A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS

[imisshotmail]

I bring a message from the Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe, the Godfather of the GFORCE, the Catastrophe of Napoli.

I am gravely disappointed.
You have made me unleash my soldatos.
Look at what remains of your gallant Goretooth.
Why? Because you're greedy!
You attack us for our crates.

Now, my sources say.
You plan to run us out of the desert.
You sent troops out this morning to find our soldiers.
With an army big enough to "wipe them out".
What a puny plan!
Look around you.
This is the Valley of Death.
See!
Nothing can escape! Giuseppe rules the Desert!
Giuseppe will not be defied!

But we are reasonable men.
We're posting this here for a purpose.
We come with an offer.

There has been too much violence, too much pain in past Strategus'.
None here are without sin.
But I have an honorable compromise.
Just walk away.
Let me have the fiefs.
the goods
the troops
and the whole area, and I'll spare your lives.

Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the desert.
Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.
I await your answer.
You have one full day to decide.

Giuseppe.

[mcdeath]

I just got off the phone with Ecko and he said that he is coming back to kill off all of these hosp spergs that think they can have the desert. The Northern Empire is to stay in the north and nowhere else. Go back to the steppes where we can all forget about you as you slowly become irrelevant again just like every other strat.

[protox2k]

zzzzzz

plz guys it's just strat...

[Goretooth]

I bring a message from the Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe, the Godfather of the GFORCE, the Catastrophe of Napoli.

I am gravely disappointed.
You have made me unleash my soldatos.
Look at what remains of your gallant Goretooth.
Why? Because you're greedy!
You attack us for our crates.

Now, my sources say.
You plan to run us out of the desert.
You sent troops out this morning to find our soldiers.
With an army big enough to "wipe them out".
What a puny plan!
Look around you.
This is the Valley of Death.
See!
Nothing can escape! Giuseppe rules the Desert!
Giuseppe will not be defied!

But we are reasonable men.
We're posting this here for a purpose.
We come with an offer.

There has been too much violence, too much pain in past Strategus'.
None here are without sin.
But I have an honorable compromise.
Just walk away.
Let me have the fiefs.
the goods
the troops
and the whole area, and I'll spare your lives.

Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the desert.
Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.
I await your answer.
You have one full day to decide.

Giuseppe.

Sounds like you don't want to fight more battles. I do and there is my offer.

[MountedRhader]

I bring a message from the Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe, the Godfather of the GFORCE, the Catastrophe of Napoli.

I am gravely disappointed.
You have made me unleash my soldatos.
Look at what remains of your gallant Goretooth.
Why? Because you're greedy!
You attack us for our crates.

Now, my sources say.
You plan to run us out of the desert.
You sent troops out this morning to find our soldiers.
With an army big enough to "wipe them out".
What a puny plan!
Look around you.
This is the Valley of Death.
See!
Nothing can escape! Giuseppe rules the Desert!
Giuseppe will not be defied!

But we are reasonable men.
We're posting this here for a purpose.
We come with an offer.

There has been too much violence, too much pain in past Strategus'.
None here are without sin.
But I have an honorable compromise.
Just walk away.
Let me have the fiefs.
the goods
the troops
and the whole area, and I'll spare your lives.

Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the desert.
Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.
I await your answer.
You have one full day to decide.

Giuseppe.

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[Tydeus]

I realize you don't like me Goretooth, and that's fine, but don't you think it's time to give this grudge up? Any time you attack me when the odds are even remotely fair and shit doesn't go wrong, you get decimated. Even had I not been reinforced, considering the fact that we got a 2:1 k:d, I would have won.

It's time to move on, there's no reason to bring Hospitaller down with you.

(click to show/hide)

inb4 comments about a bugged strat battle with shit mechanics that happened 3 years ago.

[Jona]

All I really got outa that was:

Please don't fight us in this war game.

Giuseppe.

[Sandersson Jankins]

motherfuckers disrespecting the godfather need to check themselves before they shrek themselves

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[imisshotmail]

All I really got outa that was:

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[Goretooth]

I realize you don't like me Goretooth, and that's fine, but don't you think it's time to give this grudge up? Any time you attack me when the odds are even remotely fair and shit doesn't go wrong, you get decimated. Even had I not been reinforced, considering the fact that we got a 2:1 k:d, I would have won.

It's time to move on, there's no reason to bring Hospitaller down with you.

(click to show/hide)

inb4 comments about a bugged strat battle with shit mechanics that happened 3 years ago.

Why not keep fighting? I will and it will be fun.

[Tydeus]

[Goretooth]

Because I'm just a friendly neighborhood trader that has no intention of taking fiefs or going on some sort of crusade. I plan to do the same thing I did last strat, get 2 MWs for selling my army.

pretty lame tydeus but should be fun attacking you all strat.
I don't understand all the QQ you won the battle today? i say we keep fighting.

[loleznub]

I bring a message from the Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe, the Godfather of the GFORCE, the Catastrophe of Napoli.
message from the Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe
Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe
Gypsy

The Hospitaller Court Jester, Loleznub, dances forward in circles while singing.


"A Gypsy?  In Jerusalem?!  This surely is a Catastrophe!" 

The Jester turns and prances along back the way he came only to return with a table and a chair.  In his second trip back he brings back a board game, "Alquerques"

"If I win, you must swear vassalage to myself and do the bidding of my will, as should all Musli- Err Gypsys's!  Should I lose, well that won't be happening so we shouldn't worry about that.."

If Loleznub wins:

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The Gypsy's swear vassalage for no less than 10 months to Loleznub.

If Loleznub loses:

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The Jester Loleznub shoots his hand crossbow underneath the table in good sport.

If the game is refused/denied

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The Gypsy's are imprisoned and can be guaranteed safe passage from the desert for the price of no less than 50,000 Silver.

Disclaimer:

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The Jester Loleznub cannot be held accountable for any actions he takes.  He is normally kept locked up in a dungeon somewhere in order to avoid confrontations such as these.  Perhaps it wouldn't be that bad of an idea to let Loleznub have the village so a permanent residence can be established inside the dungeon for him?

[Stabb]

(click to show/hide)

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Wait what... Why is Black Company on there sir!?

[Voncrow]

Wait what... Why is Black Company on there sir!?

Why not? Blood for the blood god.