That is a pity you guys are 'friends'. I try to be friends with everyone in this game, but I have always been more than happy to attack anyone.
My friends include JayJrod, who betrayed me and gave Yruma castle to the enemy, Albus, who was the first to desert me when Eques came, James, whom everyone hates yet I always liked despite the fact that me showing mercy on him and his faction cost me the war, Dutchy who said we were buds forever yet coordinated attacks against me with the Wardens of the North, and Thalion, who always told me to 'go fuck myself (not in those terms) when I claimed High Kingship over the North, plus Bonesaw, who ordered an attack on me cuz I was bored of being a troop breeder and wanted to actually move in strat... oh, and Sanderson, who let me hide in his village despite the risk of G-Force using that as an excuse to invade...
I like to think I am friends with everyone... but I will attack anyone despite being friends. I left Acre and merced for the Squids, yet James and I remained friends. I sent my 13Kers to take most of Black Companies lands and I remained friends with them. I told my people to attack Dutchy, but we always enjoyed our drunken conversations on TS. James, who I attacked when Acre was at its weakest and eventually conquered still remained my friend despite me seriously limiting his strength, and stayed my friend when I put him on the stand for treason. SJimmy remained my friend, despite his elevation in the KotN then betrayal to me. Even Blackbird, the Euro who came with 60K shiny troops and brought back 50 vs 50 strat sieges and then totally crushed my empire, I was friends with him too.
So forgive me if I do not understand you. I have friends too. Jack_1 gave me gear, and I used it to conquer his faction. Biggest asshole move in Strat, yet we remained friends. If being submissive and sticking out your hindquarters to your buds is friendship, then maybe I got it wrong.
If attacking armies then later having a good natured chat about the battle after in TS with your Strat enemies is friendship, then I understand. I still kinda think Strat is a game to be played, but I, and everyone else I get along with, knows its just a game to have a little fun with. We play to win, but we don't make pinkie promises to support each other and suck shit up cuz we just want to be on the winning team.
We play like medieval warlords, and, rather than get butthurt, enjoy the challenge when our dear, dear friends attack us*.
*OK,I GTX when Dutchy and sJimmy rebelled, but I've always regretted that. But at least I stayed friends with them.