as u all know king james was robbed in the dominican republic a while ago
but hes never talked about the full story until today, when he bared all about what exactly happened down there
u can read his testimonial for urself:
"I was down in the Dominican Republic to hang out with the fish. I really love fish. My favorite is the salmon. They are such powerful creatures. One time I spent 5 hours submerged in a river in Alaska, completely naked, waiting for a salmon to spawn inside me. The sight of the mighty fish swimming upstream, slapping the waves with their powerful, muscular tails made me crazy. I wanted a strong, hunky salmon to swim inside me and spawn in my asshole. The experience was extremely arousing; I must have fertilized hundreds of eggs while I was in there. The thought of a salmon running around with my spawn inside of it spurred me on even further. After 5 hours with no luck, it was time for me to go. I got frostbite on all of my extremities as a result. It was still worth it to be so close to such an erotic display of raw power and sexual energy. I had to have all of my limbs amputated afterwards. Now, I cannot walk without the help of a prototype hydraulic exoskeleton. I spent half a year recovering from several amputations. Although my body was in the hospital, my mind was out in the deep blue seas, letting everything go and playing with the fishies without a care in the world. One day when the doctor came in to check on me, I made a strange request. 'Hey doc,' I said. 'What is it James?' he replied. 'Well... I've been thinking. Even though I almost perished in the frigid waters of the Yukon, I still want more. My heart yearns to become one with the open sea. There is only one way to do that. I need gills.' I said. The doctor completely understood, for he also was fascinated by fish. He managed to perform highly invasive surgery that left me with a pair of gills. I could now breathe underwater. However, I now have to wear a fish bowl over my head because prolonged exposure to the air will kill me. After I finished recovering from the surgery, I knew what I wanted to do. A couple of fellow fish lovers had told me that I just HAD to go to the Dominican Republic. So I went. When I checked into the hotel, the desk clerk warned me that there had been a string of robberies in the area. He said it would be best to not leave the room unattended and to be extra careful with any valuable possessions. His warning troubled me a bit, but any anxiety I had was overpowered by my burning desire for fish love. I had to leave my valuables in my room when I went to the beach. I plunged into the deep blue waters early in the morning and did not emerge until long after the sun had set. When I got back to my room, I could not find my wallet. This was bad news because I had my passport in there. As a result, my return to the U.S. was delayed significantly. My laptop had been stolen too, so there was no way to tell my c-rpg clan that I would not be able to make it to that strat battle that night. When I finally got back, I discovered that I was no longer in the clan. And that is the story of how I got kicked from teutonic after getting robbed in the dominican republic."
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