I shall split this in two seperate stories, that will intertwine when you least expect it, if you do not mind.
BigMac:
There once was a little BigMac, a LittleMac if you will, who was constantly bullied at McDonalds for having ugly buns.
He was never really convinced that he will ever become one big, tasty and good looking burger.
Sitting in front of his pickles, wondering what the future holds, he quietly sobbed himself to sleep every single night.
But there came one day, when everything would change.
What it means to be American:
Desire (For the sake of protection of privacy, I will refer to her as 'Jane' from now on) walked down the road. A cone of ice cream in one hand, a slice of pizza in the other, and an assault rifle strapped to her back.
Well actually, she did not really walk. She was driving a mobility scooter because fuck walking. That shit just gets you tired.
Where were we, ah right. She lived a good life. She never really worried about the future, because it would always work out for her. Sometimes she gets in a little trouble, like every other person does from time to time. But no matter how tightly trouble's grip was, she always managed to slip out and carry on as if nothing ever happened.
Her dad being in the military, serving his country bullet by bullet, filled her heart with nothing but proud and freedom.
Yet deep inside, she always felt that one tiny piece of the puzzle missing. That one piece that would make her feel whole. That one piece...
BigMac:
His night was everything but calm. He turned left, he turned right. He rolled over, he flipped his blanket, until PZZTTT! He was laying there, eyes wide open, the cooking oil running down his forehead, hands clenching his sheets. What was that noise? This was a very unusual time for.. 'THE MACHINE' to do its thing.
Nobody really knew what it is doing. Rumour has it, that fellow burgers are randomly selected to elevate into a better place. Some call it Burger King.
'Nah, that is just a story the older ones tell the little burgers to scare them', that is what his older brother always said. He hasn't seen him in ages.
He got up and checked his left and right. Everybody seemed to be asleep. Suddenly the ground started to shake. 'This can't be!', he thought to himself.
Skies split open and a huge hand emerges from the clouds of grease. Picking the other burgers up one by one, lifting them higher than LittleMacs eyes reached.
So it hasn't been a story, it was all the truth. His beef filled with contentment. Would he, too, be chosen and taken to a better place? Taken to.. Burger King?
The hand reached down time after time, always swiftly avoiding LittleMac, as though it would be ashamed of him as a burger.
With every burger that is chosen, LittleMac grows sader and sader. Is he really that ugly? Is he just not good enough to be a real BigMac?
Was god, or as the burgers call him: 'BurgerFlipper', really that cruel, to not bless him with deliciousness?
LittleMac turned away and slowly waddled away. There was no point to keep going if he was not to be chosen. He stood by the edge of the world he has been living in. Looking down, there is endless darkness. The so called 'Trash Can'. Just one step further, and it all would be over.
What it means to be American:
Jane (Desire, in case you forgot) just kept driving. To get home, she had to take a u-turn but she did not even think about it.
There just had to be more to life, than just pizza, ice cream and shooting at the neighbours kids' pets. That puzzle piece was out there, just waiting to be collected. She had to find it.
One minute passes, and another, and another. Not a single thought wasted about turning around, or even stopping. But that did not last for long.
After 10 minutes she passed that one building she could not deny, was her favourite place in the whole world.
Slowly approaching it, she knew what was waiting for her inside. She kept telling herself 'Do not go in there, it is not good for you', but somehow, she knew she was lying to herself. No drug compares to what awaits her. She could not help but get off her scooter and open the door to walk in.
BigMac:
But then, just as he closed his eyes to make that one last step, he doesn't fall. He looks up and struggles to catch his breath.
The hand. It has chosen him! All his worry, all the sadness and anger, all for nothing!
He is carefully placed inside a huge object, that he has never seen before. And there they are! All the other burgers, no matter how much they disliked him, he is so happy to see every last one of them. He definitely was the happiest burger in all of McDonalds!
What it means to be American:
Desire Jane slowly looked down. Her eyes burning with lust and desire (hehe). Her hands start sweating and she gets that twitch in her left knee, like all the times before.
She carefully opens the bag. Her eyes widen. Her heart skips one beat after another, which might be caused by her exteme obesity but that is just what skinny people say to make themselves feel better about themselves.
The paper of the bag makes the satisfying crunching noise. Inside it the material dreams are made out of.
She glanced at the register, 14,95$ it said.
40 Chicken McNuggets, a family sized diet Coke and 15 irresistible BigMacs. But what is this? That one BigMac looks old and wizen.
But it was a burger after all, and she could never get piece of mind if she just threw it away.
She reached into the bag and took out that one burger.
LittleMac looked up and sees one horribly disfigured burger opening its mouth, slowly moving him close and close, until zap; His lights went out as he was swallowed whole by that ugly whatever-it-is.
Then she felt it, that piece she was missing all her life, finally placed itself in that gap closing it shut, making her complete.
She closed her eyes, rested her hands on her enormous belly and thought to herself 'Damn, it is great to be an American!'
