9001 straw hats
SOLD!!!!!!!!!!! pm me for my shipping address (I prefer using UPS to ship). They must be adult sized, wide brimmed, and hand woven (none of that assembly line/manufactured crap.) I also expect them to have hang tags (no used junk.) Upon receipt I will transfer your virtual Destrier to your virtual c-rpg account. Please don't renege on this deal, I have a buyer lined up and he knows people if you know what I mean (and I like my fingers and toes.)
If only everybody else would have offered a jar of heirloomed KY jelly with their generous offers I might have accepted that instead... then I wouldn't have to worry about risking my body parts over this impending surplus of straw hats I'm hawking to some nefarious character down at the docks.