A declaration of war

[Bronto]

Aw fuck. RP bonuses?

As GrandTaser of Tasa Clan, I will assassinate you and your people before the unholiness of your RP bonuses can affect the yet to occur slapfights we call a war.

That was the spark I needed to motivate my troops. Tasers and Dinosaurs shall once again rule the earth, just like prehistoric times!

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[Bryggan]

I've tried to trade it actually with HoC but Jona (*ahem*) just doesn't want the best castle ever held by a Taser. Doubt anyone else would want it surrounded by HoC. HoC is cuddly and all that but most people, not tasers of course, might be concerned to be surrounded on all sides by green hounds.

I don't mind waiting until strat is fixed (lol) or rping with dice rolls to see who wins. Not sure how to set that up tho because my army isn't pissed. Not sure what bonuses to dice rolls I get with an all taser army.

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I definitely don't want a castle surrounded by the Hounds.  A fine faction and all, but their barking keeps me up at night, plus every time I try travel through their lands they are always running up to me and jamming their noses in my crotch.

But as far as battles go, we can not forget the influence of the forum wars.  Shit posts and gifs should have a strong influence on the outcome of the battle.

(click to show/hide)

Brigandius reclined on his couch in his sumptuous villa, considering the military position of the state while a young slave girl attended to his, er, needs.  It helped him concentrate.  On the other side of the room NSIVulva was having her needs met by a tongue trained eunuch.   "Oh honey, when are we going to attack someone," she asked, a small moan escaping her lips.

"Not quite yet," Brigandius answered, "we need more long winded RP to get our troops morale up.  We really need those bonus points."

"Surely you've been long winded enough to get our dice rolls fighting fit by now," she said.

"I'm afraid not," he said, "they are countering with shit posts.  Every time they call me a whiner, a care bear, or a trading simulator player our troops lose morale.  Plus they started a new offensive saying I am and idiot for attacking too many people and a loser for not attacking enough.  So I am afraid that while we hold the upper hand in RP, we just don't have the shit posting skills required."

"Perhaps you could enlist VonCrow on our side.  His posts always inspire depression and anger."

"A very good idea, my dear.  But until then I shall just be as long winded as I can.  By now most of the forumites have stopped reading by now, so I'll just use filler to make this RP even more long winded.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

[Jona]

I definitely don't want a castle surrounded by the Hounds.  A fine faction and all, but their barking keeps me up at night, plus every time I try travel through their lands they are always running up to me and jamming their noses in my crotch.

But as far as battles go, we can not forget the influence of the forum wars.  Shit posts and gifs should have a strong influence on the outcome of the battle.

(click to show/hide)

Brigandius reclined on his couch in his sumptuous villa, considering the military position of the state while a young slave girl attended to his, er, needs.  It helped him concentrate.  On the other side of the room NSIVulva was having her needs met by a tongue trained eunuch.   "Oh honey, when are we going to attack someone," she asked, a small moan escaping her lips.

"Not quite yet," Brigandius answered, "we need more long winded RP to get our troops morale up.  We really need those bonus points."

"Surely you've been long winded enough to get our dice rolls fighting fit by now," she said.

"I'm afraid not," he said, "they are countering with shit posts.  Every time they call me a whiner, a care bear, or a trading simulator player our troops lose morale.  Plus they started a new offensive saying I am and idiot for attacking too many people and a loser for not attacking enough.  So I am afraid that while we hold the upper hand in RP, we just don't have the shit posting skills required."

"Perhaps you could enlist VonCrow on our side.  His posts always inspire depression and anger."

"A very good idea, my dear.  But until then I shall just be as long winded as I can.  By now most of the forumites have stopped reading by now, so I'll just use filler to make this RP even more long winded.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

What ever happened to "Fuck italics?" 

[Bryggan]

I didn't want my personal beliefs to interfere with the chance of a plus 1 on the roll.

[Jona]

I didn't want my personal beliefs to interfere with the chance of a plus 1 on the roll.

Good call.

[Bryggan]

11 days since the last post in diplomacy... Even I will concede... strat is indeed dead.  RIP, your rotten, frustrating game.

[Bryggan]

Ok, out of sheer boredom I feel the need to attack.  If my army gets trapped, so be it, if not... huh, wow.  Maybe my side will have 5 to the enemy's 3.  But I cannot sit with shiny troops annoying the hell out of me.  So I choose Tilbault.  I helped defend it, and I merced for the attackers a few times.  Thing is, that castle is a bitch.  So while I love Astralis, and think all their members are awesome, I believe Tilbault is a prize worth pissing them off for.  And, even if no one shows up for the defense (should the attack actually happen), and I actually take it, I will still act cocky and proud as if I actually fought a 50 vs 50 battle.

So, please sign for me in the off chance this battle will happen.  Astralis members, please use a pseudonym when you fight for my side to avoid awkwardness later.  I'll give them a day or two to consider surrender (which would be awesome, as I could then waste my troops elsewhere), and then I will attack.  Cuz I'm bored.  And, if I'm gonna be stuck in this Strat limbo, I'd rather it be fighting than trading.

So yeah.  Astralis it is.  I know you guys love a good fight, and I'll try bring one to you.

Cheers.

[StonedSteel]

"strat is indeed dead"  bryggan ( then goes on to attack something)
"I'd rather it be fighting than trading." bryggan ( thats a good one)
"Astralis it is.  I know you guys love a good fight" bryggan ( even better than the last joke )

^

lol
lol
and LOL

you're a funny lad brygg.

[Lt_Anders]

OH shit!

I...actually have to do something? Damn.

[Bryggan]

sux to be you.

Imagien if this fight actually worked.

[Bryggan]

"strat is indeed dead"  bryggan ( then goes on to attack something)
"I'd rather it be fighting than trading." bryggan ( thats a good one)
"Astralis it is.  I know you guys love a good fight" bryggan ( even better than the last joke )


"Imagine"

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no factions
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

[Bryggan]

ok, battacted.  Sure to lose all troops.  Potnentiall seeking new game, but  a little bitter about the futility of going on...

[Bryggan]

ok, battacted.  Sure to lose all troops.  Potnentiall seeking new game, but  a little bitter about the futility of going on...
[/quoteda fauz. was meant for antiother game.  Meh, we all know....

[Tristan_of_Erzoth]

Bryggan how drunk are you rn

[poonerplox2]

He quadruple posted, this may be a new level that only lived on in dreams. Is there still a man named bryggan any more?