Widespread Virginity Threatens PC Master Race With Extinction

[Leshma]

Experts on rare and threatened species have announced today that the master race of PC gamers have joined the endangered species list due to widespread virginity wreaking havoc on their population. Quite often when a new species joins the endangerment list it’s due to manmade environmental problems, but in this case their habitats are only part of the issue. “With the majority of PC gamers taking residence in their parents’ basements — many of them well into adulthood — they are often seen as undesirable to potential partners,” said  International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) gaming specialist Hassan Moussaka. “Of course, the neckbeards don’t help either.”

The lack of sex hasn’t always been the foremost threat to PC gamers. In decades past they made up for their virginity by engaging in several taboo pornography kinks, satisfying their carnal needs but not contributing to the survival of their race. Now, as the first generation of pretentious PC gamers begins to age past their potency, the fate of the species as a whole rests on the younger gamers in the community. Sadly, all evidence suggests they are content comparing graphics cards and masturbating to hentai instead of attempting to procreate.

The most damning part of all, according to Moussaka, is the failures of even those who try to seek out partners. “On one hand you have an entire sect of their community who wants nothing to do with sexual relationships, and on the other you have those who try but fail mightily because of their complete lack of social skills, fashion sense, and personal hygiene.” Much like lemurs, armadillos, and sloths, PC gamers are projected to go completely extinct within the next two generations if nothing is done to combat these issues.

Advocates for PC gamers, such as NewEgg and Valve, have put forth their own initiatives to assist the community in not just surviving, but thriving. The Valve spring sale promises to include a personal grooming kit with every purchase totaling more than $20. CEO of Valve, Gabe Newell, urges others to gift Steam games to their reluctant master race friends or family. However, only time will tell if these initiatives affect the population numbers in any real way.

“What we can’t have is these gamers remaining secluded from the rest of the gaming community,” Moussaka warns. “If they refuse to integrate themselves, we will undoubtedly watch their population dwindle until they are mentioned alongside Sloth Bears and Dwarf Hippos as the latest tragic extinction brought on by the hubris of man.”

http://vgmmdi.com/widespread-virginity-threatens-pc-master-race-with-extinction/

Discuss.

[Gravoth_iii]

I forgot how to read 

[Kalam]

Some old jokes are old because they're no longer effective.

This is missing scat, piss, and some far-out perversion.

[IR_Kuoin]

I got cancer reading the comments ...

[Gravoth_iii]

I got cancer reading the comments ...

I like reading comments on the internets, i like the cancer.

[Algarn]

This made my day, haha 

Advocates for PC gamers, such as NewEgg and Valve, have put forth their own initiatives to assist the community in not just surviving, but thriving. The Valve spring sale promises to include a personal grooming kit with every purchase totaling more than $20. CEO of Valve, Gabe Newell, urges others to gift Steam games to their reluctant master race friends or family. However, only time will tell if these initiatives affect the population numbers in any real way.

[Leshma]

Some old jokes are old because they're no longer effective.

This is missing scat, piss, and some far-out perversion.

It's not a joke, it is perfect explanation for behavior of 60% of active EU cRPG community. Those people have no families, have no friends, have nothing so they need virtual hugs and chit-chat instead of playing the game.

[Swaggart]

It's not a joke, it is perfect explanation for behavior of 60% of active EU cRPG community. Those people have no families, have no friends, have nothing so they need virtual hugs and chit-chat instead of playing the game.

Yeah that must be it. Good job.

[Armpit_Sweat]

It's not a joke, it is perfect explanation for behavior of 60% of active EU cRPG community. Those people have no families, have no friends, have nothing so they need virtual hugs and chit-chat instead of playing the game.

visitors can't see pics , please register or login

[Umbra]

It's not a joke, it is perfect explanation for behavior of 60% of active EU cRPG community. Those people have no families, have no friends, have nothing so they need virtual hugs and chit-chat instead of playing the game.

Projecting 

[Vibe]

It's not a joke, it is perfect explanation for behavior of 60% of active EU cRPG community. Those people have no families, have no friends, have nothing so they need virtual hugs and chit-chat instead of playing the game.

visitors can't see pics , please register or login

[Tore]

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1fD5JbpvjzL

[Nightmare798]

http://vgmmdi.com/widespread-virginity-threatens-pc-master-race-with-extinction/

Discuss.

That basement dweller thing needs to go away. Take me for example, I am 20 years old, have well paying (albeit manual) job, and I live with my parents, only because rents in our country are ridiculously high, Yet I still use plenty of my time for gaming. It is a hobby, same as any other like movies, books, sports and so on. Very few people live like your post describes, in fact most of my friends who game activelly have girlfriends. Heck even I did have several (last time I had to break it off, long distance relationship never works), so What most people Imagine under gamers, even those who dedicate most of their time to their hobby, is utter bullshit, and in fact those people need to go out and inerract with those people.

[Moncho]

You guys ever heard of stereotypes? Ofc you are not that bad gamer stereotype, same as you are not a fat hurdurdurring gunwielding electric wheelchair murican or an almost inhuman german machine of efficiency, or a lazy spaniard (oh wait), etc

But hey, way to fall for the bad troll (and inb4 way for me to fall to the bad troll reaction to the bad troll, etc)

[Leesin]

Don't worry Leshma, I have a son to take my place as a PC master race gamer, though I am not sure if he will buy Elite:Dangerous.