So, I got a letter lately from King Yarolek, he asked the following question:
and I looked at the map
and I looked at my royal butter stashes
and I looked at my savegames
and I said:
"King Yarolek, your reign is over. This land now belongs to Catamitus and no ass shall be left behind."
"You monster" he responded. "How did you manage to do that? I sent my soldiers to burn your villages, but they came back, mentally scarred and afraid, simply telling me over and over that the peasants were complaining that my soldiers raping was too "vanilla". What training did those peasants receive??"
"None." I answered, "but god is on their side, they pray a lot in the church of Catamitus."
Yarolek remained silent. Then he said "Very well, you have won, King Rectum. I know I have caused you and your mean a lot of sorrow, but mellow your grudge and god will smile upon you."
And I said:
"God is smiling upon me, King Yarolek, so have no fear. No human being shall do your rear any harm. You have my promise, for I am Rectum, the King of Catamitus."
"No human being shall do your rear any harm."
The End