I hadn't thought of that taking it in a fair fight seems the more honorable lordly thing to do.
Well, for the most part, diplomacy is the more lordly/honorable thing to do in this game. But a fair, balanced, and expected war can also be lordly/honorable.
So in other words, raiding a friends fief and unleashing hell upon them without warning and then ninjaing the rosters is a really dicky thing to do, and thats how you make lots of enemies. So just don't do that
But this actually seems like a fun battle, wish I were around at that time today