It was a long day, and Kesh's army of personal ball squires had finally made it to New Malayurg. They had planned to take the idle castle in a daring display of bravery and courage. Who could challenge such a tactically superior strategy? Surely no one could stand up to such a bold play.
Or so it seemed. Kesh's forces began laddering up to the seemingly empty fortress, arrogant and proud.
But it was quiet. Too quiet.
Kesh smelled something as foul as he was and began to gag.
The castle walls started to erupt with a virulent typhoon of defecation.
The first wave of men and their ladders were swallowed up and burned away by streams of boiling hot shit.
The raw sewage cascaded down from the walls and soiled the ground that Kesh stood upon.
A formation of archers was struck by what seemed to be a perfectly molded boulder of human waste, probably made by Larry, which exploded on impact.
Mason jars of brown phosphorus rained down upon the remainder of Kesh's forces. They soon succumbed to the deadly combination of broken glass in their eyes and human waste caked into their wounds.
Little did Kesh know, the remaining force of Sodomy had installed a taco bell in their castle, and had been storing raw shit in preparation for Kesh's arrival.
You could say that they wanted to roll out the brown carpet.
R2Salt2 sat atop the castle wall, cackling mechanically and recording this to be later uploaded on a scat thread on 4chan.
Allers couldn't even use his healing tent as it was filled to the brim with Diarrhea. Thus he went home and went back to playing counter-strike.
Finally, it was down to just Kesh and his two valiant pikemen that he paid real life money to protect him every battle.
Then something strange happened. Two grisly phantoms appeared on the battlefield. One of Relit, and one of Diggles. They quickly overcame the cowardly pikemen and tore them inside out for not paying homage to Relit, the patron saint of pikes.
They held kesh down on his knees, and his little t-rex like sperg arms could do nothing against the might of these spectral vengeance seekers.
Then, Kesh's Wife's Son's Father gracefully rode down one of the shit streams in his kayak made from human foreskin and stood over the sperg.
He looked down upon Kesh with a devious smile and dropped trow.
One of the ghost's held his mouth open, as the man squatted down over his face and took the nastiest taco bell beefy burrito fueled shit that was ever taken deep into Kesh's throat. He seemed to keep erupting forever, pushing the brown lava deep into the man's insides. So much so that it forced Kesh's own shit out in order to make room for the fecal matter that now possessed his body.
The king of cucks had died the way he lived. On his knees and completely full of shit.
The End.
(This is how you shitpost)
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