Author Topic: ❆❅❆ cRPG Christmas contest 2017 ❆❅❆ #thisdaywewrite - edition (Read 7435 times)

Casul · « **on:** December 24, 2017, 02:36:05 am »

Quote from: Uther Pendragon on December 24, 2017, 12:00:00 am

It's christmas and it's time of giving.

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MERRY STORYTIME
- a contest hosted by your favorite badmin

DEADLINE: 2. January 2018 22:00 GMT+0

Intro:
Welcome my friends, and Tybalt. I wish you sincere and happy holidays already, may all your wishes be fulfilled. The day may come when 2017 comes to an end, BUT its not this day. This day we write!

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And to celebrate Christmas, new year AND the incredible revival of the mod, making it literally even more popular than native or any other mod, I deliver you the Merry Story time Christmas contest! hurray!

Task, Rules and Rewards!
So, for those who cba to read everything, here is what the theme of the contest actually is:
Basically, write a story and add pictures of your character. It can be serious, funny, disturbing, trollish, historically correct, whatever you like! I need you to describe me an interesting character I can somehow introduce in my book (see below). It might not appear there 1:1 as you describe it here, but I am very willed to let me inspire by some of your awesome creativeness! The more serious and book-fitting you make it, the higher are your chances to win huge rewards. If you convince me, I will reward you. If I think you had a great idea and put in effort, I will reward you too, even if I will not use your character in my book. The rewards will be given by 2 instances:

1) I choose winners myself. People who convince me, who take this serious and who put in passion and creativity will be rewarded directly by me and will get my personal items.
2) I put everyone participating into a poll and the community can vote their favorites.

This means, you can win twice! Rewards are listed below!

Also a reminder: Think about writing a serious biography, don't forget you could use it twice, once here for the contest and a second time for the c-rpg.net biography function!

level 1 (no artistic skills): cRPG characters!:
Write a story. I want you to introduce a character of your imaginations and describe it in any way you like. For those who are not skilled enough, choose your cRPG character and take some good screen shots of him in the outfits and the atmosphere you find most fitting for him. Post them here, and write a biography like story about him. You can write about his traits, or write it like a short story, like a chapter of a book with him as a protagonist.
level 2 (basic skills): Draw what you like! If you think you're able to draw your perfect character from your imagination, give it a try! A pencil sketch is fine, but don't forget to add a few lines about your characters personalities and traits as well!
level 3 (hard mod - true): Wallpaper time. Do a real artwork of the character you like, convince the community with your superior art skills and you shall be rewarded by a LOOM-SPLOTION

rule of thumb: the more visual art you provide, the merrier you have to write. A giant picture full of details, atmosphere and color needs no more words.

Also, don't spam, don't chat. Please post only contest relevant stuff, appreciation, questions etc is allowed, but please avoid any kind of spam. (I will delete spam)

I am confused, how is a contribution supposed to look like?

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Prequel: (skip if tl;dr) the info in this might be helpful if you are here for my looms

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My train ride to university takes around 3h every day. At first I thought I can use this time to study, but I was taught different. I didn't manage to do uni stuff during that time for many reasons. So I ended up starting to write a book. At first, I used a lot of time to think about a solid background and an actual plot. I was happy with what I brought down and I was making a lot of progress quickly. Now, around 2 months later I am asking YOU people for help. But before I tell you what I am asking you to do, I give a sneak peek into what I am actually trying to write. Before I tell you, I have to say that I am aware that it sounds pretty generic, but I am trying to write it in a very different style. Also this is not a "life work", I am doing it for fun, not expecting anything from it. I also combine pencil sketches and text, which I like the most. Giving a raw undetailed visual impression on how the reader can imagine the written text and esp the characters is what I am missing in most books today. Soo, too fasten things up, heres a quick impression on how I would describe my work so far:
WELL; it basically is a low tier fantasy story in a pretty medieval or even ancient surrounding, the world consists of a island mostly, theres a few continents which do not really end anywhere. There is a few other races than normal humans but they do not even appear in the first 100 pages and are still extremely humanoid. The plot is not really important now, its pretty generic anyway. Anyway, the book is about a group of heroes around the main hero, me. As you can see, I kinda dragged myself into that GoT style of introducing a hell load of different people. I need my own character list for the details, otherwise I'd be lost already. Some of you might be asking what exactly "low tier fantasy" is supposed to be as I probably invented this term. What I mean is; there is some sort of magical things, but the reader doesn't even hear about anything magical directly in the first 100 pages or even more. And even the magical things are quite unimpressive.... No dragons, no wizards running around, no dark lords in black armor. However, what appears more often are e.g. "unreal" things such as 2,20m tall berserks who want to rip your head off. The world overall is quite dark and sad, its mostly cold and quite snowy, most people feel sick and the whole atmosphere is pretty morbid. Trying to make it as dark humorous as I can.
Well, this is actually everything you need to know I think.

What are the rewards?

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FAQ:

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So, now is your turn. Winning Loompoints has never been as easy before, give it a go!

Good luck and a wonderful Christmas time to all of you.

Casul · « **Reply #1 on:** December 24, 2017, 02:36:34 am »

reserved

I will edit all the submission into this placeholder and link them directly to your post so people will not have to scroll through the whole thread for the votum

Phoenix:

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Quote from: Phoenix on December 24, 2017, 09:09:18 am

LISTEN WHILE READING https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBecM3CQVD8

Phoenix, the Spin King. From humble beginnings, to an extravaggant lifestyle.
Lowly peasant. To soldier. To Praefectus of The Lost Legion. To Lord of New Habba. Always the Spin King.

From the rich town of Dhirim in the Kingdom of Swadia, born within a lowly family of peasants. His childhood was dull, but from dull beginnings comes one of the greatest Calradia has ever seen. Dhirim, being located within the center of nearly all of Calradia, was a constant target for war. Villages in the surrounding area were looted often. From Phoenix's lowly birth through the rabble, his destiny was to run his fathers fruit stand just like the many before him. But war forced him to choose otherwise. Through his fathers business, he met many different folk, though he often found himself conversing with mercenaries the most. With the stories of valor he heard from such people, he took up the same occupation as soon as he was of age to do so. Sixteen years old, Phoenix took up arms as a mercenary. Donning the cheapest set of armor he could fund, with a longsword, he set out to join any and all who would pay for his services as a novice in swordfighting.

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When not under contract for mercenary work, Phoenix joined what tournaments he could journey to without going too far. He spent nearly a year travelling to different areas of Calradia. He went to distant lands, and met people from the factions his own native nation had warred with in the past, and fought them aswell. Though even after meeting all the others he had found during his time as a soldier for hire. One group had caught his eye.

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The Lost Legion. Although currently small in numbers, after Phoenix had joined the clan quickly grew to be a powerful force. With the help of others in this newfound group, he showed promise in combat. So much so that he adopted a style he hadn't seen others using at the time. Jumping and spinning.

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To others, he looked like a fool. Until it started working. Countless battles had been won by Phoenix, chopping his way through the enemies (and nearby allies) that dared show themselves to the might of the Lost Legion. It was at this point that 'LL' was one of the most powerful forces of the time. The sundering of the native factions had destabilized the entire region, but allowed many other factions to take up the previously owned land. This practice was known as 'Strategus'. When they had grouped up for battles should the time allow for such, they cleaved their way through the lands of Calradia. Establishing a large enough empire to rival the so called 'Romans' from another place in the world beyond the ocean at their peak.

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Through conquering so much land, killing many enemies of his faction, and spinning, Phoenix came upon a small fortune of gold for his own personal use. He used nearly all of his gold even while at the rank of 'Praefectus' with which he trained the generals personal guard, to order a set of ornamental plate to be crafted for himself. Some questioned his investments. Some questioned his sanity. But he only continued to spin on the haters.

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Though this lavish lifestyle could not last forever. The Lost Legion eventually fell from glory after everyone lost the taste for battle, be it the wealth everyone in the clan had amassed, or age, or becoming wounded. Though it seemed as all of Calradia had done the same. Population dissapeared out of thin air, leaving mere remnants of a world that once was as though an apocalypse had just happened. For a time, Phoenix dissapeared aswell. But once you dip your Bec de Corbin into the cauldron of blood and gold, you can only last so long without getting withdrawl from the fields of battle. Lost Legion was now merely a dim light flickering in the night, compared to the spotlight aimed towards the sky that it was in the history books. But that didn't stop Phoenix from bringing honor to the name of the great kingdom of days long passed. Although mostly lone in his present endeavors, some still say he fights to this day, in his gold and black plate, still representing LL, with a vicious throwing lance and ruthless Bec de Corbin at his back.

From the Book of Spin.
Psalm 70
His spin will lay hold on all your enemies;
   his spin will seize your foes.
When he appears for battle,
   he will burn them up as in a blazing furnace.
The Spin King will swallow them up in his wrath,
   and his fire will consume them.
He will destroy their descendants from Calradia,
   their posterity from mankind.
Though they plot evil against you
   and devise wicked schemes, they cannot succeed.
He will make them turn their backs
   when he jumps at them and begins to spin.
Be exalted in your strength, Spin King;
   we will sing and praise your might.

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pogosan/SirScumbag:

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Quote from: pogosan on December 24, 2017, 12:28:47 pm

I'll write a thing here, but have an old story by Scumbag for now:

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Once upon a time, not too long ago; actually about a week ago, there was a certain hobo.
His skin was weathered, his face quite ugly, and his clothes dirty and smelly. You could
smell him from miles away, but he was no ordinary hobo. He had a dream, a dream that
one day all hobos would unite under one banner, and march together to conquer many
villages, hoes, and eventually build a cardboard castle that many would fear, and even
many'er would visit for a tea and a nice chat.

Sad Hobo was his name, and everyone throughout the lands knew his smell. He traveled
far and wide to find the extraordinary hobos to join his case, or actually any hobos. One
sunny day, he met one particularly ugly individual who smelled even worse than his own
mother. The reek reminded him of home-cooked meals, and his childhood.

“Ahoy there,” said Sad Hobo, as he glanced at a beautifully crafted, cardboard trash pile,
that most hobos would call a decent house. “What be your name, stranger?”

“Scumbag, they call me,” barked the man, while picking his nose.

“Well, I have a dream,” started Sad Hobo. “A dream where we, hobos, rule the world; or
at least a bit of it, for a change. 'Le Hobos Empire' I will call it, will you join me?”

Scumbag stared at him intently, analyzing his intentions, while drilling up his nose still.
“Yi,” he uttered finally, and packed his cardboard house into a handy bundle.

“They call me Sad Hobo,” proclaimed Sad Hobo.

“K,” Scumbag replied, as he was tying his house to a rope.

They set off into the sunset, looking far ahead at the bright future that awaited them.
Few weeks later they arrived at another cardboard house, and there was no mistake
that it belonged to a hobo, as the refined smell of rotting tuna hit their nostrils. There was
a 'Rest in Peace' sign, hanging over the entrance.

“Get offa' my lawn!” yelled a hobo that suddenly jumped out of his lair, spit hanging from
his mouth, as he looked at them with wild, watery eyes. But his expression loosened, as
he smelled them both, and understood that they were hobos themselves.

Sad Hobo told him about their just case, and the empire that would soon conquer to
world. The hobo listened with eyes wide open, and spit still hanging from his open mouth.

“Well, will you join us?” asked Sad Hobo, when he was finished with his story of glory,
riches, and whores.

The new hobo nodded in excitement, drooling all over his hobbit-like feet.

On that day, the three hobos began their journey. The dream of one hobo became the
dream of all hobos. To create the empire that would make all hobos equal, or more equal
than the non-hobos.

As they traveled from one village to another, they sang on top of their lungs: One hobo
for all, and all for one, till the day we die!

beautiful input by Yeldur:

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Algarn:

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Quote from: Algarn on December 24, 2017, 08:27:55 pm

Story time ? Fuck it, story time. No beautiful pictures, but today I fuckin write. I wrote that garbage story in like 30 mins, and I'm like the worst writer ever. I also can't draw for shit, so well... :^)

What the "story" is based on:
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One day in the Fall of 2011, three brothers, tired of the native experience of Warband, found a full server on the browser, they never thought there would be such amounts of players on a battlefield. They decided to give it a go, and downloaded the module, and each of them created their characters on the same account. Those three brothers would become Herlish the Foolish, Thorvic, and Algarn. Our paths forked then. While Herlish discovered the ways of the full-on force characters, and stayed on the DTV and siege servers, Thorvic and me joined Pecores, then Ecorcheurs (now known as OdE, Order of the Star in English). He stayed there and climbed up the ladder to become a leader of that clan, while I went into Risen, before applying for the mercenaries in what, 2013 ?. Shit got real there, I was accepted as an applicant for one of the most elitist clan at the time, didn't know how to do a lot of things, and barely spoke any English. To be accepted, I had to become better at everything, be it teamplay, awareness, aim, everything. I still played lightly armored archer builds at the time, focused on agility, until I was hired for the defence of a castle on Strategus, where I met Nikodin_HRE. That dude (or girl, no clue), could kill so many tincans by just shooting their bodies, and I was in awe of that. One person, basically changed my entire mindset about that class of mine, and I gradually got somewhat better, and was called for future sieges, where I met a fearsome foe : Druzhina archers. Everywhere, every single angle, they were here. A strat siege was more than a siege, it was a mind game, to guess where the enemy would put his head next, where they were aiming at, when would another archer peek another angle, etc... No matter the cost, I tried to face them, and got rekt so badly that DaveUKR, present to one of these sieges, told me (harshly) to take less risks because I was wasting ranged equipment and precious tickets. After that, I eventually died less, and turned into an asset for the defenders. The sieges got rarer, and I instead went to many other field battles, always finding the UIF archers against me. I eventually learned to respect them, the same way you respect an enemy for the challenge they put up unconditionally, every time.
After greatly improving my performance, I was accepted as a full member of Mercenaries, and never looked back. From that point to this day, I remained in this clan, and I truly hope to see all those old faces again, there are so many of them I haven't spoken to, nor even heard of again for so long that it makes me feel sad. These are the guys who allowed me to go through the harshest period of my life, and I hope they're doing alright out there.

Basically, thanks to all of these dudes for making me a better player, and a better person (perhaps) :

- Tuetensuppe (for being an amazing dude in general)
- Gingerpussy (yes, this one is controversial, but the dude was so outgoing on TS that I regret not hearing his voice for so long)
- Tyr
- BlueberryMuffin
- Haboe
- SirCymro
- Have at Thee (inspired me on how to be a better shielder)
- Herezy (taught me how to melee)
- Blackbow (taught me basics of archery)
- Mendro
- DaveUKR (harsh, but just, I hope he won't get his ass killed in Ukraine)
- Intermezzo (as harsh as DaveUKR, but also taught me how to be a better player in general)
- Fredom
- God so many other mercs that I can't remember all their damn names (Panzer, Youhou, SlickyRicky, and so many more...)
- Nikodin_HRE, (made me discover an entirely new playstyle that changed my gameplay)
- Uther Pendragon (for showing me the true way of strength melee builds)
- UIF archers (best enemies, never forget Jebac Mercow)
- Bagge (for being the best archer on EU, hands down)

The feels are real. I want to see those dudes on Bannerlord and reform the Mercenaries there.

From the French lowlands, 3 young brothers took arms for what they thought right, or merely wealth and wanderlust. The youngest, Herlish, fought for innocent virgins and viscounts, and often was found guarding castles and successfully beating back its invaders through sheer strength. The second brother, Thorvic, and the eldest, Algarn, both joined a band of Frenchmen, calling themselves ironically "Pecores", before joining groups of wandering mercenaries, ravaging the countryside, named "Ecorcheurs" (skinners in English). Both of these men learned how to wield their weapons better and went on with their lives, until the eldest, Algarn, left the company. He thought he had potential to go beyond all of this. To become better, to use his sight and skill with a bow to get more gold than he could have dreamt of. He joined a group of wandering knights, flying a blue banner, after he met their leader, Zaalback. He explained Algarn that he was trying to resuscitate an old, famous knighthood order, long forgotten since then. He took the young bowman, and made him realize he could become way better than he could have.

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They fought side by side for months, campaign after campaign. The order of the Risen warriors however started to meet a lot of difficulties, with food and money becoming scarce, as their outposts fell to armies from the East. A choice arose, as a massive army of mercenaries, bearing black banners and various armors and weapons, passed by. Algarn, pushed by hunger, but also by his lust for money, deserted.
He followed the army, and when the time of settling for the night came, he went and asked one of them how to join. The man was named Phase, and while he looked like an agile warrior, a surprisingly large sword was sheathed in its scabbard. Phase took at look at Algarn, and told him that while he was young, he definitely showed potential. They both walked back to the camp, and stopped in front of a tent. Phase told Algarn to wait, and entered. Three minutes later, a slender, bizarre-looking man wearing a brigandine got out, and invited the archer in. The young man took a seat as the person who appeared to be the leader took a glance at his armor and weapons. Algarn was wearing a brigandine with aketon and a kettle hat, and had a short sword hanging at his belt, near his quiver of arrows and his bow.

"My name is Tueten, and I'm the chief of this band. Phase told me you're interested for some work, but how far would you go to get some gold ? I used to be a bandit, just like you, until I decided that kings offer more money than mere dead peasants. The problem is that you don't seem ready to fight our battles yet".
A man in the corner of the room, with a thick eastern accent, rose and added : "I mean, look at this, you look so young you probably never fought a real man. You use your bow to stay away from them, you do not know what pain is, nor you have ever watched a man die by your own hand". He got closer to the fire, and Algarn could see the frightening scars on his face.
"Well, Dave, first you also use a crossbow, and you also should let the young lad a chance to prove himself. Like Phase said, he might be promising after all".

After some more discussions, Algarn was accepted into the company as a recruit, and was led to a campfire with three french mercenaries. One, had black skin and was smoking some strange plants, with a curved bow and a sword at his side, the one sleeping already had a large poleaxe next to him, and the last one had some massive moustache and was sharpening some throwing axes.

- "Blackbow, I told you not to smoke that crap when we're about to sleep"
- "Oh fuck off Mendro, you know I can't sleep without some. Hey, you, come over here, who are you boy ?"

Algarn explained how he got here, and blackbow laughed. "You think you're the real deal because you got involved in some raids ? Look at me, kid, I went into way more than you did, and if I'm here today, there has to be a reason to that. You better sleep well, because tomorrow, you'll get your ass to the shooting range so I can see what you got".

At dawn, after a loaf of bread and some chicken, he took his longbow and went to the firing range with Blackbow. There were targets at different ranges, and Blackbow said "I was young once, and I could hit all of these, but now, I'm old and there are some things I can't do anymore".

Algarn managed to hit targets up to 30m, but missed the rest. Even worse, at the last target, the arrow went into the knee of some random adventurer passing by, who then screamed "I WILL REPORT YOU, BITCHBOY !!!". It was humiliating for him, but Blackbow said, "you know, I've seen worse. Alright, go show that heretic what you can do with a staff". These were the last words Algarn heard before he got beaten for two hours straight by a superior warrior with some incredibly strange footwork. The heretic was spinning his staff so fast the young bowman was confused and missed the blocks all of the time.

At dusk, his body was covered in bruises, with even some multiple open wounds caused by the beating.

-"Well, while you're tough to kill, that won't lead you far where we're going. We're sailing to Calradia in a few days, so better rest, heal up, and keep training because the Grey Order won't have the mercy I had".
-"The Grey what ?"
- "Order." Said Tueten as he came in the tent, surprised by the amount of wounds on the young man's body. "They're enemies from the East, we don't need to know more, we get paid for their heads. Oh, and before I go, you better do what Herezy told you to do, or you won't last long on the walls.

The young recruit took some time to rest, and tried to heal with difficulty his wounds and his pride. 3 days later, they left for the Eastern lands, but then got informed by pigeons that the cities of the Holy Roman Empire were being assaulted, and archers were needed desesperately. Algarn took this opportunity to ask Tueten to go fight on the walls, and he accepted considering the dire situation. Algarn headed to the castle of Derchios, and saw the massive armies afar, swarming the lands of the Holy Roman Empire. As the reinforcements Algarn was part of closed in to the castle, he noticed a very strong, independant-looking woman wielding a longbow just like his, armored with a heavy aketon. He couldn't resist to ask what her name was, and she replied with a german accent : "Nikodin. That's my name. I'm here to take out their plated warriors". "Wait, plated warriors ?" Algarn asked. "Nothing had been said about this in the deal.".

- "Do you know the tragedy of archers ? That's not a story these lords would tell you. They would get so accurate lords would praise them and hire them to defend their castles, but one day, people forged better armors, and while they were accurate, they couldn't kill the carapaced men with their measly arrows. They could save others from mailled soldiers, but not themselves against plated warriors. Ironic."

-"It is possible to get this power ?"

-"Not from weak archers."

They finally arrived in the castle, as one of the armies was closing in. After 8 hours of march, they finally stopped, and set a camp a couple hundred meters away from the castle. Algarn was on watch duty that night, and saw torches lit one after another in the darkness, and sounded the alarm. He grabbed his bow in a hurry, as the defenders gathered in the courtyard and crossbowmen reached the wall. The attackers closed in with ladders, and a siege tower, and suddently, arrows came and decimated the crossbowmen. Algarn peeked through a gap, and saw his targets : monstruous men wearing plates and kuyaks, grey shields and banners, wielding scimitars and steel picks. He opened fired and couldn't take the soldiers out by firing in their torso, because of how well protected they were. He gave up, and tried to locate the archers, and checked the upper level of that siege tower. He saw nomadic archers with curved bows, decimating the garrison of the castle. As he readied to fire, one of these archers realized and shot first. The last thing Algarn saw that night was a siege tower crowded with bowmen. The bodkin arrow hit him in the head, but miraculously bounced off his skull.

When he woke up, the siege was lost. He was one of the rare survivors, and was found lying among the bodies of dozens of men, bearing a massive scar on his head. He was taken prisonner, and put into the dungeon's cages. The door opened, and the guard stepped aside for a familar face to appear : that archer he saw last night. His name was Bagge, and said that he was too young to die in such a way. He set Algarn free, and asked him to come see him when he would be done treating his wound.

Hours later that day, he came to his tent, and asked Bagge the reasons behind his liberation.

-"I've seen many bloodbaths, I've seen so many young men who died for what they thought was right, what do you fight for, archer ? Wait, no, first tell me your name to begin with."
-"My name is Algarn, and I am a mercenary, that should tell you enough."
-"So you aren't buying any of that honor and glory in death bullshit ? Well, that's unexpected. But I'm pleased to see there are some people who aren't going to judge me for what I do because they don't fight for anything else but themselves. And when it comes about the reasons of your liberation, I will confess something to you, young man : either let your enemies leave free so they learn a lesson and don't come back, or kill all of them. I am not an evil man, therefore I am chosing to let you go freely."
- "What of my equipment ?"
- "I fear that the only thing left of your former equipment is your bow, because my men took the rest as spoils of war."

Algarn left the castle, with a mere tunic, and found a dead eastern archer in the pit of the castle, probably killed during the attack. He took his armor off, it was some well-crafted mail, with a red cloak attached to it. He also found a large knife next to the body, as well as a veiled helmet, which would come in handy now that his face had been scarred.

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He rode back to the town of Dhirim, where he asked where to find his band of mercenaries, and he learned that his fellow mercenaries were beaten by the hordes, and fell back to Narra. While he was on his way to reunite with the others and to announce Tueten the castle had fallen, the learned that the Grey Order was declared victorious after all the lands from the Holy Roman Empire fell.

When he reached Narra, he went straight to the tavern to see his leader drinking and having fun with the others, yet as soon as they noticed him, everyone went quiet over his newly aquired armor, and above all else, his scar. He told Tueten his story, and was accepted as a soldier in the company. Then, for years, Algarn worked with the company, fighting bandits for meagre rewards, killing rogue knights and bringing their heads to the unsatisfied lords, but also trying to turn himself into a stronger man. He wanted to one day, be able to take on his revenge on these men of metal and on these archers from the East.

Kratos >_> :

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Quote from: Kratos on December 24, 2017, 10:55:20 pm

Ok I'll try.

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He opened his eyes. Took deep breaths on the ground until he felt the shock wear off. He was in the mud. He was fallen. Tried to get up with all his strength, but armor weighed him down. Quickly untied his stripes and got out of the brigandine. Slowly got up and tried to figure out what was happening. Saw his horse lying on his left, a broken lance through it's neck, with blood washing away with the heavy rain. He quickly picked up his sword from the ground and saw him.
The man that has slain his horse just now, stood across the field, waiting for him to gather himself. His sword was covered in so much blood, even this heavy rain couldn't wash it off. Every breath the man gave out of his war mask turned into steam instantly. Like a boogeyman he stood.
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He was nervous, but had the guts of a soldier. He knew what to do, his confidence wouldn't fail him, nor his strength. The challenger, was as confident as him, you could almost see his anger from his scary war mask. He grabbed his sword with two hands and started walking towards Kratos. The time has come. It was win or lose, life and death. He wanted to ask for help from one of his kin for a moment, but the sound of the rain was the only sound he could hear. So he ran. He ran towards the foe, to strike him down with one single blow. He was going to do it. A swift sound was heard. He tumbled into the mud once again.
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What.. he didn't reach his target yet... He tried to understand, then he saw the bolt in his stomach. He was shot. His eyes were going black. He knew his time was about to end. He wanted to take a look at his lifetaker, above the roof. It was Veselov. He took off his buttplug in a celebretary manner and swung it in the air. Victory was his. He started cleaning the shit stains on his silver buttplug with his tongue. He polished that toy real good, until his beard was all covered in his own making. He re-attached the buttplug and chanted "Я ГОМОСЕКСУАЛ XAXA!" , suppressing even the sound of the rain. Then it was darkness. Forever.

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Yuhmaz and his epic layouting skills:

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Quote from: Yuhmaz on December 25, 2017, 02:09:08 pm

wasted too much of my time please enjoy
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THE MYTH OF REVIVING OWL ''CASSICUS LONGINUS'' Hoot hoot

Between the lushy hills and mountains of Constantinople there is evergreens of flowers that ends in the lustful waves of the bosphorus.That bosphorus seperates europe from asia,the gap between culture and savageness.It starts from strong Black Sea where vikings long time colonized and ends in the beaches of mystic Aegean sea where Plato believed to swam in.Downwards to the gap of these opposing cultures there is a tantalizing Prince Island where a satanic prince of great Ottoman Empire lives.He goes by the name of KillMaX.His sword is heavy ,heavy as 2000 timbers,his arms are strong,strong as 2393 bear paws.He is the mediator of the realms,he is mighty,mystic,mysterious,the enigmacy of his character comes from his contract with SATAN.According to contract he had made,he have to kill a wise,beautiful virgin owl everyday of his life,thus,his daily chores started with killing an owl,so that he lives at ease till end of the day.His lust never ended for owls,when sun borns comes the lust again,the rite of satan must be completed or he will be exiled from the beautiful island of gods and will live as a peasant in a town bereft of ocean and beauty...
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One day the mighty prince of the Island wakes up and goes directly into the evergreens with diabolic eyes so he can find some owl to hunt down.In order to complete the ritual he must slay a beautiful virgin owl,he started to look for one viciously.THE SITUATION WAS CRITIC,HIS TENSION WENT CRAZY,THE THE THE OWLS,OWLLLSSSSSS,ALL OF THEM HAD MATEDDDD WHAT TO DOO NOWWW FAST BREATHSS.

Profesor Maggie Carter from the MIT Faculty Of Biology explains this event : The owlcus islandus evolved through the long years of decimation,in order to survive in the wild they now immidiately mate with their mother and father when they born.(ScienceMag)

''Those motherfuckers'' he said and rummaged the forests looking for one,not listening smartass bitch.

After a long time of search he rested in his house desperately,knowing that he will leave the island in the end of the day because of virgin owlnessless.

THE RITE OF SATAN WAS GOING TO BE INCOMPLETE,TIME WAS TICKING HE HAD TO FIND A BEAUTIFUL VIRGIN OWL.WILL THE PRINCE OF THE ISLAND LIVE AS A PEASANT FOR REST OF HIS LIFE OR HE WILL FIND AN BEAUTIFUL OWL ,HE ENVISAGED.

He prayed to ATHENA GOD OF OWLS to send him an everlasting owl,that will die and reborn next day,God of Athena Aegean Palace Goddess,daughter of Zeus and Metis heard his prayers and sent him an owl named ''CASSIUS LONGINUS'' this god made owl was able to reborn everyday,providing an eternal continuity to the rite of satan.The town folks of the Island prayed to goddess Athena for she bestowed this gift to the Prince KillMaX.Everyday Killmax woke up and killed ''Cassicus'' in order to not to be exiled.Prince KillMaX lived happily all his life,the Athena's graciousness made him live merrily till end of his lingering on earth.

Because of this mythic story village folk in all Anatolia believes owls to be crying to their mother and father for sexual intercourse whenever they heard the sound ''Hoot hoot''.

Hoot Hoot Hoot Hoot Hoot Hoot,owls cry and run,there comes the slayer of the owls,diabolic,mystic,mighty Prince of the Island KİLLMAX THAT KILLS MAXIMUM OWLS. ''Hoot Hoot''
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Cassi:

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Jarl_Onurb:

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Quote from: Jarl_Onurb on December 27, 2017, 09:20:33 pm

I have never been much in touch with the right hemisphere of my brain but looms are looms.

Fair warning: I actually had planned to make the story much longer and detailed but it was taking way too much time and effort so I just resumed pretty much everything in the later half. Hope you enjoy it!

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Life and Death of Onurb, a story of triumph, defeat, love and hate.

Onurb was born in the small village of Glunmar under the reign of the Blue Kingdom, his parents were cousins and had many children but only Onurb and his sister made it to adulthood. Since his early days Onurb showed a enthusiastic love for the works of art he would often see in the local church and dreamed of being able to create such beautiful things for a living, but his father wouldnt let him follow his heart, instead he wanted Onurb to follow his footsteps and become a tax collector for the local lord. For several years Onurb was taught basic mathematics, accounting and bookkeeping; during his early childhood Onurb proved to be a smart kid helping his father with anything he could, but as years passed Onurb's relationship with his father worsened along with his desire to learn.

Onurb's father finally died, leaving 14-year-old Onurb alone with his mother and sister, he grabbed everything he could and left the village of Glunmar to go pursue his dreams in Veluca. He tried to become an artist apprentice for various renowned artists, but none would accept him and so Onurb was forced to adopt a new way of life, the life of a street artist. For the next years Onurb spent most of his days in the streets trying to earn enough to eat by doing any kind of artistic job anyone could need. It was during this period that he started to get himself involved in politics, always listening the discussions of the ocasional nobles and aristocrats, and chatting with other street workers as well as foreigners that visited the town looking for opportunities. Onurb's future was being forged in those discussions.

When Onurb reached 24 years old he enlisted in the Blue Army but got rejected for being 'unfit' for the task, his heart got filled with hatred toward the Blue Kingdom. Not long after, war spread through all neigbouring kingdoms; Onurb once again felt the urge of defending his beliefs against the invaders, but this time he enlisted for his newfound homeland, the Green Kingdom. Onurb performed as a field courier, delivering messages and orders to the numerous captains and commanders in the battlefield; he participated in varius battles and sustained an injury in one of his legs. While recovering from his battle wound Onurb learnt his newfound homeland lost the war.

The rival kingdoms decided not to raid or destroy the Green Kingdom in exchange of complete submission and taking full responability for all damage caused by the war. During the next years the Green Kingdom was left economically destroyed, but Onurb still had hope that his homeland would be a powerful kingdom once again. After the war Onurb got promoted to the hidden division of the Green Army, he became a spy. His first mission was to infiltrate a guild suspected of plotting against the new rulers in Uxkhal. Onurb managed to succesfully infiltrate this revolt-plotting guild and became very involved in their internal functionality, it got to a point where Onurb got discharged from his duties as a spy but he kept being part of the guild, he no longer followed nobody orders, he did it out of his very own will.

Several years passed, Onurb made friends and enemies alike, he became a notorious person among the local population with many followers both commoners and nobles whom would give their lives for him. It was about time for Onurb to restore the former glory of the Green Kingdom, and so with help and support of nobles and others he organized a revolt in Uxkhal; at first the revolt started off as a sucess managing to overtrhow the local garrison HQ, but as Onurb marched with his force to the Royal Palace most of his allies abandoned him; with a small but faithful group of followers Onurb attempted to overtrhow the local lord but failed. Onurb was imprisoned under the charge of high treason.

Onurb managed to avoid execution thanks to the objections of the many nobles that followed him, instead he was charged with 5 years of imprisonment. With help of a friendly guard and a literate monk who shared cell with him, Onurb wrote a book about his life and dreams, he named this book ''This Combat of Mine''. Even after avoiding execution, Onurb's followers and allies managed to convice the Green King to give him a royal pardon and release him, and so Onurb only spent over a year in prison.

Onurb was forced to leave Uxkhal in order to pursue his new dream of restoring the mighty Green Kingdom, and so he went north, to the capital of the Green Kingdom. Onurb's renown grew bigger and bigger over the years, especially during ''The Great Famine'', a food crisis wich resulted in thousands of people dead or in total poverty. Eventually Onurb and many of his allies and followers conviced, or rather, forced the King to give him a title of nobility wich would later allow him to accoplish his goal.

Onurb was now formally part of the Green Kingdom, and as any other noble he had the right to become the rightful ruler of the Green Kingdom, but that wouldn't be an easy task. After many alliances, betrayals and general nobility drama, Onurb managed to become the 2nd most powerful person in the Green Kingdom, the Hand of the King. Onurb took advantage of his new position to destroy his political opposition, and undermine the King's authority. Using shady tactics and manipulation of information, Onurb finally managed to overthrow the King and occupy the Green Throne himself. Onurb was now the rightful ruler of the Green Kingdom.

Onurb's reign started with the imprisonment and execution of any kind of opposition to his beliefs, followed by strengthening the crippled Green Army and all kind of civic proyects such as paved roads connecting all mayor cities within the kingdom, wind and water mills in in every farm under the influence of the Green Kingdom, new mines to promote the production of steel, etc. All castles and cities were repaired and reinforced to resist sieges for decades. The Green Kingdom could once again stand on his own two feets.

Onurb's first military target was the Brown Kingdom. Once a mighty unified kingdom, now was torn apart by internal fights between lords who wanted to occupy the Brown Throne. This was a perfect opportunity for Onurb to test his newly reformed Green Army, but due to the long distance between both kingdoms, Onurb could not afford to occupy any settlement on those lands by himself, instead he opted for supporting whoever he thought had the most rightful claim for the Brown Crown. Onurb also found another ally far in the east, the Yellow Kingdom, an old powerful kingdom notorius for their skilled knights capable of incredible feats of agility and accuracy wielding their famous single bladed swords. Not long after, another kingdom decided to side with the Green Kingdom, the Crimson Kingdom, a kingdom known as the craddle of modern civilization, although they were once a mighty huge empire, time proved to be their most fierce enemy and now they were just recovering from centuries of internal fights.

With the Green Army as strong as ever and some powerful allies to protect his back, Onurb started the main offensive against the rival kingdoms. One by one the the rival kingdoms fell under the mighty Green Army and its unique and efficient way of fighting, the so called ''ThunderTactic''; from the smallest to the biggest kingdoms whom once humilliated the Green Kingdom now were falling before its might. A new empire was born.

With the Green Army virtually undefeated in battle, Onurb's boldness rose higher and higher each day up to the point Onurb decided to attack the until then neutral Red Kingdom; with the Red Army at least ten times bigger than the Green Army, they proved to be a worthy opponent. At first everything seemed to go just as Onurb planned, absolute triumph over the Red Army; but the Red Kingdom was an incredibly big kingdom and distances between towns and villages seemed to grow longer and longer the deeper they went into this lands, the local terrain didnt help much either, with knee-high mud and extremely cold temperatures the advance of the Green Army was severely slowed; what was supposed to be a few months of invasion turned out to be a few years, and so the Red Kingdom managed to muster his troops and march to repel the Green Invasion. Everything that goes up must inevitably fall down.

The news of Onurb's failed invasion to the Red Army at the east reached the ears of the yet to be conquered kingdoms at the west, this news emboldened the remaining survivors of Onurb's conquests and switched from a defensive strategy to an all out offensive campaing in wich almost all western kingdoms fought side by side to repel and destroy the Green Kingdom. Fight by fight the Green Kingdom lost more and more power, and Onurb became more and more wrathful.

After many sieges and battles the Green Kingdom was reduced to its capital alone, and with a combined attack from both west and east the Green Kingdom was finally defeated, again. Onurb's scorched corpse was found after the battle, altough many say that Onurb is still alive hiding in the far away White Kingdom.

Inspiration: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/albert_einstein

Artwork (HUGE SPOILER!!):
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Original image: https://www.bigbadtoystore.com/Product/VariationDetails/49824

HESKEYTIME:

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Quote from: HESKEYTIME on December 28, 2017, 11:29:20 am

Here it is, quicker than I expected since I plagiarise myself from old Diplomacy threads from time to time. Now read Every. Single. Word. (Chapter 3 optional)

Stakhanov - A Strategus Story

Chapter 1:
ORIGINS - Stakhanov Greenshield
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Stakhanov was born the bastard-son of a wealthy man from the Brewers Guild, in the comely Dwarven town of Carlingsberg. Whilst his brothers, Læger and Pilsnïr were legitimate and eligible to study as Dwarven Master-Brewers in the Brewers Guild, Dwarven custom dictated that an illegitimate son was not permitted to follow the family Guild. Instead he was given to the Dwarven Miners Guild from a young age.

The Miners Guild always required extra hands, and cared little for caste or legitimacy of birth. Despite this, there was honour to be gained achieving the ambitious mining quotas of the guild, and battling all manner of nasties in the dark tunnels beneath Carlingsberg. Of battling, no miners were of the Warriors Guild so fighting was straightforward and relied on the brute strength of the miners and their pickaxes. The miners would fight according to ancient and honourable dwarven custom in the dark, with slow powerful overhead swings of their picks and they march down the tunnel slowly – as though they were mining a deposit of ore. Some miners also carried light board shields on the deeper excavations, a habit Stakhanov readily adopted.

Stakhanov did well in the Miners Guild. He overfulfilled his quotas with maximum overfulfillment, and by his 24th year (nothing to a dwarf who are so long-lived) he had been singled out as a poster-boy for the Miners Guild. The town of Carlingsberg was undergoing a revolution of technologies and was modernising quickly, the mining quotas for the latest 5-year plan were huge and Stakhanov’s face was on every poster extolling the virtues of a model miner (visible here in the pictures I haven’t bothered to make yet).

Despite all this success Stakhanov never lost his true dream, to study as a Master-Brewer like his father before him. But this path was closed to him at Carlingsberg. He continued to brew in secret. The Miners Guild were a tightly-knit group, and none of them sold Stakhanov out. They also probably enjoyed his beer too much to consider putting an end to his enterprise, high praise considering the reputation of Carlingsberg beer. Despite all this, some of the deeper tunnels took weeks or even months of travel to reach and the ales of the time would never last long enough without spoiling. The deeper mines frequently had morale problems as a result of dwarves being forced to drink sour beer or worse, water.

In one such deep copper-tunnel, Stakhanov earned his adage. The collapse of an internal wall revealed a pack of ferocious deep-cave-bears, of unusual size! In the vicious fighting that followed, only 7 miners survived. By the time they emerged from these caves the intensity of the fighting had shaken the very tunnels and sprinkled a dusting of copper ore over the dwarves, giving their shields a greenish hue. The surviving dwarves were given the adage “Greenshield” in recognition of this event, and he became “Stakhanov Greenshield” from that day onwards.

Near the end of the 5-year plan, in his 29th year Stakhanov Greenshield had a brewing revelation. By chilling the beer during the brewing process he was able to make a cool crisp beer with some carbonation that would survive much longer in transit. In his excitement he proclaimed this discovery to all immediately before appearing before the Mountain King of Carlingsberg! This would change everything! A beer that could survive into the deepest mines! An accomplishment like this might even get him declared a Dwarven Paragon, chosen and favoured by the ancestors, a proclamation sufficient to overrule the illegitimacy of his birth! However, his envious half-brothers Læger and Pilsnïr stole his discovery as their own, and before the Mountain King who was to be believed? The bastard-son of a brewer or the two trained Master-Brewers of the Brewers Guild who were of legitimate birth? They stole his invention, and named it after themselves.

It was then that Stakhanov realised, he would never discover his destiny under the rule of another Dwarven Lord. Though Dwarven society was often very rigid in terms of social caste and opportunity, the ancient right of conquest was something that no Dwarf would deny. Should a Dwarf ever take land of their own they are entitled, regardless of their caste or status, to become the Mountain King of that land and rule as they see fit. For this reason Dwarven Kingdoms were seldom expansive, every single dwarf has the potential destiny to rule from their own hold.

So this is what Stakhanov decided he would do when set out to Calradia, he could not brew, so he would be King.

Chapter 2:
ESTABLISHMENT– The Dwarven Miners Guild
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Stakhanov did not burn all bridges behind him, he remained a member of The Dwarven Miners Guild although it did not have a branch in Calradia until Stakhanov brought it with him. Stakhanov originally intended to go on this journey alone but received a message from an old friend, Renay, who was already established in Calradia. Hearing that Stakhanov had plans, Renay was eager to team up once again and Stakhanov was grateful for the assistance.

Calradia was a strange land. Most of the settlers were men, some elves, few dwarves, and a hoard of creatures known as GOBBLINS. The traditional ways of fighting, the honourable ways, of walking slowly forwards swinging only over the head did not meet much success in this land. Renay, having dwelt in this land far longer, had adopted a fighting style which he had learned from the humans, specifically for killing humans. He styled himself as a ‘ninja’, a word unknown to Stakhanov.

The dwarven ‘ninja’ would use thin (effeminate) blades, speed, trickery, surprise attacks from behind and always always run backwards if pressed into combat. Deeply, deeply dishonourable for a dwarf. However, Stakhanov quickly learned that they were fighting against races without honour and that as a result, the dwarves would lose no honour fighting this way against them (so long as honourable fights between dwarves were still settled according to custom).

Stakhanov quickly identified a large mountainous range that was rich in mineral wealth in the north-eastern summit of New-Calradia. There were already two ramshackle villages there and a mighty hold of stone sitting imbedded in the mountain itself – Nova Jelbegi Castle. This is where he would make his hold. This is where he would be King!

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Stakhanov and Renay called a small force of dwarves to themselves from these mountains, and they willingly came in loose order as The Dwarven Miners Guild was known to them from lands long-since left behind. The small villages of New Jelbegi and New Ambean quickly submitted to Stakhanov Greenshield, New Jelbegi fell first with a minor skirmish and New Ambean practically rolled out a welcome mat. Dwarves were known to be industrious and the people knew they could prosper under this rule. The mountains, as they knew, held much untapped potential.

New Jelbegi would be Stakhanov’s temporary seat, New Ambean was given to Renay. As previously stated, every dwarf has the right to be their own King and Stakhanov was keen that The Dwarven Miners Guild protect dwarven interests, whilst never dictating what each sovereign dwarf ruler should do. This was a concept alien to most in New-Calradia, in particular the humans who love central organisation and expand their lands in neat concentric rings around a central seat, or the GOBBLINS who follow the loudest leader at hand and dissipate when he is no longer around.

It took some time to mobilise the dwarves and production from New Ambean and New Jelbegi to launch an assault on Nova Jelbegi Castle. The hold was known to be a difficult approach and even harder to scale, fortunately it was at this time only held by a meagre force of bandits and they fell quickly. Stakhanov looked around and felt that this was something of an anti-climax, he had done it! He was Mountain King of Nova Jelbegi Castle and the mountains surrounding (human lords mysteriously draw borders around plains and rivers close to their holds, Stakhanov and Renay would often laugh at this – “good luck finding precious stones or ore out there!”).

There was to their south a village called Tahlberl known for its coal mining, but this was strongly defended by a human Kingdom known as the Despotate. For now Stakhanov would not be hasty, although he did covet this land in order to fully unify ‘The Coal Shoulder of Calradia’ as he called it. For now the mountains to his east were his and his alone, and that was enough.

Chapter 3:
A FINE OMEN – The Miracle of Kesh
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As Stakhanov Greenshield returned to his home-village of Jelbegi one day he witnessed a fine Strategus omen that improved his spirits immensely.

For staying in this fief at the moment of Stakhanov's arrival, was none of than the legendary Kesh!

Stakhanov looked on as the old hero watched over the fief of Jelbegi.

''Wahl Howdy Par'ner!'' Kesh drawled in his deep southern accent, ''Come pray with me son''

Stakhanov sat with the legend as Kesh brought his hands together in prayer.

''Hail Jesus, full of Grace
The Lord is with thee,
Blessed art thou amongst Jesus'
And blessed is the fruit of thy Jesus, Jesus
Holy Jesus, mother of God
Pray for us Jesus now,
and at the hour of our deaths
Amen''

Stakhanov opened his mouth to say what an honour it was to meet and pray with Kesh, but before a word could pass his lips the prayer continued...

''Dear Jesus,
Thank you for this latest round of Strategus.
Thank you for the new I-dams*, and for the revival of siege.”
(*he's saying 'items' but with his accent it sounds like 'I-dams')
”Thank you also for friends, both old and new on the map.''

Stakhnov was about to say 'amen' and cross himself, but Kesh carried on...

''Thank you for all of my favourite fiefs,
Such as: Jelbegi, Dhirim, Zagush, and a personal favourite of mine... Derchios Castle''

...!...

''Thank you for Almerra, Ulburban, Chaeza, Vyincourd Castle and Slezkh''

...

''I personally enjoy Slezkh cos it sits next to Slezkh Castle.
I like this castle because it sounds kinda like 'Kesh-zkh Castle!''

''Thank you for HoC's awesome siege of Almerra Castle last night,
My main man Edon_of_The_Mountain achieved a sweet K/D of 7/11''

"...Kesh?" Stakhanov tried, but couldn't get a word in edge-ways...

''Y'know it's not the *best* K/D in the rowster, but he made some pretty big plays for the team that really aren't reflected in that K/D alone.''

"...Are you done?" Stakhanov persisted.

''And 7/11 is still pretty darn good when you consider the circumstances, attacking a well armed castle at this stage in the round''

"...", Stakhanov gave up at this point and decided to start thinking about what he'd have for dinner as Kesh persisted in breaking the 4th wall.

''I also want to thank 'TheJollyCanadian' for attending this battle, his 3/9 K/D was ok but he really kept our spirits up in that siege, and I reckon he could sure teach Arrowaine a thing or two!''

.

''Tennjo, you fought with the strength of ten! You obtained a K/D of 10/11 sir!

Hey HoC guys you better watch out for this one, I'm pretty sure Tennjo wants this castle for himself, if he's gonna fighting like that for it he needs a promotion!''

...

..

.

Many hours passed before Kesh fell silent, at that point Stakhanov began to wonder if he'd fallen asleep! Stakhanov had just managed to control his temper as Kesh rambled on. But just as Stakhanov stood up to leave Kesh looked at him and said:

''Lead them Stakhanove...''

Stakhanov returned a puzzled look

''Lead them on the map, and ol' Kesh will lead them on the battlefield.''

So it was settled, and from that moment onwards the legendary Kesh would lend his vocal talents to leading every battle that the Dwarves found themselves in.

Chapter 4:
INDEPENDENCE AND VIOLENCE - The Dwarven Way
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Stakhanov knew that with the Hold of Nova Jelbegi Castle, he could grow old behind these walls and never fear for a moment the prospect of being attacked. He had already learned that humans hated being the aggressors in war, preferring to sit behind walls and get fat. The GOBBLINS to the west were warlike and had begun to hoard under a new leader, but that was far from here.

But Stakhanov felt obligated to do more. He knew there were others out there like him, dwarves or those with hearts of dwarves who wanted their lands, their own sovereignty, but were unable to do it. To these he offered the protection of The Dwarven Miners Guild, with the same guarantee he always gave of total and utter freedom to rule as they see fit.

It began with an already-established dwarf in this land called Eirik, who claimed the mountain fortress of Sungetche in the west as his own. Stakhanov publicly endorsed this claim with the support of The Miners Guild. However, the lands were beyond his reach and a Free Peasant names Arys took the land first. Eirik came to Nova Jelbegi Castle to assist and was loathe to push his claim, but Stakhanov entered Arys’ name in the Dwarven Book of Grudges nonetheless.

Another dwarf referred to by the natives alternately as “Big Fella” or sometimes “Bronto” came into the possession of a desert village far to the south called Tamnuh. It had a salt mine, and although Stakhanov had always been warned against mining salt (Dwarven pun for having an outwardly sour mood) he placed Big Fella and his village under the protection of the guild to rule as an independent lord. Though later it would become clear that humans had little comprehension or respect for Stakhanov’s vision of independent lords in far-distances lands united not by proximity to each other but by proximity to mountains and mining operations.

Never was the independence of each dwarven lord more clearly on display than in the conflict with the Kingdom of Pars. One day, armed traders from the Kingdom of Pars were fleeing the GOBBLIN hoard in the west and came to Ambean laden with trade goods. The exchange of messages via raven between Renay (Lord of Ambean), Stakhanov, and Bronto were kept for the history books:

Renay: Can I attack the kingdom of pars?

Bronto: Yes, they are cunts :DDDDD.

Renay: LOL. ok I'm attacking

Stakhanov: I'll write an inspiring speech that will rally the men.

Let it be mentioned here that human lords and kings in Calradia are always on the look-out for fresh scandal (or something they can pretend to be a scandal), fictional inventions of unspoken alliances or to generally “stir up shit” as a human would say. So there was some interest in The Dwarven Miners Guild attacking the Kingdom of Pars so suddenly as they fled GOBBLINS. Stakhanov immediately circulated his proclamation to all corners as the battle commenced:

“Look, if Renay wants to attacks Pars and declare war on them without provocation, then he should do exactly that” – Stakhanov Greenshield

And so it was, and much wealth was gained from the plunder.

Chapter 5:
AN UNLIKELY CONFLICT – The GOBBLIN War
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The GOBBLIN King was pleased with the warlike mentality of The Dwarven Miners Guild, but in a similar vein many of the members of his hoard acted as they wished broadly speaking. The desert village of Tamnuh, owned by Bronto, was far far from any Dwarven lands but right on the doorstep of a GOBBLIN army. The small village was overrun, and Bronto came north to Stakhanov’s seat of power in Nova Jelbegi Castle.

By human reckoning the village was too far away to be significant. By GOBBLIN reckoning the village was too small and weak to be worth fighting for. By Dwarven reckoning a great injustice had been performed, and Bronto must be returned to his rightful seat of power!

Much to everyone’s surprise, The Dwarven Miners Guild on that very same day made public their declaration of war on the GOBBLIN Hoard! Honour must be served and they would assault the GOBBLINS immediately in the north (the desert fief of Tamnuh being so far to the south).

Three... Four massive dwarven armies were dispatched to engage the GOBBLINS by the shortest and most direct route to their lands. However, these armies were too cumbersome and ill-equipped to handle the battle-hardened veterans of the GOBBLIN Hoard in the field. They were defeated, badly, and the leaders of these armies scattered.

In this desperate hour, the greatest secret of the war was conceived. In secret, an elite force of the best-trained Dwarves with only the finest pickaxes and green hoods were dispatched deep into GOBBLIN territory, led by the bravest Commander Skathanov ever did see. To serve the Miners Guild as this chosen Commander saw best... The SwitchCOM Project. Redacted files of this project were later revealed:
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Confidential
Full gear, unparalleled weapons and equipment. An army like nothing anyone has produced so far this strategus.
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Confidential
This brave soul carries the hopes of our people on his proud shoulders...

We will be watching Commander

But in secret, all of this was a diversion from the real war. The entire time, Bronto was heading far south back to his desert fief of Tamnuh, on a journey that would take him a long time. With the GOBBLIN attention turned north, they would not be watching Bronto’s former village! However, things never go to plan, the GOBBLIN Hoard disbanded as their leader left just days before Bronto arrived. Dwarven armies in the north defeated, SwitchCOM in deep cover and the Hounds of Chulainn took Tamnuh. The Dwarves left the conflict battered and with nothing to show for it, except the honour of being the aggressors on combat.

Chapter 6:
NO RESPITE – The Holy Crusade
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The Dwarven Miners Guild was diminished in strength immediately following the GOBBLIN War. But what they lacked in men and silver they made up for in spirit, every single dwarf was glowing after the GOBBLIN War, they had shown they had balls and were eager to continue to do so. Not a single Dwarf advocated waiting and rebuilding, they were already gathered around the map looking for the next war. And Stakhanov’s eyes once again drifted to Tahlberl… The final piece of The Coal Shoulder of Calradia.

Since the GOBBLIN War had begun, the dwarven commander numbers had increased. War was good for morale and great for activity, even when taking bad fights. These were likeminded individuals, each capable of raising, leading and equipping armies and gathering silver themselves. They numbered roughly 10 commanders at this point from old friends to even a GOBBLIN defector who was impressed by the Dwarven zeal shown during the war. Stakhanov had been very clear to the defector that he bring no troops, gear, silver or information from his old faction. Honour demanded it. These commanders were Stakhanov’s beloved sons, and his greatest wish was to give them each land and independent rule. They would be Kings!

With the above in mind, Stakhanov became ambitious. He had reason to settle an old Grudge with Arys, Penitent wanted to take ‘The Lonely Mountain’ from the GOBBLIN remnant, and Yoshi bandits had attacked Renay some weeks before. The Yoshis had a couple of villages near a mountain fit for a petty dwarven-lord. But to take land for everyone and unite The Coal Shoulder, he looked south.

Tahlberl, the nearby castle and other villages were owned by The Holy Crusade. At the start these had been a clan within The Despotate of Veluca, but had turned-coat to join The GOBBLIN Hoard then quickly turn independent. By Stakhanov’s own estimate they had no more active commanders than the Dwarves did, but any attack would have to be swift as the Dwarves were depleted and the Crusade were not.

In a daring action Stakhanov shot straight for the castle with his own force, with supporting forces in the area. This caused diplomatic outcry from The Holy Crusade’s leader, Bruttus, but was considered by the Dwarven Council to be the best option to avoid endless reinforcement of the castle, a gamble. The attack was met with disaster… an utter failure to gain a foothold on the walls against superior weaponry and numbers. Dwarven armies of this and the previous war spent heavily on armour that at the time was superior, but spent poorly on weapons. The reasoning being that armour boosted survivability for a crushing push, and opponents could not loot superior weapons off the dwarves. But the enemies had superior weapons, and the armour did very little.

The war turned further ill. Some armies in the field had opportunity to sit tight and fight defensively, but Dwarven pride dictated total war, maximum disruption! Every Dwarven army in the field was eager to engage, and so they did. Charging against villages, armies sitting behind rivers, traders, every target that emerged from inside a fortification MUST be engaged! And the losses were staggering. But each time the leader of The Holy Crusade sought to enter diplomatic talks at an advantage with The Dwarven Council, and gloat about his victories, he was met with Dwarven stubbornness and delight. Stakhanov had sworn long ago that no dwarf raised and equipped in Jelbegi Castle would ever die of old age, as happened with so many human lords. They were born to die in battle and he was finally proving it.

The war dragged on. There was a total disconnect between the expectations from a human lord and the culture that the Dwarves had fostered, “but you’re losing” the human lord would say and talk of punitive terms for peace, as if the Dwarves desired peace in any way shape or form. The most raucous laughter would come when Bruttus threatened to wipe the Dwarves from the map, as they knew he would never dare assault Jelbegi Castle. In another gamble, the castle was often left without gear or men, so confident was Stakhanov in the fear men had of such places.

The Dwarves knew as long as they had a safe hold they could continue to raise troops, continue to deal and bring in allies even if only to raid and disrupt. Total war. Forever. And this embittered Bruttus further, who did not appreciate being informed of this. Things came to a head when the SwitchCOM project emerged from deep cover, having missed the GOBBLIN conflict they assaulted a Holy Crusade village and again the fight went ill. Worse than that, many of the mercenary dwarves fighting in the line started to comment on the inferior performance of pickaxes and green hoods in warfare and threatened never to join Stakhanov’s ranks again. But Dwarven spirits were high, they savoured seeing Bruttus’ reaction to the ‘elite’ force they had talked about for so long, and his attempt to speak to the Dwarven Council and disparage the army of pickaxe-users was met with spluttering laughter.

As things went on and showed no signs of ending any time soon, Bruttus appeared to deteriorate. For every victory in the field he could somehow never turn that into a moral victory, a PR victory, something that would dampen Dwarven resolve. When Stakhanov announced to the world his ‘2nd Generation Armies’ that the Dwarves had assembled at great expense, with lighter faster armour and far better weapons which had learned the lessons of previous battles, things became very heated. Rather than discussing surrender, punitive payments or relinquishing land to Bruttus the Dwarves were casually talking about their newest army compositions? To a human lord this was inconceivable. Bruttus would try to announce to the world how few troops he predicted the Dwarves to have left, and the Dwarves would snigger knowing how wrong he was. Every single commander was active rallying more Dwarven fighters at all times. And every single commander was experienced, competent, and well connected.

This bitterness led to a rift within The Holy Crusade. Bruttus never tired of insulting the Dwarves but when he began insulting clan-mates within The Holy Crusade the really rift grew. Stakhanov loved mining at the best of times, but he enjoyed undermining Bruttus' authority perhaps even more, and decreed that the Dwarves would only negotiate from a select list of lords within The Holy Crusade. Lords who had impressed them, and Bruttus was not on the list. It was in one such negotiation that Stakhanov was about to list his terms including not only peace but a surprise alliance (given the respect the Dwarves had gained for their foes in battle), but on the condition they give Tahlberl to the Dwarves and that Bruttus resign as leader. However, before he could list these terms, Bruttus announced his resignation early and left to far-away shores. With that demand already taken care of, Tahlberl was traded for an alliance between The Holy Crusade and The Dwarven Miners Guilds.

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In that final moment, Stakhanov had united The Coal Shoulder of Calradia and could live the rest of his life in peace. He retreated into his mountain hold as the world around darkened and warfare in Calradia became rare and petty. It left time for him to brew, as he was King here and there was not a Dwarf to tell him otherwise nor wicked half-brothers to steal his recipes! He did sometimes hear word of his ‘sons’ thriving in the world beyond. Penitent did eventually take his Lonely Mountain as he had always hoped, and was King there for a time. But the time of war and expansion from The Miners Guild in Calradia, had ended.

FlyingHydra:

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Quote from: FlyingHydra on December 28, 2017, 07:17:26 pm

Well, if broken English is ok....
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Egpath has been born big. He noticed that he is bigger than the other children, and, even though it was hard to call him a smart kid - he realized what he should do - he spent his young years training and exercising, lifting weights and cutting down trees, practicing with a sword. Soon Egpath has become a valuable sword-for-hire which you can find in pretty much any tavern. Some of the most regular customers of those taverns could tell you a famous story about the Egpath the Bearkiller - a huge human who cut a bear in half with a single blow, while some other customers will say that he killed a bear with his bare hands. Those stories are not something unusual that you could hear from drunkards and Egpath has never talked about any bears either - but he indeed looks like someone who would do that, mostly because of his height. However, Egpath is actually a nice guy if you'll get to know him better.
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Born in a noble family, Alfdis watched her brothers training and fighting with swords. She tried to do that too, but each time was defeated by boys. Despite the fact that her parents forbade her to take a sword or fight, she tried over and over, until her father gave her a bow. It was unusual to see how the noble's daughter spends her time on a shooting range day by day, but she liked it.
Everything has changed when she was promised to a noble male. From now on, the shooting range has been closed to her. Instead, wedding preparations took its place. She hated to be weak more than anything else, and now her own parents are forcing her to obey and "to become a proper wife". She could not stand it. Alfdis took her bow and sneaked out of her mansion. She is on the run these days, surviving and living the free life.
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Lady Luck gave the Squire title to the young Kellen. Being a usual peasant boy, he thought it will make him a knight from the fairy tales he always dreamed to be.However, it didn't happen. Instead, after nine years of service, his Lord has been killed in his own chambers by the hand of a hired knife. Broken and grieving, he took his dead lord's armor and escaped the castle, decided to take the fate into his own hands. He knew that, from now on, he will not let anyone stop him from becoming the one he sees in his dreams - a true knight from the fairy tales.
Today, "sir" Kellen, how he calls himself, is helping peasants, "accomplishing deeds" and "fighting evil", using their supplies to eat and local blacksmith's services to repair his equipment. He has been caught once by the new lord, that tried to get back the knight's armor and to get rid of the rebel, but now he is free again. A guy who fights bandits and makes peasants happy could be useful. Even if he is the one who killed his own lord.

(Viscount, not sure if countable but quite funny for sure:)

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Fungus · « **Reply #2 on:** December 24, 2017, 02:41:06 am »

gib
looms

Viscount · « **Reply #3 on:** December 24, 2017, 02:46:24 am »

Can we be the Grinch and steal everything?
I don't want to write a long essay like if I was in school again.
Are we allowed to like use PC art also I have a shitty phone and can't get a decent picture

the real god emperor · « **Reply #4 on:** December 24, 2017, 03:00:38 am »

We do this in Ramadan as well or else it's racism.

Tristan_of_Erzoth · « **Reply #5 on:** December 24, 2017, 03:24:03 am »

Not done by myself, but sharing it anyways cuz i feel like it :p

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Drawing of me(wielding flambard), Rando(in back) and Cassander(in front with the axe). Commissioned a porn artist $7 to make this for me totally worth it

Jaren · « **Reply #6 on:** December 24, 2017, 04:09:47 am »

{Placeholder}

Viscount · « **Reply #7 on:** December 24, 2017, 07:12:15 am »

Quote from: Tristan_of_Erzoth on December 24, 2017, 03:24:03 am

Not done by myself, but sharing it anyways cuz i feel like it :p

(click to show/hide)
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Drawing of me(wielding flambard), Rando(in back) and Cassander(in front with the axe). Commissioned a porn artist $7 to make this for me totally worth it

You can make an anime cover if you add effects into this https://imgur.com/I6jYGkZ
No I suck posting images on the fourms. to complex :/

Thryn · « **Reply #8 on:** December 24, 2017, 08:10:27 am »

reserved

Nickleback · « **Reply #9 on:** December 24, 2017, 08:40:07 am »

if winning depends on your parameters,i will write an animal orgy story puttin on my mouse and pig helmet.
Btw,nastiness (oh oh oh yea oh ye come on oh) is ok?
Btw,butther might have meant smt else?

Asheram · « **Reply #10 on:** December 24, 2017, 09:02:49 am »