit and grovel and talk about what a shit head I was. Frankly, I'm not sorry. Not sorry in a guilty way, although I am sorry we could not get along. Long time players should help out the people developing, updating and mantaining the mod, and I did not do that. I was actively antagonist to the mod.
I will apologize to James, who I implicated simply to give Dupre grief. I apologize for any shittiness I've shown towards his clan. I was definitely not the person I am today. I've grown up a lot in my absence. I don't want to give people shit for no reason. James is a good guy who always wanted the mod to flourish and provide a welcoming environment and sense of camaraderie for new players.
I will apologize to Sparvico, who I impersonated to spout out racial epitaphs. Sparvico is a good guy and someone I always enjoyed playing with. I shouldn't have done that to an internet buddy. I thought I would be seen through immediately, and I was, but that does not excuse it.
Mostly, I apologize to anyone who's time playing this game I may have ruined. It was shitty. I knew it was shitty, which fueled some kind of sick sense of humor I possessed at the time.
I won't excuse anything I did. I don't plan on doing it again. I just want to play the game with my friends and enjoy myself. I don't want to insult people or be a dickhead and make it any harder on the admin team to do their job, whatever that job is. I want to keep my head low and play strat with my friends and participate in forum arguments with actual racists.
I guess I just don't have a lot to say on the subject. I've just matured a bit. I've had a lot of different things happen to me irl since I've been gone, I just don't feel like that same dude anymore who just wants to be shitty to people.
Hope this is what you wanted. If this don't get me unbanned, see u fine folks @ bannerlord
and the forums most likely
