Rico says I'm the worst case around. While that may be true, I'm bit of a special case. Unable to take anything seriously (will joke about anything, really, no taboos but I do find some things disrespectful especially matters of life and death), ever since nearly drowning in a lake twelve years ago. People say that's like getting second chance to do it right whatever this means but I'm just unable to see what's right and what's not. Actually not right thing for me is to mess with other peoples lives. Rest is just idgaf. Near death experience helped me realize how life is kinda pointless. Still would want to continue my line, that's pretty much my only goal in life.
So yeah, I'm not that unreliable, will do menial tasks for you if reasonable. Up to that point I'm dependable. But have zero ambition to rule over mankind so to speak. To get better for the sake of being better than fellow human. Getting better for myself mostly at my own pace.
Used to spend a lot of time playing cRPG, stopped doing that altogether. Playing games a lot less than before but still there are some games that take my attention and make me obsessive compulsive as always. Strange thing is, I still play those highly adictive games less than average human do. I mean, Factorio is basically achievements game. You unlock thing after thing that lets you make more things to unlock different things... it's vicious circle. Everything takes so much time before you automate it all when it becomes pointless to play anymore. Many video games are like that, specifically designed to be time consuming. Still, I play Factorio less than others do.
But playing less games didn't change my drive so to speak. There is little of it despite not spending much time on trivial bullshit. Wouldn't call it apathy, that's a state of being miserable. Which I'm not. Just not particularly engaged emotionally into things. Just can't. Psychologically a bit broken after that accident and analyzing people behavior didn't help either. Can't involve myself with human apart from those few I really like. That reflect at everything else because we are human made, human driven society and if you're not the one to engage with humans actively and passionately you're not going to get anywhere in human terms in this world created by humans.