Your ideal home?

[Leshma]

Living in a flat (apartment for you illiterate rebels). Hate it. Hate my neighbors, not because they are especially vicious people (some of them truly are) but because of the very fact they live so near. Above me, left from me right from me. It is very definition of hell on Earth, for someone like me who suffers from agoraphobia. Made up illness used to explain people who hate being surrounded by a crowd. No panic attacks, just hate bunch of other people being so near me. Apocalypse can't come soon enough...

Small introduction, now back to topic. My ideal home is some fricking unpopulated area near Murican-Canadian border, but close enough to some bigger settlement. My fucking property, acres and acres of my own land. Forests, rivers, ponds, waterfall, what not. Like what that fucker has in Ex Machina. Private heli or jet. Awesome shit like that. Water around my huge castle-fotress kind of house. Doesn't have to be pretty, not looking for a Disney castle. Has to be huge. Bellow everything are tunnels, deep bellow. Net of tunnels. Bellow grazing grounds (need my own organic food yo) will be heaters so I can have gardens and cattle chewing whole goddamn year. In your face Mr Winter! Now the most important part. Everything bar house is a decoy. Bellow house it four times house deep. House is fricking spaceship, ready for evacuation when other rich assholes decide it is time for us fine gentleman to leave this rock. Sci-fi wish would be dome shaped barrier from Gothic games, around my whole property. Nothing can pass if I want it that way. Shame it isn't possible...

Yours?

[Butan]

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[Leshma]

Already decorated with finest art of those old masters or you want to decorate it yourself?

[Casul]

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[Gurgumul]

Small introduction, now back to topic. My ideal home is some fricking unpopulated area near Murican-Canadian border, but close enough to some bigger settlement. My fucking property, acres and acres of my own land. Forests, rivers, ponds, waterfall, what not. Like what that fucker has in Ex Machina. Private heli or jet. Awesome shit like that. Water around my huge castle-fotress kind of house. Doesn't have to be pretty, not looking for a Disney castle. Has to be huge. Bellow everything are tunnels, deep bellow. Net of tunnels. Bellow grazing grounds (need my own organic food yo) will be heaters so I can have gardens and cattle chewing whole goddamn year. In your face Mr Winter! Now the most important part. Everything bar house is a decoy. Bellow house it four times house deep. House is fricking spaceship, ready for evacuation when other rich assholes decide it is time for us fine gentleman to leave this rock. Sci-fi wish would be dome shaped barrier from Gothic games, around my whole property. Nothing can pass if I want it that way. Shame it isn't possible...

Sounds like a Minecraft player's wet dream lol.

Mine is just some small house, the building itself doesn't matter much. Next to it must be either garages, or a hangar to store cars, preferably heated and already equipped with all kinds of fancy machines and tools to work on metal. Around the thing are racing tracks, rally tracks, mountain passes etc. Everything all to myself of course, so that I don't have to share with those pesky peasants 

[Daunt_Flockula]

Living in a flat (apartment for you illiterate rebels). Hate it. Hate my neighbors, not because they are especially vicious people (some of them truly are) but because of the very fact they live so near. Above me, left from me right from me. It is very definition of hell on Earth, for someone like me who suffers from agoraphobia. Made up illness used to explain people who hate being surrounded by a crowd. No panic attacks, just hate bunch of other people being so near me. Apocalypse can't come soon enough...

I can understand the frustration. I have this crazy bitch adjacent to my living room who with her astoundingly high-pitched ugly voice cannot stop scolding her 2 sons. Driving me crazy. I mean you have got to be tired of yanking your throat out at least 3-4 times every single fucking day.

Adjacent to my bedroom, there is this young conservative Muslim couple who have just had a baby. And they have these 2 stupid recorded music tracks (guess they are toys with buttons on them, playing the same shit over and over again when you press the darned buttons), which they might start playing in the middle of the night or at the earliest time of the morning possible. They seem to know no other way of making an agitated baby sleep.

Upstairs are my landlord and his family. And boy they never fucking stop having visitors. Quite unexpectedly (considering these too are conservative Muslims), they are not early sleepers. They will laugh and wallow like tickled zebras till around 2 am most days. I suspect they might be having orgies or something up there.

These aside, the stairway of the building is always crowded. There is always some idiot, and mostly several of them, going in and out of one of the flats and never giving a fuck about how loud they might be speaking at any given time of the day. The traffic goes on till early morning by the way.

On top of it, I live very close to a mosque. It is pretty much impossible to find a flat that is not so unfortunately situated in İstanbul anyway. I guess there is no need to talk about how the imam is raping our ears all the time. And this one mosque in particular seems to have cranked up the volume.


All things considered, my dream home should be as far as possible from the general population and any source of constant noise. Ideally surrounded by greens and forests, but not in savage wilderness.

[Falka]

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Yeah, sth like that would do.

[Asheram]

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http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/21st-century-cavemen-30-million-chinese-live-in-caves.html
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[pogosan]

[Malaclypse]

A giant, gaping butthole.

[Armpit_Sweat]

Mkey, let's see...

I want this block next to Nørreport:

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I will tear it all down. Everything. Put a 5 meter tall metal spiked fence around it, something fancy looking though, similar to what they have around 18th century palaces. Humongous golden gate. A deep and wide moat goes all around on the inside of the fence. All sorts of huge exotic trees are planted throughout the whole area, like the ones they have in Vester Kirkegård. Cats. The largest cat sanctuary in the Scandinavia. Specially trained cat-keepers are tending to their needs round the clock.

K, now for my own quarters. A single spiral 200m tall tower in the middle of the Cat Garden. Red brick, bronze and 24-hour automatic multi-color illumination. No windows. A huge marble circular balcony on the very top of the tower. Every morning i step out on the balcony, wearing nothing but boxershorts and socks of two different colors, possibly with toe holes. All the lights would automatically focus on me, and I would scream in the top of my lungs using a powerful megaphone: "Here kitty kitty kitty, Heeeeeere KITTY KITTY!!!". I would then empty a 5kg bag of "Dreamies" cat snacks down from the balcony, different flavor for each day of the week.

I'm not picky about the inner arrangement of the tower. Wooden floors, walls painted white, dim artificial light, cat trees of most peculiar configuration everywhere. Master bedroom with a 3x3m rotating bed and top quality speakers concealed in the walls - nothing else. Servants should never be visible, all but one - a midget valet will follow me everywhere, and I will address the staff through him. Yes, there will be an artificially maintained temperature of 18C inside the tower year-round, so i will be wearing a very long snuggy, and my valet would be holding the end of it, walking behind me around the tower.

That would be the main features. The rest is all simple, like in any other rich house - a wine cellar, a small underground swimming pool, a gym, a bar, a movie thereat / video gaming room, etc.

[WITCHCRAFT]

http://www.silohome.com/ (lots of pictures but they are small)

1962 Atlas F missile silo converted into underground lair house. Swanky cabin-style above-ground bits, underground bits are apocalypse proof with shit like a 2000lb blast door. And the best part:

Most of the location for these sites are away from mass populated areas so any enemy attack would not endanger people

It's in the middle of fucking nowhere, deep woods. No more people. Just peace and quiet. And your James Bond villain lair. Air strip included so you can return to civilization now and then.

[Murmillus_Prime]

Living in a flat (apartment for you illiterate rebels). Hate it. Hate my neighbors, not because they are especially vicious people (some of them truly are) but because of the very fact they live so near. Above me, left from me right from me. It is very definition of hell on Earth, for someone like me who suffers from agoraphobia. Made up illness used to explain people who hate being surrounded by a crowd. No panic attacks, just hate bunch of other people being so near me. Apocalypse can't come soon enough...

Small introduction, now back to topic. My ideal home is some fricking unpopulated area near Murican-Canadian border, but close enough to some bigger settlement. My fucking property, acres and acres of my own land. Forests, rivers, ponds, waterfall, what not. Like what that fucker has in Ex Machina. Private heli or jet. Awesome shit like that. Water around my huge castle-fotress kind of house. Doesn't have to be pretty, not looking for a Disney castle. Has to be huge. Bellow everything are tunnels, deep bellow. Net of tunnels. Bellow grazing grounds (need my own organic food yo) will be heaters so I can have gardens and cattle chewing whole goddamn year. In your face Mr Winter! Now the most important part. Everything bar house is a decoy. Bellow house it four times house deep. House is fricking spaceship, ready for evacuation when other rich assholes decide it is time for us fine gentleman to leave this rock. Sci-fi wish would be dome shaped barrier from Gothic games, around my whole property. Nothing can pass if I want it that way. Shame it isn't possible...

Yours?

Similarly I'd love a house with plenty of land out in or nearby open countryside. Countryside with woods and plains teeming with wildlife and game and maybe even a stream flowing through it. I'd love to grow my own food and cannabis outside in large greenhouses, rear chickens and collect their eggs and every now and then let some mate with a cock and have chicken for dinner. Also I'd go on hunting trips now and then for my meat staple which would probably be small game like squirrels, rabbits ect. I would take up archery, crafts, carpentry and fishing to pass the time, while stoned of course. I'd also probably grow truffles and mushrooms along with the vegetables and cannabis.

[Son Of Odin]

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Yeah, sth like that would do.

"Oh, no...a coffin would be way too nice
Oh, no...a see-through plastic bag will do just fine"

[sF_Guardian]

Probably a tent placed at the shore of a sea. Not in Winter though, would need something else for that.

Would sleep outside if any possible anyways. Theres nothing better than looking at the stars while a slight breeze touches your skin and carries over the smell of your dieing campfire.
(Except a bath and hot coffee in the morning )