The fine art of team killing

[Penitent]

Had to dig up this gem post from waaay back in 2011.

Back when the mod had a more -- shall we say -- colorful charm to it.
In the beginners help and guides section!

http://forum.melee.org/beginner's-help-and-guides/the-fine-art-of-teamkilling/msg53404/#msg53404

[SirCymro_Crusader]

It wasn't written by a kapikulu so unfortunately I cannot learn from someone who has not mastered the true meaning of kapikuluing

[YnScN]

It wasn't written by a kapikulu so unfortunately I cannot learn from someone who has not mastered the true meaning of kapikuluing

We're very secretive on our ancient methods of teamkilling, we do not offer to teach that methods to an outsider.

[SirCymro_Crusader]

Teach me master! Teach me your secrets of how to excel at hindering your teammates, what art requires you to possess such a unique set of skills that turns your allies into meaningless lumps of meat fit for the slaughter. Master, teach me!

(click to show/hide)

Finally a Kapikulu with a sense of humour, respect YnScN!

[YnScN]

Teach me master! Teach me your secrets of how to excel at hindering your teammates, what art requires you to possess such a unique set of skills that turns your allies into meaningless lumps of meat fit for the slaughter. Master, teach me!

(click to show/hide)

Finally a Kapikulu with a sense of humour, respect YnScN!

I'll translate some sentences from the "Introduction to Team Killing", It was written by an ancient player and a hard copy can be found at our archives:

One who's going to seek the path of team killing, has to understand what is a team. You have to think like your allies, you have to be one with them. You have to put your soul inside of their bodies. When you understood them correctly you'll know what hurts them most and how you should execute the final blow.

Never forget, each blow counts. When your teammate is about to block, a friendly poke with a pike can deliver him into seven pits of hell.

Even if you're outnumbered by your enemies don't fall into despair! There are still possibilities out there for you to make a team kill.

Neither should you feel shame for your actions, nor should you say "sorry". They'll just think that you're careless and rude, they wouldn't be suspicious about your inner thoughts.

You should always try new ways, broaden your vision about team killing. And always keep the soul of an amateur, but the knowledge of a professional.

(click to show/hide)

Actually most of my clan mates have a good sense of humor but they just don't show it to the rest of the community due to language barriers

[Penitent]

Hahaha!  That is pretty hilarious.

[ecorcheur_brokar]

hahaha Cool post but a bit too soft for me, and not really fitting the reality of the battlefield. I would add:


The thrower
   Equipment: any throwing weapon ( but throwing lance would be the best)
   Playstyle: Wait for your victim to be engaged in melee (preferably in a duel), then proceed to throw (ofc aim for the head), if it doesn't kill him, you ll still have interpted him. The best is to sneak from behind the enemy, making your ally believe that you will help him in melee but at the very last moment instead of going in melee, throw your weapon on your ally
   Perks: High damage, your victim will probably die soon after if you didn't manage to finish him yourself
   Issues: Sometimes hard to aim and you could actually help your victim

The Pepe
   Equipment: stakes
   Playstyle: Once a part of your team has engaged the enemy throw your stacks in their back. Blocking any reinforcement to come and blocking their retreat. The enemy team will take great pleasure in the slaughter of this small isolated pack.
   Perks: Indirect tk, you can not be hold for responsible.
   Issues: None (indirect tk, maybe less rewarding???)

The premature
   Equipment: any
   Playstyle: At the very beginning of the round, at the spawn, swing randomly. If you're a cav, bump everyone (focus the agi)
   Perks: Th can be done to a lot of people due to their concentration at the spawn. You can accuse a bug.
   Issues: Ban request can follow if you use to much of this technique

The "Oh look a peny!"
   Equipment: Melee weapon
   Playstyle: When a horseman is demounted, wait for your allies to try to finish him and then swing randomly.
   Perks: Very common, you risk no ban
   Issues: This technique can easily backfire, as many people practice it

[Sandersson Jankins]

hahaha Cool post but a bit too soft for me, and not really fitting the reality of the battlefield. I would add:


The Pepe
   Equipment: stakes
   Playstyle: Once a part of your team has engaged the enemy throw your stacks in their back. Blocking any reinforcement to come and blocking their retreat. The enemy team will take great pleasure in the slaughter of this small isolated pack.
   Perks: Indirect tk, you can not be hold for responsible.
   Issues: None (indirect tk, maybe less rewarding???)

Oh god I get so infuriated at this in NA1 when people think they're being super tacticool and helpful by throwing stakes down but they just get me fucked

[SirCymro_Crusader]

I'll translate some sentences from the "Introduction to Team Killing", It was written by an ancient player and a hard copy can be found at our archives:

One who's going to seek the path of team killing, has to understand what is a team. You have to think like your allies, you have to be one with them. You have to put your soul inside of their bodies. When you understood them correctly you'll know what hurts them most and how you should execute the final blow.

Never forget, each blow counts. When your teammate is about to block, a friendly poke with a pike can deliver him into seven pits of hell.

Even if you're outnumbered by your enemies don't fall into despair! There are still possibilities out there for you to make a team kill.

Neither should you feel shame for your actions, nor should you say "sorry". They'll just think that you're careless and rude, they wouldn't be suspicious about your inner thoughts.

You should always try new ways, broaden your vision about team killing. And always keep the soul of an amateur, but the knowledge of a professional.

(click to show/hide)

Actually most of my clan mates have a good sense of humor but they just don't show it to the rest of the community due to language barriers

Thank you master. I shall heed your advise and uphold the honour of kapikuluing upon the battlefield. May I never dishonour the creed of the kapikulu

[//saxon]

And always keep the soul Skill of an amateur, but the knowledge of a professional.

 

[Kafein]

Denying the last hits on peasants.

[Kadeth]

[Johammeth]

"Kill 'em all and let Mod sort it out."

[Sniger]

when kapikuluing you just make people go panos and eventually gtx = less people to grief. its kinda like pissing yourself, its warm in the beginning but then it gets very cold

[woody]

Yeah its funny.

Can I add the polite penitent? It goes without saying I have never done this, on my word of honour as a Frenchman.

   Equipment: any
   Playstyle: Someone has to be a total arse, preferably teamhitting frequently through not giving a shit. After the 5th time hes teamhit you in 5 mins make sure you type "no problem mate" every time he hits you. Then kill the fucker so quickly he can only report once. Then apologise profusely. Such comments as "to be fair probably deserved a report it was a bit careless" cant go amiss. Repeat at spaced intervals as long as it amuses you. Remember to apologise more abjectly and profusely every time.
   Perks: Satisfaction from holy vengeance. Amusement from your friendly words masking evil intent, especially if he starts raging other players will start warning him for his unreasonable behaviour. Unless hes quick with screen shots unlikely to get banned, even so your penitent words in chat may save you or if you only hit him 1-2 times to kill wont look too bad.
   Issues: Cant do too often. Reserve for total arseholes. Doesnt work on tanks getting reported 5 times is a bit of a giveaway. If hes videod you get lengthy ban presumably.